Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Warren: I just, I wanted us to be together!
Katrina: There is no us, Warren! Get that through your big meaty head! I am not your girlfriend anymore!
Jonathan: She's your ex?
Andrew: Dude, that is messed up.
Katrina: Oh, you think? You bunch of little boys, playing at being men. Well, this is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks! It's rape!
Katrina: There is no us, Warren! Get that through your big meaty head! I am not your girlfriend anymore!
Jonathan: She's your ex?
Andrew: Dude, that is messed up.
Katrina: Oh, you think? You bunch of little boys, playing at being men. Well, this is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks! It's rape!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: These things just made you think you killed her.
Xander: She was probably dead long before you stumbled across her.
Buffy: It wasn't the demons. It was Warren. He knew Katrina. He had something to do with it, I know it.
Willow: How can you be sure?
Buffy: You always hurt the one you love.
Xander: She was probably dead long before you stumbled across her.
Buffy: It wasn't the demons. It was Warren. He knew Katrina. He had something to do with it, I know it.
Willow: How can you be sure?
Buffy: You always hurt the one you love.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Spike's attempt to get intimate with Buffy is interrupted by Tara's arrival.]
Spike: I had a... muscle cramp. Buffy was, uh, helping.
Tara: A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
Spike: What? It's a thing.
Spike: I had a... muscle cramp. Buffy was, uh, helping.
Tara: A muscle cramp? In your... pants?
Spike: What? It's a thing.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Tara: So Spike! How's that muscle cramp?
Spike: What? Oh... uh... yeah. Better.
Tara: [smirking] Maybe you, uh, wanna put some ice on it.
Spike: What? Oh... uh... yeah. Better.
Tara: [smirking] Maybe you, uh, wanna put some ice on it.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: What, poor dainty Richard can't take a joke?
Buffy: We do not joke about eating people in this house!
Buffy: We do not joke about eating people in this house!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Richard: Ah, you have some weird friends.
Xander: News from the file marked "Duh".
Xander: News from the file marked "Duh".
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: It's dangerous, and so is all of us dying.
Xander: Will, look I don't wanna gang up on you, but Anya kinda has a point. We brought you back from it once, we're all here. It's one little spell. Whatever happens we can bring you back again.
Willow: No, I can't. If I start I.. I might not be able to stop.
Anya: And who's fault is that?? You know if you hadn't gotten so much of this in your system in the first place--
Tara: Hey! You're gonna back off. She said no and that's it. You're not gonna make her do something that she doesn't want to. And if you try, you have to go through me first. Understood?
Xander: Will, look I don't wanna gang up on you, but Anya kinda has a point. We brought you back from it once, we're all here. It's one little spell. Whatever happens we can bring you back again.
Willow: No, I can't. If I start I.. I might not be able to stop.
Anya: And who's fault is that?? You know if you hadn't gotten so much of this in your system in the first place--
Tara: Hey! You're gonna back off. She said no and that's it. You're not gonna make her do something that she doesn't want to. And if you try, you have to go through me first. Understood?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: You know, when I was little I used to spend hours imagining what my wedding to Xander would be like. And now I look at them and just think... he-he-he!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Why did we ever agree to have your friends, who are demons, and my family, who are monsters, stay at our place?
Anya: Well, I can only do so much, Xander. Planning this marriage is like staging the invasion of Normandy.
Xander: Without the laughs.
Anya: Well, I can only do so much, Xander. Planning this marriage is like staging the invasion of Normandy.
Xander: Without the laughs.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy's former flame Riley has returned to Sunnydale with a wife.]
Willow: Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
Buffy: Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.
Willow: Well, that's the beauty. You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.
Buffy: Go nuts.
Willow: Just so you know, I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want.
Buffy: Thanks, but no. I don't wanna seem all petty.
Willow: Well, that's the beauty. You can't, but I can. Please. Let me carry the hate for the both of us.
Buffy: Go nuts.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Tell me you love me.
Spike: I love you... you know I do.
Buffy: Tell me you want me.
Spike: [huskily] I always want you.
Spike: I love you... you know I do.
Buffy: Tell me you want me.
Spike: [huskily] I always want you.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Riley: You want me to say I like seeing you in bed with that idiot? Or that blinding orange is your very best color? Or that that burger smell is appealing?
Buffy: You smelled the smell?
Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything, it doesn't touch you. You're still the first woman I ever loved and the strongest woman I've ever known. And, I'm not advertising this to the missus, but you're still quite the hottie.
Buffy: You know, it goes away after many bathings.
Buffy: You smelled the smell?
Riley: Buffy, none of that means anything, it doesn't touch you. You're still the first woman I ever loved and the strongest woman I've ever known. And, I'm not advertising this to the missus, but you're still quite the hottie.
Buffy: You know, it goes away after many bathings.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: [practicing her wedding vows] I, Anya, promise to... love you, to cherish you, to honor you, but not to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who do you think you are, like a sea captain or something?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
D'Hoffryn: Oh. Hymen's greetings.
Dawn: Hi–what?
D'Hoffryn: Hymen. The god of matrimony. His salutations upon you. May the love we celebrate today avoid an almost inevitable decline.
Dawn: Cool.
Dawn: Hi–what?
D'Hoffryn: Hymen. The god of matrimony. His salutations upon you. May the love we celebrate today avoid an almost inevitable decline.
Dawn: Cool.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: It's nice to watch you be happy, for them, even, I don't see it a lot, you, uh... you glow.
Buffy: That's because the dress is radioactive.
Buffy: That's because the dress is radioactive.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: I, Anya, promise to cherish you. Yeah, no, not cherish. Um, I promise to have sex with you whenever I want, and uh, uh, pledge to be your friend, your wife, and your confidante, and your sex poodle-
Tara: Uh, "sex poodle"?
Tara: Uh, "sex poodle"?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[As Xander wanders the streets in the rain, Anya recites a final version]
Anya: I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because... I love you, and I'll always love you. And, before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. N-not even a person, really. And I'd seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt, and sadness. A-alone was better. And then, suddenly, there was you! And-and you knew me. You saw me. And it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm, so, I... get it now. I finally get love, Xander! I really do.
Anya: I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because... I love you, and I'll always love you. And, before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. N-not even a person, really. And I'd seen what love could do to people, and it was... hurt, and sadness. A-alone was better. And then, suddenly, there was you! And-and you knew me. You saw me. And it was this... thing. You make me feel safe and warm, so, I... get it now. I finally get love, Xander! I really do.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Then I was like... No, it wasn't like, I was in an institution. There were, um, doctors, and nurses and other patients, they told me that I was sick... I guess crazy. And that, um, Sunnydale and all of this, none of it was real.
Xander: Oh, come on, that's ridiculous! What, you think this isn't real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?
Xander: Oh, come on, that's ridiculous! What, you think this isn't real just because of all the vampires, and demons, and ex-vengeance demons, and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe-destroying energy?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy is an inpatient in a psychiatric ward in an "alternate reality" LA. Hank and Joyce Summers, still married, are sitting with Buffy as they consult with her psychiatrist.]
Buffy: [sobbing] Dawn...
Joyce: Dawn?
Psychiatrist: The sister. She was introduced last year. It didn't make a lot of sense though, did it Buffy? She altered the fabric of her reality drastically. (meta-commenting on how the abrupt introduction of Dawn altered the entire series)
Buffy: [sobbing] Dawn...
Joyce: Dawn?
Psychiatrist: The sister. She was introduced last year. It didn't make a lot of sense though, did it Buffy? She altered the fabric of her reality drastically. (meta-commenting on how the abrupt introduction of Dawn altered the entire series)
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Spike and Xander have found the demon that poisoned Buffy.]
Spike: Oh, balls! You didn't say he was a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas'nik!
Xander: 'Cause I can't say Glarba...
Spike: Oh, balls! You didn't say he was a Glarghk Guhl Kashmas'nik!
Xander: 'Cause I can't say Glarba...
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be! I wish your intestines were tied in knots and ripped apart inside your lousy gut!
Xander: They are.
Anya: Really? [brightening] Right now? Does it hurt?
Xander: God, yes. It hurts so bad it's killing me. Anya, I love you. I want to make this work.
Anya: Those are... metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain!
Xander: They are.
Anya: Really? [brightening] Right now? Does it hurt?
Xander: God, yes. It hurts so bad it's killing me. Anya, I love you. I want to make this work.
Anya: Those are... metaphor intestines! You're not in any real pain!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy. Let's talk about Xander.
Tara: Well, it's-it's really not so much about hating the men.
Willow: We're more centered around the girl-on-girl action.
Anya: And men really like to watch that kind of stuff, don't they? Men like Xander!
...
Anya: [frustrated that Willow and Tara won't wish ill on Xander] What kind of lesbians are you? If you love men so much, go love men!
Tara: Well, it's-it's really not so much about hating the men.
Willow: We're more centered around the girl-on-girl action.
Anya: And men really like to watch that kind of stuff, don't they? Men like Xander!
...
Anya: [frustrated that Willow and Tara won't wish ill on Xander] What kind of lesbians are you? If you love men so much, go love men!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I don't think he could feel any worse.
Anya: Let's test that theory.
Buffy: Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong, and if it happened to me, I'd-
Anya: Wish his penis would explode?
Anya: Let's test that theory.
Buffy: Anya, Xander's my friend. I know what he did was wrong, and if it happened to me, I'd-
Anya: Wish his penis would explode?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: [to Spike] You faced the monster inside of you and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I believe in you, Spike.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Tara: Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard.
Willow: Tara?
Tara: You can't ever... put 'em back the way they were...
Willow: Are you okay?
Tara: I'm sorry, it's just... [sigh] you know it takes time. You can't just... have coffee and expect—
Willow: I know.
Tara: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can... can you just be kissing me now?
Willow: Tara?
Tara: You can't ever... put 'em back the way they were...
Willow: Are you okay?
Tara: I'm sorry, it's just... [sigh] you know it takes time. You can't just... have coffee and expect—
Willow: I know.
Tara: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides... You have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives. It's a long... important process, and... can we just skip it? Can... can you just be kissing me now?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: You tell them if you want. Go ahead. Rock the boat. Rock and roll it the hell over. My friends and I'll still be groovin' with the movin'. [She stakes the first vamp] Know why? I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me now? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll deal.
Spike: In that case why won't you sleep with me again?
[The second vamp looks at Spike with a confuse expression on his face. Buffy stakes him]
Buffy: [walking away] Because I don't love you
Spike: [To himself] Like hell.
Spike: In that case why won't you sleep with me again?
[The second vamp looks at Spike with a confuse expression on his face. Buffy stakes him]
Buffy: [walking away] Because I don't love you
Spike: [To himself] Like hell.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Mmm, I forgot how good this could feel. Us. Together. Without the magic.
Tara: There was plenty of magic.
Tara: There was plenty of magic.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Crying woman: He said he loved me.
Anya: Oh, gee, then he must have meant it, 'cause hey, guys never say anything they don't really mean, do they?
Crying woman: But we-
Anya: They say, "I love you," and, and you think it's true. They say, "Oh, Anya, I want to be with you for the rest of my life," and, and you believe them, you believe they feel the same way about you, because that's the way love's supposed to be, right?
Crying woman: Who's Anya?
Anya: And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation, but wait! Not so fast! There's the apocalypse, a-and the back from the grave, and the blah blah blah blah blah, and by the time you're finally standing there in that beautiful expensive white dress you've dreamed about ever since you became human, he's gets all heebie-jeebie and decides, "you know, I'd rather just go steady."
Anya: Oh, gee, then he must have meant it, 'cause hey, guys never say anything they don't really mean, do they?
Crying woman: But we-
Anya: They say, "I love you," and, and you think it's true. They say, "Oh, Anya, I want to be with you for the rest of my life," and, and you believe them, you believe they feel the same way about you, because that's the way love's supposed to be, right?
Crying woman: Who's Anya?
Anya: And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation, but wait! Not so fast! There's the apocalypse, a-and the back from the grave, and the blah blah blah blah blah, and by the time you're finally standing there in that beautiful expensive white dress you've dreamed about ever since you became human, he's gets all heebie-jeebie and decides, "you know, I'd rather just go steady."
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business.
Xander: [softly] It used to be.
Buffy: It just happened, okay?
Xander: Oh, like, uh, "Say, you're evil. Get on me"?
Buffy: You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn.
Xander: But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking?
Xander: [softly] It used to be.
Buffy: It just happened, okay?
Xander: Oh, like, uh, "Say, you're evil. Get on me"?
Buffy: You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn.
Xander: But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Jonathan: We're risking everything so that Charles Atlas can get a date? He's going to end up getting us thrown into jail. Or worse. Maybe you and I should think about—
Andrew: Warren's the boss. He's Picard, you're Deanna Troi. Get used to the feeling, Betazoid.
...
Warren: Don't worry babies, daddy gonna give you some too.
Xander: See, now I think it's the daddy thing that's throwing her, 'cause incest, not that sexy.
Andrew: Warren's the boss. He's Picard, you're Deanna Troi. Get used to the feeling, Betazoid.
...
Warren: Don't worry babies, daddy gonna give you some too.
Xander: See, now I think it's the daddy thing that's throwing her, 'cause incest, not that sexy.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer