Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Warren: You think you could just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with that? [laughs some seconds] Think again. [Points a gun at Buffy and shoot five times, three of them while he runs away]
Tara: [Has been shot in her chest from behind, looking confused at Willow] Your shirt...
Tara: [Has been shot in her chest from behind, looking confused at Willow] Your shirt...
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Anya was saying she knows where Willow is.
Buffy: A spell?
Xander: Not exactly. Seems Anya got her vengeance on again.
Buffy: A spell?
Xander: Not exactly. Seems Anya got her vengeance on again.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Warren: It was an accident, you know.
Dark Willow: Oh. You mean, instead of killing my best friend you killed my girlfriend.
Warren: It wasn't personal, that's all.
Dark Willow: Well this is.
Dark Willow: Oh. You mean, instead of killing my best friend you killed my girlfriend.
Warren: It wasn't personal, that's all.
Dark Willow: Well this is.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Jonathan: [about going to prison] I hear they like guys with small hands like their girlfriends.
Andrew: Relax, this isn't Oz, it's Mayberry.
Andrew: Relax, this isn't Oz, it's Mayberry.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Andrew: Think they'll let my aunt bring me my Discman?
Jonathan: That's what you worried about? In-flight entertainment? We're in jail!
Andrew: We're in custody. We haven't been charged yet.
Jonathan: Thank you, Dragnet. It doesn't matter what they call it, they got us, okay? We're going down. [lowers his voice] That guy's been looking at me. I think he wants to make me his butt monkey.
Jonathan: That's what you worried about? In-flight entertainment? We're in jail!
Andrew: We're in custody. We haven't been charged yet.
Jonathan: Thank you, Dragnet. It doesn't matter what they call it, they got us, okay? We're going down. [lowers his voice] That guy's been looking at me. I think he wants to make me his butt monkey.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Warren: I had my own guys. The Trio, yeah, you've heard of us.
Rack: Right. What were you, a band or something?
Rack: Right. What were you, a band or something?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cave Demon: You seek me, vampire?
Spike: [observing the cave walls] You do the finger paintings? Nice work.
Cave Demon: Answer me.
Spike: Yeah... I seek you.
Cave Demon: Something about a woman. The Slayer.
Spike: [angrily] Thinks she's better than me. Ever since I got this bleeding chip in my head, I haven't been right. Everything's gone to hell.
Cave Demon: And you want to return to your former self.
Spike: Yeah. [the demon laughs darkly] What?
Cave Demon: Look what she's reduced you to.
Spike: It's this bloody chip, not--
Cave Demon: You were a legendary dark warrior, and you let yourself be castrated! Now you have the audacity to crawl in here and demand restoration?
Spike: I'm still a warrior--
Cave Demon: You're a pathetic excuse for a demon!
Spike: Yeah? I'll show you who's pathetic. Give me your best shot, Lurky.
Cave Demon: You'd never endure the trials required to grant your request.
Spike: Do your worst. But when I win, I want what I came here for. Bitch is gonna see a change...
Spike: [observing the cave walls] You do the finger paintings? Nice work.
Cave Demon: Answer me.
Spike: Yeah... I seek you.
Cave Demon: Something about a woman. The Slayer.
Spike: [angrily] Thinks she's better than me. Ever since I got this bleeding chip in my head, I haven't been right. Everything's gone to hell.
Cave Demon: And you want to return to your former self.
Spike: Yeah. [the demon laughs darkly] What?
Cave Demon: Look what she's reduced you to.
Spike: It's this bloody chip, not--
Cave Demon: You were a legendary dark warrior, and you let yourself be castrated! Now you have the audacity to crawl in here and demand restoration?
Spike: I'm still a warrior--
Cave Demon: You're a pathetic excuse for a demon!
Spike: Yeah? I'll show you who's pathetic. Give me your best shot, Lurky.
Cave Demon: You'd never endure the trials required to grant your request.
Spike: Do your worst. But when I win, I want what I came here for. Bitch is gonna see a change...
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Jonathan: You're checking for implants?
Andrew: Lex Luthor had a false epidermis escape hit in Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man, Treasury Edition...
Jonathon: Okay, first of all, those were sonic disrupters. Second of all, you are sadness personified!
Andrew: Lex Luthor had a false epidermis escape hit in Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man, Treasury Edition...
Jonathon: Okay, first of all, those were sonic disrupters. Second of all, you are sadness personified!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: Warren shot Buffy. Warren shot Tara. Buffy's alive, Tara is dead. Willow found out, and, being the most powerful wicca in the western hemisphere she decided to get the payback, with interest.
Andrew: What about Warren?
Anya: She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
Andrew: Oh my god, Warren!
Jonathon: Oh my god, me!
Andrew: What about Warren?
Anya: She killed him. Ripped him apart and bloodied up the forest doing it. Now she's coming here and the two of you are next.
Andrew: Oh my god, Warren!
Jonathon: Oh my god, me!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Andrew: Think your little witch buddy's gonna stop with us? You saw her! She's a truck-driving magic mama! And we've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers! And not one of you bunch has the midi-clorians to stop her!
Xander: [after a brief silence] You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
Anya: The annoying virgin has a point.
Xander: [after a brief silence] You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
Anya: The annoying virgin has a point.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: I care if you live or die, Xander. I'm just not sure which one I want.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dark Willow: Let me tell you something about Willow. She's a loser. Always has been. She got picked on through junior high, high school, right up until college. With her stupid mousy ways. And now? [laughs bitterly] Willow's a junkie. The only thing Willow was ever good for...the only thing I ever had going for me were those moments...just moments...where Tara would look at me and I was wonderful. And that will never happen again.
...
Dark Willow: [to Buffy] Please! This is your pitch? You hate it here as much as I do! I'm just more honest about it. You're trying to sell me on the world? The one where you lie to your friends when you're not trying to kill them? Where you screw a vampire just to feel and insane asylums are the comfy alternative? This world? Buffy, it's me! I know you were happier when you were in the ground. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Until Willow brought you back. You know, with magic?
...
Dark Willow: [to Buffy] Please! This is your pitch? You hate it here as much as I do! I'm just more honest about it. You're trying to sell me on the world? The one where you lie to your friends when you're not trying to kill them? Where you screw a vampire just to feel and insane asylums are the comfy alternative? This world? Buffy, it's me! I know you were happier when you were in the ground. The only time you were ever at peace in your whole life was when you were dead. Until Willow brought you back. You know, with magic?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dark Willow: Oh Buffy. You really need every square inch of your ass kicked.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dark Willow: The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence. It's about the power. And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now.
Giles: I'd like to test that theory.
Giles: I'd like to test that theory.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dark Willow: You called me a rank, arrogant amateur. Well buckle up, Rupert... 'Cause I've turned pro.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Buffy, what's happened here?
Buffy: God. I don't even know where to start.
Giles: Well, Willow's clearly been abusing the magicks.
Buffy: She has. She was ... and I barely even noticed. Giles, everything's just been so... [sighs.] Xander left Anya at the altar, and Anya's a vengeance demon again... [Giles looks shocked.] Dawn's a total klepto ... money's been so tight that I've been slinging burgers at the Doublemeat Palace ... [looks down at the floor.] And I've been sleeping with Spike.
[Giles stares at her... then starts laughing. He covers his mouth with his hand but can't stop. Buffy stares at him.]
Giles: [trying to calm down.] Sorry.
[He bursts out laughing again. Buffy rolls her eyes, now just looks amused. Giles keeps laughing and slowly Buffy starts to laugh too.]
...
Giles: Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is... ask for help when you need it.
Buffy: Now you tell me.
Buffy: God. I don't even know where to start.
Giles: Well, Willow's clearly been abusing the magicks.
Buffy: She has. She was ... and I barely even noticed. Giles, everything's just been so... [sighs.] Xander left Anya at the altar, and Anya's a vengeance demon again... [Giles looks shocked.] Dawn's a total klepto ... money's been so tight that I've been slinging burgers at the Doublemeat Palace ... [looks down at the floor.] And I've been sleeping with Spike.
[Giles stares at her... then starts laughing. He covers his mouth with his hand but can't stop. Buffy stares at him.]
Giles: [trying to calm down.] Sorry.
[He bursts out laughing again. Buffy rolls her eyes, now just looks amused. Giles keeps laughing and slowly Buffy starts to laugh too.]
...
Giles: Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is... ask for help when you need it.
Buffy: Now you tell me.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dark Willow: Is this the master plan? You're gonna stop me by telling me ya love me?
Xander: Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but, eh, it seemed kinda cartoony.
...
Xander: First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.
Willow: You think I won't?
Xander: It doesn't matter. I'll still love you.
Willow: Shut up!
Xander: Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but, eh, it seemed kinda cartoony.
...
Xander: First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.
Willow: You think I won't?
Xander: It doesn't matter. I'll still love you.
Willow: Shut up!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dawn: I'm sorry to disappoint...wait, is that happy crying?
Buffy: Yes, dummy. You think I wanted the world to end?
Dawn: I don't know. Didn't you?
...
Buffy: I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you.
Buffy: Yes, dummy. You think I wanted the world to end?
Dawn: I don't know. Didn't you?
...
Buffy: I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[A bloodied and exhausted Spike lies on the ground in the cave]
Cave Demon: You have completed the required challenges.
Spike: Bloody right I have. Now give me what I came for. Make me what I was so Buffy can get what she deserves.
Cave Demon: Very well. [places his hand on Spike's chest] We will return your soul.
[A light flashes on Spike's chest as he screams in pain]
Cave Demon: You have completed the required challenges.
Spike: Bloody right I have. Now give me what I came for. Make me what I was so Buffy can get what she deserves.
Cave Demon: Very well. [places his hand on Spike's chest] We will return your soul.
[A light flashes on Spike's chest as he screams in pain]
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: My first time out, I missed the heart too.
Dawn: No way.
Buffy: Just the once.
Dawn: No way.
Buffy: Just the once.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: How do you make cereal?
Buffy: I put the box next to the milk. I saw it on the food channel.
Xander: So, how are you doing?
Buffy: My sister's about to go to the same school that tried to kill me for three years. I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare for what may come out of there. So peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.
Buffy: I put the box next to the milk. I saw it on the food channel.
Xander: So, how are you doing?
Buffy: My sister's about to go to the same school that tried to kill me for three years. I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare for what may come out of there. So peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Stay away from hyena people, or any loser athletes, or if you see anyone who's invisible...
Dawn: I think it's pretty safe to say I'm not going to see anyone who's invisible.
Dawn: I think it's pretty safe to say I'm not going to see anyone who's invisible.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: The coven, they're the most amazing women I've ever met, but there's this look they get, like I'm going to turn them all into bangers and mash. And I'm not even sure what that is.
Giles: They're cautious. I'm sure you can understand that.
Willow: I don't have that much power, I don't think.
Giles: It's all connected. You're connected to a great power, whether you feel it or not.
Willow: I wish you'd just take it from me.
Giles: You know we can't. This isn't a hobby or an addiction. It's inside you now. You're responsible for it.
Willow: Will they always be afraid of me?
Giles: Maybe. Can you handle that?
Willow: I deserve a lot worse. I killed people, Giles.
Giles: I've not forgotten.
Willow: When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me, or to lock me in a mystical dungeon for all eternity, or with the torture. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me. I'm learning about magic, Gaia, energy, and the roots system.
Giles: Do you want to be punished?
Willow: I want to be Willow.
Giles: You are. In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.
Giles: They're cautious. I'm sure you can understand that.
Willow: I don't have that much power, I don't think.
Giles: It's all connected. You're connected to a great power, whether you feel it or not.
Willow: I wish you'd just take it from me.
Giles: You know we can't. This isn't a hobby or an addiction. It's inside you now. You're responsible for it.
Willow: Will they always be afraid of me?
Giles: Maybe. Can you handle that?
Willow: I deserve a lot worse. I killed people, Giles.
Giles: I've not forgotten.
Willow: When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me, or to lock me in a mystical dungeon for all eternity, or with the torture. Instead you go all Dumbledore on me. I'm learning about magic, Gaia, energy, and the roots system.
Giles: Do you want to be punished?
Willow: I want to be Willow.
Giles: You are. In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Convinced he's going mad, Spike is tormented by The First.]
Spike: I had a speech... I learned it all... Oh god, she won't understand, she won't understand...
The First[as Warren]: Of course she won't understand, Sparky. I'm beyond her understanding. She's a girl! With sugar, and spice, and everything... useless. Unless you're baking. I'm more than that. More than flesh...
The First[as Glory]: ... more than blood... I'm... you know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me. Oh, my name will be on everyone's lips. Assuming their lips haven't been torn off. But not just yet. That's all right, though. ...
The First[as Adam]: ... I can be patient. Everything is well within parameters. She's exactly where I want her to be. And so are you, Number 17. You're right where you belong.
The First[as Mayor Wilkins]: So, what'd you think? You'd get your soul back, and everything'd be jim-dandy? A soul's slippier than a greased weasel! Why do you think I sold mine? Well, you probably thought that you'd be your own man, and I respect that. But you...
The First[as Drusilla]: ...never will. You'll always be mine. You'll always be in the dark with me... singing our little song. You like our little songs, don't you? You've always liked them. Right from the beginning. And that's where we're going, ...
The First[as the Master]: ... right back to the beginning! Not the Bang. Not the Word. The true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride, and I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you, trying to do what's right - just like her. You still don't get it. It's not about right. Not about wrong.
The First
Spike: I had a speech... I learned it all... Oh god, she won't understand, she won't understand...
The First[as Warren]: Of course she won't understand, Sparky. I'm beyond her understanding. She's a girl! With sugar, and spice, and everything... useless. Unless you're baking. I'm more than that. More than flesh...
The First[as Glory]: ... more than blood... I'm... you know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me. Oh, my name will be on everyone's lips. Assuming their lips haven't been torn off. But not just yet. That's all right, though. ...
The First[as Adam]: ... I can be patient. Everything is well within parameters. She's exactly where I want her to be. And so are you, Number 17. You're right where you belong.
The First[as Mayor Wilkins]: So, what'd you think? You'd get your soul back, and everything'd be jim-dandy? A soul's slippier than a greased weasel! Why do you think I sold mine? Well, you probably thought that you'd be your own man, and I respect that. But you...
The First[as Drusilla]: ...never will. You'll always be mine. You'll always be in the dark with me... singing our little song. You like our little songs, don't you? You've always liked them. Right from the beginning. And that's where we're going, ...
The First[as the Master]: ... right back to the beginning! Not the Bang. Not the Word. The true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride, and I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you, trying to do what's right - just like her. You still don't get it. It's not about right. Not about wrong.
The First
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I doubt we'll even see each other. Assuming I even half understand my fuzzy job description.
Dawn: It's not fuzzy. You're what, dealing with troubled kids?
Xander: At a spanking new Hellmouth High. Please, outside of drugs, violence, and unwanted pregnancy and the unleashing of hordes of Armageddon that comes pouring out of its schools foundation every now and then, what trouble could these kids have?
Dawn: It's not fuzzy. You're what, dealing with troubled kids?
Xander: At a spanking new Hellmouth High. Please, outside of drugs, violence, and unwanted pregnancy and the unleashing of hordes of Armageddon that comes pouring out of its schools foundation every now and then, what trouble could these kids have?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Sunnydale. Come for the food, stay for the dismemberment.
Nancy: There's good food?
Nancy: There's good food?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Anya: I had a quota, the guy had it coming. What's the big?
Nancy: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Buffy: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog.
Anya: [anguished] Oooh, puppy!
Xander: Wait — that gets your sad noise? People's lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?
Nancy: I think I'm gonna be sick.
Buffy: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog.
Anya: [anguished] Oooh, puppy!
Xander: Wait — that gets your sad noise? People's lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: Ain't we in a sodding engine?
Buffy: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
Spike: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?
Buffy: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
Spike: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Spike: I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak... did you make me weak? Thinking of you. Holding myself and spilling useless buckets of salt over your... ending. Angel, he should've warned me. Makes a good show of forgetting, but it's here. In me. All the time. The spark. I wanted to give you... what you deserve. And I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn.
Buffy: Your soul?
Spike: Bit worse for lack of use.
Buffy: You got your soul back. How?
Spike: It's what you wanted, right? It's... it's what you wanted, right? And-and now everybody's in here... talking. Everything I did... everyone I... and HIM. And it. The other. The thing... beneath... beneath you. It's here, too. Everybody. They all just tell me go. Go... to Hell.
Buffy: Why? Why would you do that?
Spike: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he musn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev... To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now? Buffy? Can we rest?
Buffy: Your soul?
Spike: Bit worse for lack of use.
Buffy: You got your soul back. How?
Spike: It's what you wanted, right? It's... it's what you wanted, right? And-and now everybody's in here... talking. Everything I did... everyone I... and HIM. And it. The other. The thing... beneath... beneath you. It's here, too. Everybody. They all just tell me go. Go... to Hell.
Buffy: Why? Why would you do that?
Spike: Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he musn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev... To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now? Buffy? Can we rest?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dawn: Well, if she's doing that—ducking Giles—then, she's evil, right?
Xander: Well, I've avoided Giles tons of times. Just meant I was lazy, not evil.
Buffy: I hope you're right, because defeating Lazy Willow — probably less hard.
Xander: Well, I've avoided Giles tons of times. Just meant I was lazy, not evil.
Buffy: I hope you're right, because defeating Lazy Willow — probably less hard.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer