Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Ampata: You are always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago. The Inca Princess.
Buffy: Cool! A princess.
Ampata: They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Out of all the girls in her generation... she was the only one... chosen. Do you know the story?
Buffy: It's fairly familiar.
Ampata: She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others?
Buffy: Cool! A princess.
Ampata: They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world. Out of all the girls in her generation... she was the only one... chosen. Do you know the story?
Buffy: It's fairly familiar.
Ampata: She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Okay, I have something to tell you. And it's kind of a secret, and it's, um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to go to with me the dance.
Ampata: [laughs] Why was that so scary?
Xander: Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if... she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.
Ampata: Hmm. Then you are very courageous.
Ampata: [laughs] Why was that so scary?
Xander: Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if... she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.
Ampata: Hmm. Then you are very courageous.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.
Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I-I do think she cared about you.
Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.
Buffy: She was gypped. She was just a girl, and she had her life taken away from her. I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.
Xander: Yeah, but you did. You gave up your life.
Buffy: I had you to bring me back.
Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I-I do think she cared about you.
Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.
Buffy: She was gypped. She was just a girl, and she had her life taken away from her. I remember how I felt when I heard the prophecy that I was gonna die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing.
Xander: Yeah, but you did. You gave up your life.
Buffy: I had you to bring me back.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're 16 years old, I'm 241.
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.
Buffy: Oh, no, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: [grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I want to die.
Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?
Angel: You're 16 years old, I'm 241.
Buffy: I've done the math.
Angel: You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.
Buffy: Oh, no, I, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.
Angel: Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.
Buffy: One thing already has led to another. You think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?
Angel: I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.
Buffy: Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
Angel: [grabs her roughly] This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.
Buffy: No. When you kiss me I want to die.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: You lied to Giles.
Buffy: I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.
Xander: Like a corn dog.
Willow: Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
Buffy: There's no orgies!
Buffy: I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.
Xander: Like a corn dog.
Willow: Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren't I on the mailing list?
Buffy: There's no orgies!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Angel barely says two words to me.
Xander: Don't you hate that?
Buffy: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.
Xander: That bastard!
Buffy: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.
Xander: Yeah! (pause) Tom? Who's Tom?
Willow: The frat guy.
Xander: Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm sayin'?
Xander: Don't you hate that?
Buffy: And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.
Xander: That bastard!
Buffy: You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.
Xander: Yeah! (pause) Tom? Who's Tom?
Willow: The frat guy.
Xander: Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan, fire? You know what I'm sayin'?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: She lied to me?
Willow: Well...
Angel: Did... she have a date?
Willow: (to Angel) Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?? [Awkward beat.] Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've got to help Buffy.
Willow: Well...
Angel: Did... she have a date?
Willow: (to Angel) Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure! I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever! You don't have time for a cup of coffee?? [Awkward beat.] Okay, I don't feel better now, and we've got to help Buffy.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words "let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher Diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell.
Buffy: Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.
Willow: Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.
Buffy: Most importantly, it would be wrong.
Buffy: Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private.
Willow: Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.
Buffy: Most importantly, it would be wrong.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Angel's a vampire, I thought you knew.
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.
Willow: It's true.
Cordelia: You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire! Of course! But the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.
Willow: It's true.
Cordelia: You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
[Buffy admonishes Willow on her choice of a boring ghost costume.]
Buffy: It's just ... You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding! You're missing the whole point of Halloween.
Willow: Free candy?
Buffy: It's "come as you aren't" night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions.
Willow: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.
Buffy: It's just ... You're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding! You're missing the whole point of Halloween.
Willow: Free candy?
Buffy: It's "come as you aren't" night! The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild, with no repercussions.
Willow: Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Drusilla: Do you love my insides? The parts you can't see?
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.
Spike: Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Ta da. Just little old 20th-century me.
Angel: Sure you're okay?
Buffy: I'll live.
Angel: I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?
Buffy: I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.
Angel: Oh, ho.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I hated the girls back then. Especially the noblewomen.
Buffy: You did.
Angel: They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone ... exciting. Interesting.
Buffy: Really? Interesting how?
Angel: You know how.
Buffy: Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.
Angel: You're right. I should.
Buffy: Definitely.
Angel: Sure you're okay?
Buffy: I'll live.
Angel: I don't get it, Buffy. Why'd you think I'd like you better dressed that way?
Buffy: I just wanted to be a real girl for once. The kind of fancy girl you liked when you were my age.
Angel: Oh, ho.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I hated the girls back then. Especially the noblewomen.
Buffy: You did.
Angel: They were just incredibly dull. Simpering morons, the lot of them. I always wished I could meet someone ... exciting. Interesting.
Buffy: Really? Interesting how?
Angel: You know how.
Buffy: Still, I had a really hard day. You should probably tell me.
Angel: You're right. I should.
Buffy: Definitely.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cordelia: I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie-Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort. And I know the peasants were all depressed ...
Xander: I think you mean oppressed.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're like, "Let's lose some heads." Uh! That's fair. And Marie-Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!
Xander: I think you mean oppressed.
Cordelia: Whatever. They were cranky. So they're like, "Let's lose some heads." Uh! That's fair. And Marie-Antoinette cared about them. She was gonna let them have cake!
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: Uh, Angel? If I say something you really don't want to hear, do you promise not to bite me?
Angel: Are you going to tell me that I'm jealous?
Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty ... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.
Angel: Are you going to tell me that I'm jealous?
Willow: Well, you do sometimes get that way.
Angel: You know, I never used to. Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just hanging out, feeling guilty ... I really honed my brooding skills. Then she comes along. Yeah, I get jealous. But I know people. And my gut tells me this is a wrong guy.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel: He left no paper trail. That's incriminating enough.
Xander: I'm going to have to go with Deadboy on this one.
Angel: Could ya not call me that?
Xander: I'm going to have to go with Deadboy on this one.
Angel: Could ya not call me that?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel: Do you love me?
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Buffy: Maybe I'm the one who should decide!
Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was ... an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.
Buffy: And you made her a vampire.
Angel: First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.
Buffy: Well. I asked for the truth.
Buffy: What?
Angel: Do you?
Buffy: I love you. I don't know if I trust you.
Angel: Maybe you shouldn't do either.
Buffy: Maybe I'm the one who should decide!
Angel: I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was ... an obsession of mine. She was pure, and sweet, and chaste.
Buffy: And you made her a vampire.
Angel: First I made her insane. Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.
Buffy: Well. I asked for the truth.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: I believe that's called growing up.
Buffy: Then I'd like to stop, okay?
Giles: I know the feeling.
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
(Ford rises from the ground and attacks Buffy, she stakes him)
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.
Buffy: Then I'd like to stop, okay?
Giles: I know the feeling.
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
(Ford rises from the ground and attacks Buffy, she stakes him)
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."
Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, "There should be more math. This could be mathier."
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Giles: Um, a medical transport is delivering the monthly supply of blood to the hospital.
Buffy: Mm. Vampire Meals-On-Wheels.
Buffy: Mm. Vampire Meals-On-Wheels.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Rory was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores?
Buffy: He was alone.
Xander: Give it time.
Buffy: He was alone.
Xander: Give it time.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?
Xander: I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah.
Xander: I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you're a person.
Giles: Most grownups are.
Giles: Most grownups are.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: "Are you a people person, or do you prefer keeping your own company?" Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?
Buffy: So, mark "none of the above".
Xander: Well, there are no boxes for "none of the above". That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.
Buffy: So, mark "none of the above".
Xander: Well, there are no boxes for "none of the above". That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom head, number-crunching little world.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Xander: What, and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
Willow: You're not gonna be young forever.
Xander: Yes, but I'll always be stupid. [silence. He looks around] Let's not all rush to disagree.
Willow: You're not gonna be young forever.
Xander: Yes, but I'll always be stupid. [silence. He looks around] Let's not all rush to disagree.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.
Angel: Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Buffy: Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle-robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dalton: Yes, but ... The Order of Taraka. I mean, isn't that overkill?
Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill.
Spike: No, I think it's just enough kill.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cordelia: I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.
Xander: That's what a lot of the guys say, but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
Cordelia: Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.
Xander: I like to think of you more as my witless foil, but have it your way.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cordelia: You know what? I'm going. I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping you!
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Xander: Not just any girl. You're special.
Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with you!
Xander: I hope these are my last few moments. Three more seconds with you and I'm gonna...
Cordelia: "I'm gonna" what? [steps closer] Coward!
Xander: Moron!
Cordelia: I hate you!
Xander: I hate you!
[They kiss]
Xander: ...We so need to get out of here!
Cordelia: [nods, frightened] Uh huh.
Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping you!
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't. I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Xander: Not just any girl. You're special.
Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with you!
Xander: I hope these are my last few moments. Three more seconds with you and I'm gonna...
Cordelia: "I'm gonna" what? [steps closer] Coward!
Xander: Moron!
Cordelia: I hate you!
Xander: I hate you!
[They kiss]
Xander: ...We so need to get out of here!
Cordelia: [nods, frightened] Uh huh.
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...
Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.
Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool...
Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.
Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?
TV Show: Buffy the Vampire Slayer