Burn Notice Quotes
Michael: [V.O.] My mother's understanding of my career changes with what she wants from me. One day, she can name everyone on the National Security Council, the next day, she thinks I work for the post office.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] A hitman is like a plumber, a dentist or a mechanic. Everybody is always looking for a good one.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] Truth is, identity theft isn't hard. A number and an ID is all you need to drain a bank account and return some money to some very surprised retirees. But why stop there? As long as you're stealing someone's identity, why not use it to contact some known terrorist organizations on unsecured phone lines? Why not use it to threaten federal judges and insult the local drug cartel? Most fun I've had in Miami.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Sophie: So we're supposed to stay in here, in the garage, and do nothing?
Michael: Pretty much. It's not so bad as safe houses go. You got a TV at least. I once spent three days in a Riyadh storage facility with nothing but a flashlight and an Arabic celebrity magazine.
Michael: Pretty much. It's not so bad as safe houses go. You got a TV at least. I once spent three days in a Riyadh storage facility with nothing but a flashlight and an Arabic celebrity magazine.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] When you go on the run, the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if the bad guys find the trail and believe it's for real, which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information they'll believe it that much more because it's hard to get.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [To Sam] Well, I'll tell you what, if there's a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozy flirting, you're my guy.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] International conferences attract spies for the same reason hotel bars attract hookers: you can do business and drink for free.
TV Show: Burn Notice
[Madeline is reminiscing about Michael and his father.]
Madeline Westen: I remember what fun you two had always working on cars in the garage.
Michael: Fun? I remember him making me fake a seizure at Mr. Goodwrench so he could steal spark plugs.
Madeline Westen: I remember what fun you two had always working on cars in the garage.
Michael: Fun? I remember him making me fake a seizure at Mr. Goodwrench so he could steal spark plugs.
TV Show: Burn Notice
[After Fi scares off the hit squad with her Molotov cocktails]
Sam: How many were there?
Fiona: I don't know, four? They took off after cocktail hour.
Michael: Fi, it looks like Fallujah down there.
Fiona: I was half hoping that they'd stick around for a bit. Cara's got quite a liquor cabinet, good for a ten hour siege.
Sam: How many were there?
Fiona: I don't know, four? They took off after cocktail hour.
Michael: Fi, it looks like Fallujah down there.
Fiona: I was half hoping that they'd stick around for a bit. Cara's got quite a liquor cabinet, good for a ten hour siege.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Carl Wilhelm: "Pimped"? I'm not a pimp.
Michael: [cheerfully] You say "tomato", I say "pimp."
Michael: [cheerfully] You say "tomato", I say "pimp."
TV Show: Burn Notice
Sam Axe: If I lose my pension, you're gonna be changing my diapers when I'm 95 and drooling.
Michael: Sam, I would never let that happen. I'd smother you with a pillow first.
Michael: Sam, I would never let that happen. I'd smother you with a pillow first.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: Hey, can I borrow your car?
Sam: Where ya going?
Michael: Uh, just to the store to get some new yogurt.
Sam: [chuckles] Come on, Mike. Fiona calls, whisper whisper, all of a sudden you gotta have yogurt? What's the big secret?
Michael: No big secret, just looove yogurt.
Sam: Where ya going?
Michael: Uh, just to the store to get some new yogurt.
Sam: [chuckles] Come on, Mike. Fiona calls, whisper whisper, all of a sudden you gotta have yogurt? What's the big secret?
Michael: No big secret, just looove yogurt.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Nate Westen: No wonder I got my ass kicked.
Fiona Glenanne: Oh, you were lucky. The old guy had a Desert Eagle 9mm with combat grips.
Michael: Ex-Mossad.
Nate: What do you mean, like Israeli spies?
Fiona: Sure. Every other retired spook is an arms dealer. Not a bad gig, if you can stand ex-spooks.
[Michael shoots her a look.]
Fiona Glenanne: Oh, you were lucky. The old guy had a Desert Eagle 9mm with combat grips.
Michael: Ex-Mossad.
Nate: What do you mean, like Israeli spies?
Fiona: Sure. Every other retired spook is an arms dealer. Not a bad gig, if you can stand ex-spooks.
[Michael shoots her a look.]
TV Show: Burn Notice
[Fiona is making an explosive concoction.]
Michael: How's it coming, Fi?
Fiona: Dangerous, unstable. Remind you of anyone?
Michael: How's it coming, Fi?
Fiona: Dangerous, unstable. Remind you of anyone?
TV Show: Burn Notice
Sam Axe: Hey, Mikey. When you read this guy's profile you're gonna kiss me.
Michael: I am not gonna kiss you, Sam.
Sam: Look, I'm not saying I'm gonna like it. I'm just saying you're gonna kiss me.
Michael: I am not gonna kiss you, Sam.
Sam: Look, I'm not saying I'm gonna like it. I'm just saying you're gonna kiss me.
TV Show: Burn Notice
[Nate hugs Michael and walks away.]
Madeline Westen: Now you see Michael, you're too hard on him. I mean, he can be so sweet. I just want us to be a family.
Michael: I know, Mom, I know. [Michael pauses and then looks up.] He just stole my wallet.
Madeline Westen: Now you see Michael, you're too hard on him. I mean, he can be so sweet. I just want us to be a family.
Michael: I know, Mom, I know. [Michael pauses and then looks up.] He just stole my wallet.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Jake: They're expecting my answer today. What do I say?
Michael: Well, since they're probably planning on killing you if you say anything else, I'd suggest, "Yes."
Michael: Well, since they're probably planning on killing you if you say anything else, I'd suggest, "Yes."
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] You can tie up a lot of resources by keeping a bugged phone line open. As long as it's open they're supposed to keep listening. Say a few cryptic things now and then and they'll be stuck in their little van trying to figure out what the hell you're doing.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Fiona Glenanne: Honestly, I don't know why they bother. They should just put a bullet in your head and be done with it.
Michael: Apparently I'm more valuable alive than dead. But I'm sure they'll take it under advisement.
Michael: Apparently I'm more valuable alive than dead. But I'm sure they'll take it under advisement.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael Westen: [V.O.] Military firebombs are typically white phosphorus or chlorine trifluoride. These are remarkably effective, but they are also unstable, lethally toxic, and hard to find at the grocery store. The main ingredient in a homemade firebomb, on the other hand, is Styrofoam. A military demolition expert can put something together in a few hours. An IRA trained guerrilla can do it in twenty minutes... give or take.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] In any new job there's always friction with your co-workers. They are wondering if the boss likes the new guy better, if he's going to make them look bad... In some jobs that can get you a dark look in the break room; in other jobs that can get you a bullet in the back of the head.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] In intelligence work, surveillance is called coverage. It's like basketball; you can run zone defense or man-to-man. Man-to-man is risky; follow someone too long and they're going to get suspicious. Zone is usually the way to go. Stay put and let targets come to you. Less obvious, easier on the feet... and you can catch up on your celebrity gossip.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Fiona Glenanne: You have always had a problem with my work. I have always supported you.
Michael: I'm helping people; you're running guns! Big difference!
Michael: I'm helping people; you're running guns! Big difference!
TV Show: Burn Notice
[Michael and Fiona are in their car being chased by cops.]
Michael: Do you have guns in the trunk, Fi?!
Fiona: A few semi-automatics, yeah. I got a deal, Michael. This guy was selling Browning 9mms for 200 bucks a piece.
Michael: You have unregistered weapons in a stolen car, Fi!
Michael: Do you have guns in the trunk, Fi?!
Fiona: A few semi-automatics, yeah. I got a deal, Michael. This guy was selling Browning 9mms for 200 bucks a piece.
Michael: You have unregistered weapons in a stolen car, Fi!
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] Clandestine meetings are never fun to arrange. It's a big part of the job for a covert operative but it's never pleasant. It's not so much the fear of death that bothers you, it's driving to the meeting with a bag over your head... Sometimes they wash the bag, sometimes they don't.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Barry: Name's Cristo. Like Madonna, the whole one name thing.
Sam Axe: Like Charo.
Barry: Sting.
Sam: Fergie.
Barry: Pélé.
Sam: Spider-Man.
Barry: Liberace.
Sam: Crap, I can't think of any more.
Sam Axe: Like Charo.
Barry: Sting.
Sam: Fergie.
Barry: Pélé.
Sam: Spider-Man.
Barry: Liberace.
Sam: Crap, I can't think of any more.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] The thing about security is that the very things that protect you can be turned against you by someone who knows what he's doing. It's tough to compromise a well thought-out security system, but making someone think you can compromise it, well, that's much easier. Take surveillance cameras, for example: you can disable one by shooting a laser at it and overloading the light sensitive chip. Cheap, easy, and exactly the sort of thing a sophisticated criminal gang with lots of resources would do. Leave around some tell-tale signs of surveillance like cigarette butts, a forgotten camera lens cap and the more security there is, the more likely they are to think they've got a very serious problem. Even the security team itself can be an opportunity. The more employees you have, the more you have to worry about them. Deliver some vague threats and a few hundred bucks to a security guard. If he's honest he'll tell his boss, who then wonders who wasn't so honest. For the cost of a nice dinner you can get a whole security team canned.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Fiona Glenanne: I know a few Iranians who are coming into town.
Michael : Oh, let's avoid people who use "Michael Westen" and "jihad" in the same sentence.
Michael : Oh, let's avoid people who use "Michael Westen" and "jihad" in the same sentence.
TV Show: Burn Notice
Michael: [V.O.] Rescuing a hostage isn't about battering rams and guns. Charge through a door with a gun and chances are the person you're trying to save will be the first one lying on the floor dying of acute lead poisoning. So you come up with alternatives: ingredients from the local pharmacy, mixed with aluminum foil, powdered in a coffee grinder will make a serviceable flash grenade that would stun anyone for a good 20 feet. Thermite is another handy tool: with a surface temperature of a thousand degrees, it's used to weld together railroad ties. It would make pretty short works of most locks too.
TV Show: Burn Notice