Castle Quotes
Richard Castle: [shocked] You suspected him too?
Kate Beckett: The husband? Duh.
Richard Castle: You know you would really clean up at my poker game.
Kate Beckett: Right. You, James Patterson and the rest of the New York Times' bestseller list? No, thank you, Castle. A little too rich for my blood.
Richard Castle: We could always make it strip poker.
Kate Beckett: Sorry, but I prefer mystery to horror.
Kate Beckett: The husband? Duh.
Richard Castle: You know you would really clean up at my poker game.
Kate Beckett: Right. You, James Patterson and the rest of the New York Times' bestseller list? No, thank you, Castle. A little too rich for my blood.
Richard Castle: We could always make it strip poker.
Kate Beckett: Sorry, but I prefer mystery to horror.
TV Show: Castle
Cassandra: Is that all you think you're worth?
Topaz Mortmain: It's what I have to make my mark.
Cassandra: You've made your mark with us! Thomas. And Rose. And me.
Topaz Mortmain: But I'm not your mother.
Topaz Mortmain: It's what I have to make my mark.
Cassandra: You've made your mark with us! Thomas. And Rose. And me.
Topaz Mortmain: But I'm not your mother.
TV Show: Castle
James Patterson: Castle, I'm kind of glad you killed off Storm. Less competition.
Richard Castle: Hmm.
James Patterson: That's twenty to you, Cannell.
Stephen J. Cannell: You're bluffing, Patterson.
James Patterson: Cough up some of that TV money and you'll find out. [Cannell throws a chip in the pot]
Stephen J. Cannell: Ahh, bet's to you, Ricky. [Castle doesn't respond]
Stephen J. Cannell: Castle. Castle.
Richard Castle: Hmm?
Stephen J. Cannell: Bet's to you.
Richard Castle: Oh, sorry.
James Patterson: I know that look. Story trouble.
Stephen J. Cannell: You know, you never should have killed off Storm. That was a big mistake. I would have retired him. Or crippled him. I mean, the man was money.
James Patterson: You don't see me putting a bullet through Alex Cross' head.
Stephen J. Cannell: And my boy Shane Scully's gonna be fueling my private jet long after people have all forgotten about Storm.
Richard Castle: Oh, you know what? Just for that, I am gonna call.
James Patterson: So what's the problem, Ricky? Maybe we can help.
Richard Castle: I'm working on this thing. It starts with a famous author. Some psycho starts staging murders like the way he does in his books.
Stephen J. Cannell: [laughs] That's pretty self-aggrandizing, isn't it?
James Patterson: This *is* Castle we're talking about.
Richard Castle: So, the crime scenes are clean. Doesn't leave any fingerprints, doesn't leav
Richard Castle: Hmm.
James Patterson: That's twenty to you, Cannell.
Stephen J. Cannell: You're bluffing, Patterson.
James Patterson: Cough up some of that TV money and you'll find out. [Cannell throws a chip in the pot]
Stephen J. Cannell: Ahh, bet's to you, Ricky. [Castle doesn't respond]
Stephen J. Cannell: Castle. Castle.
Richard Castle: Hmm?
Stephen J. Cannell: Bet's to you.
Richard Castle: Oh, sorry.
James Patterson: I know that look. Story trouble.
Stephen J. Cannell: You know, you never should have killed off Storm. That was a big mistake. I would have retired him. Or crippled him. I mean, the man was money.
James Patterson: You don't see me putting a bullet through Alex Cross' head.
Stephen J. Cannell: And my boy Shane Scully's gonna be fueling my private jet long after people have all forgotten about Storm.
Richard Castle: Oh, you know what? Just for that, I am gonna call.
James Patterson: So what's the problem, Ricky? Maybe we can help.
Richard Castle: I'm working on this thing. It starts with a famous author. Some psycho starts staging murders like the way he does in his books.
Stephen J. Cannell: [laughs] That's pretty self-aggrandizing, isn't it?
James Patterson: This *is* Castle we're talking about.
Richard Castle: So, the crime scenes are clean. Doesn't leave any fingerprints, doesn't leav
TV Show: Castle
Lanie Parish: But what I thought you might find really interesting is the fact that she had sex within the hours before her death.
Kate Beckett: Sex?
Richard Castle: I'll explain how that works later.
Lanie Parish: Might have even been within a few minutes of the murder. The heat from the dryer makes it hard to pinpoint.
Kate Beckett: So you're saying she was raped?
Lanie Parish: Hard to determine. There were no vaginal lacerations or the presence of any semen.
Kate Beckett: So what's the evidence of sex?
Lanie Parish: Traces of spermicide.
Kate Beckett: [looks confused]
Lanie Parish: The guy wore a condom.
Richard Castle: Boy, it really has been a long time for you, hasn't it?
Kate Beckett: Sex?
Richard Castle: I'll explain how that works later.
Lanie Parish: Might have even been within a few minutes of the murder. The heat from the dryer makes it hard to pinpoint.
Kate Beckett: So you're saying she was raped?
Lanie Parish: Hard to determine. There were no vaginal lacerations or the presence of any semen.
Kate Beckett: So what's the evidence of sex?
Lanie Parish: Traces of spermicide.
Kate Beckett: [looks confused]
Lanie Parish: The guy wore a condom.
Richard Castle: Boy, it really has been a long time for you, hasn't it?
TV Show: Castle
Castle: What?
Beckett: Nothing... it's just I'm so used to seeing you act like a 12-year-old all the time, it's refreshing to see you as a father.
Castle: It makes you want me, right?
Beckett: ...And there's the 12-year-old again.
Beckett: Nothing... it's just I'm so used to seeing you act like a 12-year-old all the time, it's refreshing to see you as a father.
Castle: It makes you want me, right?
Beckett: ...And there's the 12-year-old again.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: CIA’s a popular theory with you.
Castle: Yes, well, law of averages demands that I’ll eventually be right.
Beckett: I’d forgotten how helpful your insights can be.
Castle: Yes, well, law of averages demands that I’ll eventually be right.
Beckett: I’d forgotten how helpful your insights can be.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: Why is it so important to you that I believe all this stuff about fates and psychics and Santa Claus?
Castle: Because if you don't believe in even the possibility of magic, you'll never ever find it.
Castle: Because if you don't believe in even the possibility of magic, you'll never ever find it.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: So you don’t believe in fate, but your gut has magical properties. That’s cool. Scully.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: This place looks like my first apartment. We used to have cockroach races. I wonder if that's how Kafka got the idea?
TV Show: Castle
Ryan: [pointing to inscription on Castle's book] From the library of Katherine Beckett.
Beckett: Do you have a problem with reading, Ryan?
Esposito: Yo, check it, girl, you're totally a fan!
Beckett: Right? Of the genre?
Ryan: Right, the genre, that's why you're blushing.
Beckett: What are you, twelve?
Beckett: Do you have a problem with reading, Ryan?
Esposito: Yo, check it, girl, you're totally a fan!
Beckett: Right? Of the genre?
Ryan: Right, the genre, that's why you're blushing.
Beckett: What are you, twelve?
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [to his daughter Alexis] I just want someone to like come up to me and say something new.
Beckett: Mr. Castle?
Castle: [turning around holding a pen ready to give an autograph] Where would you like it?
Beckett: [holding badge] Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
Alexis: [taking the pen from him] That's new.
Beckett: Mr. Castle?
Castle: [turning around holding a pen ready to give an autograph] Where would you like it?
Beckett: [holding badge] Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight.
Alexis: [taking the pen from him] That's new.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [to Beckett] Well, you're not bridge and tunnel. No trace of the boroughs when you talk, so that means Manhattan, that means money. You went to college, probably a pretty good one. You had options. Yeah, you had lots of options, better options, more socially acceptable options, and you still chose this. That tells me something happened. Not to you. No, you're wounded, but you're not that wounded. No, it was somebody you cared about. It was someone you loved. [realizing he's overstepped] And you probably could have lived with that, but the person responsible was never caught. And that, Detective Beckett, is why you're here.
Beckett: Cute trick. Don't think you know me.
Castle: [hesitant] The point is, there's always a story... you just have to find it.
Beckett: Cute trick. Don't think you know me.
Castle: [hesitant] The point is, there's always a story... you just have to find it.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: Half of the guys are waiting for prints. You don't just jump the line.
Castle: Oh, I think somebody feels threatened.
Beckett: I'm not threatened.
Castle: No, no, I get it. I can call the mayor and you can't.
Beckett: We have procedure. Protocol.
Castle: Yeah, and you always come to a complete stop at a red light and you never fudge your taxes. Tell me something: do you ever have any fun? Let your hair down? Drop your top? A little "cops gone wild"?
Beckett: You do know that I'm wearing a gun?
Castle: Oh, I think somebody feels threatened.
Beckett: I'm not threatened.
Castle: No, no, I get it. I can call the mayor and you can't.
Beckett: We have procedure. Protocol.
Castle: Yeah, and you always come to a complete stop at a red light and you never fudge your taxes. Tell me something: do you ever have any fun? Let your hair down? Drop your top? A little "cops gone wild"?
Beckett: You do know that I'm wearing a gun?
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: You wanted to see me, sir?
Montgomery: Yeah. I just got a call from the mayor's office. Apparently, you have a fan.
Beckett: A fan, sir?
Montgomery: Rick Castle. Seems he's found the main character for his next set of novels: a tough but savvy female detective.
Beckett: ... I'm flattered?
Montgomery: Don't be. He says he has to do research.
Beckett: Oh no.
Montgomery: Oh yes.
Beckett: No way.
Montgomery: Beckett, listen.
Beckett: Sir, he is like a nine-year-old on a sugar rush, totally incapable of taking anything seriously.
Montgomery: But he did help solve this case. And when the mayor's happy, the commissioner's happy. And when the commissioner's happy, I'm happy.
Beckett: How long, sir?
Montgomery: [motioning to his door] It's up to him.
[Beckett turns to find Castle standing in the doorway, smirking]
Montgomery: Yeah. I just got a call from the mayor's office. Apparently, you have a fan.
Beckett: A fan, sir?
Montgomery: Rick Castle. Seems he's found the main character for his next set of novels: a tough but savvy female detective.
Beckett: ... I'm flattered?
Montgomery: Don't be. He says he has to do research.
Beckett: Oh no.
Montgomery: Oh yes.
Beckett: No way.
Montgomery: Beckett, listen.
Beckett: Sir, he is like a nine-year-old on a sugar rush, totally incapable of taking anything seriously.
Montgomery: But he did help solve this case. And when the mayor's happy, the commissioner's happy. And when the commissioner's happy, I'm happy.
Beckett: How long, sir?
Montgomery: [motioning to his door] It's up to him.
[Beckett turns to find Castle standing in the doorway, smirking]
TV Show: Castle
Castle: Three men huddled around a computer... that better not be porn. And if it is, I want in.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: Well, apparently, in an actual homicide, they don't know who did it until the guy gets caught.
TV Show: Castle
Police rep: Mr. Castle, be advised: if you get injured following Detective Beckett to research your next novel, you cannot sue the city. If you get shot, you cannot sue the city. If you get killed...
Castle: My lifeless remains cannot sue the city?
Castle: My lifeless remains cannot sue the city?
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: Mrs. Peterson? Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about Sarah Manning.
Mrs. Peterson: Of course. Please come in.
Beckett: Thank you.
Castle: Richard Castle, just... N.Y.
Mrs. Peterson: Of course. Please come in.
Beckett: Thank you.
Castle: Richard Castle, just... N.Y.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [his murder theory] You see him every day, only you never notice him. But he noticed Sara. She's young, beautiful, the kind of girl that a guy like him would never have a chance with. We all know girls like that don't we? Well, at first, it's just a game. Figure out her schedule. When does she do her laundry? When is she alone? Until it becomes something more, something that he can't control. Well, he uses the stairs, obviously, to avoid the elevator's cameras. And then he just waits, concealed in the shadows. When she comes into that laundry room, he pounces. When he looked into her vacant, lifeless eyes, he wanted to tell her he never meant to kill her. All he ever wanted was to be noticed. That's when he felt the heat of that dryer on his skin. So he picks up her limp body in his arms and gently places it inside. He almost smiled at his good fortune when he found the quarter in his pocket, slipping it into the slot. Buying him the time to do what he does best... disappear.
[pauses, then continues] Just saying, better story. Coffee?
[pauses, then continues] Just saying, better story. Coffee?
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [after getting pinched on the ear by Beckett because he was listening to her phonecall] Next time, put it on speakerphone.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: Reading the paper? You are going to lose all of your wired teen hyper texting nano gizmo street cred.
Alexis: I'm a rebel. I like it old school.
Alexis: I'm a rebel. I like it old school.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: [interrogating a suspect] Witnesses don't place you in the club until one in the morning, and Horn was murdered between eleven and twelve.
Castle: [watching Beckett from behind one-way glass] Here it comes, and...
Beckett: So, where were you between eleven and twelve, Mr. Creason?
Castle: Booyah.
Creason: I was asleep.
Castle: Asleep!? You are lame! [heard from other side of glass]You are so lame! You're a lamey, McLamester! You're so l-l-l-[back in room] LAME!
Castle: [watching Beckett from behind one-way glass] Here it comes, and...
Beckett: So, where were you between eleven and twelve, Mr. Creason?
Castle: Booyah.
Creason: I was asleep.
Castle: Asleep!? You are lame! [heard from other side of glass]You are so lame! You're a lamey, McLamester! You're so l-l-l-[back in room] LAME!
TV Show: Castle
Castle: [describing his character based on Beckett] She's going to be really smart, very savvy, haunting good looks, really good at her job...and kinda slutty.
TV Show: Castle
Ryan: You're telling me you've lived in New York your whole life, and you've never scored a piece of roadkill?
Esposito: "Roadkill?"
Ryan: It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. Artists, students, former hedge-fund managers... it's trickle-down economics at its finest.
Esposito: Yeah, well I prefer not to be trickled on.
Ryan: ...you know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?
Esposito: Don't you say it, bro.
Ryan: 54th and Lex.
Esposito: That's gross. Gross. We are never playing Madden at your place again.
Esposito: "Roadkill?"
Ryan: It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. Artists, students, former hedge-fund managers... it's trickle-down economics at its finest.
Esposito: Yeah, well I prefer not to be trickled on.
Ryan: ...you know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?
Esposito: Don't you say it, bro.
Ryan: 54th and Lex.
Esposito: That's gross. Gross. We are never playing Madden at your place again.
TV Show: Castle
Lanie: Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer boy?
Beckett: What? He is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-
Lanie: Fun. And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. I mean, how bad can he be?
Beckett: [answers phone] Beckett.
Castle: [excitedly] Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!
Beckett: What? He is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-
Lanie: Fun. And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. I mean, how bad can he be?
Beckett: [answers phone] Beckett.
Castle: [excitedly] Guess who's got a date with a prostitute!
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: What kind of a name is "Nikki Heat"?
Castle: A cop name.
Beckett: It's a stripper name.
Castle: Well, I told you she was kind of slutty.
Beckett: Change it, Castle.
Castle: Wait. Hang on a second. Think of the titles. "Summer Heat", "Heat Wave", "In Heat"...
Beckett: Change the name!
Castle: A cop name.
Beckett: It's a stripper name.
Castle: Well, I told you she was kind of slutty.
Beckett: Change it, Castle.
Castle: Wait. Hang on a second. Think of the titles. "Summer Heat", "Heat Wave", "In Heat"...
Beckett: Change the name!
TV Show: Castle