Castle Quotes
[Natalie walks in dressed up as Beckett, with a brunette wig and similar suit. Castle's and Beckett's jaws drop.]
Castle: Just like I dreamed it! [They both stare at him] Did I say that out-loud?
Castle: Just like I dreamed it! [They both stare at him] Did I say that out-loud?
TV Show: Castle
Natalie: Is Castle gay?
Beckett: [So shocked that she spits out her coffee] I'm sorry, what? No. No!
Natalie: Then you two are an item, but you're sworn to secrecy, right?
Beckett: No, we are not an item. Why?
Natalie: [Sighs] Last night I invited him back to my place. And he said something to me I have never heard from a man before.
Beckett: What?
Natalie: "No."
Beckett: [Raises her eyebrows] No?
Natalie: I don't get it! He's into you, but you're determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him. So he fantasizes about you through his writing. It's literally verbal masturbation.
Beckett: Uh—okay, so what does this have to do with me?
Natalie: [Indicates her "Beckett costume"] I am not wearing this getup for my health. You're Nikki Heat, he's Jamison Rook. I need to sleep with him in the name of character research. Can you talk to him?
Beckett: And say what?
Natalie: [Shrugs] I dunno, give him permission or something.
[Beckett is momentarily speechless]
Beckett: I have to go. Over there. [She disappears in a random direction]
Beckett: [So shocked that she spits out her coffee] I'm sorry, what? No. No!
Natalie: Then you two are an item, but you're sworn to secrecy, right?
Beckett: No, we are not an item. Why?
Natalie: [Sighs] Last night I invited him back to my place. And he said something to me I have never heard from a man before.
Beckett: What?
Natalie: "No."
Beckett: [Raises her eyebrows] No?
Natalie: I don't get it! He's into you, but you're determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him. So he fantasizes about you through his writing. It's literally verbal masturbation.
Beckett: Uh—okay, so what does this have to do with me?
Natalie: [Indicates her "Beckett costume"] I am not wearing this getup for my health. You're Nikki Heat, he's Jamison Rook. I need to sleep with him in the name of character research. Can you talk to him?
Beckett: And say what?
Natalie: [Shrugs] I dunno, give him permission or something.
[Beckett is momentarily speechless]
Beckett: I have to go. Over there. [She disappears in a random direction]
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: [Watching Natalie at the murder board] Do I really do that?
Castle: Yes, and it's adorable.
Beckett: If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? [Castle looks momentarily puzzled] Her me, not me me.
Castle: Oh, well a fictional character that I wrote, based on you, played by Natalie Rhodes? It's just way too... meta.
Castle: Yes, and it's adorable.
Beckett: If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? [Castle looks momentarily puzzled] Her me, not me me.
Castle: Oh, well a fictional character that I wrote, based on you, played by Natalie Rhodes? It's just way too... meta.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: I never pegged you for a magic fan. You know any good tricks?
Beckett: I do this one thing... with ice cubes.
Beckett: I do this one thing... with ice cubes.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: I wonder how Zalman did it. Must’ve whipped something from Jerome’s pocket with a receipt for his weekend of sin.
Beckett: Like this? (Holds up Castle’s phone.)
Castle: (Gasps.) You had your hand in my pocket and I didn’t even feel it? Do it again.
Beckett: Like this? (Holds up Castle’s phone.)
Castle: (Gasps.) You had your hand in my pocket and I didn’t even feel it? Do it again.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: [To a suspect who is also a street magician] We need to talk to you about Zalman Drake.
Chuck: Abracadabra. [throws smoke bomb at his feet, vanishes]
Beckett: [Opens the lid of the platform he was standing on, pulls him out] Alakazam, jackass.
Chuck: Abracadabra. [throws smoke bomb at his feet, vanishes]
Beckett: [Opens the lid of the platform he was standing on, pulls him out] Alakazam, jackass.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: So where’s Esposito?
Ryan: Ha, take a wild guess.
Beckett & Castle: Lanie.
Ryan: Can’t believe they still think that none of us know.
Castle: Well, let’s let em keep thinking that a while longer. The bubble bursts soon enough.
Beckett: Not if you’re in it with the right person.
Ryan: Ha, take a wild guess.
Beckett & Castle: Lanie.
Ryan: Can’t believe they still think that none of us know.
Castle: Well, let’s let em keep thinking that a while longer. The bubble bursts soon enough.
Beckett: Not if you’re in it with the right person.
TV Show: Castle
Raglan: [Indicates Castle] Lady, what part of "no cops" did you not understand?
Beckett: He's not a cop.
Raglan: Well, who the hell is he, then?
Beckett: Someone I trust.
Beckett: He's not a cop.
Raglan: Well, who the hell is he, then?
Beckett: Someone I trust.
TV Show: Castle
Martha: I Heard about the shooting on the news. Could have been you. You know that, don't you?
Castle: Yeah, but I'm fine, wasn't me.
Martha: Richard, this isn't one of your books, you don't know the ending! You were just lucky yesterday.
Castle: [Somewhat nonchalant] You're overreacting, mother. Where is this coming from?
Martha: [Shocked and furious at his flippant attitude] How the hell can you ask me something like that? Think about how much you love Alexis, and that is how much I love you, and don't you dare ask me where this is coming from! You have gotten through most of life on your wit, and charm and no small amount of talent. But that is the real world out there, and you can't charm your way out of a bullet.
Castle: You think I should quit?
Martha: I think you should be honest with yourself about why you're doing this. You had written 22 novels before you met her, and you didn't need to spend every day in a police station in order to finish them.
Castle: It's not about the books anymore.
Castle: Yeah, but I'm fine, wasn't me.
Martha: Richard, this isn't one of your books, you don't know the ending! You were just lucky yesterday.
Castle: [Somewhat nonchalant] You're overreacting, mother. Where is this coming from?
Martha: [Shocked and furious at his flippant attitude] How the hell can you ask me something like that? Think about how much you love Alexis, and that is how much I love you, and don't you dare ask me where this is coming from! You have gotten through most of life on your wit, and charm and no small amount of talent. But that is the real world out there, and you can't charm your way out of a bullet.
Castle: You think I should quit?
Martha: I think you should be honest with yourself about why you're doing this. You had written 22 novels before you met her, and you didn't need to spend every day in a police station in order to finish them.
Castle: It's not about the books anymore.
TV Show: Castle
Simmons: You painted since the last time i was here. You'd have been about 16 wrestling some pimply kid in the back of his daddy's wagon. Wondering if you were gonna give it to him or not.
Castle: Hey that's enough!
Simmons: He's sweet on you. Makes him brave.
Castle: Hey that's enough!
Simmons: He's sweet on you. Makes him brave.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: There is no statute of limitations on murder Mr. Simmons.
Simmons: And here begins what is known as the initial confrontation. During this phase of the interrogation the interrogator may invade the suspect's personal space in order to increase his discomfort. You want to invade my personal space?
Beckett: Look at me. 12 years ago Johanna Beckett lead a big take back the neighborhood campaign in Washington Heights.
Castle: That musta pissed you off.
Simmons: And this would be theme development. Presenting the crime through the eyes of the suspect.
Beckett: Johanna Beckett was murdered, along with two of her colleagues. They were professional hits, carried out on your orders and you had your pet homicide detective John Raglan bury them. Look at her face. Tell me you don’t remember her.
Simmons: You know Detective Beckett, I think I do remember her. Bled out in an alley like the trash she was.
Beckett: Mr. Simmons, you’d better watch it…
Simmons: Rich bitch from uptown on safari in the Heights. Somebody should’ve warned her not to feed or tease the animals.
Beckett: You…
Simmons: If they had, she might not have gotten eaten. From what I hear though, she was pretty tasty.
Beckett: Ah!
Castle: Woah, Beckett!
Beckett: Back off Castle! Remember your old life Vulcan. Savour it. Because I am gonna take it all away.
Simmons: And here begins what is known as the initial confrontation. During this phase of the interrogation the interrogator may invade the suspect's personal space in order to increase his discomfort. You want to invade my personal space?
Beckett: Look at me. 12 years ago Johanna Beckett lead a big take back the neighborhood campaign in Washington Heights.
Castle: That musta pissed you off.
Simmons: And this would be theme development. Presenting the crime through the eyes of the suspect.
Beckett: Johanna Beckett was murdered, along with two of her colleagues. They were professional hits, carried out on your orders and you had your pet homicide detective John Raglan bury them. Look at her face. Tell me you don’t remember her.
Simmons: You know Detective Beckett, I think I do remember her. Bled out in an alley like the trash she was.
Beckett: Mr. Simmons, you’d better watch it…
Simmons: Rich bitch from uptown on safari in the Heights. Somebody should’ve warned her not to feed or tease the animals.
Beckett: You…
Simmons: If they had, she might not have gotten eaten. From what I hear though, she was pretty tasty.
Beckett: Ah!
Castle: Woah, Beckett!
Beckett: Back off Castle! Remember your old life Vulcan. Savour it. Because I am gonna take it all away.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: Castle, there's something I need you to do
Castle: Name it.
Beckett: Go home.
Castle: Forget it. Fear does not exist in this dojo.
Beckett: Look, I signed up for this when I put that badge on, you didn't. It's not your fight.
Castle: [Suddenly incensed] The hell it isn't! [Calmer, but completely serious] I don't hang around you just to annoy you, I don't ride off to murder scenes in the middle of the night just to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that was all this was I would've quit a long time ago.
Beckett]: Well, then, why do you keep coming back, Rick?
Castle: [Swallows] Look, I may not have a badge—unless you count the chocolate one Alexis gave me for my birthday—but I'll tell you this: like it or not, I'm your plucky sidekick.
Beckett: Plucky sidekick always gets killed.
Castle: Partner, then.
Beckett: Okay.
Castle: Name it.
Beckett: Go home.
Castle: Forget it. Fear does not exist in this dojo.
Beckett: Look, I signed up for this when I put that badge on, you didn't. It's not your fight.
Castle: [Suddenly incensed] The hell it isn't! [Calmer, but completely serious] I don't hang around you just to annoy you, I don't ride off to murder scenes in the middle of the night just to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that was all this was I would've quit a long time ago.
Beckett]: Well, then, why do you keep coming back, Rick?
Castle: [Swallows] Look, I may not have a badge—unless you count the chocolate one Alexis gave me for my birthday—but I'll tell you this: like it or not, I'm your plucky sidekick.
Beckett: Plucky sidekick always gets killed.
Castle: Partner, then.
Beckett: Okay.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: There was, uh, a lawyer named Johanna Beckett, Are you familiar with her? She was murdered in the alley about seven years into your incarceration.
Pulgatti: [Wistfully] You look just like her, you know. When you first walked in here, it was like I was looking at a ghost. The way she talked about you, I should've known you'd become a cop. I sent letters to every lawyer I could find, and your mother was the only one who wrote me back, the only one willing to take a chance on me. She didn't care that I was a thug.
Beckett: [Smiles weakly] All she cared about was the truth
Pulgatti: [Wistfully] You look just like her, you know. When you first walked in here, it was like I was looking at a ghost. The way she talked about you, I should've known you'd become a cop. I sent letters to every lawyer I could find, and your mother was the only one who wrote me back, the only one willing to take a chance on me. She didn't care that I was a thug.
Beckett: [Smiles weakly] All she cared about was the truth
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: How’s the hand?
Castle: Uh, excruciating. How’s Ryan and Esposito?
Beckett: Hmm. Mild hypothermia. Wounded pride. Guess which one’ll heal first. [She finishes bandaging.] Thank you. For having my back in there.
Castle: Always.
Castle: Uh, excruciating. How’s Ryan and Esposito?
Beckett: Hmm. Mild hypothermia. Wounded pride. Guess which one’ll heal first. [She finishes bandaging.] Thank you. For having my back in there.
Castle: Always.
TV Show: Castle
Montgomery: You really think she (Bridget McManus) could overpower Zack (Zack Lindsey)?
Ryan: Uh, no, but her brothers could. In grand Irish tradition, she has four of them, each over 6 foot, each with his own claim to fame... Assaults...
Castle: Oh.
Ryan: Ag. Assault...
Castle: Bad.
Ryan: A.D.W.,
Castle: Ee.
Ryan: Battery...
Castle: Mm.
Ryan: Assault on a city employee, parking enforcement.
Castle: Doesn't count.
Montgomery: Easy.
Ryan: Dude.
Castle: I... just jokes.
Ryan: Uh, no, but her brothers could. In grand Irish tradition, she has four of them, each over 6 foot, each with his own claim to fame... Assaults...
Castle: Oh.
Ryan: Ag. Assault...
Castle: Bad.
Ryan: A.D.W.,
Castle: Ee.
Ryan: Battery...
Castle: Mm.
Ryan: Assault on a city employee, parking enforcement.
Castle: Doesn't count.
Montgomery: Easy.
Ryan: Dude.
Castle: I... just jokes.
TV Show: Castle
Castle: He wants to learn more about my writing process.
Martha: And by "writing process" you mean your procrastination until the very last second...
Alexis: And then writing out of a desperate panic in a caffeine-induced haze.
Martha: That one?
Castle: No, not that one. [Alexis giggles] The one where I find authenticity by doing hands-on research with the NYPD.
Martha: And by "writing process" you mean your procrastination until the very last second...
Alexis: And then writing out of a desperate panic in a caffeine-induced haze.
Martha: That one?
Castle: No, not that one. [Alexis giggles] The one where I find authenticity by doing hands-on research with the NYPD.
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: For all we know, Bridget was lying.
Ryan: [Walks in, looking vaguely disheveled] Well, she wasn't lying about her brothers. Talked to all four of them, one Irishman to another... and another. Anyway, they alibied out, they were in New Paults when Zach was killed.
Becket: All of them? [Ryan nods] For what?
Ryan: [Furtively] They were at a sporting event, of sorts. [Starts to leave]
Becket: [Stopping him] Which was...?
Ryan: Leprechaun toss. [Esposito smirks] Don't ask! Anyway, the, uh, older brother, he got first place. [Realizes his jacket sleeve is torn] Aww, man!
Castle: Well, the "merits" of Irish culture aside...
Ryan: Hey!
Castle: Sorry. Perhaps this suggests Bridget was telling the truth about our elusive Estonian.
Ryan: [Walks in, looking vaguely disheveled] Well, she wasn't lying about her brothers. Talked to all four of them, one Irishman to another... and another. Anyway, they alibied out, they were in New Paults when Zach was killed.
Becket: All of them? [Ryan nods] For what?
Ryan: [Furtively] They were at a sporting event, of sorts. [Starts to leave]
Becket: [Stopping him] Which was...?
Ryan: Leprechaun toss. [Esposito smirks] Don't ask! Anyway, the, uh, older brother, he got first place. [Realizes his jacket sleeve is torn] Aww, man!
Castle: Well, the "merits" of Irish culture aside...
Ryan: Hey!
Castle: Sorry. Perhaps this suggests Bridget was telling the truth about our elusive Estonian.
TV Show: Castle
Alex Conrad: Hey, uh, if it's not overstepping, just in the interest of keeping it real, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for the case I'm coming up with for Seriously Dead.
Becket: [Hands him her card] Why don't you just give me a buzz when the two of you are done.
Conrad: [To Castle] I mean, if it's okay with you.
Castle: [Glares at Beckett] Why wouldn't it be okay?
Becket: Okay.
Conrad: Okay.
[Cut to Castle at home with Martha and Alexis]
Castle: It's so not okay! After everything I've done for him, he goes and tries to steal my muse!
Alexis: Muse thievery, what's the punishment for that? Five to ten in mythology jail?
Becket: [Hands him her card] Why don't you just give me a buzz when the two of you are done.
Conrad: [To Castle] I mean, if it's okay with you.
Castle: [Glares at Beckett] Why wouldn't it be okay?
Becket: Okay.
Conrad: Okay.
[Cut to Castle at home with Martha and Alexis]
Castle: It's so not okay! After everything I've done for him, he goes and tries to steal my muse!
Alexis: Muse thievery, what's the punishment for that? Five to ten in mythology jail?
TV Show: Castle
Beckett: Yeah, speaking of mentor, I heard that you guys were pretty hard on Conrad last night.
Castle: Hard on him? No, no, it was just a little friendly hazing.
Beckett: To hear him describe it, it sounds like someone was trying to teach him a lesson.
Castle: [Laughs in a forced manner] What? Why would I want to do that?
Beckett: Because you didn't want him to spend time with me?
Castle: That is completely-
Beckett: True?
Castle: [Drops his false humour] Yes. Fine, it's true. I'm jealous. There, I said it. I-I want you all to myself, and to have you spending time with another writer? That upsets me! And if that makes me petty, so be it. Guilty as charged.
Beckett: [Smiles] Actually, I kinda think it's sweet.
Castle: You do?
Beckett: I do. And that's why you don't have to worry about me hanging around with Conrad anymore. From now on I'm a "one writer" girl.
Castle: Hard on him? No, no, it was just a little friendly hazing.
Beckett: To hear him describe it, it sounds like someone was trying to teach him a lesson.
Castle: [Laughs in a forced manner] What? Why would I want to do that?
Beckett: Because you didn't want him to spend time with me?
Castle: That is completely-
Beckett: True?
Castle: [Drops his false humour] Yes. Fine, it's true. I'm jealous. There, I said it. I-I want you all to myself, and to have you spending time with another writer? That upsets me! And if that makes me petty, so be it. Guilty as charged.
Beckett: [Smiles] Actually, I kinda think it's sweet.
Castle: You do?
Beckett: I do. And that's why you don't have to worry about me hanging around with Conrad anymore. From now on I'm a "one writer" girl.
TV Show: Castle
[repeated season 2 episode open]
Richard Castle: [v.o] There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. Who am I?
Richard Castle: I'm Rick Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?
Richard Castle: [v.o] Every writer needs inspiration, and I found mine.
Kate Beckett: Detective Kate Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Nikki Heat?
Martha Rodgers: The character he's basing on you.
Richard Castle: [v.o] And thanks to my friendship with the Mayor, I get to be on her case.
Richard Castle: I'd be happy to let you spank me.
Richard Castle: [v.o] And together we catch killers.
Richard Castle: We make a pretty good team, you know. Like Starsky and Hutch, Turner and Hooch.
Kate Beckett: You do remind me a little of Hooch.
Richard Castle: [v.o] There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. Who am I?
Richard Castle: I'm Rick Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?
Richard Castle: [v.o] Every writer needs inspiration, and I found mine.
Kate Beckett: Detective Kate Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Nikki Heat?
Martha Rodgers: The character he's basing on you.
Richard Castle: [v.o] And thanks to my friendship with the Mayor, I get to be on her case.
Richard Castle: I'd be happy to let you spank me.
Richard Castle: [v.o] And together we catch killers.
Richard Castle: We make a pretty good team, you know. Like Starsky and Hutch, Turner and Hooch.
Kate Beckett: You do remind me a little of Hooch.
TV Show: Castle
[repeated season 3 open]
Richard Castle: [v.o] There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. Who am I?
Richard Castle: I'm Rick Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?
Richard Castle: [v.o] Every writer needs inspiration, and I found mine.
Kate Beckett: I'm Detective Kate Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Beckett.
Ilya: Aah!
Richard Castle: Beckett?
Kate Beckett: [restraining suspect] Could you get some backup, please?
Richard Castle: [v.o] And thanks to my friendship with the Mayor, I get to be on her case.
Kate Beckett: [caught searching Castle's book in a bathroom stall by Castle] Oh!
Richard Castle: Do I look like a killer to you?
Kate Beckett: Yes; you kill my patience.
Richard Castle: [v.o] And together we catch killers.
Kate Beckett: I *hate* this case.
Richard Castle: I know! Isn't it great?
Richard Castle: [v.o] There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. Who am I?
Richard Castle: I'm Rick Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: Castle.
Richard Castle: I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?
Richard Castle: [v.o] Every writer needs inspiration, and I found mine.
Kate Beckett: I'm Detective Kate Beckett.
Kate Beckett: Beckett.
Ilya: Aah!
Richard Castle: Beckett?
Kate Beckett: [restraining suspect] Could you get some backup, please?
Richard Castle: [v.o] And thanks to my friendship with the Mayor, I get to be on her case.
Kate Beckett: [caught searching Castle's book in a bathroom stall by Castle] Oh!
Richard Castle: Do I look like a killer to you?
Kate Beckett: Yes; you kill my patience.
Richard Castle: [v.o] And together we catch killers.
Kate Beckett: I *hate* this case.
Richard Castle: I know! Isn't it great?
TV Show: Castle