Chappelle's Show Quotes
Rapper: I battle any sex or any race / You beating me is like Billy Crystal playin Scarface / I can't see it, I'm blind to the eyes / I came up in your face - oops, pow, surprise! Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Movie: Chappelle's Show
Rick James: DRINK UP, BE MERRY! Welcome to the China Club - A-CHUNGA-CHUNG-KUNG-A-CHINGA-KUNG-KAW-CHING!
Movie: Chappelle's Show
Tron: Hey, it's white boy, ok who ordered the pizza. Hey white boy find the square root of this room.
Movie: Chappelle's Show
[Clayton Bigsby's truck pulls up next to a group of white kids listening to rap]
Clayton Bigsby: Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!
Hip-Hop Fan: Did he just call us niggers?... AWESOME!
Clayton Bigsby: Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!
Hip-Hop Fan: Did he just call us niggers?... AWESOME!
Movie: Chappelle's Show
[jury selection for the Michael Jackson trial]
Prosecutor: You know, he's been accused of this before.
Dave Chappelle: So? Some people say the cucumbers taste better pickled.
Prosecutor: What?
Dave Chappelle: Huh?
Prosecutor: What?
Dave Chappelle: Huh?
Prosecutor: You know, he's been accused of this before.
Dave Chappelle: So? Some people say the cucumbers taste better pickled.
Prosecutor: What?
Dave Chappelle: Huh?
Prosecutor: What?
Dave Chappelle: Huh?
Movie: Chappelle's Show
Chad: Tyree, you stabbed my dad! And you had sex with Katie.Tyree: Hey man, you got that all wrong. I ain't have sex with Katie. LYSOL had sex with Katie, I just filmed it.Katie: No, Tyree. You had sex with me too!Tyree: Correction. I had sex Katie too, man. (to the camera: ) Don't give up, Stinky! Katie's got some big ass tittays.
TV Show: Chappelle's Show
Silky Johnston: Uh-oh, fellas! Looks as though we have company.Slave master: What the hell are you niggers doing out here?Silky Johnston: We are the Time Haters. We travelled all the way back through time... to call yuh a cracker.Slave master: You better watch your mouth.Buck Nasty: Actually you better watch your mouth white boy, before I shove these gators up your ass and show yo' insides some style.Slave master: ENOUGH!
Buck Nasty: Look Silky, he done pulled out a whip.Silky Johnston: Nice whip. This here is a pistol. Reach for the sky, honky!Slave: Honky? HONKY?Silky Johnston: "Honky" is a racial epithet used for white people. It was made popular by a man named George Jefferson in the 1970s. You see, he and his wife, Weezie, owned a dry-cleaning business, so they moved on up to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. They finally got a piece of the pie. Convoluted story I'll admit, but the point is this... that in the future, all black people will be FREE!Slave: When's we gonna be free?Silky Johnston: That is a good question my man. How about now-ish?
Buck Nasty: Look Silky, he done pulled out a whip.Silky Johnston: Nice whip. This here is a pistol. Reach for the sky, honky!Slave: Honky? HONKY?Silky Johnston: "Honky" is a racial epithet used for white people. It was made popular by a man named George Jefferson in the 1970s. You see, he and his wife, Weezie, owned a dry-cleaning business, so they moved on up to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky. They finally got a piece of the pie. Convoluted story I'll admit, but the point is this... that in the future, all black people will be FREE!Slave: When's we gonna be free?Silky Johnston: That is a good question my man. How about now-ish?
TV Show: Chappelle's Show
Wayne Brady: I make Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X, huh, motherfucker?
Wayne Brady: Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?
Wayne Brady: Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?
TV Show: Chappelle's Show
Bush: After carefully examining the region me and my cabinet agree that that area is definitely ripe for regime change...but if I can be real about it?Ashcroft: Be real, son.Bush: Real?Ashcroft: Yo be real real, son.Bush: He tried to kill my father, man. I don't play that shit!Ashcroft: Yo say word he tried to kill your father, son.Bush: (grabbing boom mike from above): THE NIGGA TRIED TO KILL MY FATHER!!
TV Show: Chappelle's Show
Bush: (referring to the UN) Sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh wait, that's right! You don't have an army! So I guess that means you've going to have to shut the fuck up!
TV Show: Chappelle's Show
Bush: I got a coalition of the willing. I got 40 nations ready to roll, son!Reporter: Like who?Bush: Who the fuck said that? Huh? Huh? Like who? England. Japan's sending Playstations. Stankonia said they are willing to drop bombs over Baghdad. Riggity Row is coming. Afrika Bambaataa and the Zulu Nation. So, I'm not doing this by myself, and I'm not disrespecting the UN, even though they don't got no army. Go sell some medicine, bitches! I'm trying to get that oil...[coughs, trying to cover up saying oil] hole!
TV Show: Chappelle's Show
Bush: (Asked about the war if it's about Oil) What? Huh? Oil? Who said anything about oil? Oil? Bitch you cooking or something? Oil?
TV Show: Chappelle's Show