Chappelles Show Quotes
Dave Chappelle: Welcome back to Chappelle Show, I still haven't been canceled yet but I'm workin' on it.
Movie: Chappelles Show
Paul Mooney: [reviewing "Barbershop"] You know that's just a front. They sell drugs at the barbershops.
Movie: Chappelles Show
[after Dylan attempted to choke Wyclef Jean]
P. Diddy: If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all ****ing day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time.
P. Diddy: If I had my way, I'd never work. I'd just stay home all day, watch Scarface 50 times, eat a turkey sandwich, and have sex all ****ing day. Then I'd dress up like a clown, and surprise kids at schools. Then I'd take a dump in the back of a movie theater, and just wait until somebody sat in it. Hear it squish. That's funny to me. Then I'd paint, and read, and play violin. I'd climb the mountains, and sing the songs that I like to sing. But I don't got that kinda time.
Movie: Chappelles Show
[singing]
Tron: There are! I say there are so many amendments in the constitution of the United States of Americaaaa! I can only choose one! I can only choose ooooooone! I plead the fif! I plead the fif! FIVE! 1,2,3,4, fiiiif! Anything you say! FIIIF! Go ahead and ask me a question!
Senator: How do...
Tron: Fif! I like to show all of you a secret document! [pulls out a piece of paper saying FiF]
Tron: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiif!
Tron: There are! I say there are so many amendments in the constitution of the United States of Americaaaa! I can only choose one! I can only choose ooooooone! I plead the fif! I plead the fif! FIVE! 1,2,3,4, fiiiif! Anything you say! FIIIF! Go ahead and ask me a question!
Senator: How do...
Tron: Fif! I like to show all of you a secret document! [pulls out a piece of paper saying FiF]
Tron: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiif!
Movie: Chappelles Show
[Clayton Bigsby's truck pulls up next to a group of white kids listening to rap]
Clayton Bigsby: Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!
Hip-Hop Fan: Did he just call us niggers?... AWESOME!
Clayton Bigsby: Hey, niggers! Turn that jungle music down! Woogie boogie, nigger! Woogie boogie!
Hip-Hop Fan: Did he just call us niggers?... AWESOME!
Movie: Chappelles Show