Cheers Quotes
Rebecca: Your husband came onto me at a local bar.
Valerie: Do you mean he propositioned you?
Rebecca: Well he didn't exactly proposition me.
Valerie: Well what exactly did he do?
Rebecca: He asked me about my feelings.
Valerie: That is his field you know.
Rebecca: That isn't all he did. He rubbed my leg with his disgusting foot.
Sam: [to maid] She never gets tired of telling this part.
Valerie: Do you mean he propositioned you?
Rebecca: Well he didn't exactly proposition me.
Valerie: Well what exactly did he do?
Rebecca: He asked me about my feelings.
Valerie: That is his field you know.
Rebecca: That isn't all he did. He rubbed my leg with his disgusting foot.
Sam: [to maid] She never gets tired of telling this part.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: You know it's quite remarkable. To float something as heavy as a wedge of lime, beer must have quite a high buoyancy factor.
Carla: So do your loafers.
Norm: Call me old-fashioned Cliff, but the only thing I like floating in my beer is my liver.
Carla: So do your loafers.
Norm: Call me old-fashioned Cliff, but the only thing I like floating in my beer is my liver.
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: Oh Frasier, Lilith excuse me. I know you're probably on your way somewhere.
Lilith: Yes, we are.
Frasier: But when aren't we?
Rebecca: It's just that I have this really bad problem. It's getting so bad that I can't even sleep at night.
Frasier: Well I'm sorry Rebecca, we do have this important lunch.
Rebecca: You see I've been having these erotic dreams.
Frasier: Well lunch be damned! Our friend is in need.
Lilith: Yes, we are.
Frasier: But when aren't we?
Rebecca: It's just that I have this really bad problem. It's getting so bad that I can't even sleep at night.
Frasier: Well I'm sorry Rebecca, we do have this important lunch.
Rebecca: You see I've been having these erotic dreams.
Frasier: Well lunch be damned! Our friend is in need.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Perhaps your dreams are trying to tell you about something too frightening for your waking mind.
Sam: Like what?
Frasier: Like you care. You care about Rebecca.
Sam: Oh come on, Frasier. You know me. How can I care about her? We haven't done the main thing that I care about.
Frasier: Forgive me, Sam. I forgot about your high moral standards.
Lilith: You mean to say, you can't care about a woman unless you sleep with her first?
Sam: Well, yeah.
Sam: Like what?
Frasier: Like you care. You care about Rebecca.
Sam: Oh come on, Frasier. You know me. How can I care about her? We haven't done the main thing that I care about.
Frasier: Forgive me, Sam. I forgot about your high moral standards.
Lilith: You mean to say, you can't care about a woman unless you sleep with her first?
Sam: Well, yeah.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: [about Rebecca] It doesn't seem fair, does it? I spent three years loosening the cap on that peanut butter jar and right now she's stickin' to the roof of somebody else's mouth.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Hey Rebecca, can I work the next shift? I need the overtime.
Rebecca: Sam look, I know what you're trying to do here but forget it. It's going to take you the rest of your life to save enough money to buy Cheers.
Woody: Hey if Sam says he can do it, he can do it. We have faith in you Sam. Cheers is gonna be yours. I just hope I'm still alive to see it.
Rebecca: Sam look, I know what you're trying to do here but forget it. It's going to take you the rest of your life to save enough money to buy Cheers.
Woody: Hey if Sam says he can do it, he can do it. We have faith in you Sam. Cheers is gonna be yours. I just hope I'm still alive to see it.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Emotional crises can affect our sensory perceptions. Devastating. I've read volumes on hysterical blindness, loss of hearing, even total loss of speech.
Carla: Clavin had to pick blindness.
Frasier: Carla, you're not helping.
Carla: I'm not trying.
Carla: Clavin had to pick blindness.
Frasier: Carla, you're not helping.
Carla: I'm not trying.
TV Show: Cheers
Margaret: The men up in Canada well they just don't compare to you. They're just pale pathetic imitations of you, Cliff.
Carla: Boy that must be one butt ugly country.
Carla: Boy that must be one butt ugly country.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: Today I had to choose between two really great jobs. Couldn't make up my mind.
Woody: What'd you do?
Norm: I skipped them both and came in here. I think I made the right choice.
Woody: What'd you do?
Norm: I skipped them both and came in here. I think I made the right choice.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: I'm sorry, I've never hired anyone before, I wouldn't know what to ask.
Rudy: Okay, but while you're thinking about it, let me buy you a beer.
Norm: You're hired!
Rudy: Okay, but while you're thinking about it, let me buy you a beer.
Norm: You're hired!
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: On this day in Boston's History? Yeah so they run this column every day. It tells you what happened 10 years ago, 50 years ago. What are we looking for? The last time she [Rebecca] had sex?
Carla: No no no, this only goes back 100 years.
Rebecca: Why are you all so interested in my sex life?
Sam: Somebody has to be.
Carla: No no no, this only goes back 100 years.
Rebecca: Why are you all so interested in my sex life?
Sam: Somebody has to be.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: Oh doctor, thank God I felt so isolated here. I guess I had false labor. I'm just so terribly embarrassed because I'm a doctor myself. I was so sure this was the real thing. Not to mention the fact that I was sure I was going to be a mother today. Now I have to go on waiting. I need someone to talk me though this and please please tell me what to do.
Doctor: False labor. Go home.
Doctor: False labor. Go home.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: I told you he was my husband. I had twins with Eddie.
Gloria: So what? So did I.
Norm: Yikes.
Carla: At least mine don't give you warts when you touch them.
Gloria: So what? So did I.
Norm: Yikes.
Carla: At least mine don't give you warts when you touch them.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: It's not fair. I swear I get all the disadvantages of being married and none of the perks.
Norm: Wait, there are perks?
Norm: Wait, there are perks?
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: How can you go back to a room full of people that think you're a total idiot? How do you do it Cliff?
Cliff: I don't really like to divulge-- Hey!
Cliff: I don't really like to divulge-- Hey!
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: My grandmother cleaned out her attic. Guess what she found?
Carla: Your grandfather.
Woody: No, he doesn't go in the attic.
Carla: Your grandfather.
Woody: No, he doesn't go in the attic.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: Now this customer stuff is gonna be great. You know usually I'm so busy working, I miss out on all the witty conversations that go on around here.
[On the other side of the bar]
Cliff: Norm, you seem to have a little cheese doodle dust in the corner there.
Norm: I didn't have any cheese doodles.
Cliff: Last night you did.
Norm: I did? [licks lips] Wow that stuff really keeps, doesn't it?
[On the other side of the bar]
Cliff: Norm, you seem to have a little cheese doodle dust in the corner there.
Norm: I didn't have any cheese doodles.
Cliff: Last night you did.
Norm: I did? [licks lips] Wow that stuff really keeps, doesn't it?
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: [about his beard] So you really think it looks sexy, huh?
Rebecca: Oh yes, Yasser Arafat always makes me hot!
Rebecca: Oh yes, Yasser Arafat always makes me hot!
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: I want you to tell me straight. How good are your kids at breaking and entering anyway? And do not brag about them just because you're their mother.
Carla: Well that depends, what kind of system are we talking about here?
Rebecca: It's a Triton 5000 Sonic with laser beams.
Carla: They're not that good. But feel free to call if you're ever trapped in a late model car. They'll have you and the radio out in 60 seconds.
Carla: Well that depends, what kind of system are we talking about here?
Rebecca: It's a Triton 5000 Sonic with laser beams.
Carla: They're not that good. But feel free to call if you're ever trapped in a late model car. They'll have you and the radio out in 60 seconds.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: What is it with people nowadays? When I was a kid we used to keep our door unlocked all the time. We used to get ripped off a lot but we could at least get out of the damn house.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?
Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?
Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?
TV Show: Cheers
Doris: Cliff, when you get out of the service, could we go out together?
Cliff: You know Doris, there's actually no rule against mailmen dating women. It just sort of turns out that way.
Cliff: You know Doris, there's actually no rule against mailmen dating women. It just sort of turns out that way.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: We no longer think of ourselves as three individuals. We are three parts of the same machine, working together. Three people with one single purpose.
Carla: Not to drown.
Sam: All right, two single purposes; not to drown and win the race.
Norm: What about you know not getting all wet and getting all sick?
Sam: All right three single purposes.
Carla: How about buying the bar back?
Sam: Does anyone have a piece of paper?
Carla: Not to drown.
Sam: All right, two single purposes; not to drown and win the race.
Norm: What about you know not getting all wet and getting all sick?
Sam: All right three single purposes.
Carla: How about buying the bar back?
Sam: Does anyone have a piece of paper?
TV Show: Cheers
[Sam enters wearing a suit]
Carla: Sammy, blind me with you beauty. What's with the fashion statement?
Sam: I had to look good. I had a meeting over at the corporation about buying Cheers.
Cliff: How'd it go?
Sam: I talked them into it. They're going to sell me the bar back. [Everyone cheers] I'm not out of the woods yet. I've got to raise a little bit more capital. I have to find myself a few investors. [Frasier, Norm, and the ride side of the bar move away] No not you. I'm talking about people with real money.
Norm: What's the matter, Sam? Our money's not good enough for you?
Sam: That's right.
Norm: Okay, for a second there I was offended.
Carla: Sammy, blind me with you beauty. What's with the fashion statement?
Sam: I had to look good. I had a meeting over at the corporation about buying Cheers.
Cliff: How'd it go?
Sam: I talked them into it. They're going to sell me the bar back. [Everyone cheers] I'm not out of the woods yet. I've got to raise a little bit more capital. I have to find myself a few investors. [Frasier, Norm, and the ride side of the bar move away] No not you. I'm talking about people with real money.
Norm: What's the matter, Sam? Our money's not good enough for you?
Sam: That's right.
Norm: Okay, for a second there I was offended.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Hey teach, I'm Carla LeBec. Listen I got this business problem. I'm being audited by the IRS and I'm a little scared.
Alice: Well don't be. The IRS auditors aren't inherently evil monsters and sadists. They're people just like you.
Carla: Boy I'm in worse trouble than I thought.
Alice: Well don't be. The IRS auditors aren't inherently evil monsters and sadists. They're people just like you.
Carla: Boy I'm in worse trouble than I thought.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: It looks like you'll have to bury the auditor in paperwork. Get your hands on all your receipts, if you don't have them, make them up
Carla: That's illegal
Norm: Okay, if you don't wanna...
Carla: No, the kids will love it! We'll make it a family project!
Carla: That's illegal
Norm: Okay, if you don't wanna...
Carla: No, the kids will love it! We'll make it a family project!
TV Show: Cheers
Alex: And here are the categories for you, "Civil Servants", "Stamps From Around The World", "Mothers And Sons", "Beer", "Bar Trivia", and finally, "Celibacy".
Woody: Man, this has to be Mr. Clavin's dream board.
Norm: Sure. He's home free as long as he doesn't get too cocky.
Alex: Cliff, can I get you to pick a category and an amount?
Cliff: Why don't you go ahead and pick any one you want? I mean, I am feeling lucky today! Woah!
Norm: Uh oh.
Woody: Man, this has to be Mr. Clavin's dream board.
Norm: Sure. He's home free as long as he doesn't get too cocky.
Alex: Cliff, can I get you to pick a category and an amount?
Cliff: Why don't you go ahead and pick any one you want? I mean, I am feeling lucky today! Woah!
Norm: Uh oh.
TV Show: Cheers
Alex: And it takes us to Cliff. Cliff, good news for you. Both of your opponents came up with incorrect responses, and what that means is that even if you're wrong, and as long as you didn't do anything foolish, like wager everything, you're a cinch winner.
Cliff: Well then, we don't have to see my answer, do we, Alex? [Places his jacket over his monitor.] I will see you at the Tournament of Champions.
Alex: [Taking the jacket from Cliff's monitor.] Cliff, we're running out of time, and we are gonna have to take a look at your response. You wrote down... "Who are three people who've never been in my kitchen?" No, I'm sorry, that too is wrong. The correct response is "Who are the real names of Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, and Joan Crawford?"
Cliff: Well, be that as it may, Alex, those people have never been in my kitchen.
Alex: Well, I'm sure they haven't. But obviously that's not what we were going for when we wrote up that clue.
Cliff: Obvious to who?
Alex: Cliff, it's all right. You don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet... 22,000 Big Ones! Takes you down to $0. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people have never been in my kitchen! You can ask them, come on! Tony Curtis is still alive! Get them on the phone. Go ahead! I'll pay for the call.
Alex: It isn't gonna work Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 isn't a big total, but today, that is gonna make you Jeopardy! champion. Congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions. You saw me America!
Norm: Come on, let's leave now, nobody will know we were with him. [Woody and Norm leave from the audience]
Cliff: T
Cliff: Well then, we don't have to see my answer, do we, Alex? [Places his jacket over his monitor.] I will see you at the Tournament of Champions.
Alex: [Taking the jacket from Cliff's monitor.] Cliff, we're running out of time, and we are gonna have to take a look at your response. You wrote down... "Who are three people who've never been in my kitchen?" No, I'm sorry, that too is wrong. The correct response is "Who are the real names of Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, and Joan Crawford?"
Cliff: Well, be that as it may, Alex, those people have never been in my kitchen.
Alex: Well, I'm sure they haven't. But obviously that's not what we were going for when we wrote up that clue.
Cliff: Obvious to who?
Alex: Cliff, it's all right. You don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet... 22,000 Big Ones! Takes you down to $0. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people have never been in my kitchen! You can ask them, come on! Tony Curtis is still alive! Get them on the phone. Go ahead! I'll pay for the call.
Alex: It isn't gonna work Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 isn't a big total, but today, that is gonna make you Jeopardy! champion. Congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions. You saw me America!
Norm: Come on, let's leave now, nobody will know we were with him. [Woody and Norm leave from the audience]
Cliff: T
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Do me one favor, will ya.
Rebecca: Sure, what is it?
Sam: Go to bed with me.
Rebecca: Oh Sam, you never stop.
Sam: I'm sorry. It's in my genes.
Rebecca: That's where it's gonna stay.
Rebecca: Sure, what is it?
Sam: Go to bed with me.
Rebecca: Oh Sam, you never stop.
Sam: I'm sorry. It's in my genes.
Rebecca: That's where it's gonna stay.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Rebecca and Robin started making out in the back of the limo. So I offered to do the gentlemanly thing.
Cliff: What's that?
Sam: Let them dump me out on the railroad tracks.
Carla: Oh man. That Colcord is a real jerk.
Sam: Yeah, he just pulled over and let me out.
Carla: He stopped the car? So what are you whining about?
Cliff: What's that?
Sam: Let them dump me out on the railroad tracks.
Carla: Oh man. That Colcord is a real jerk.
Sam: Yeah, he just pulled over and let me out.
Carla: He stopped the car? So what are you whining about?
TV Show: Cheers