Cheers Quotes
Esther: I can love you both for different reasons; Woody, I can love you because you're generous, kind, and strong, and Clifford, I can love you because I'm your biological mother and nature dictates there be a bond.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
Norm: Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: We're sorry man. We feel bad because we know how much the Hungry Heifer means to you.
Norm: You don't know the half of it Sammy. I love the Heifer. I don't know what I'm gonna do without that place. It was like my home away from Cheers.
Norm: You don't know the half of it Sammy. I love the Heifer. I don't know what I'm gonna do without that place. It was like my home away from Cheers.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: Do you make a drink for failures here at Cheers?
Sam: Hold on a second. Phil, what do you drink?
Phil: A Manhattan.
Sam: Manhattan.
Sam: Hold on a second. Phil, what do you drink?
Phil: A Manhattan.
Sam: Manhattan.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: As a rule your psycho killers don't have families. They're loners. They may have jobs. They're good to their mothers. By and large they sit alone at night in a dark room writing their depraved thoughts in a diary.
Norm: Cliffie, you keep a diary, don't you?
Cliff: I keep a journal, Norm. A journal.
Norm: Cliffie, you keep a diary, don't you?
Cliff: I keep a journal, Norm. A journal.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: But so help me God, if a man with a thumb answers...Hold on. It's him. It's the thumb guy and you know what that pervert said? "Allo." What's that in English?
Norm: I took French in high school. Allo. Allo means..."I've got your girlfriend in my arms, and soon we'll be naked, you stupid cuckold."
Cliff: That's funny, Norm, because I thought it meant..."I got your girlfriend in my arms, and we're already naked, you stupid cuckold."
Frasier: Stop heckling the poor lad. Woody, it simply means...that "I enjoyed your girlfriend."
Norm: I took French in high school. Allo. Allo means..."I've got your girlfriend in my arms, and soon we'll be naked, you stupid cuckold."
Cliff: That's funny, Norm, because I thought it meant..."I got your girlfriend in my arms, and we're already naked, you stupid cuckold."
Frasier: Stop heckling the poor lad. Woody, it simply means...that "I enjoyed your girlfriend."
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Have you ever seen so many yuppies with gold cards?
Rebecca: John Allen Hill worked his magic, and we reap the benefits.
Carla: I love these charge slips. Look here. They put down a five for a tip. All I have to do is stick a one in front of it and I got 15.
Rebecca: John Allen Hill worked his magic, and we reap the benefits.
Carla: I love these charge slips. Look here. They put down a five for a tip. All I have to do is stick a one in front of it and I got 15.
TV Show: Cheers
Cliff: No, kale's more of a family of greens. Anything with a pungent aroma and a loose head can be called kale.
Carla: Get you another beer, kale?
Carla: Get you another beer, kale?
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: It's just a small part in a commercial, but I don't know if I can pull it off.
Norm: What do you play?
Woody: A bartender.
Sam: Woody, you are a bartender.
Woody: But in this commercial, I have to serve drinks.
Sam: Woody, you serve drinks all the time.
Woody: But I have to talk and serve drinks.
Sam: You talk and serve drinks everyday.
Woody: Now you've made me nervous about working here.
Norm: What do you play?
Woody: A bartender.
Sam: Woody, you are a bartender.
Woody: But in this commercial, I have to serve drinks.
Sam: Woody, you serve drinks all the time.
Woody: But I have to talk and serve drinks.
Sam: You talk and serve drinks everyday.
Woody: Now you've made me nervous about working here.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: Excuse me. I have to check my messages.
Carla: You got one from Madame Tussaud. Get back to the museum.
Carla: You got one from Madame Tussaud. Get back to the museum.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: [Frasier] left here pretty angry. I keep calling the house. The machine keeps picking up.
Carla: Oh, Lilith answers?
Carla: Oh, Lilith answers?
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: I'm Sam Malone by the way.
Henri: Oh! I've heard about you in France.
Sam: Oh, you follow baseball?
Henri: No. Stewardesses.
Henri: Oh! I've heard about you in France.
Sam: Oh, you follow baseball?
Henri: No. Stewardesses.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: How's your love life? I mean the physical part?
Woody: I can't speak for Kelly but I'm looking forward to it.
Sam: You're telling me that you and Kelly haven't slept together?
Woody: Well, we did once when we went to see Old Gringo, but the whole row was snoring.
Sam: Well, I think this may be your problem, Wood?
Woody: I always figured we'd wait until after we were married. That's the way everybody in Hanover does it, except for that couple that teaches art at the high school.
Woody: I can't speak for Kelly but I'm looking forward to it.
Sam: You're telling me that you and Kelly haven't slept together?
Woody: Well, we did once when we went to see Old Gringo, but the whole row was snoring.
Sam: Well, I think this may be your problem, Wood?
Woody: I always figured we'd wait until after we were married. That's the way everybody in Hanover does it, except for that couple that teaches art at the high school.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Very often that's the best thing you can do when you're not getting along with a family member. Remove yourself entirely from them. Find some neutral place where you can take the time you need to be away from them.
Norm: You really think so, Frase?
Frasier: Well that's why we're all here, isn't it?
Norm: You really think so, Frase?
Frasier: Well that's why we're all here, isn't it?
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Carla, death is an earthly scientific passage predicted by either massive physical injury or progressive bodily deterioration. There is as little validity in a supposed death dream as there is in the cliched image of death itself as a grim bloodless ghoul who's bony finger reaches out to tap you on the shoulder when your number's up.
Lilith: [taps Frasier's shoulder] Frasier, it's time to go.
Frasier: [Screams] Don't do that, woman. Put on some blush.
Lilith: [taps Frasier's shoulder] Frasier, it's time to go.
Frasier: [Screams] Don't do that, woman. Put on some blush.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: [Valerie's] really nice, isn't she Wood?
Woody: She's really nice, sweet, warm, and wonderful. You know back in Hanover, me and my brother used to have a name for a girl like that.
Sam: What was that?
Woody: Mom. By the way, Sam, if I ever catch you anywhere near my mother you better pray God takes you before I do.
Woody: She's really nice, sweet, warm, and wonderful. You know back in Hanover, me and my brother used to have a name for a girl like that.
Sam: What was that?
Woody: Mom. By the way, Sam, if I ever catch you anywhere near my mother you better pray God takes you before I do.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Fools, non believers, can't you see what the evil [foosball table] has done? You're trapped. You're spending every minute of every day in this bar.
Cliff: We always do that.
Carla: Yeah, but now you're doing it standing up.
Norm: That is kind of eerie.
Cliff: We always do that.
Carla: Yeah, but now you're doing it standing up.
Norm: That is kind of eerie.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Are you drinking again?
Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.
Sam: So you want to talk? Is this about getting married tomorrow? Are you getting cold feet?
Rebecca: Certainly not. I am perfectly prepared to marry Robin and spend the rest of my life wth him. I'm just not particularly looking forward to it.
Sam: You know I don't get that. All you've done the last two years is talk about getting married to this guy.
Rebecca: Well I'll tell you. It is one thing to love somebody who's serving time for you. It's another thing serving time with them.
Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.
Sam: So you want to talk? Is this about getting married tomorrow? Are you getting cold feet?
Rebecca: Certainly not. I am perfectly prepared to marry Robin and spend the rest of my life wth him. I'm just not particularly looking forward to it.
Sam: You know I don't get that. All you've done the last two years is talk about getting married to this guy.
Rebecca: Well I'll tell you. It is one thing to love somebody who's serving time for you. It's another thing serving time with them.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: It's a dangerous combination: a karaoke machine and an obsessive personality whose parents used to play Broadway cast albums to drown out their lovemaking.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Guys listen up for a second please. When Rebecca comes in she's probably not going to be feeling too good so just take it easy on her. All right?
Norm: What's the problem, Sam?
Sam: She called off the whole wedding.
Carla: Get out.
Sam: I went over there last night. She was a real mess. She was clear about one thing. She doesn't love [Robin] and there's no way she's gonna marry him.
[Rebecca enters wearing a wedding dress with a smile on her face]
Norm: Yeah Sam, she's in agony.
Lilith: Ordinarily Sam, people don't deal with depression by putting on a wedding dress and acting giddy.
Carla: Except maybe Clavin.
Norm: What's the problem, Sam?
Sam: She called off the whole wedding.
Carla: Get out.
Sam: I went over there last night. She was a real mess. She was clear about one thing. She doesn't love [Robin] and there's no way she's gonna marry him.
[Rebecca enters wearing a wedding dress with a smile on her face]
Norm: Yeah Sam, she's in agony.
Lilith: Ordinarily Sam, people don't deal with depression by putting on a wedding dress and acting giddy.
Carla: Except maybe Clavin.
TV Show: Cheers
Rebecca: [from the back room] I need somebody to talk to. Anybody. I really need some help. [Paul walks back and comes right back out] Not Paul!
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.
Paul: I can't help somebody who doesn't want to be helped.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Hey, any of you guys tried that new steakhouse on Commonwealth?
Norm: No.
Sam: It's great. Beautiful waitresses in tiny little wench outfits.
Norm: Yeah, what did you have?
Sam: Beautiful waitress in a tiny little wench outfit. I'm going back too.
Norm: No.
Sam: It's great. Beautiful waitresses in tiny little wench outfits.
Norm: Yeah, what did you have?
Sam: Beautiful waitress in a tiny little wench outfit. I'm going back too.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Woody, I think it was a great sacrifice for you to give your clothes to Rebecca. It puts me in mind of another novel by my favorite British author. You know who I mean. I'll give you a hint, Charles...
Norm: In Charge?
Frasier: Are you people really this ignorant or do you do this just to torture me?
Norm: Sometimes the two go hand in hand.
Norm: In Charge?
Frasier: Are you people really this ignorant or do you do this just to torture me?
Norm: Sometimes the two go hand in hand.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: I don't know, Dr. Crane. Haven't you ever thought that it's kind of tough on them - doing all that counseling stuff? I mean I was raised to believe that if you have a problem, you lock it away in a secret place. You keep it bottled up good and tight. And if it gets full in there, you just keep forcing the pain down and clamping it in.
Frasier: Good advice, Woody. [to Norm] Tick... tick... tick.
Frasier: Good advice, Woody. [to Norm] Tick... tick... tick.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: Ah Frasier, here you are. Where are the dysfunctional men?
Carla: Throw a rock.
Carla: Throw a rock.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: I think your humor is expressive of a hidden hostility toward Rebecca. Or perhaps deep down you fear she really is capable of taking this bar from you.
Sam: Put a suit on a woman and she thinks she's God.
Lilith: Frasier, are you going to let him talk to me like this?
Frasier: She's also this way when the suit comes off, Sam.
Sam: Put a suit on a woman and she thinks she's God.
Lilith: Frasier, are you going to let him talk to me like this?
Frasier: She's also this way when the suit comes off, Sam.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: Buy yourself a melon in case you misplace your head.
John Hill: Tell me Carla, clinically speaking are you considered a dwarf or a midget?
Carla: Say is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?
John Hill: Somebody phone the authorities in Paris. The gargoyle has just fallen off Notre Dame and is now taking drink orders.
Carla: You know two heads like that would make a perfectly good butt.
John Hill: Shrike.
Carla: Bullet head.
John Hill: Slattern.
Carla: Hatchet face.
John Hill: Well must be off. Till next month then.
Carla: He's good people.
John Hill: Tell me Carla, clinically speaking are you considered a dwarf or a midget?
Carla: Say is that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?
John Hill: Somebody phone the authorities in Paris. The gargoyle has just fallen off Notre Dame and is now taking drink orders.
Carla: You know two heads like that would make a perfectly good butt.
John Hill: Shrike.
Carla: Bullet head.
John Hill: Slattern.
Carla: Hatchet face.
John Hill: Well must be off. Till next month then.
Carla: He's good people.
TV Show: Cheers
John Hill: My hat check girl is missing from her post. You haven't perchance seen her?
Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault. Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of your employees. You know that really ticks me off.
[A girl comes out of Sam's office]
Miss Kenderson: Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up.
Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Every time something goes wrong in your restaurant it's my fault. Like I'm the one who's supposed to keep track of your employees. You know that really ticks me off.
[A girl comes out of Sam's office]
Miss Kenderson: Sam, I can't get the sofa bed to fold back up.
TV Show: Cheers
Henri: Are you ready?
Woody: Yeah I just shaved. How does my face look?
Henri: As smooth as your girlfriend Kelly's bottom.
Woody: Is that a joke?
Henri: But of course it is. You have to shave much closer.
Woody: Yeah I just shaved. How does my face look?
Henri: As smooth as your girlfriend Kelly's bottom.
Woody: Is that a joke?
Henri: But of course it is. You have to shave much closer.
TV Show: Cheers