Cheers Quotes
Cliff: Today marks the beginning of my seventh year as a United States postal carrier.
Norm: Woody, I think that calls for a little drink on the house. What do you think?
Woody: I think you're right, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: What the hell, give Cliffie one too.
Norm: Woody, I think that calls for a little drink on the house. What do you think?
Woody: I think you're right, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: What the hell, give Cliffie one too.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: What's the latest, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Zsa Zsa marries a millionaire. Peterson drinks a beer. Film at 11.
Norm: Zsa Zsa marries a millionaire. Peterson drinks a beer. Film at 11.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Diane, change.
Diane: Not for you or any man.
Sam: No, no Diane. Change: nickels, dimes, quarters.
Diane: Not for you or any man.
Sam: No, no Diane. Change: nickels, dimes, quarters.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Christmas comes earlier every year, doesn't it?
Woody: I think if you check Sam, it always comes on the 25th of December.
Woody: I think if you check Sam, it always comes on the 25th of December.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: What could be more enjoyable than opening your heart with holiday cheer?
Carla: Opening yours with a can opener.
Carla: Opening yours with a can opener.
TV Show: Cheers
Woody: You know I was thinking about this the other day and I think in my next life I'd like to come back as the President of France.
Norm: Why is that, Wood?
Woody: Well I think it would attract a lot of business to the bar.
Norm: Why is that, Wood?
Woody: Well I think it would attract a lot of business to the bar.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: I've been plannin' my Elvis pilgrimage to Memphis for weeks and now Nick is backing out of takin' care of the kids. He says his appendix burst.
Sam: That seems serious to me.
Carla: His appendix bursts every time I need a favor.
Woody: If he was smart, he would have that removed.
Sam: That seems serious to me.
Carla: His appendix bursts every time I need a favor.
Woody: If he was smart, he would have that removed.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: [watching her video] All my life I wanted to dance so badly!
Norm: Looks like you got your wish.
Norm: Looks like you got your wish.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: [to Diane] They can stop me from killing you, but they can't stop me from marrying you.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: Father, do you believe in the afterlife?
Priest: Yes, my son. I do.
[Pause]
Sam: Well, good. Maybe I can find her there, and, get her again.
Priest: Yes, my son. I do.
[Pause]
Sam: Well, good. Maybe I can find her there, and, get her again.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Sam, this has gone too far. I think it's time you told her the truth.
Sam: The truth? And you call yourself a psychiatrist.
Sam: The truth? And you call yourself a psychiatrist.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: Something tells me Diane's not the type of woman who'd want a ring from a jeweler who starts every business transaction with "Pssst, buddy."
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: [about Nick] He knows women like a jeweler knows jewels; like a meat-cutter knows meat.
Loretta: Like a marine biologist knows Marines.
Loretta: Like a marine biologist knows Marines.
TV Show: Cheers
Carla: No way some guy like that ends up with me.
Sam: Will you stop cutting yourself short. You offer a lot of things to a guy.
Carla: Oh yeah, sure. Six kids, mortgage up to my ears, stack of bills, dead end job, and fallen arches.
Sam: You know, if I wasn't already engaged...
Sam: Will you stop cutting yourself short. You offer a lot of things to a guy.
Carla: Oh yeah, sure. Six kids, mortgage up to my ears, stack of bills, dead end job, and fallen arches.
Sam: You know, if I wasn't already engaged...
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: What about Frasier? Frasier you look like you could use a pick me up.
Frasier: A hockey game? No, thank you. I've been to a bullfights in Spain and I've been to the altar with Diane. I think that's enough carnage for one life.
Frasier: A hockey game? No, thank you. I've been to a bullfights in Spain and I've been to the altar with Diane. I think that's enough carnage for one life.
TV Show: Cheers
Norm: We were thinking maybe somebody's got to tell Carla that she's jinxing Eddie.
Sam: And what suicidal idiot did you have in mind to do that?
Norm: Well your name kept coming up.
Sam: And what suicidal idiot did you have in mind to do that?
Norm: Well your name kept coming up.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: How can a man tell a woman he loves her and yet try to kill her?
Sam: I can see it.
Sam: I can see it.
TV Show: Cheers
Madeline: I'd like to help with the doctor bills.
[Cliff looks at Sam.]
Sam: That's good.
Cliff: [to Madeline] That's good.
Madeline: Anything to help ease the burden on you and your family.
[Cliff looks at Sam again.]
Sam: You're not married.
Cliff: [to Madeline] You're not married. [Sam taps Cliff on the shoulder.] I mean I'm not married. But I could be if I wanted to. Right, Sam?
Sam: Sure.
[Cliff looks at Sam.]
Sam: That's good.
Cliff: [to Madeline] That's good.
Madeline: Anything to help ease the burden on you and your family.
[Cliff looks at Sam again.]
Sam: You're not married.
Cliff: [to Madeline] You're not married. [Sam taps Cliff on the shoulder.] I mean I'm not married. But I could be if I wanted to. Right, Sam?
Sam: Sure.
TV Show: Cheers
Frasier: [to Lillith] Darling? Don't make yourself too beautiful I can hardly stand to look at you now.
TV Show: Cheers
Lilith: What was that? [Tries door] Frasier what are you doing? Frasier the door seems to be jammed. Frasier?
Diane: Sam, open the door.
[Fraiser offers Sam a cigar]
Frasier: Macanudo?
Sam: Don't mind if I do, thank you.
Frasier: You know, I can't stand all this caterwauling, let's go upstairs. I've got all 13 episodes of I, Claudius on tape.
Sam: Great, I love gladiator flicks.
Diane: Sam, open the door.
[Fraiser offers Sam a cigar]
Frasier: Macanudo?
Sam: Don't mind if I do, thank you.
Frasier: You know, I can't stand all this caterwauling, let's go upstairs. I've got all 13 episodes of I, Claudius on tape.
Sam: Great, I love gladiator flicks.
TV Show: Cheers
[Simon enters the bar and spots Frasier]
Simon: [sings] Three Little Maids from School are we.
Frasier: [sings] Pert as a Schoolgirl well may be.
Both: [sing] Filled to the brim with girlish glee, Three Little Maids from School.
Woody: Sam should I call the police?
Frasier: No need for alarm Woody, we were in the spring musical at Oxford together. It was The Mikado. Simon was Pitti-Sing and I was Yum-Yum.
Simon: And a handsomer Yum-Yum I've never seen.
Simon: [sings] Three Little Maids from School are we.
Frasier: [sings] Pert as a Schoolgirl well may be.
Both: [sing] Filled to the brim with girlish glee, Three Little Maids from School.
Woody: Sam should I call the police?
Frasier: No need for alarm Woody, we were in the spring musical at Oxford together. It was The Mikado. Simon was Pitti-Sing and I was Yum-Yum.
Simon: And a handsomer Yum-Yum I've never seen.
TV Show: Cheers
[Sam & Diane visit Dr Finch-Royce for the umpteenth time]
Diane: Doctor, there's still one thing you haven't considered...
Simon: [flustered] OK. Sam, Diane, you two are perfect together. I'm sorry I made a mistake before but you are the most perfectly matched couple ever. But, why am I telling this to you? Let's share it with the rest of the world. [shouts out the window] Hear this, world! The rest of you can stop getting married! It's been done to perfection! [gesturing to the furniture] Envy them, sofa, envy them, chair, for you shall never be as cozy as they for their union shall be an epoch-shattering success and I STAKE MY LIFE ON IT. Wait a moment, let me get this on record! [talks into his tape recorder] "I, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, being of sound mind and body declare that Sam and Diane shall be happy together throughout all eternity and if I am wrong I promise I will take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible." Here, take the tape, NO, take the whole machine. It's my wedding gift to you. The most perfect couple since the DAWN of TIME.
Diane: [turns to Sam, beaming] See?
Diane: Doctor, there's still one thing you haven't considered...
Simon: [flustered] OK. Sam, Diane, you two are perfect together. I'm sorry I made a mistake before but you are the most perfectly matched couple ever. But, why am I telling this to you? Let's share it with the rest of the world. [shouts out the window] Hear this, world! The rest of you can stop getting married! It's been done to perfection! [gesturing to the furniture] Envy them, sofa, envy them, chair, for you shall never be as cozy as they for their union shall be an epoch-shattering success and I STAKE MY LIFE ON IT. Wait a moment, let me get this on record! [talks into his tape recorder] "I, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, being of sound mind and body declare that Sam and Diane shall be happy together throughout all eternity and if I am wrong I promise I will take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible." Here, take the tape, NO, take the whole machine. It's my wedding gift to you. The most perfect couple since the DAWN of TIME.
Diane: [turns to Sam, beaming] See?
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Oh Sam, it's never too early to start thinking of name for our children.
Sam: It is if you're thinking about the name Emil.
Diane: What's wrong with Emil?
Sam: A meal is something you eat. It's not something you name your kid.
Sam: It is if you're thinking about the name Emil.
Diane: What's wrong with Emil?
Sam: A meal is something you eat. It's not something you name your kid.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: The point is you've got to get to know each other better if you're going to take a big step like this. You gotta get past this early infatuation and get to the point where you're sick and tired of each other; then you're ready for marriage. Look at Diane and me, we waited five years to get married. If it were up to me we'd wait another five.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: Norman, may I talk to you for a minute?
Norm: Yeah, sure. What's up?
Diane: You make me sick. You're a quitter, Norman! No, you're worse than that, you're a non-starter. You don't even try. You sit around the bar all day, you sit around your house all day, you sit around here all day, you sit around life all day! How are you going to feel at the end of your life when you're lying-no, make that sitting, on your death bed and you realize the only thing you've done in your life was sit around, and watch people do things, make things out of their lives? Well, maybe you're right, Norman. Maybe you're not meant for success, maybe you're meant for exactly what you are-nothing.
Norm: Diane, you have no right to say that to me.
Diane: Oh, Norman, I only said those things because I care about you.
Norm: You must care an awful lot about me.
Diane: Yes, I do. We all do. We're your friends, Norman, and we're all tired of seeing you give up so easily.
Norm: Yeah, sure. What's up?
Diane: You make me sick. You're a quitter, Norman! No, you're worse than that, you're a non-starter. You don't even try. You sit around the bar all day, you sit around your house all day, you sit around here all day, you sit around life all day! How are you going to feel at the end of your life when you're lying-no, make that sitting, on your death bed and you realize the only thing you've done in your life was sit around, and watch people do things, make things out of their lives? Well, maybe you're right, Norman. Maybe you're not meant for success, maybe you're meant for exactly what you are-nothing.
Norm: Diane, you have no right to say that to me.
Diane: Oh, Norman, I only said those things because I care about you.
Norm: You must care an awful lot about me.
Diane: Yes, I do. We all do. We're your friends, Norman, and we're all tired of seeing you give up so easily.
TV Show: Cheers
Diane: [After Thompkins steals Norm's proposal to the Board of Directors] Now now, Norman, you can't let this faze you, all right? You have to keep pushing. I know that this idea didn't succeed, but others will.
Norm: No no, Diane. Look, a few minutes ago, I almost made the biggest mistake of my professional life and it was because I was doing something that just wasn't me. I am not a go-getter, I've never been a go-getter, what's more, I don't even want to be a go-getter. I'm very happy right where I am. I'm so sick of all these people saying "Peterson, you gotta push", "You gotta get ahead", "You gotta make that goal". I don't even want to make the goal, Diane. I want to be a bench warmer. The world needs bench warmers. If there were no bench warmers, what would we have? Cold benches. A lot of cold benches and the world does not need that. You know something, I'm very happy with being an anonymous cog in this field of work.
Diane: Norman, I've never seen you so impassioned like this before.
Norm: That's because I believe in this, Diane. I'll tell you something else, Norm Peterson may be a motionless lump, but he's a damn good one.
Norm: No no, Diane. Look, a few minutes ago, I almost made the biggest mistake of my professional life and it was because I was doing something that just wasn't me. I am not a go-getter, I've never been a go-getter, what's more, I don't even want to be a go-getter. I'm very happy right where I am. I'm so sick of all these people saying "Peterson, you gotta push", "You gotta get ahead", "You gotta make that goal". I don't even want to make the goal, Diane. I want to be a bench warmer. The world needs bench warmers. If there were no bench warmers, what would we have? Cold benches. A lot of cold benches and the world does not need that. You know something, I'm very happy with being an anonymous cog in this field of work.
Diane: Norman, I've never seen you so impassioned like this before.
Norm: That's because I believe in this, Diane. I'll tell you something else, Norm Peterson may be a motionless lump, but he's a damn good one.
TV Show: Cheers
Sam: You're just in time to see our masterpiece.
Diane: Should I alert Pauline Kael?
Sam: Well if you want to but tell her to get her butt in gear. We're about to start.
Diane: Should I alert Pauline Kael?
Sam: Well if you want to but tell her to get her butt in gear. We're about to start.
TV Show: Cheers