Clone High Quotes
Ghandi: Straight up man. Numbers don't lie.
Anthropomorphic Four: I'm the number five!
Anthropomorphic Four: I'm the number five!
TV Show: Clone High
Mr. Butler-tron: Shouldn't you be saving some of this money instead of having me gold-plated and LOWERED?
Scudworth: Don't get all up in my business, my hydraulically outfitted friend. Why, I watched the first two-thirds of VH-1's M.C. Hammer: Behind the Music, and if there's one thing I learned about money, it's that it never runs out!
Scudworth: Don't get all up in my business, my hydraulically outfitted friend. Why, I watched the first two-thirds of VH-1's M.C. Hammer: Behind the Music, and if there's one thing I learned about money, it's that it never runs out!
TV Show: Clone High
[Knock on door]
JFK: Hark! That sounds like the gentle knock of a vulnerable teenage girl. [JFK opens door to Joan, in the rain] You're wet. Allow me to dry you off... WITH MY PANTS!
JFK: Hark! That sounds like the gentle knock of a vulnerable teenage girl. [JFK opens door to Joan, in the rain] You're wet. Allow me to dry you off... WITH MY PANTS!
TV Show: Clone High
Abe: Right now all I can think about is not thinking about you over there on your thinking dock thinking about what you did.
Joan: I was only trying to help, Abe. You don't know what you're getting into...what she's getting you into.
Abe: You don't know what you're getting into, and that's out of my friendship. And do you know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on. But there's a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most, and it's from you backstabbing me. So maybe instead of the nail metaphor, I should have used a stabbing metaphor, but it's too late for that now, isn't it?
Joan: I guess it is.
Abe: That's where you're wrong, Joan. Because I'm going to win that election with the most dangerous campaign stunt since Dukakis jumped the snake river canyon. Goodbye, Joan. [Walks off dock into water. Gets back onto dock] ...Goodbye, Joan.
Joan: I was only trying to help, Abe. You don't know what you're getting into...what she's getting you into.
Abe: You don't know what you're getting into, and that's out of my friendship. And do you know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on. But there's a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most, and it's from you backstabbing me. So maybe instead of the nail metaphor, I should have used a stabbing metaphor, but it's too late for that now, isn't it?
Joan: I guess it is.
Abe: That's where you're wrong, Joan. Because I'm going to win that election with the most dangerous campaign stunt since Dukakis jumped the snake river canyon. Goodbye, Joan. [Walks off dock into water. Gets back onto dock] ...Goodbye, Joan.
TV Show: Clone High
JFK: That is a good question, scary androgynous white guy, and I would like to reply by taking my shirt off.
Abe: My bare-chested opponent raises a good point, but he's avoiding the fact that X-Stream Blue is mad packed with all nine essential nutrimites to fortify your X-Zone.
JFK: May I respond to that.
Marilyn Manson: Yes you may.
JFK: Abe's a tot-muncher.
Abe: For my rebuttal, I would like to dramatically gesture to this death-defying skateboard ramp behind me.
Abe: My bare-chested opponent raises a good point, but he's avoiding the fact that X-Stream Blue is mad packed with all nine essential nutrimites to fortify your X-Zone.
JFK: May I respond to that.
Marilyn Manson: Yes you may.
JFK: Abe's a tot-muncher.
Abe: For my rebuttal, I would like to dramatically gesture to this death-defying skateboard ramp behind me.
TV Show: Clone High
Scudworth: There goes our ghetto-fabulous lifestyle.
Mr. Butlertron: Bling, bling!
Mr. Butlertron: Bling, bling!
TV Show: Clone High
Scudworth: Fine, whatever, this random dog is your new president.
Cleo [To dog]: Hey Mr. President, that's a cute collar.
Cleo [To dog]: Hey Mr. President, that's a cute collar.
TV Show: Clone High
Marilyn Manson: *singing* The ancient pharaohs were not too bright, they say / But they made one contribution that I live by to this day / It's the food pyramid, and it's approved by the USDA / Oh, grains are the foundation, so please take my advice / have 5 to 11 servings of bread, cereal, or rice / 3 to 5 of vegetables, and 4 fruits is best / their anti-oxidants and fibre help you to digest / 3 servings of yogurt, milk, and cheese / will help your bones and subsidize the cattle industries / A body needs to grow / and growing takes proteins / That's why meat can be a tasty treat like fish or human beings / When you eat your sweets, make sure you try / to limit your servings, or you'll DIE! / Everybody! / Our bodies are a pyramid that are made of healthy foods. / So do what we say (Yeah!) / Eat right everyday (Food!) / I....Love...You. / Buy American.
TV Show: Clone High
Mr. B: Oh Wesley, you have A.D.D.
Gandhi: [shocked] A.D.D.? Am I...dying?
Mr. B: No, it's A.D.D. Attention-Deficit Disorder. You also have A.D.H.D., its hyperactive cousin.
Gandhi: Oh, wow. I...I need a minute to think about this.
[thinks for a moment]
Gandhi: [happily] Hey, check out this extra flappy skin on my elbow. What is that?
Gandhi: [shocked] A.D.D.? Am I...dying?
Mr. B: No, it's A.D.D. Attention-Deficit Disorder. You also have A.D.H.D., its hyperactive cousin.
Gandhi: Oh, wow. I...I need a minute to think about this.
[thinks for a moment]
Gandhi: [happily] Hey, check out this extra flappy skin on my elbow. What is that?
TV Show: Clone High
Scudworth: When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons, and make super lemons.
TV Show: Clone High
[Tom Green has just noticed Abe reading his book]
Tom Green: Hey, you're reading my book! Touch the book...lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Book. Book. Book. Book. Book. Yeah, I haven't read it either, people with ADD aren't good readers. Wanna go shave a dog?
Abe: My friend has ADD, and everyone at school treats him like some kind of leper.
Tom Green: Well, that's discrimination! Hey, do you wanna go take a dump in my parents' bed?
[Abe remains silent]
Tom Green: [Caws] I'm an albatross! I'm an albatross! I'm flap-flap-flapping my albatross wings, flap-flap-flapping my albatross wings...[falls out of window]...AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH-[pokes the skin on his elbow]-AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Tom Green: Hey, you're reading my book! Touch the book...lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Lick the book. Book. Book. Book. Book. Book. Yeah, I haven't read it either, people with ADD aren't good readers. Wanna go shave a dog?
Abe: My friend has ADD, and everyone at school treats him like some kind of leper.
Tom Green: Well, that's discrimination! Hey, do you wanna go take a dump in my parents' bed?
[Abe remains silent]
Tom Green: [Caws] I'm an albatross! I'm an albatross! I'm flap-flap-flapping my albatross wings, flap-flap-flapping my albatross wings...[falls out of window]...AAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH-[pokes the skin on his elbow]-AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
TV Show: Clone High
Tom Green: Hi everybody, I'm Ottawa's Tom Green. I live in Hollywood.
[crowd claps]
Tom Green: Thank you. So, some of you have been mean to a kid with A.D.D. That's not cool. Coffee? Anyone...coffee, anyone? Huh? Sorry. I like cotton candy. Check out my muscle. Potato chips! It's a Ferris wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is...
[sees a plastic bag blow by and runs after it]
Tom Green: ...plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag!
Abe: Like Mister Greene so eloquently said ...
[crowd claps]
Tom Green: Thank you. So, some of you have been mean to a kid with A.D.D. That's not cool. Coffee? Anyone...coffee, anyone? Huh? Sorry. I like cotton candy. Check out my muscle. Potato chips! It's a Ferris wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is...
[sees a plastic bag blow by and runs after it]
Tom Green: ...plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag!
Abe: Like Mister Greene so eloquently said ...
TV Show: Clone High
Shadowy Figure: Listen, we've all done things we're not proud of after a good cross country meet. But that riot was unacceptable.
Scudworth: Unacceptable?! Did you see the pool? They FLIPPED the bitch!
Scudworth: Unacceptable?! Did you see the pool? They FLIPPED the bitch!
TV Show: Clone High
Scudworth: Maybe we could have dinner. Perhaps the Olive Garden. It's like eating in the private kitchen of a delightful Italian stereotype!
Shadowy Figure: We were thinking somewhere more...intimate. Your house, next Friday, no dairy. Please.
[transmission ends]
Scudworth: Dammit! I haven't been to the Olive Garden in, like, forever!
Shadowy Figure: We were thinking somewhere more...intimate. Your house, next Friday, no dairy. Please.
[transmission ends]
Scudworth: Dammit! I haven't been to the Olive Garden in, like, forever!
TV Show: Clone High
Sigmund Freud: Haw-haw-haw-haw-haw! You love A-abe! You love A-abe!
Joan: Go away, Sigmund Freud.
Joan: Go away, Sigmund Freud.
TV Show: Clone High
Doug Prepcourse: Sleep ought to be the number one thing on that list. I was in my 18 wheeler late one night, at about the sleepy hour, when I came across a cop, weaving all over the road. He was clearly too sleepy to drive. I tried to guide him off the road with my rig, but I think I over did it and sent that cop sailing off a cliff. [Laughs]
Joan: Did you kill him?
Doug Prepcourse: Kill him!? I saved his life... 'course, he's a cripple now.
Gandhi: [Pause] Hey, is that your rig? SWEET!
Joan: Did you kill him?
Doug Prepcourse: Kill him!? I saved his life... 'course, he's a cripple now.
Gandhi: [Pause] Hey, is that your rig? SWEET!
TV Show: Clone High
Gandhi: I don't know if I want a hamburger, hotdog, chili, or all of above.
Doug Prepcourse: Can you eliminate two of the options? If you can, go ahead and guess. Chances are, that's what you want.
Gandhi: It makes sense because its real.
Doug Prepcourse: Can you eliminate two of the options? If you can, go ahead and guess. Chances are, that's what you want.
Gandhi: It makes sense because its real.
TV Show: Clone High
JFK: Gay foster dads, can I watch Will & Grace with you?
Gay foster dad: But you usually watch SportsCenter up in your room, baby.
JFK: I've been thinking of switching channels... and I'm a little scared.
Gay foster dad: Getting into a new show can be a little uncomfortable, but once you get into the rhythm of it you'll be on your knees begging for more.
Gay foster dad: But you usually watch SportsCenter up in your room, baby.
JFK: I've been thinking of switching channels... and I'm a little scared.
Gay foster dad: Getting into a new show can be a little uncomfortable, but once you get into the rhythm of it you'll be on your knees begging for more.
TV Show: Clone High
Mr. Butler-tron: Your friend should listen to her heart. I'm not programmed to wink but if I were programmed to wink I would have winked when I said your friend.
TV Show: Clone High
Cleo: Well, I hate to bring up my first kiss with JFK...
Abe: Please don't.
Cleo: We were in the back of his van at the Dairy Queen, wine cooler bottles poking into our naked, writhing bodies.
Abe: Naked bodies?!
Abe: Please don't.
Cleo: We were in the back of his van at the Dairy Queen, wine cooler bottles poking into our naked, writhing bodies.
Abe: Naked bodies?!
TV Show: Clone High
Gandhi: All celebrities are completely hairless. They put the eyebrows on during editing to make sure the actors make the right facial expressions.
TV Show: Clone High
Abe: Girls, girls, please! You know how I feel about conflict. I'm against it! Now, I love you both. One in a completely platonic way, the other with a fiery passion that most people know but once in a lifetime. By the way, that one's not you, Joan; it's Cleo.
TV Show: Clone High
Joan of Arc: [referring to Cleo's bra] Why don't you just take the tissues out and it'll fall off?
Cleopatra: [gasps] You signed a nondisclosure agreement! I hope you have good lawyers, because I'm gonna sue your hand-me-down pants off, bleacher trash!
Abe: Girls, girls, girls! You're both human beings. You both put your bras on one leg at a time.
Cleopatra: [gasps] You signed a nondisclosure agreement! I hope you have good lawyers, because I'm gonna sue your hand-me-down pants off, bleacher trash!
Abe: Girls, girls, girls! You're both human beings. You both put your bras on one leg at a time.
TV Show: Clone High
Ghandi: Shut up!
JFK: You shut up!
Ghandi: No...YOU shut up.
JFK: [Gasps] Did you just tell me to shut up?
JFK: You shut up!
Ghandi: No...YOU shut up.
JFK: [Gasps] Did you just tell me to shut up?
TV Show: Clone High
Abe: Fervently, we do prawn. Prawn? That doesn't sound right... [ruffles through notes] Uh... something about a scourge. But I can't even spell "scourge". Then again, it could be "scourge"... yes, this is definitely "scourge".
TV Show: Clone High