Coupling Quote
Patrick: It was just so embarrassing. I didn't know what to do.
Steve: Happens to us all mate.
Jeff: All of us, in our time, are visited by the melty man.
Patrick: The what?
Jeff: Don't say his name, Patrick. Don't even think his name or he will rise from the shadow dimensions to do his evil work on your terrified pants.
Patrick: [chuckle] Terrified pants?
Steve: [gravely] There's nothing funny about the melty man, Patrick.
Patrick: [face falls] You know about the melty man, too?
Steve: [in a "duh!" voice] We all know the melty man.
Patrick: Who is he?
Steve: The archenemy of trouser confidence.
Jeff: Professor Moriarty. In groin form.
Steve: Darth Vader
Jeff: Without the helmet.
Patrick: [terrified and shocked] What does he do?
Jeff: Patrick, you *know* what he does.
Patrick: [looks down] Oh right.
Jeff: You're in bed with a woman. Everything's going fine. That's when the melty man strikes.
Steve: Suddenly you find yourself thinking, "Maybe she's really bored".
Jeff: Maybe you're licking her neck too much. Are you over-wetting her neck?
Steve: Are you spending an equal amount of time on each breast? I mean, what if one breast gets ahead?
Jeff: Should you be switching between them really quickly or should you squish 'em both together and do them at once [demonstrates]
Patrick: [frowns]
Steve: Or should you skip one breast completely just to save time?
Jeff: She's wriggling about. Is that a good sign or is she just trying to dry her neck?
TV Show: Coupling
