CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Warrick: There was this one case where a boxer put lead shot in his gloves to increase his punching power. And also ancient greek limapulists used a glove weighted with metal, called a "cestus."
Grissom: You making a classical reference?
Warrick: Yeah. I thought you'd like that.
Grissom: You making a classical reference?
Warrick: Yeah. I thought you'd like that.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: I guess clothes do make "The Man."
Catherine: In this case, "The Man" makes the clothes... and produces the music... and represents the athletes... when he's not involved in street shootings, of course.
Grissom: And when you asked him what he was wearing the night of the murder, he couldn't remember?
Catherine: As far as he's concerned murder is just another way to separate himself from the Calvins and Ralphs of the world.
Grissom: Calvin and Ralph?
Catherine: Klein and Lauren. Fashion.
Grissom: Oh. Well, for most CSIs, fashion is irrelevant.
Catherine: Speak for yourself. The only thing between me and a wardrobe like this is a few extra zeros on my paycheck.
Catherine: In this case, "The Man" makes the clothes... and produces the music... and represents the athletes... when he's not involved in street shootings, of course.
Grissom: And when you asked him what he was wearing the night of the murder, he couldn't remember?
Catherine: As far as he's concerned murder is just another way to separate himself from the Calvins and Ralphs of the world.
Grissom: Calvin and Ralph?
Catherine: Klein and Lauren. Fashion.
Grissom: Oh. Well, for most CSIs, fashion is irrelevant.
Catherine: Speak for yourself. The only thing between me and a wardrobe like this is a few extra zeros on my paycheck.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: By the way, the definition of the word "retard", is to hinder or to hold someone back. I think your life is about to become retarded.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Film Processor: I've processed hundreds of bogus snuff films. But this, this one just felt different.
Catherine: Yeah, it should. arterial spray was real.
Grissom: It's not fake blood. It's human. That was a murder... on 16 millimeter.
Catherine: Yeah, it should. arterial spray was real.
Grissom: It's not fake blood. It's human. That was a murder... on 16 millimeter.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[talking to the terminally ill suspect]
Catherine: You killed her.
Sara: I guess she killed you back.
Catherine: You killed her.
Sara: I guess she killed you back.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Okay, Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. Robbins: Okay. In fourth grade, I dropped out of karate class because a kid half my size made me cry.
Grissom: About the body.
Dr. Robbins: Okay. In fourth grade, I dropped out of karate class because a kid half my size made me cry.
Grissom: About the body.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: You know you pulled me away from a forensic anthropology seminar, right? It's required. It's part of the continuing education program.
Grissom: Well, I'm sorry, but everyone seems to have something to do today. I have a teenager who was run over by a taxi. He wasn't hit by it; that's not what killed him. He was stabbed, fatally. For now, I have no ID, no suspects and no primary crime scene. I need you.
Grissom: Well, I'm sorry, but everyone seems to have something to do today. I have a teenager who was run over by a taxi. He wasn't hit by it; that's not what killed him. He was stabbed, fatally. For now, I have no ID, no suspects and no primary crime scene. I need you.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: How would you like to be part of an experiment?
Judy: I- I'm a secretary, besides, I heard what you did to Greg's feet.
Grissom: You'll keep your shoes on, I swear.
Judy: I- I'm a secretary, besides, I heard what you did to Greg's feet.
Grissom: You'll keep your shoes on, I swear.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Thug: [After Brass is questioning them for beating a taxi driver who was supposedly fleeing a crime scene] If we were wearing badges, you guys would be giving us medals.
Brass: If you guys are wearing badges, I'm playing left wing in the NHL.
Brass: If you guys are wearing badges, I'm playing left wing in the NHL.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Hey, Greggy, any luck on those blood and hair samples?
Greg: Don't insult me. Luck is for those without skill.
Catherine: Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.
Greg: Sad, but true.
Greg: Don't insult me. Luck is for those without skill.
Catherine: Spoken like a man who's never hit the jackpot.
Greg: Sad, but true.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Looking at the meat grinder the arm is caught in]
Grissom: We're gonna have to dismantle this piece by piece.
Catherine: Yeah.
Grissom: I'll get a foreman.
Catherine: I think I can handle this.
Grissom: You know about meat grinders?
Catherine: Well, everything's pretty much plumbing. Male into female parts. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
[Grissom just looks at her as she starts to take it apart]
Grissom: We're gonna have to dismantle this piece by piece.
Catherine: Yeah.
Grissom: I'll get a foreman.
Catherine: I think I can handle this.
Grissom: You know about meat grinders?
Catherine: Well, everything's pretty much plumbing. Male into female parts. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
[Grissom just looks at her as she starts to take it apart]
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Nick and Sara sifting through rubbish they found near their victim]
Nick: Home pregnancy test, negative. Better luck next time.
Nick: Home pregnancy test, negative. Better luck next time.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[after Dr. Robbins has performed an autopsy on a living man, who later passes on]
Dr. Robbins: Alright David, take two.
Dr. Robbins: Alright David, take two.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: She's a virgin?! So what are we talking here immaculate conception?
Catherine: More like the immaculate perception. Pseudocyesis: imagined pregnancy.
Sara: It's all in her head? Well, that would explain what she was doing in Dad's bed.
Catherine: Fantasizing.
Catherine: More like the immaculate perception. Pseudocyesis: imagined pregnancy.
Sara: It's all in her head? Well, that would explain what she was doing in Dad's bed.
Catherine: Fantasizing.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom (looking at the eyeball): Well, someone's missing a contact lens.
Catherine: That's not all they're missing.
Grissom: You know, ravens, like eagles, have been known to travel 30 miles from roost to feeding ground.
Catherine: 30 miles in every direction. Pi-r-squared. That means that we're looking at a ... 2,800 mile search area.
Grissom: "Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore."
Catherine: We're up a tree and you're quoting Poe. Give me something.
Grissom (holding the eyeball): "Quoth the raven: Only this and nothing more."
Catherine: That's not all they're missing.
Grissom: You know, ravens, like eagles, have been known to travel 30 miles from roost to feeding ground.
Catherine: 30 miles in every direction. Pi-r-squared. That means that we're looking at a ... 2,800 mile search area.
Grissom: "Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore."
Catherine: We're up a tree and you're quoting Poe. Give me something.
Grissom (holding the eyeball): "Quoth the raven: Only this and nothing more."
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: Hey, I hear David's resurrecting the dead now.
Grissom (chuckles): Yeah, our little miracle worker.
Grissom (chuckles): Yeah, our little miracle worker.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Clyde: Look, everyone tries to get an edge in this business. I use jokes.
Warrick (hangs up the phone): Fred Sterns just passed away. Again.
Grissom: Dead guy. Not funny.
Warrick (hangs up the phone): Fred Sterns just passed away. Again.
Grissom: Dead guy. Not funny.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara (at a garbage dump): You know the average Nevadan generates three times more waste than the average American?
Nick: Yeah, well that's tourist trash.
Sara: Thirteen million pounds per day. I went to the recycling forum in March.
Catherine: The landfill manager says this is the active cell. Spotter says cell lift moves forward 20 feet a day. That puts the active cell right ... pretty much in front of us.
Nick: Man! You find the best evidence in the nastiest places.
Catherine: You are what you throw away.
Sara: It's like peeling an onion in peoples' lives.
Catherine: Well, this onion is our time line so peel back accordingly.
Nick: Yeah, well that's tourist trash.
Sara: Thirteen million pounds per day. I went to the recycling forum in March.
Catherine: The landfill manager says this is the active cell. Spotter says cell lift moves forward 20 feet a day. That puts the active cell right ... pretty much in front of us.
Nick: Man! You find the best evidence in the nastiest places.
Catherine: You are what you throw away.
Sara: It's like peeling an onion in peoples' lives.
Catherine: Well, this onion is our time line so peel back accordingly.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Heard you got to be superhero today.
Doc Robbins: I consider myself a superhero every day.
Doc Robbins: I consider myself a superhero every day.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Cans are on private property, it's not trash day, how did you get consent?
Catherine: I talked to the president of the owner's association.
Nick: What'd you threaten her with?
Catherine: A return visit.
Catherine: I talked to the president of the owner's association.
Nick: What'd you threaten her with?
Catherine: A return visit.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine (about the vic): What kind of identifying characteristics do we have?
Doc Robbins: Second degree midline episiotomy scar.
Catherine: Well, that narrows it down to more than half the women in this country who gave birth.
Doc Robbins: But there might be one other thing. At first I thought appendectomy, but check out her x-ray. She's had surgery. Some kind of implant at the L4-L5 interspace. I'll know more when I open her up.
Catherine: You're my hero, Al.
Doc Robbins: Second degree midline episiotomy scar.
Catherine: Well, that narrows it down to more than half the women in this country who gave birth.
Doc Robbins: But there might be one other thing. At first I thought appendectomy, but check out her x-ray. She's had surgery. Some kind of implant at the L4-L5 interspace. I'll know more when I open her up.
Catherine: You're my hero, Al.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: An artificial spinal disc. If you can recreate a spine the possibilities are endless.
Catherine: I thought, uh, disc replacement surgery involved fusing bone to bone.
Doc Robbins: Eh, typically, but it can limit mobility. With that little disc, your body doesn't know the difference. Matches range of motion, flexibility and an axial rotation of a normal spine. Still in clinical trials. Less than a thousand surgeries have been performed in this country.
Catherine: Oh, well, I like those odds.
Doc Robbins: You'll like this even better. Medium endplate, size 12, polyethylene component and a six-degree lordosis angle. Narrowed it down to one. Amy Ennis. Austin, Texas.
Catherine: Tourist?
Doc Robbins (chuckles): That's for you to find out.
Catherine: I thought, uh, disc replacement surgery involved fusing bone to bone.
Doc Robbins: Eh, typically, but it can limit mobility. With that little disc, your body doesn't know the difference. Matches range of motion, flexibility and an axial rotation of a normal spine. Still in clinical trials. Less than a thousand surgeries have been performed in this country.
Catherine: Oh, well, I like those odds.
Doc Robbins: You'll like this even better. Medium endplate, size 12, polyethylene component and a six-degree lordosis angle. Narrowed it down to one. Amy Ennis. Austin, Texas.
Catherine: Tourist?
Doc Robbins (chuckles): That's for you to find out.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: You know it's illegal in the state of Nevada to have venomous snakes?
Marty: If you handle them correctly, snakes are harmless. I know what I'm doing.
Grissom: Yeah, that's what we're afraid of.
Marty: If you handle them correctly, snakes are harmless. I know what I'm doing.
Grissom: Yeah, that's what we're afraid of.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Marty: You going to arrest me for blurring the lines?
Grissom: No. We were leaning towards murder.
Grissom: No. We were leaning towards murder.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: Have you ever seen anything like this before?
Catherine: How it manifested? No. But the cause? (beat) People throw things away every day.
Catherine: How it manifested? No. But the cause? (beat) People throw things away every day.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: You ever buy a brand-new car, Griss?
Grissom: Depreciation doesn't make it a logical investment.
Warrick: It's not about logic. It's about that smell. There's nothing like the smell of a brand-new car.
Grissom: Depreciation doesn't make it a logical investment.
Warrick: It's not about logic. It's about that smell. There's nothing like the smell of a brand-new car.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Detective Vega: You don't just spontaneously develop a fatal head wound.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Diane Lambart lived two hours away. If she drove into Vegas with the intention of using it as a murder weapon. I'd imagine she'd be pretty stressed.
Dr. Robbins: Kamikaze Grandma.
Dr. Robbins: Kamikaze Grandma.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?
Greg: Weird, ha?
Grissom: Well, I race cockroaches.
Greg: Weird, ha?
Grissom: Well, I race cockroaches.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: This guy has been in Mat's house.
Grissom: What is this?
Warrick: Mat's team won this three years ago. This trophy was given to the rec center last year. I found all this stuff in Jacobs' car. Look at this.
Grissom: If this is evidence, it needs to be tagged and cataloged.
Warrick: This is the same guy who shot Mat's daughter in the head and he's walking around laughing at us.
Grissom: Can you prove that?
Warrick: What is this? I've been putting guys away like this for years. And now that it matters it's like that you're holding me back here.
Grissom: Your job, Warrick, is to process the evidence. Objectively and without prejudice.
Warrick: I'm so tired of hearing that. I've heard it a million times. I can't be like you, I'm not a robot, ok? I, actually, care about this people.
Grissom: Y'know what? You're not working on this case anymore. I have another assignment for you tomorrow.
Warrick: Keep it.
Grissom: What is this?
Warrick: Mat's team won this three years ago. This trophy was given to the rec center last year. I found all this stuff in Jacobs' car. Look at this.
Grissom: If this is evidence, it needs to be tagged and cataloged.
Warrick: This is the same guy who shot Mat's daughter in the head and he's walking around laughing at us.
Grissom: Can you prove that?
Warrick: What is this? I've been putting guys away like this for years. And now that it matters it's like that you're holding me back here.
Grissom: Your job, Warrick, is to process the evidence. Objectively and without prejudice.
Warrick: I'm so tired of hearing that. I've heard it a million times. I can't be like you, I'm not a robot, ok? I, actually, care about this people.
Grissom: Y'know what? You're not working on this case anymore. I have another assignment for you tomorrow.
Warrick: Keep it.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation