CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Hodges: Anytime you need a sniffer to detect it, my nose has the cyanide gene.
Grissom: What type of gene turned your nose brown? (referring to the squirrel he just necropsied) Go ahead. You can sew him up. (gets up and leaves)
Hodges: Will do. And I'll notify next of kin, too. (chuckles, then grimaces at the open body cavity of the squirrel)
Grissom: What type of gene turned your nose brown? (referring to the squirrel he just necropsied) Go ahead. You can sew him up. (gets up and leaves)
Hodges: Will do. And I'll notify next of kin, too. (chuckles, then grimaces at the open body cavity of the squirrel)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins (looking at the dead deer with a tutu on): Doe. A deer. A female deer...
David: It's not funny.
Doc Robbins: It's a little funny. (starts taking pictures)
David: Doc, I already took photos.
Doc Robbins: Not for my scrap book, 'ya didn't.
David: This is animal abuse.
Doc Robbins: The killing? Sure. The dress? Pet owners put sweaters on their dog's.
David: It's not funny.
Doc Robbins: It's a little funny. (starts taking pictures)
David: Doc, I already took photos.
Doc Robbins: Not for my scrap book, 'ya didn't.
David: This is animal abuse.
Doc Robbins: The killing? Sure. The dress? Pet owners put sweaters on their dog's.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins (to David while doing the autopsy on the deer): Alcohol. Think he had to get her liquored up?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Doc Robbins: Together in death, as they were in life.
David: A guy abuses wildlife, then bursts into flames. I call it karma.
Doc Robbins: No physical signs that their relationship was anything other than platonic.
David: I mean, we're the ones encroaching on their habitat and you don't see them shooting us.
Doc Robbins: Consider this justice for Bambi's mother.
David: A guy abuses wildlife, then bursts into flames. I call it karma.
Doc Robbins: No physical signs that their relationship was anything other than platonic.
David: I mean, we're the ones encroaching on their habitat and you don't see them shooting us.
Doc Robbins: Consider this justice for Bambi's mother.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
David: Three pairs of sunglasses. (pulls something out of the victim's ear) Ear plugs.
Grissom: And that David, is how you make it dark and quiet when you sleep on the street.
Grissom: And that David, is how you make it dark and quiet when you sleep on the street.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Officer (about his girlfriend taking his pepper spray): But she dances nights at the Acid Strip.
Nick (chuckles): What, does she clip the can to her g-string?
Brass: That'd be a deterrent to stuffing a tip in there, wouldn't it?
Nick (chuckles): What, does she clip the can to her g-string?
Brass: That'd be a deterrent to stuffing a tip in there, wouldn't it?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Looks like Caddyshack out here. Invasion of the ground squirrels.
Warrick (taking a photo of a dead squirrel): Yeah, I got a few casualties out here.
Warrick (taking a photo of a dead squirrel): Yeah, I got a few casualties out here.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: You find anything on the foil?
Hodges: Bacon grease and trace amounts ketchup, both things that you find at a barbeque, but not the kind that you're dealing with.
Hodges: Bacon grease and trace amounts ketchup, both things that you find at a barbeque, but not the kind that you're dealing with.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Is it bad when you start thinking none of this sounds too weird anymore?
Warrick: Oh, it's a bit too freaky how these cases are connected.
Greg: Grissom, you always say there is no such thing as coincidence...
Grissom: There isn't.
Catherine: Oh, come on. You got the guy who bursts into flames, just divorced from the woman who was fighting squirrel wars with the Martins...
Greg: ... Who had hired the exterminator who's drugs were turning everybody's blood green.
Nick: And one of those green blooded customers was Evelyn, our lady of tinfoil, who was the last person that Kyle Plank touched before he died.
Grissom: There's one more connection. Evelyn had 200 bucks, and I'm thinking that when she was run over, she was on her way to buy more drugs. I think that Wayne Connor was with Dave Boer waiting for the money to arrive.
Greg: Only Evelyn never showed up, Connor lost his temper and Boer killed him in a fight.
Warrick: And it all started with Kyle Plank, lonely guy with a gut full of moonshine.
Grissom: String theory.
Nick: Grissom theory. This is better than a bedtime story.
Grissom: String theory is "the theory of everything." Quantum mechanics tells us about the very small. The theory of relativity explains the immense. String theory ties it all together. It proposes that atomic particles are made up of infinitesimal vibrating loops of energy or strings. Each string vibrates at its own frequency, like on a violin, producing notes and these notes make up everything in the universe.
Catherine: Cosmic symphony.
Grissom: These strings have been combining and recombining ever since the Big Bang. So, the connections between our victims or any of us are not that extraordinary.
Nick: But every one of them thought they were alone.
<
Warrick: Oh, it's a bit too freaky how these cases are connected.
Greg: Grissom, you always say there is no such thing as coincidence...
Grissom: There isn't.
Catherine: Oh, come on. You got the guy who bursts into flames, just divorced from the woman who was fighting squirrel wars with the Martins...
Greg: ... Who had hired the exterminator who's drugs were turning everybody's blood green.
Nick: And one of those green blooded customers was Evelyn, our lady of tinfoil, who was the last person that Kyle Plank touched before he died.
Grissom: There's one more connection. Evelyn had 200 bucks, and I'm thinking that when she was run over, she was on her way to buy more drugs. I think that Wayne Connor was with Dave Boer waiting for the money to arrive.
Greg: Only Evelyn never showed up, Connor lost his temper and Boer killed him in a fight.
Warrick: And it all started with Kyle Plank, lonely guy with a gut full of moonshine.
Grissom: String theory.
Nick: Grissom theory. This is better than a bedtime story.
Grissom: String theory is "the theory of everything." Quantum mechanics tells us about the very small. The theory of relativity explains the immense. String theory ties it all together. It proposes that atomic particles are made up of infinitesimal vibrating loops of energy or strings. Each string vibrates at its own frequency, like on a violin, producing notes and these notes make up everything in the universe.
Catherine: Cosmic symphony.
Grissom: These strings have been combining and recombining ever since the Big Bang. So, the connections between our victims or any of us are not that extraordinary.
Nick: But every one of them thought they were alone.
<
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Stewart Lytle: [watching Wendy perform an experiment and thinking out loud] Beautiful people...doing high-tech police work. This could be a series.
Nick Stokes: I don't think so.
Nick Stokes: I don't think so.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(Hodges has been doing tests on the absorption of tampons)
Wendy: That time of the month, huh? I know, picking out the right feminine product can be so hard.
Hodges: You're gonna mock me or help me?
Wendy: I have to choose?
Hodges: I can't get this to work!
Wendy: Well that's probably 'cause you don't have the right equipment. ... You don't, do you?
Hodges: Haha, you're lucky you're cute. Annabelle Fundt was dosing her tampons with vodka.
Wendy: Does that even work?
Hodges: Kinda, even at their most absorbent, tampons only hold about 19 grams of fluid or about 20 milliliters.
Wendy: Well, that's enough for aunt flow but that is not going to get an alcoholic drunk.
Hodges: Who's Aunt flow? (Wendy gives him a look) Oh! All right, maybe she was just doing it to take the edge off but what I can't figure out is how she managed it because every time I throw one in here, it turns into Spongebob Squarepants.
Wendy: You don't take it out of the applicator first. Gimme! (Hodges gives her a tampon) Thanks. Watch and learn. (she makes it clear how it works) There, that's why they call it an applicator.
Hodges: I always wondered how that worked.
Wendy: All men do.
Wendy: That time of the month, huh? I know, picking out the right feminine product can be so hard.
Hodges: You're gonna mock me or help me?
Wendy: I have to choose?
Hodges: I can't get this to work!
Wendy: Well that's probably 'cause you don't have the right equipment. ... You don't, do you?
Hodges: Haha, you're lucky you're cute. Annabelle Fundt was dosing her tampons with vodka.
Wendy: Does that even work?
Hodges: Kinda, even at their most absorbent, tampons only hold about 19 grams of fluid or about 20 milliliters.
Wendy: Well, that's enough for aunt flow but that is not going to get an alcoholic drunk.
Hodges: Who's Aunt flow? (Wendy gives him a look) Oh! All right, maybe she was just doing it to take the edge off but what I can't figure out is how she managed it because every time I throw one in here, it turns into Spongebob Squarepants.
Wendy: You don't take it out of the applicator first. Gimme! (Hodges gives her a tampon) Thanks. Watch and learn. (she makes it clear how it works) There, that's why they call it an applicator.
Hodges: I always wondered how that worked.
Wendy: All men do.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Then the rubber chicken was inserted port-mortem.
Dr. Robbins: And thus not the cause of death.
Grissom: Might have been a gag. Sorry.
Dr. Robbins: And thus not the cause of death.
Grissom: Might have been a gag. Sorry.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: So, that's it. Robot-man, closet-stalker-guy gets his package grabbed and a TV star dies.
Nick: It is the classic story.
Nick: It is the classic story.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom (on the phone): Detective Flores is keeping us in the loop. We're gonna do lunch.
Catherine: Okay, well, don't go all Hollywood on us. See 'ya soon. (hangs up)
Catherine: Okay, well, don't go all Hollywood on us. See 'ya soon. (hangs up)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Hodges: Bud didn't marry Annabelle. Bud married Natasha pretending to be Annabelle.
Catherine: Well, one thing's for sure. Neither one of them is pretending to be dead.
Catherine: Well, one thing's for sure. Neither one of them is pretending to be dead.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass (about Annabelle): Y'know, it's a tragic coincidence that she died two days after you qualified for half of what she's worth.
Bud: Really? I thought that was the bright side.
Bud: Really? I thought that was the bright side.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
David: Sorry for the delay, it's a paparazzi jungle downstairs.
Grissom: Yeah, well Doc Robbins isn't the only one with a scrapbook.
Grissom: Yeah, well Doc Robbins isn't the only one with a scrapbook.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick [about a bloodstain]: Hey, what does this look like to you?
Grissom: Hermaphrodite on rollerskates.
Catherine: A puppy.
Grissom: Hermaphrodite on rollerskates.
Catherine: A puppy.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Looks like a comedy writer came out of the closet.
Catherine: I doubt if it's the first time.
Catherine: I doubt if it's the first time.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Bud: Whoa, hey! Easy on the Emmy there buddy.
Grissom: Is that what this is?
Grissom: Is that what this is?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Crime scene at a funeral! Can't get much deader than this.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom [to Warrick]: What happened?
Warrick: I don't know. My head is throbbing.
Grissom: Is that your gun?
Warrick: Yeah.
Grissom: Are those your cuffs?
Warrick: I guess so.
Grissom: We need to get you a lawyer.
Warrick: Grissom...
Brass: Don't say another word.
Warrick: Jim...
Brass: Just get on your feet.
Warrick: I don't know what happened.
Brass: Hey, it's for your own good. Just keep your mouth shut until we get to the station.... You couldn't just let it go.
Warrick: I don't know. My head is throbbing.
Grissom: Is that your gun?
Warrick: Yeah.
Grissom: Are those your cuffs?
Warrick: I guess so.
Grissom: We need to get you a lawyer.
Warrick: Grissom...
Brass: Don't say another word.
Warrick: Jim...
Brass: Just get on your feet.
Warrick: I don't know what happened.
Brass: Hey, it's for your own good. Just keep your mouth shut until we get to the station.... You couldn't just let it go.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine [to Greg]: What is this? More research for your mob book? I hope you're not starting to admire those thugs.
Greg: I don't admire them, but I'm grateful.
Catherine: For what?
Greg: Well, for starters, my book is done. I have meetings with three different publishers out in L.A. and I fly out the day after tomorrow.
Greg: I don't admire them, but I'm grateful.
Catherine: For what?
Greg: Well, for starters, my book is done. I have meetings with three different publishers out in L.A. and I fly out the day after tomorrow.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: What if the killer used the victim's car to transport the body?
Nick: He drives the victim's own car back to the funeral home, stuffs the body in a double-decker coffin, hits a car wash, comes back cleans the office, then leaves us the keys. That's pretty considerate.
Grissom: Or very smart.
Nick: He drives the victim's own car back to the funeral home, stuffs the body in a double-decker coffin, hits a car wash, comes back cleans the office, then leaves us the keys. That's pretty considerate.
Grissom: Or very smart.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Warrick couldn't investigate Gedda himself, so he had the P.I do it for him. Archie tracked down thousands of photos, sound bite files, videos, everything's connected to Lou Gedda. I think Gedda caught Harper spying on him, killed him and had the mortician put the body in the double-decker casket.
Grissom (dials Warrick's phone, it goes straight to voicemail): Warrick, call me. Now! (hangs up and turns to Nick) Anybody hears from him, I wanna know.
Grissom (dials Warrick's phone, it goes straight to voicemail): Warrick, call me. Now! (hangs up and turns to Nick) Anybody hears from him, I wanna know.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom (to Warrick; answering his phone): Where the hell have you been?
Warrick: Grissom, I gotta talk with you.
Grissom: Where are you?!
Warrick: Pigalle.
Grissom: What are you thinking?
Warrick: I don't know. I don't know!
Grissom: You don't-- You don't know what?
Warrick: I don't know what I did here. I don't know what happened.
Warrick: Grissom, I gotta talk with you.
Grissom: Where are you?!
Warrick: Pigalle.
Grissom: What are you thinking?
Warrick: I don't know. I don't know!
Grissom: You don't-- You don't know what?
Warrick: I don't know what I did here. I don't know what happened.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
(Catherine and Nick see Warrick in the back of the cop car)
Catherine: The 419 went out as officer involved, no details.
Nick: Yeah, we got here as quick as we could.
Catherine: What the hell happened?
Grissom: Gedda's dead.
Undersheriff McKeen (after taking a long look at Warrick): Put your kits away. Day shift will be processing the scene. I.A's taking the case from here.
Catherine: The 419 went out as officer involved, no details.
Nick: Yeah, we got here as quick as we could.
Catherine: What the hell happened?
Grissom: Gedda's dead.
Undersheriff McKeen (after taking a long look at Warrick): Put your kits away. Day shift will be processing the scene. I.A's taking the case from here.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Ecklie [to Warrick]: Get a lawyer.
Warrick: I don't want one.
Ecklie: This isn't going away, Warrick. In 48 hours, they're gonna charge you.
Warrick: I wouldn't know what to tell a lawyer anyway.
Warrick: I don't want one.
Ecklie: This isn't going away, Warrick. In 48 hours, they're gonna charge you.
Warrick: I wouldn't know what to tell a lawyer anyway.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick (after Hodges was talking to I.A): I don't care, what'd you say?
Hodges: I said that I saw Warrick sitting alone in Grissom's office in the dark.
Nick: So what?
Hodges: He got a phone call and he got really pissed at the person that he was talking to.
Nick: So what?
Hodges: Then he was found an hour later in a pool of Gedda's blood.
Nick: Hey, you don't know what happened in there.
Hodges: Look, Nick, all I did was tell the truth as I saw it. That's what we're supposed to do, right?
Hodges: I said that I saw Warrick sitting alone in Grissom's office in the dark.
Nick: So what?
Hodges: He got a phone call and he got really pissed at the person that he was talking to.
Nick: So what?
Hodges: Then he was found an hour later in a pool of Gedda's blood.
Nick: Hey, you don't know what happened in there.
Hodges: Look, Nick, all I did was tell the truth as I saw it. That's what we're supposed to do, right?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine [to Warrick]: How 'ya holdin' up?
Warrick: That depends. Do you think I did it?
Catherine: I can't discuss the case.
Warrick: Yeah. I dunno, I think I'd just feel a lot better if I had a change of clothes. I hate being dressed like a convict.
Catherine: I'll take care of it. (takes his hand) Stay strong.
Warrick: That depends. Do you think I did it?
Catherine: I can't discuss the case.
Warrick: Yeah. I dunno, I think I'd just feel a lot better if I had a change of clothes. I hate being dressed like a convict.
Catherine: I'll take care of it. (takes his hand) Stay strong.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation