CSI - Crime Scene Investigation Quotes
Grissom: [to Dr. Gerard] What happened to you? You were a pioneer in forensic science. How many bad guys did you put away in Hennepin County?
Dr. Phillip Gerard: My share. How many innocent men have been locked away since then because of sloppy investigating shortcut forensics?
Grissom: You look for mistakes in any lab, you'll find them.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: I shouldn't be able to, Gil.
Grissom: Humans are fallible.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Not this fallible: compromised blood, sweetheart deals...
Grissom: No, no, no, no. You're subverting good evidence. These are good people.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: The accused is entitled to the best defense possible.
Grissom: The accused is entitled, yeah. He's a movie star, that's why he's entitled. He's killed two women. You know it. But you're willing to decimate these CSIs so that you can spoon-feed a jury into letting him walk.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: A jury believes me because of my reputation just like they do you.
Grissom: The difference is, Philip, I get the same paycheck regardless of what I testify to.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: I'm saying this as a friend. For the reputation of CSI, tell the D.A. to drop this, re-file down the road.
Grissom: What about the victims' families? Who's their friend? [Dr. Gerard doesn't answer] My guys will see you in court.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: My share. How many innocent men have been locked away since then because of sloppy investigating shortcut forensics?
Grissom: You look for mistakes in any lab, you'll find them.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: I shouldn't be able to, Gil.
Grissom: Humans are fallible.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Not this fallible: compromised blood, sweetheart deals...
Grissom: No, no, no, no. You're subverting good evidence. These are good people.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: The accused is entitled to the best defense possible.
Grissom: The accused is entitled, yeah. He's a movie star, that's why he's entitled. He's killed two women. You know it. But you're willing to decimate these CSIs so that you can spoon-feed a jury into letting him walk.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: A jury believes me because of my reputation just like they do you.
Grissom: The difference is, Philip, I get the same paycheck regardless of what I testify to.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: I'm saying this as a friend. For the reputation of CSI, tell the D.A. to drop this, re-file down the road.
Grissom: What about the victims' families? Who's their friend? [Dr. Gerard doesn't answer] My guys will see you in court.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: There was another guy in that room. That's, that's great. The defense has us moving so fast we can't make sense of our own evidence.
Grissom: That's what they want.
Grissom: That's what they want.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Brass: [when Tonya's body is found] Did, uh, Tom Haviland ever play a boxer? Girl's face looks like hamburger meat.
Grissom: Looks like uncontrollable rage to me.
Nick: Grissom, you might want to come down here.
Grissom: Just say it, Nick.
Nick: Beans and franks. Tonya's a man.
Grissom: Looks like that old Hollywood saying: "Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy." So, let's see Tom's in bed with what he thinks are two girls. He reaches down on one, becomes very confused. Most guys would have just cleared the room and gargled with whiskey. But Movie Boy, who brags about doing his own stunts, couldn't take the thought of having a man in his bed, so he freaked out.
Grissom: Looks like uncontrollable rage to me.
Nick: Grissom, you might want to come down here.
Grissom: Just say it, Nick.
Nick: Beans and franks. Tonya's a man.
Grissom: Looks like that old Hollywood saying: "Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy." So, let's see Tom's in bed with what he thinks are two girls. He reaches down on one, becomes very confused. Most guys would have just cleared the room and gargled with whiskey. But Movie Boy, who brags about doing his own stunts, couldn't take the thought of having a man in his bed, so he freaked out.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Dr. Phillip Gerard: [to Grissom] You're not running evidence. Or have you changed your mind? [Grissom doesn't say anything] By the way, tell your mother I say 'Hello' next time you talk. I was so impressed that night we all had dinner. The sign language... how you interpreted for her. Fluid, didn't miss a beat.
Grissom: What'd you do, subpoena my doctor?
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Knowing your genetic predisposition for hearing loss?
Grissom: You've become a bottom feeder, Philip.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Your work is dependent upon your five senses. The fact that you're losing one of yours wouldn't bode well for any evidence you introduced.
Grissom: You know, all those years I worked for you, you never got to know me at all, did you?
Grissom: What'd you do, subpoena my doctor?
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Knowing your genetic predisposition for hearing loss?
Grissom: You've become a bottom feeder, Philip.
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Your work is dependent upon your five senses. The fact that you're losing one of yours wouldn't bode well for any evidence you introduced.
Grissom: You know, all those years I worked for you, you never got to know me at all, did you?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: [to Nick] Remember, if you get stuck just maintain the same posture. If there's any adjustments, you're seen as squirming. It's going to make you look shifty.
Nick: Thanks, Cath. You know, I've done this before.
Catherine: Well, I've done it longer.
Nick: Thanks, Cath. You know, I've done this before.
Catherine: Well, I've done it longer.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[Catherine waits outside the courtroom on the bench and Nick comes out]
Nick: Damn!
Catherine: What?
Nick: Damn, damn, damn. I forgot to put case identifiers on my dice photos.
Catherine: Date, time and file number?
Nick: Yeah. [Catherine doesn't say anything] Don't look at me that way, okay? I wrote it down on the evidence envelope. I had to move fast. The casino manager wanted us out of there.
Catherine: The dice places Tom at the murder. Victim's blood mixed with his saliva.
Nick: Damn!
Catherine: What?
Nick: Damn, damn, damn. I forgot to put case identifiers on my dice photos.
Catherine: Date, time and file number?
Nick: Yeah. [Catherine doesn't say anything] Don't look at me that way, okay? I wrote it down on the evidence envelope. I had to move fast. The casino manager wanted us out of there.
Catherine: The dice places Tom at the murder. Victim's blood mixed with his saliva.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: I was sweating bullets looking at those photos.
Catherine: Did the judge exclude the dice?
Nick: No. No, just my credibility.
Catherine: Did the judge exclude the dice?
Nick: No. No, just my credibility.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: Damn! Why didn't I see that coming? Gambling?
Nick: Hey, we're all in Nevada. It's legal; don't worry about it.
Warrick: Legal doesn't matter in there. You know the judge is going to throw out our blood evidence, right?
Nick: Truth is, it is compromised, Warrick.
Warrick: The blood is fine. It's their methods that are dirty.
Nick: Hey, we're all in Nevada. It's legal; don't worry about it.
Warrick: Legal doesn't matter in there. You know the judge is going to throw out our blood evidence, right?
Nick: Truth is, it is compromised, Warrick.
Warrick: The blood is fine. It's their methods that are dirty.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Your guys didn't get any extended body photos?
Brass: Chest, hands, arms right there.
Grissom: I need lower extremities for comparison.
Brass: Hey, Marjorie Westcott blew in here and shut us down. She said if we wanted full body shots we were going to have to get a court order. So the D.A.'s working on it.
Grissom: When, between testimony?
Brass: No kidding. Meanwhile, we're presenting half a case to a judge.
Brass: Chest, hands, arms right there.
Grissom: I need lower extremities for comparison.
Brass: Hey, Marjorie Westcott blew in here and shut us down. She said if we wanted full body shots we were going to have to get a court order. So the D.A.'s working on it.
Grissom: When, between testimony?
Brass: No kidding. Meanwhile, we're presenting half a case to a judge.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Marjorie Westcott: [to Sara] You date... you and Hank. You share a subtle communication. Did he move the bra to where you might have wanted it?
Sara: I didn't want it anywhere. I collect evidence without emotion.
Marjorie Westcott: You do get emotionally involved, though with the men on your cases. Hank Peddigrew isn't the first time.
Sara: Excuse me?
Marjorie Westcott: A murder investigation at the residence of one Charles Renteria. Eyewitness stated he saw you and your supervisor Gil Grissom standing alone outside and you were touching him in a romantic gesture.
Sara: I brushed chalk from his face.
Marjorie Westcott: Is that what they're calling it now?
Prosecutor for CSI: Objection, your honor.
Sara: Drywall dust. We were looking for a body.
Marjorie Westcott: It's a fair question, your honor. Just how far will Ms. Sidle go on the evidence to please her boss, Gil Grissom, whether he returns her attentions or not?
Sara: I didn't want it anywhere. I collect evidence without emotion.
Marjorie Westcott: You do get emotionally involved, though with the men on your cases. Hank Peddigrew isn't the first time.
Sara: Excuse me?
Marjorie Westcott: A murder investigation at the residence of one Charles Renteria. Eyewitness stated he saw you and your supervisor Gil Grissom standing alone outside and you were touching him in a romantic gesture.
Sara: I brushed chalk from his face.
Marjorie Westcott: Is that what they're calling it now?
Prosecutor for CSI: Objection, your honor.
Sara: Drywall dust. We were looking for a body.
Marjorie Westcott: It's a fair question, your honor. Just how far will Ms. Sidle go on the evidence to please her boss, Gil Grissom, whether he returns her attentions or not?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine: Grissom... they're beating our heads in. Judge is going to dismiss... you can feel it.
Grissom: Don't get ahead of yourself.
Catherine: I'm not ahead of myself. I'm up there front and center taking hits along with the rest of CSI. You know, you've turned into a really lousy leader. I need your help, and you're on the sidelines.
Grissom: Don't get ahead of yourself.
Catherine: I'm not ahead of myself. I'm up there front and center taking hits along with the rest of CSI. You know, you've turned into a really lousy leader. I need your help, and you're on the sidelines.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Marjorie Westcott [to Catherine]: You took your clothes off for a living.
Catherine: For a very good living.
Catherine: For a very good living.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Dr. Phillip Gerard: Gil, good work.
Grissom: My team did it, Philip. I got good CSI's. [signs to Gerard] Oh, and, uh, my mother says "hello."
Grissom: My team did it, Philip. I got good CSI's. [signs to Gerard] Oh, and, uh, my mother says "hello."
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: Greg!
Greg: Yeah.
Grissom: Take off your shoes and socks.
Greg: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss.
Grissom: Your mother's maiden name was Hojem? Hojem is Norwegian, right?
Greg: That's right and you know my grandfather was tossed from Norway for getting my grandmother pregnant before they got married. To this day he still tells me, "Som man reder sa ligger man". [long pause] One must lie in the bed one has made.
Grissom: That's true. Right foot first, please.
Greg: Are you sure you want me to do this? Things could get loud in here!
Greg: Yeah.
Grissom: Take off your shoes and socks.
Greg: See, now we're getting into this whole strip forensics thing and I'm not too sure I can hang with that - even if you are my boss.
Grissom: Your mother's maiden name was Hojem? Hojem is Norwegian, right?
Greg: That's right and you know my grandfather was tossed from Norway for getting my grandmother pregnant before they got married. To this day he still tells me, "Som man reder sa ligger man". [long pause] One must lie in the bed one has made.
Grissom: That's true. Right foot first, please.
Greg: Are you sure you want me to do this? Things could get loud in here!
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: [Greg limps into Grissom's office wearing only socks] What did you do to me?
Grissom: You had a reaction.
Greg: I'm Hazmat meat. Quarantine, here I come. [Greg pulls off the socks and puts both his feet up on Grissom's desk. Grissom examines Greg's right foot]
Grissom: Your right foot, I swabbed with a placebo, regular tap water.
Greg: Yeah, well, I'm not worried about the right foot.
Grissom: Left foot...eumycotic dermatitis.
Greg: Oh, great. It's probably fatal.
Grissom: It's a mildew-induced skin rash.
Greg: [stares at Grissom] You infected me with mildew?
Grissom: Here. Hydrocortisone. Follow the directions, clear it right up.
Grissom: You had a reaction.
Greg: I'm Hazmat meat. Quarantine, here I come. [Greg pulls off the socks and puts both his feet up on Grissom's desk. Grissom examines Greg's right foot]
Grissom: Your right foot, I swabbed with a placebo, regular tap water.
Greg: Yeah, well, I'm not worried about the right foot.
Grissom: Left foot...eumycotic dermatitis.
Greg: Oh, great. It's probably fatal.
Grissom: It's a mildew-induced skin rash.
Greg: [stares at Grissom] You infected me with mildew?
Grissom: Here. Hydrocortisone. Follow the directions, clear it right up.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: Cath? You all right? Don't let him get to you like that.
Catherine: I was scared...and I still am. [Warrick puts his arms around Catherine] Don't tell anyone, okay?
Catherine: I was scared...and I still am. [Warrick puts his arms around Catherine] Don't tell anyone, okay?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: You know what's really sad? This wasn't just a murder. It was a hate crime. Kevin Marcus hated himself.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: There's, uh, something weird going on with the hairs from the ropes. Well, not weird. More like...hair-raising. (Grissom doesn't smile or laugh) Sorry, bad one.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: Okay, back to midgets.
Grissom: Nick? "Dwarves" or "little people."
Grissom: Nick? "Dwarves" or "little people."
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
[After Catherine was attacked at a crime scene, she fell into the victim's blood]
Catherine (to Warrick): Don't touch me, I'm evidence.
Catherine (to Warrick): Don't touch me, I'm evidence.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Sara: Is this some kind of convention?
Grissom: Little People Convention. Every year they come from all over the world to a designated city. Socialize, network. It's their Prom, Olympics, and New Year's Eve all rolled into one. (As they walk, a man in a wheelchair nearly runs into Nick)
Nick: Oh, hey. Excuse me.
Man: Don't think so, square jaw. (Grissom and Sara continue along the ballroom unaware of Nick's close encounter)
Sara: Grissom, how do you know this?
Grissom: I get the newsletter.
Grissom: Little People Convention. Every year they come from all over the world to a designated city. Socialize, network. It's their Prom, Olympics, and New Year's Eve all rolled into one. (As they walk, a man in a wheelchair nearly runs into Nick)
Nick: Oh, hey. Excuse me.
Man: Don't think so, square jaw. (Grissom and Sara continue along the ballroom unaware of Nick's close encounter)
Sara: Grissom, how do you know this?
Grissom: I get the newsletter.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Melanie Grace: My first IOLP convention -- I walk in, see 200 Dwarfs staring back at me and what goes through my head? "There's no way I look like these people." I ran.
Grissom: But you went back.
Melanie Grace: Eventually. I guess I realized it's nice to see eye-to-eye with someone.
Grissom: Mm.
Melanie Grace: I get the impression that's a little tough for you. "The freaks have looked at her in a secret way and tried to connect their eyes with hers as though to say, we know who you are. We are you."
Grissom (smiles): Faulkner.
Melanie Grace: Close. Another southern writer. Carson McCullers.
Grissom: I think we look for the differences in each other to prove that we're not alone.
Melanie Grace: What's yours? Your difference? (Grissom is silent) Mine's the worst. Random gene. Anyone can have a dwarf. Sometimes I've even seen terror in average-size people's eyes. I remind them that their little carbon copies might not be such a copy after all.
Grissom: Well, mine's genetic, progressive and impossible to predict.
Melanie Grace: And hard to notice ... unless you tell someone.
Grissom: But you went back.
Melanie Grace: Eventually. I guess I realized it's nice to see eye-to-eye with someone.
Grissom: Mm.
Melanie Grace: I get the impression that's a little tough for you. "The freaks have looked at her in a secret way and tried to connect their eyes with hers as though to say, we know who you are. We are you."
Grissom (smiles): Faulkner.
Melanie Grace: Close. Another southern writer. Carson McCullers.
Grissom: I think we look for the differences in each other to prove that we're not alone.
Melanie Grace: What's yours? Your difference? (Grissom is silent) Mine's the worst. Random gene. Anyone can have a dwarf. Sometimes I've even seen terror in average-size people's eyes. I remind them that their little carbon copies might not be such a copy after all.
Grissom: Well, mine's genetic, progressive and impossible to predict.
Melanie Grace: And hard to notice ... unless you tell someone.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Melanie Grace: Does he ever talk?
Sara: Yeah. At, uh, random intervals.
Grissom: I was admiring your reaching tool.
Melanie Grace: I have one I use to wipe my tush with. Would you like to take a look at that, too?
Sara: Yeah. At, uh, random intervals.
Grissom: I was admiring your reaching tool.
Melanie Grace: I have one I use to wipe my tush with. Would you like to take a look at that, too?
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg (grumbling about Grissom): You know, I hate it when he does that. I like to make a presentation, you know?
Nick: So, present.
Greg: Eh, forget it.
Nick: So, present.
Greg: Eh, forget it.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Nick: How long for DNA?
Greg: Well, give me something to compare it to. Get me the fiancée's blood.
Nick: Well, I can't just give you her blood. That takes a court order.
Greg: I'm open 24 hours.
Greg: Well, give me something to compare it to. Get me the fiancée's blood.
Nick: Well, I can't just give you her blood. That takes a court order.
Greg: I'm open 24 hours.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Catherine [to Warrick]: Hey, um, hand me a swab, would you?
Warrick: You know I could do this for you.
Catherine: Not going to hurt any less. (Catherine takes a swab from the cut on her head)
Warrick: You know I could do this for you.
Catherine: Not going to hurt any less. (Catherine takes a swab from the cut on her head)
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Warrick: Two guys break and enter and get into some kind of an altercation.
Catherine: One ends up killing the other.
David: And almost Catherine. That had to be scary, huh?
Catherine: I didn't have time to be scared, David
Catherine: One ends up killing the other.
David: And almost Catherine. That had to be scary, huh?
Catherine: I didn't have time to be scared, David
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom: There's a theory in art that the Mona Lisa was really a feminized version of Leonardo Da Vinci himself.
Sara: Concept suggests ... Deep down we're all narcissists?
Grissom: Yeah. What attracts us the most is ourselves.
Sara: Concept suggests ... Deep down we're all narcissists?
Grissom: Yeah. What attracts us the most is ourselves.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Archie: Is that who I think it is?
Grissom: Who?
Archie: Toby Arcane. "Freak man".
Grissom: What makes him a "freak" besides that shirt?
Archie: All I can say he's not for the faint of heart.
Grissom: Who?
Archie: Toby Arcane. "Freak man".
Grissom: What makes him a "freak" besides that shirt?
Archie: All I can say he's not for the faint of heart.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation
Greg: Hey, I hear you're cheating on me with an out-of-state DNA analyst.
Catherine: Apples and oranges, Greg. Fifteen-year-old hair samples no roots, room-temperature storage.
Greg: Room temp?
Catherine: Yeah, that's how we stored hair evidence back then. Microscopy was king.
Greg: Really? I thought Elvis was king.
Catherine: And you are how old?
Greg: Age is irrelevant in our relationship.
Catherine: Maybe so, but face it, Greg you just don't have the equipment.
Catherine: Apples and oranges, Greg. Fifteen-year-old hair samples no roots, room-temperature storage.
Greg: Room temp?
Catherine: Yeah, that's how we stored hair evidence back then. Microscopy was king.
Greg: Really? I thought Elvis was king.
Catherine: And you are how old?
Greg: Age is irrelevant in our relationship.
Catherine: Maybe so, but face it, Greg you just don't have the equipment.
TV Show: CSI - Crime Scene Investigation