Daria Quotes
Jean Michel: [trying to hypnotize Daria, while Quinn watches] You are safe and calm. Feeling a warm, gentle breeze. Every bone in your body is relaxing. Easy, easy. At the count of ten, you will tell me everything you are feeling with no resistance.
Quinn: [accidentally hypnotized] Oh, Caesar! Please, don't poison me. I could love you, but those togas make your butt look so big.
Daria: Oh, God.
Quinn: And what's with that headband? Olive leaves are so B.C.
Jean Michel: It looks like she's experiencing a past life regression.
Daria: You've got the regression part right.
Quinn: Help! Help! Someone help me! Some king wants to kill me for loving some soldier or something, before I've had time to pass on my secret formula for eyeliner. Oh, Caesar, you big idiot! Do something!
Daria: Impressive grasp of history, but she forgot the part where they all board Noah's ark for a Caribbean cruise.
Jean Michel: Daria, I was afraid you had some rather deep-seated problems, but I must say, you're remarkably well adjusted.... considering.
Quinn: You'd think someone would have invented eyeliner before me, but no, I, Cleopatra have to come up with all my beauty products on my own! What a hard life!
Daria: At the count of ten, I will snap my fingers, and hopefully remember none of this.
Quinn: [accidentally hypnotized] Oh, Caesar! Please, don't poison me. I could love you, but those togas make your butt look so big.
Daria: Oh, God.
Quinn: And what's with that headband? Olive leaves are so B.C.
Jean Michel: It looks like she's experiencing a past life regression.
Daria: You've got the regression part right.
Quinn: Help! Help! Someone help me! Some king wants to kill me for loving some soldier or something, before I've had time to pass on my secret formula for eyeliner. Oh, Caesar, you big idiot! Do something!
Daria: Impressive grasp of history, but she forgot the part where they all board Noah's ark for a Caribbean cruise.
Jean Michel: Daria, I was afraid you had some rather deep-seated problems, but I must say, you're remarkably well adjusted.... considering.
Quinn: You'd think someone would have invented eyeliner before me, but no, I, Cleopatra have to come up with all my beauty products on my own! What a hard life!
Daria: At the count of ten, I will snap my fingers, and hopefully remember none of this.
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Quinn: [on the phone] Oh no, oh my God, oh no. Accessory emergency Stacy, I have to go. No Stacy, it's not you. It's not. It's not! Okay fine, it is you, bye!
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Sandi: As president of the fashion club, I'm calling an emergency meeting right now.
Stacy: But Sandi! I swear this shirt is 100% cotton. It just looks like a blend!
Sandi: Stacy, if you're finished with your unsolicited outburst on fiber content, I'd like to call your attention to the fact that we're surrounded by moving fashion violations!
Stacy: But Sandi! I swear this shirt is 100% cotton. It just looks like a blend!
Sandi: Stacy, if you're finished with your unsolicited outburst on fiber content, I'd like to call your attention to the fact that we're surrounded by moving fashion violations!
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Quinn: But he's supposed to pick us up at the mall.
Daria: He's discussing that with the car right now. But the car seems to be saying you're taking the bus.
Quinn : The what?
Daria: The bus. It's like a bigger car, only with old men sleeping sitting up. At least I hope they're sleeping.
Daria: He's discussing that with the car right now. But the car seems to be saying you're taking the bus.
Quinn : The what?
Daria: The bus. It's like a bigger car, only with old men sleeping sitting up. At least I hope they're sleeping.
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Tiffany: I can't believe no guy would give us a ride.
Stacy: Maybe we shouldn't make them wait in the car anymore while we shop. Remember last summer when Jeffy got all dehydrated and his tongue was hanging out and stuff?
Stacy: Maybe we shouldn't make them wait in the car anymore while we shop. Remember last summer when Jeffy got all dehydrated and his tongue was hanging out and stuff?
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Stacy: You know I was thinking, if people in really poor countries can't get food, does that mean they can't get diet soda either?
Tiffany: But then how do they stay thin?
Sandi: Stacy, you were what?
Stacy: Nothing.
Tiffany: But then how do they stay thin?
Sandi: Stacy, you were what?
Stacy: Nothing.
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Ashley Amber: Gee, I don't remember seeing you guys before. Are you friends of Brittany?
Jane: Brittany?
Ashley Amber: You know, the one who this party is for.
Daria: Party?
Ashley Amber: Yes, party. For Brittany. Because she's becoming an honor student.
Jane: Brittany?
Jane: Brittany?
Ashley Amber: You know, the one who this party is for.
Daria: Party?
Ashley Amber: Yes, party. For Brittany. Because she's becoming an honor student.
Jane: Brittany?
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Daria: Relax. She's in the bathroom, marveling at its many wonders.
Bobby: Cool. Hey, is Quinn, you know, seeing anyone?
Daria: Just a dermatologist for that rash.
Bobby: Cool. Hey, is Quinn, you know, seeing anyone?
Daria: Just a dermatologist for that rash.
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Trent: Can't. Practice starts at seven.
Jane: Trent, it's nine.
Trent: Hm. I'd better head out.
Jane: Trent, it's nine.
Trent: Hm. I'd better head out.
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Daria: Do you want to come in?
Tom: No! There are girls in there rubbing stuff on each other's cheeks and making animal noises. I got kind of scared.
Daria: That's just the opening rites of the Blushathon. At least you got out before the rhythmic chanting.
Tom: Oh, yeah, I think I saw that on the Discovery Channel.
Tom: No! There are girls in there rubbing stuff on each other's cheeks and making animal noises. I got kind of scared.
Daria: That's just the opening rites of the Blushathon. At least you got out before the rhythmic chanting.
Tom: Oh, yeah, I think I saw that on the Discovery Channel.
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Trent: Hey, you know, about Tom and all; it'll be okay.
Jane: Yeah, some part of me knows that. Some part of me is actually saying that breaking up is right.
Trent: Maybe it is.
Jane: So how come every five minutes I feel like I'm going to throw up?
Trent: I don't know. You haven't been eating out of the refrigerator again, have you?
Jane: Yeah, some part of me knows that. Some part of me is actually saying that breaking up is right.
Trent: Maybe it is.
Jane: So how come every five minutes I feel like I'm going to throw up?
Trent: I don't know. You haven't been eating out of the refrigerator again, have you?
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Mack: Ms. Li, are you sure you want to do this?
Ms. Li: Just what are you saying, Mr. MacKenzie? It's unethical? Immoral? In direct conflict with my role as an educator?
Mack: Well, yeah, but mostly I was thinking I'm the only one on the team who can count by halves.
Ms. Li: Just what are you saying, Mr. MacKenzie? It's unethical? Immoral? In direct conflict with my role as an educator?
Mack: Well, yeah, but mostly I was thinking I'm the only one on the team who can count by halves.
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Daria: Hmm... lot of flowers. And chocolates. Did you come down with a debilitating illness and forget to share the good news?
Quinn: Daria, it's not like I ask guys to buy me presents. I merely suggest.
Quinn: Daria, it's not like I ask guys to buy me presents. I merely suggest.
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Daria: Uh, well.... Tom and I have been going out for about six months, and-
Helen: Oh. Um.... Daria, sometimes we may think we're ready for something and it won't change anything, but we're really not, and it changes everything, and in the rush to grow up we sometime forget how precious are the fleeting years before adulthood's cares-
Daria: It's not about sex.
Helen: Thank God! I mean, "Oh, I see."
Helen: Oh. Um.... Daria, sometimes we may think we're ready for something and it won't change anything, but we're really not, and it changes everything, and in the rush to grow up we sometime forget how precious are the fleeting years before adulthood's cares-
Daria: It's not about sex.
Helen: Thank God! I mean, "Oh, I see."
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Tiffany: Stacy, what time is the Fashion Club meeting today?
Stacy: There is no meeting.
Tiffany: How co-
Stacy: How come?! Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of doing all the work while you just sit there. I tried my best, and even if it wasn't as good as Sandi's or Quinn's, a chain is only as strong as its weakest round thingy, and you refused to lift one freakin' finger! I'm through running the Fashion Club all by myself while you [imitates Tiffany] stare.... in the mirror.... and talk.... about yourself.... [normal voice] and I, I, I quit!
Tiffany: Hmm, maybe I should quit, too.
Stacy: There is no meeting.
Tiffany: How co-
Stacy: How come?! Because I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of doing all the work while you just sit there. I tried my best, and even if it wasn't as good as Sandi's or Quinn's, a chain is only as strong as its weakest round thingy, and you refused to lift one freakin' finger! I'm through running the Fashion Club all by myself while you [imitates Tiffany] stare.... in the mirror.... and talk.... about yourself.... [normal voice] and I, I, I quit!
Tiffany: Hmm, maybe I should quit, too.
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Trent: Hey.
Jane: Let me guess: You woke up at four this afternoon and couldn't get back to sleep.
Trent: It's not just that.
Jane: Let me guess: You woke up at four this afternoon and couldn't get back to sleep.
Trent: It's not just that.
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[Something is stuck in the garbage disposal, and Jake can't reach it]
Jake: Hey, Daria. You've got small hands.
Daria: But my big brain tells me not to stick them in garbage disposals.
Jake: Hey, Daria. You've got small hands.
Daria: But my big brain tells me not to stick them in garbage disposals.
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Quinn: Why don't we do what we do best?
Sandi: Quinn, no one is going to pay us to eat carrot sticks.
Sandi: Quinn, no one is going to pay us to eat carrot sticks.
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Helen: [on the phone with her sister] Oh Lord, Rita, it's a new millennium. When will people get rid of these outmoded ideas about sex? [to Quinn] Where's your sister?
Quinn: In her room.
Helen: Is Tom with her?
Quinn: Mom! I'm not J. Edgar Winter!
Quinn: In her room.
Helen: Is Tom with her?
Quinn: Mom! I'm not J. Edgar Winter!
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Daria: Okay. We know Mr. O'Neill assigned a play, and you're pretty sure the title didn't contain the word "alien." Do you remember anything else?
Joey: Uh, I think the guy on the cover was wearing tights.
Daria: Hmm. Since there are no wrestling dramas on the syllabus, I'm guessing Shakespeare.
Jeffy: Wait, I remember now. He's a stalker. He follows girls home from parties and peeks in their windows.
Daria: Romeo and Juliet.
Joey: Uh, I think the guy on the cover was wearing tights.
Daria: Hmm. Since there are no wrestling dramas on the syllabus, I'm guessing Shakespeare.
Jeffy: Wait, I remember now. He's a stalker. He follows girls home from parties and peeks in their windows.
Daria: Romeo and Juliet.
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Sandi: [gasps] Did you hear that? Oh, my gosh! Quinn just admitted that weird girl is her sister!
Stacy: Well, um, of course she is, Sandi. We knew that.
Tiffany: We were just being polite about it.
Stacy: Well, um, of course she is, Sandi. We knew that.
Tiffany: We were just being polite about it.
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Wind: Oh no! What happened to the gazebo?
Jane: What gazebo?
Wind: That's where Mom and Dad took us when we were born to decide our names. You've got to fix it!
Jane: Um, Wind? I don't how to break this to you but I don't think Mommy and Daddy will be bringing us home any new brothers or sisters.
Trent: Hm, bummer.
Jane: What gazebo?
Wind: That's where Mom and Dad took us when we were born to decide our names. You've got to fix it!
Jane: Um, Wind? I don't how to break this to you but I don't think Mommy and Daddy will be bringing us home any new brothers or sisters.
Trent: Hm, bummer.
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Jane: Money. Money, money. I love money. I'd shovel it down my throat if I could.
Daria: You're kidding, right?
Jane: Of course, Daria. I'd chew it slowly and stop when I felt full.
Daria: You're kidding, right?
Jane: Of course, Daria. I'd chew it slowly and stop when I felt full.
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Jane: Well, I don't think you're giving Tom enough credit. He never said an unkind word to my parents.
Daria: He never met your parents.
Jane: Oh yeah. I don't suppose you could get your father to go off to Greece for six months to sketch the sunset.
Daria: He never met your parents.
Jane: Oh yeah. I don't suppose you could get your father to go off to Greece for six months to sketch the sunset.
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Tiffany: This is the hardest and most important decision you'll ever have to make.
Quinn: I know! Stacy, do you still have that Magic Eight Ball?
Quinn: I know! Stacy, do you still have that Magic Eight Ball?
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Jane: Hey, if I didn't have the nerve to pick up guys, you wouldn't have a boyfriend.
Daria: Oh great. I'm not going to have to date this guy now, am I?
Jane and Tom: Hey!
Daria: Oh great. I'm not going to have to date this guy now, am I?
Jane and Tom: Hey!
TV Show: Daria