Dave the Barbarian Quotes
[Fang, after becoming civilized, decides to clothe all of the naked animals in Udrogoth.]
Fang: It'll be even better once I get dresses on all these fish!
Fang: It'll be even better once I get dresses on all these fish!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Fang: Here, little ladybug. I made you a dress!
Ladybug: Nice material! Is it chiffon?
Ladybug: Nice material! Is it chiffon?
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Fang has made a moat for Udrogoth Castle and turned it into a bug-feeding trough]
Dave: They're in my pants!
Dave: They're in my pants!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Storyteller: Bugle Beetles! These terrible insects are famous for their unstoppable wrath!
Dumb Beetle: We're gonna smash things up good, huh? [Chuckles.]
Dumber Beetle: We're gonna smash things up real good! [Laughs.]
Storyteller: They're also famous for being about as smart as the stuff you scoop out of a pumpkin.
Dumb Beetle: We're gonna smash things up good, huh? [Chuckles.]
Dumber Beetle: We're gonna smash things up real good! [Laughs.]
Storyteller: They're also famous for being about as smart as the stuff you scoop out of a pumpkin.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[The Royal Family sees the invading Bugle Beetle herd.]
Dave: I'll go get bug spray. I think there's some in northern China!
Dave: I'll go get bug spray. I think there's some in northern China!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Osiwdge tries to defeat a Bugle Beetle with his magic.]
Oswidge: Hold your horses, bigfella, I gotta check the owner's manual for this wand. Ah, here it is. Destroy: see obliterate. Obliterate: see Destroy. Dang it!
Oswidge: Hold your horses, bigfella, I gotta check the owner's manual for this wand. Ah, here it is. Destroy: see obliterate. Obliterate: see Destroy. Dang it!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Dumb Beetle: Is it just me, or does The Great Destructor seem smaller in person?
Dumber Beetle: Maybe we's bigger in person.
Dumber Beetle: Maybe we's bigger in person.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Dave: You want me to beat up your friend, Cheesette, because she gave you a fishclock?
Candy: For my birthday! Can you imagine!? She knew I wanted a cute top to go with all the other cute things I have that make me look cute!
Dave: Hey, why don't you just buy her something super nice, and make her feel really guilty?
Candy: I like it! And it allows me to punish her by using my awesome shopping powers!
Candy: For my birthday! Can you imagine!? She knew I wanted a cute top to go with all the other cute things I have that make me look cute!
Dave: Hey, why don't you just buy her something super nice, and make her feel really guilty?
Candy: I like it! And it allows me to punish her by using my awesome shopping powers!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Dave shows off his clockwork model of Udrogoth.]
Dave: Yeah, but it's broken. It's supposed to fly around shooting out colored lights and playing, "I'm a Yankee Doodle Barbarian."
Dave: Yeah, but it's broken. It's supposed to fly around shooting out colored lights and playing, "I'm a Yankee Doodle Barbarian."
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[The Royal Family asks a Creepy Old Guy if he knows how to get to the Cliffs of Fabulous Shopping.]
Creepy Old Guy: Aye, that I do. Ye must cross the Gorge of Agony, where a mighty beast awaits to tear ye limb from limb. From there, ye climb the Mountain of Thousand Screams, which nay a man has never faced and lived to tell the tale! Or ye could take the shuttle.
Creepy Old Guy: Aye, that I do. Ye must cross the Gorge of Agony, where a mighty beast awaits to tear ye limb from limb. From there, ye climb the Mountain of Thousand Screams, which nay a man has never faced and lived to tell the tale! Or ye could take the shuttle.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Upon arriving at a small village, Dave is quickly beaten up by guards.]
Oswidge: I warned you. No one wants to hear poems about a fluffy throw pillow.
Oswidge: I warned you. No one wants to hear poems about a fluffy throw pillow.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Oswidge and Fang discuss what might be wrong with Dave.]
Oswidge: On the other hand, Dave might simply be unhinged. In which case, all we have to do is restrain him in a pitch-black dungeon for countless years until he snaps out of it.
Oswidge: On the other hand, Dave might simply be unhinged. In which case, all we have to do is restrain him in a pitch-black dungeon for countless years until he snaps out of it.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Bogmelon demonstrates a Beaver Leg Shaving device to Candy.]
Bogmelon: It also works on armpits!
Bogmelon: It also works on armpits!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Candy: Twinkle, my flying steed! I'm sorry I haven't visited you for a while...
Twinkle: I've been... So lonely, in here. Such terrible thoughts one has, alone, in the dark.
Candy: Uh, like I said, I'm real sorry I haven't visited you for a while.
Twinkle: It's not important! No one cares about me! They think to mock, and belittle Twinkle the Marvel Horse, do they? Well it is they, they, who will suffer!
Twinkle: I've been... So lonely, in here. Such terrible thoughts one has, alone, in the dark.
Candy: Uh, like I said, I'm real sorry I haven't visited you for a while.
Twinkle: It's not important! No one cares about me! They think to mock, and belittle Twinkle the Marvel Horse, do they? Well it is they, they, who will suffer!
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Twinkle: I had that... dream again. The one, where I do terrible things, to penguins, with a croquet mallet.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Oswidge: Don't think I've forgotten the most important thing: there's still fudge on the agenda!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Fang, Oswidge, and Clockwork Mecha-Dave go into Chuckles' evil lair.]
Chuckles: Actually, it's the Evil Lair Boutique! I just work here part time to pick up extra money.
Chuckles: Actually, it's the Evil Lair Boutique! I just work here part time to pick up extra money.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Chuckles is interrupted by a customer.]
Shoppin' Gal: Do you have Junior Ms. Body Armor?
Chuckles: Aisle 6, by the accessory daggers.
Shoppin' Gal: Do you have Junior Ms. Body Armor?
Chuckles: Aisle 6, by the accessory daggers.
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[Oswidge casts a magic spell and turns himself into a newt.]
Oswidge: Note: In future, point magic wand away from self.
Oswidge: Note: In future, point magic wand away from self.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Dave: It's a trick! I'm Dave! He's the fake, and I'll prove it! [On his knees.] Please don't hurt me, oh, please, please, please, please!
Mecha-Dave: This proves nothing. [Also on his knees.] Please do not hurt me. For being hurt is unpleasant.
Oswidge: Which is the true dave, and which the machine? No man can say.
Mecha-Dave: This proves nothing. [Also on his knees.] Please do not hurt me. For being hurt is unpleasant.
Oswidge: Which is the true dave, and which the machine? No man can say.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Oswidge: Normally, I wouldn't ask, but this is cutting into my fudge time!
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Chuckles is interrupted by the customer, again.]
Shoppin' Gal: Do you have this in teal?
Chuckles: Oh, no, sorry, just sea foam or melon, sweetie.
Shoppin' Gal: Do you have this in teal?
Chuckles: Oh, no, sorry, just sea foam or melon, sweetie.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
[Candy points out that Mecha-Dave has a clockwork key in his back.]
Oswidge: I thought it was some kinda growth.
Oswidge: I thought it was some kinda growth.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Mecha-Dave: My programming has been changed, Chuckles. I am now commanded to pound you into bacon mist.
Chuckles: Ew.
Chuckles: Ew.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian
Candy: Fudge? I need to give her something really great so she'll feel guilty about that lousy present she gave me!
Dave: So, tell her it's imported.
Candy: That could work.
Oswidge: Ah, fudge. Truly it is the greatest of the brown-colored fruits.
Dave: So, tell her it's imported.
Candy: That could work.
Oswidge: Ah, fudge. Truly it is the greatest of the brown-colored fruits.
TV Show: Dave the Barbarian