Dinnerladies Quotes
Twinkle: We're off clubbing! Have a great night, oldies!
Tony: Have you not got coats?
Twinkle: Coats? How sad are you?
Tony: Have you not got coats?
Twinkle: Coats? How sad are you?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Twinkle: (reading the Christmas party invite)" What does that mean, sake from six thirty? (pronouncing it sake)
Dolly: Sah-ke!
Twinkle: I'm not being sarky, I'm asking!
Dolly: Sah-ke!
Twinkle: I'm not being sarky, I'm asking!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Anita: I fancy devorai!
Dolly: As a guest?
Anita: As a fabric for my dress!
Dolly: It sounded like an ethnic boyfriend! Devorai Singh, Devorai Patel...
Tony: Do some flipping work!
Dolly: As a guest?
Anita: As a fabric for my dress!
Dolly: It sounded like an ethnic boyfriend! Devorai Singh, Devorai Patel...
Tony: Do some flipping work!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: (while looking in the newspaper for a new job) Something like cleaning, light housework, housekeeping. Here's one, light house-keeper wanted.
Bren: (Bren leans over to look at the paper) Lighthouse. Keeper.
Bren: (Bren leans over to look at the paper) Lighthouse. Keeper.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Nicola Bodeux: What would happen if I asked for a herbal tea?
Jean: Nothing.
Nicola Bodeux: You mean you wouldn't be fazed by such a request?
Jean: No, I mean you wouldn't get one.
Jean: Nothing.
Nicola Bodeux: You mean you wouldn't be fazed by such a request?
Jean: No, I mean you wouldn't get one.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: (reading Tony's get well card) What does that say?
Twinkle: Love Twinkle.
Dolly: We had to practice handwriting when I was at school! The little boy next door can only write his name in macaroni! How's he going to move on to joined up writing?
Bren: He'll have to have a pencil case big enough to hold spaghetti
Twinkle: Love Twinkle.
Dolly: We had to practice handwriting when I was at school! The little boy next door can only write his name in macaroni! How's he going to move on to joined up writing?
Bren: He'll have to have a pencil case big enough to hold spaghetti
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: Where's the cow of catering?
Bren: (showing Jean newspaper) She's gone for this.
Jean: (reading) Size 24 wedding dress never worn
Bren: She's gone to be a lighthouse keeper
Bren: (showing Jean newspaper) She's gone for this.
Jean: (reading) Size 24 wedding dress never worn
Bren: She's gone to be a lighthouse keeper
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Stan: Men and women have different brains.
Dolly: Yes, it was in the Daily Mail. Women can't fold maps, and men can't get interested in headboards.
Dolly: Yes, it was in the Daily Mail. Women can't fold maps, and men can't get interested in headboards.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: Didn't they teach you anything at school?
Twinkle: How to put a condom on a cucumber
Dolly: Honestly, what's the point in that?
Bren: Be fair Dolly there's not many cucumbers that could manage it for themselves
Twinkle: How to put a condom on a cucumber
Dolly: Honestly, what's the point in that?
Bren: Be fair Dolly there's not many cucumbers that could manage it for themselves
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Bren: Get your brain round this Jane. That ladder's stuck, Glen's bustin' for a wee, she's got internal staples, she can't bend down, she can't climb over, she can't go in the cold storage room, she can't get down the fire escape, we don't know if we can hacksaw the ladder. You're Glen what do you do?
Jane: Wet myself, it's quicker
Jane: Wet myself, it's quicker
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jane: Could you not pick her up? Stan, you and Tony could hoick her over!
Glenda: I've just had an operation!
Tony: No offence, Glen but if I pick you up, I'd need a flipping operation
Glenda: I've just had an operation!
Tony: No offence, Glen but if I pick you up, I'd need a flipping operation
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: Well we can't all swan about ordering toast. Some of us have personal problems.
Jane: I know we do! But we don't bring them to work! I lost 8 tropical fish last week in a power cut!
Jane: I know we do! But we don't bring them to work! I lost 8 tropical fish last week in a power cut!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jane: Is there anyone you want to bring?
Tony: What 'bring' bring
Jane: 'Bring' bring? Not, not 'bring' bring, just bring.
Twinkle: You can get phones that do that!
Tony: What 'bring' bring
Jane: 'Bring' bring? Not, not 'bring' bring, just bring.
Twinkle: You can get phones that do that!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Anita: Tony, I've done it again with the mushrooms!
Tony: Where was your last job, a crematorium?
Tony: Where was your last job, a crematorium?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Babs: Do you remember where I'm from?
Bren: Urmston.
Babs: No, I'm from Urmston!
Bren: Urmston.
Babs: No, I'm from Urmston!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Petula: I'm just saving some oxygen for the foetus. (to "foetus") Alright, baba?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Customer: Do you have that yogurt for your intestines?
Dolly: No.
Customer: It's advertised with singing bacteria.
Dolly: Where was this?
Customer: Well, this was in Carlisle.
Dolly: Well, Carlisle! That's a much more gullible part of the country!
Dolly: No.
Customer: It's advertised with singing bacteria.
Dolly: Where was this?
Customer: Well, this was in Carlisle.
Dolly: Well, Carlisle! That's a much more gullible part of the country!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Bren: I thought you said he looked like Richard Madeley!
Jean: I meant Richard Whiteley!
Jean: I meant Richard Whiteley!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Tony: So, you're not pregnant, then?
Bren: Not unless sperm can get through a sash window.
Bren: Not unless sperm can get through a sash window.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Stan: It's one of several neglected areas in my life. I've got no sex life, no frying pan and I'm halfway through a tube of toothpaste I absolutely cannot stand!
Anita: Aww, I can help you out, Stan!
Tony: Aye aye?
Anita: I could lend you a wok!
Anita: Aww, I can help you out, Stan!
Tony: Aye aye?
Anita: I could lend you a wok!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Stan: They used to call me Coppernob!
Twinkle: What colour was your hair, though, Stan?
Twinkle: What colour was your hair, though, Stan?
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: Bob's sister, who usually keeps my present pretty much at bath cube level, has upgraded me to a cafetiere!
Bren: You mean you've opened it already?
Dolly: Well, how else do I know what price range I'm batting back against? I'd done her a germicidal hand cream, but no, actually, that's not wasted, I can divert that to the paper boy.
Bren: You mean you've opened it already?
Dolly: Well, how else do I know what price range I'm batting back against? I'd done her a germicidal hand cream, but no, actually, that's not wasted, I can divert that to the paper boy.
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Dolly: Didn't they teach you anything at school?
Twinkle: How to put a condom on a cucumber
Dolly: Honestly, what's the point in that?
Bren: Be fair Dolly there's not many cucumbers that could manage it for themselves
Twinkle: How to put a condom on a cucumber
Dolly: Honestly, what's the point in that?
Bren: Be fair Dolly there's not many cucumbers that could manage it for themselves
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Jean: I got you that two years ago!
Dolly: Did you?! I suppose if I'd been on HRT I would have remembered!
Dolly: Did you?! I suppose if I'd been on HRT I would have remembered!
TV Show: Dinnerladies
Bren: Tony didn't tear it. It was Martin.
Jean: Ooh, this gets better. Who's Martin? Should we have had a bet on him?
Bren: He's my-
Jean: Calor Gas man?
Dolly: Mother's boyfriend?
Philippa: Chiropodist?
Anita: Stick insect?
Bren: Husband.
Jean: Ooh, this gets better. Who's Martin? Should we have had a bet on him?
Bren: He's my-
Jean: Calor Gas man?
Dolly: Mother's boyfriend?
Philippa: Chiropodist?
Anita: Stick insect?
Bren: Husband.
TV Show: Dinnerladies