Dinosaurs Quotes
Fran: I'm going to be very disappointed if this world ends and you and Robbie are still angry at each other.
Earl: He destroyed the universe!
Earl: He destroyed the universe!
TV Show: Dinosaurs
Roy: Hey Earl, what about my stuff?
Earl: The kid will get it. That's why you have kids.
Roy: Hmmm. Maybe I should get one.
Earl: The kid will get it. That's why you have kids.
Roy: Hmmm. Maybe I should get one.
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[Earl walks into the living room and sees Robbie and Charlene watching TV while the baby is alone in the kitchen.]
Earl: Morning, kids. What are you doing?
Robbie: Watching the baby.
Earl: Nice to see you you're accepting more responsibility.
Earl: Morning, kids. What are you doing?
Robbie: Watching the baby.
Earl: Nice to see you you're accepting more responsibility.
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Earl[to the Elders]: Please don't make me bite off my own head. I was practicing in the lobby, and it just wasn't happening.
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Elder[reading from the Sacred Book of Dinosaur]: ...and his father [Earl] shall be courageous and wise.
[Earl chuckles]
Elder[to another Elder]: Give me the Wite-Out.
[Elder edits the sacred book]
Elder[reading from the (revised) Sacred Book of Dinosaur]: ...father shall be a blithering idiot.
Earl: Can he do that?
[Earl chuckles]
Elder[to another Elder]: Give me the Wite-Out.
[Elder edits the sacred book]
Elder[reading from the (revised) Sacred Book of Dinosaur]: ...father shall be a blithering idiot.
Earl: Can he do that?
TV Show: Dinosaurs
[Robbie is refusing to help manage the people coming to see the new king (Baby)]
Robbie: Those dinosaurs out there are just sheep.
Earl: Have you noticed that some of those sheep are cheerleaders?
[Robbie runs outside to help.]
Robbie: Those dinosaurs out there are just sheep.
Earl: Have you noticed that some of those sheep are cheerleaders?
[Robbie runs outside to help.]
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Howard Handupme: A meteor watch has been put into effect throughout the Pangean panhandle. Scientists have specifically pinpointed this particular house as the point of probable impact.
[A picture of the Sinclair house appears on the tv screen]
Earl: Come on, come on! What does this have to do with me?
[A picture of the Sinclair house appears on the tv screen]
Earl: Come on, come on! What does this have to do with me?
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[Earl is talking to the insurance agent about the cost of replacing the tv]
Earl: Don't try to cheat me on this! 'Cause I know you insurance guys, you have absolutely no ethics.
Insurance Agent: Well, how much would you say your television is worth?
Earl: Ten thousand dollars. Good thing I popped for that extra meteor coverage, huh?
Insurance Agent: For us, yes. But if you refer to that large bound volume we sent you labeled "exclusions", you'll find that a meteor is only a meteor until it enters the Earth's atmosphere, at which time it become a meteorite.
Earl: Don't try to cheat me on this! 'Cause I know you insurance guys, you have absolutely no ethics.
Insurance Agent: Well, how much would you say your television is worth?
Earl: Ten thousand dollars. Good thing I popped for that extra meteor coverage, huh?
Insurance Agent: For us, yes. But if you refer to that large bound volume we sent you labeled "exclusions", you'll find that a meteor is only a meteor until it enters the Earth's atmosphere, at which time it become a meteorite.
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Earl: As you can see, I have separated all known dinosaur wisdom into three categories: "Animal, vegetable, rocks."
Robbie: Well, what about fire?
Earl: Vegetable.
Charlene: What about water?
Earl: Water is the opposite of fire, which we have previously established as a vegetable. What's the opposite of a vegetable? Fruit. So water is a fruit. Fruit is not a vegetable, so it has to be either an animal or a rock. We know it's not an animal. Therefore, fruit is a rock.
Charlene: Daddy, I asked you about water.
Earl: Could we hold all questions until the end of the lecture, please?
Robbie: Well, what about fire?
Earl: Vegetable.
Charlene: What about water?
Earl: Water is the opposite of fire, which we have previously established as a vegetable. What's the opposite of a vegetable? Fruit. So water is a fruit. Fruit is not a vegetable, so it has to be either an animal or a rock. We know it's not an animal. Therefore, fruit is a rock.
Charlene: Daddy, I asked you about water.
Earl: Could we hold all questions until the end of the lecture, please?
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Charlene: I'm used to being embarrassed by you guys on a local level, I don't know how I feel about being humiliated nationally.
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Ethyl: Television is responsible for the utter degradation of our society. We should write a letter.
Fran: Mom? Get a life.
Fran: Mom? Get a life.
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Earl: If your mother can take the time kill this dinner, you can take the time to eat it.
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[Robbie leaves the table, refusing to eat meat]
Earl: Charlene, you are now my son.
Charlene: Thanks Daddy. Can I have money for lipstick?
Earl: Of course, son.
Earl: Charlene, you are now my son.
Charlene: Thanks Daddy. Can I have money for lipstick?
Earl: Of course, son.
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Bob Dylan-like Singer:
Has anybody here
Seen my old friend Bambi's mother?
Can you tell me where she's done?
She fed a lot of people
But the tasty, they die young.
Just like antelope, mutton, and Bambi's mom.
Has anybody here
Seen my old friend Bambi's mother?
Can you tell me where she's done?
She fed a lot of people
But the tasty, they die young.
Just like antelope, mutton, and Bambi's mom.
TV Show: Dinosaurs
[Earl is telling Robbie about his father.]
Earl: He expected me to live in the woods, have kids in the mud, eat my mate and die in pieces. And you know? That was okay for him. But I wanted better.
Earl: He expected me to live in the woods, have kids in the mud, eat my mate and die in pieces. And you know? That was okay for him. But I wanted better.
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Earl: It doesn't take a genius to figure that out.
Ethyl: Then you're the guy for the job.
Ethyl: Then you're the guy for the job.
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Earl[to Fran]: It's not [Charlene's] tail. That would be a female problem. She isn't a female yet, so she doesn't have a problem. Which if she did, we wouldn't discuss it in front of the son.
Robbie: Fine, I'll leave.
Earl: I'll go with you.
Robbie: Fine, I'll leave.
Earl: I'll go with you.
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[Earl punches Roy]
Roy: Hey! Earl, I don't want to pry into your personal business, but is something bothering you?
Earl: Not that I'm aware of.
Roy: Hey! Earl, I don't want to pry into your personal business, but is something bothering you?
Earl: Not that I'm aware of.
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[Earl is putting the uneaten food back into the refrigerator]
Food: And don't be putting me in no vegetable bin. I wake up in the vegetables and I'll come out and kick you big, flabby dinosaur butt all up and down the super-continent.
Food: And don't be putting me in no vegetable bin. I wake up in the vegetables and I'll come out and kick you big, flabby dinosaur butt all up and down the super-continent.
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Earl[to Charlene]: I don't think nature knows what it's doing. What I think you need is something to protect you from nature.
Charlene: You mean, like a father?
Earl: Well, actually, I was thinking more like a machine gun. But, I guess a father would do in a pinch.
Charlene: You mean, like a father?
Earl: Well, actually, I was thinking more like a machine gun. But, I guess a father would do in a pinch.
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[Earl is watching television, dejectedly, after becoming disillusioned with his job]
TV: Why are you stuck in a boring dead-end job?
Earl: I don't know.
TV: Why does your boss always yell at you?
Earl: Can't figure it out.
TV: Why is your life such a complete mess?
Earl: Will you stop pickin' on me?
TV: Why ask 'Why'? Drink alcohol! Nobody likes a thinker! You may not be able to change your life, but you can change the way you look at it. Alcohol. The more you drink, the less you think!
TV: Why are you stuck in a boring dead-end job?
Earl: I don't know.
TV: Why does your boss always yell at you?
Earl: Can't figure it out.
TV: Why is your life such a complete mess?
Earl: Will you stop pickin' on me?
TV: Why ask 'Why'? Drink alcohol! Nobody likes a thinker! You may not be able to change your life, but you can change the way you look at it. Alcohol. The more you drink, the less you think!
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[Baby is crying because a mouse like creature ate his cookie]
Fran: No, crying isn't going to help.
Baby [sobbing]: My cookie's gone!
Fran: Because you ate it.
Baby: No, the cookie creature took it.
Fran: All right. A cookie creature took it.
Baby: Don't talk down to me!
Fran: This is between you and the cookie creature, so you two will have to work it out.
Baby [angrily]: Oh well, thanks for nothing.
Fran: No, crying isn't going to help.
Baby [sobbing]: My cookie's gone!
Fran: Because you ate it.
Baby: No, the cookie creature took it.
Fran: All right. A cookie creature took it.
Baby: Don't talk down to me!
Fran: This is between you and the cookie creature, so you two will have to work it out.
Baby [angrily]: Oh well, thanks for nothing.
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[During a series of commercials using war references and jingoism to sell products]
Girl on TV: Mom, do you ever feel... you know... not patriotic?
Girl on TV: Mom, do you ever feel... you know... not patriotic?
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[Last words of the series]
Howard Handupme: And, taking a look at the long-range forecast, continued snow, darkness, and extreme cold. This is Howard Handupme. Good night. [pause] Goodbye.
Howard Handupme: And, taking a look at the long-range forecast, continued snow, darkness, and extreme cold. This is Howard Handupme. Good night. [pause] Goodbye.
TV Show: Dinosaurs