Drake and Josh Quotes

Mrs. Hayfer: Well, Drake....this isn't easy for me to admit, but I was wrong. I'm sorry.
Drake: Oh, thank you.
Mrs. Hayfer: I still hate you.
Drake: I know.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Girl: Drake's innocent, and cute!
Drake: Who are you?
Girl: You draw so cool!
Drake: Uh... thanks?
Mr. Thompson: Please take your seat.
Girl: Free Drake! Free Drake! Free Drake! I love you. Bye! (Runs back to her seat)
Mindy: ... Okay....

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Megan: (She and Josh enters Drake and Josh's room) I so don't want to do this!
Josh: Come on! Just work with me for ten minutes!
Drake: What are you guys doing?
Megan: He wants me to help him rehearse his lines for FBI's Most Wanted.
Drake: (To Josh) Dude, you are taking this acting thing way too seriously!
Josh: I just want to be good, alright?
Drake: It's acting, you show up, you say some stuff, you go home, anyone could do it.
Josh: Okay Megan, when I walk through the door, just react naturally to what I say. (Leaves the room) Megan, you ready!?
Megan: Wait, let me go over my line. (Looks at her script) What? Okay, I'm ready!
Josh: Drake, yell action!
Drake: (Unenthusiastically, while playing some notes on his guitar) Action.
Josh: (Walks through the door) Where's the money?
Megan: What?
Josh: Where's the money? You give me the money, I ain't playing! (Megan giggles) Oh come on! You can't giggle!
Megan: You said to react naturally. You tried to act tough so naturally I laughed.
Josh: Okay, don't react naturally, act the way you would if I was a big scary robber. (Leaves the room) Drake!
Drake: (Unenthusiastically, while playing some notes on his guitar) Action.
Josh: (Walks through the door) Where's the money?
Megan: What?
Josh: Where's the money? You give me the money, I ain't playing!
Megan: There's a cop behind you.
Josh: (Turns around) What cop? (Megan pushes him through the door and locks it) Megan! Open this door! Fine! I'll just bust it down! (Tries to do so, but fails and falls to the floor. Drake and Megan laugh)

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Josh: Uh oh. I just had a bad thought.
Megan: What? That you might grow old, never marry, and die alone?
Josh: No... But thank you for pointing out that possibility.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: I guess it means he's back in World War II.
Papa Nichols: [uses his slipper as a walkie-talkie] General Patton, sir. I've just been captured by two German nerds.
Eric: Oh, no, no, no, no, sir. We're not Germans.
Papa Nichols: That's just what a German would say.
Eric: No, no, no. You don't understand...
Papa Nichols: No, no. You will not capture me. [conks Eric in the head] Never!
Craig: Eric. [Papa Nichols takes him and swings him over the couch] Aaaaahhhh!
Papa Nichols: U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A., U-S-A! U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: [looks out the window in the living room] Papa Nichols?
Craig: [stands up behind the counter in the kitchen] Papa Nichols.
Eric: Papa Nichols?
Craig: Papa Nichols.
Eric: World War II is over.
Craig: And we're not Germans.
Eric: We're honor students.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Craig: Why is he hiding from us?
Eric: Well, I guess he's confused with all that medication they gave him after his surgery.
Craig: Well, where could he be?
Papa Nichols: Aaaaahhhhh!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Papa Nichols: [gets up and points at them] U.S.A, U.S.A, U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: [sees a couch with some pillows on it, covered with a bedspread and thinks Papa Nichols is on there] Craig, I found him! He's upstairs!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Craig: Ohh, thank goodness!
Eric: Papa Nichols. Papa Nichols, are you feeling better? [pulls the covers from the couch, but Papa Nichols wasn't there]
Papa Nichols: Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: Aah! Craig! Craig, help me!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: Aaaaahhhh!
Papa Nichols: [takes his slipper and once again uses it as a walkie-talkie] General Patton, I just found another one!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Papa Nichols: All right, for the last time. What have you done with Colonel Bradford?
Craig: We don't know.
Eric: We're not Germans.
Craig: We're from Lawndale.
Eric: Actually, I'm from North Lawndale. You see, City council...

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Papa Nichols: What's that noise? Where's it coming from?
Eric: My shirt pocket.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Papa Nichols: What's this? Is this some kind of weapon? Are you two from the future?
Eric: No, that's just my cell phone.
Papa Nichols: It's a trick. INCOMING!!!!!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: [gasps] Oh, no! He ruined my picture phone! It had all of our vacation photos on it.
Craig: From Niagra Falls? Aw, man.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: I almost got it.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Craig: We're free!
Craig and Eric: Yeah!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Papa Nichols: [screams]

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Craig and Eric: We're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Josh: Ohh, we made it.
Drake: 2 minutes before 11: 00.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Josh: Why are Craig and Eric tied up?
Eric: Because your great-grandfather went berserk. That's why.
Craig: He's an animal.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: And I'll tell you something else.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Eric: You guys are gonna buy me a new cell phone!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Drake: (Singing and playing a blues tune on his guitar to annoy Josh) Oh, cranky Josh, he's gettin' so cranky, so very cranky, now he's breakin' things, write to the pencil repair man, he knows what to do...
Josh: Will you stop with the improvisational blues tune?!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
[Megan is scared that aliens might eat her face]
Josh: Megan, there's no such things as aliens.
Walter: And if there were, they wouldn't just eat your face; they'd eat all of you. [everyone stares at him] Well, why would they stop at the face?

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Megan: (To Josh) Everybody hates me because of you!
Drake: (Thinking Megan was talking to him) I wanted one piece of cake!

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Girl: I couldn't figure it out, so I asked my mom to help me.
Josh: And?
Girl: She couldn't figure it out, either. So, she asked my dad, and then he got mad and went to a motel.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Drake: Okay, Megan, I'm in!
Megan: (Walking through the classroom door) Yep, me too.
Drake: How did you get in?
Megan: Through the front door. It's a school, Drake, not a bank.

TV Show: Drake and Josh
Megan: Strike three and you're out.

TV Show: Drake and Josh