Drawn Together Quotes
Clara: Oh you don't need sun block if you got your clan hood on, everyone knows that Foxxy.(Clara turns around and we see sunburn around her eyes,denoting she was wearing a KKK hood)
TV Show: Drawn Together
Ling Ling: Talk to honorable hand, honorable face ain't ristening. (english subtitles)
TV Show: Drawn Together
Clara: What is this unholy abomination?
Wooldoor: Hi Clara, you're just in time to witness a fake gay marriage for the health insurance.
Clara: What? If gays get married, the insitution of marriage will be destroyed! Societies will crumble! Rivers will run with blood! Nazis will once again ride on dinosaurs!
Spanky: I'll take care of this. Hey Clara, there's a Jew outside trying to poison a well!
Clara: Aaaaaagh! Oh my God! (runs to well) Get away from that well Hebrew!
Jewish Man: What? I'm putting in water purification tablets.
Wooldoor: Hi Clara, you're just in time to witness a fake gay marriage for the health insurance.
Clara: What? If gays get married, the insitution of marriage will be destroyed! Societies will crumble! Rivers will run with blood! Nazis will once again ride on dinosaurs!
Spanky: I'll take care of this. Hey Clara, there's a Jew outside trying to poison a well!
Clara: Aaaaaagh! Oh my God! (runs to well) Get away from that well Hebrew!
Jewish Man: What? I'm putting in water purification tablets.
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Clara: This is Princess Clara calling for the King of Insurance, yes, I would like to report a fake gay marriage.
Jewish Man: And I'd like to report a great set of tits.
Jewish Man: And I'd like to report a great set of tits.
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Clara: Come on, Spanky is not gay. If he's so gay let's see him do the hat dance.
Spanky: You're thinking of the Mexicans, the gays have the butt sex.
Clara: Well then, let's see you do that.
King of Insurance: Oh yes, please do!
Spanky: God dammit, I should have done the hat dance.
Spanky: You're thinking of the Mexicans, the gays have the butt sex.
Clara: Well then, let's see you do that.
King of Insurance: Oh yes, please do!
Spanky: God dammit, I should have done the hat dance.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Board of Education: (singing)
I am the Board of Education
I serve the interest of our nation
But keeping kids learning
Isn't much of an earning
So something had to be done
I am the Board of Education
I serve the interest of our nation
But keeping kids learning
Isn't much of an earning
So something had to be done
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Captain Hero: I needed to phone home, and that's exactly what I would do as soon as I was done playing with my new sex robot. Oh yeah, baby.
Robot: N-O means N-O! Why doesn't he just remove the chip that makes me feel pain?
Robot: N-O means N-O! Why doesn't he just remove the chip that makes me feel pain?
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Captain Hero: Thank you unborn baby whale. You were as helpful as you were delicious.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Princess Clara: The producers told us that we must start a business of our choosing. I wanted to have a bake sale, but the stereotypes had other ideas.
Xandir: Let's open an hair salon!
Foxxy: Oooh, we could shine shoes!
Ling Ling: I say full-release massage parlor that serves wok-fried puppies!
Toot: LET'S EAT POTATO SALAD!!!
Princess Clara: Finally we all agreed.
Housemates: A suicide hotline!
Xandir: Let's open an hair salon!
Foxxy: Oooh, we could shine shoes!
Ling Ling: I say full-release massage parlor that serves wok-fried puppies!
Toot: LET'S EAT POTATO SALAD!!!
Princess Clara: Finally we all agreed.
Housemates: A suicide hotline!
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Foxxy: Goddamn white producers with they goddamn white flashes! They can edit us to make us say whatever they want. My (flash) taint (flash) is (flash) made (flash) out (flash) of (flash) bacon. STOP IT!!! Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. My taint, 100% pure bacon.
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Captain Hero's Mother: Captain Leslie Hero! You thought this would prove you're not a lame superhero?!
Captain Hero: Mom, don't call me Leslie in front of Two-Hands!
Captain Hero's Mother: The doctor was right! You are SO lame!
Captain Hero: I'm not lame!
Captain Hero's Mother: Yes! Yes you are! [rips his posters off the wall]
Captain Hero: Please, Mom! Please don't do that! Don't be mean to me!
Captain Hero's Mother: I'm not being mean to you. You're just too lame to say it!
Captain Hero: You don't know what I can do, what I'm gonna do and you don't know! You don't know who I'm gonna be! You don't know how good I am! I have good things and you don't know it! Like I'm gonna be somebody, and don't tell me I'm not! [runs off crying]
Captain Hero: Mom, don't call me Leslie in front of Two-Hands!
Captain Hero's Mother: The doctor was right! You are SO lame!
Captain Hero: I'm not lame!
Captain Hero's Mother: Yes! Yes you are! [rips his posters off the wall]
Captain Hero: Please, Mom! Please don't do that! Don't be mean to me!
Captain Hero's Mother: I'm not being mean to you. You're just too lame to say it!
Captain Hero: You don't know what I can do, what I'm gonna do and you don't know! You don't know who I'm gonna be! You don't know how good I am! I have good things and you don't know it! Like I'm gonna be somebody, and don't tell me I'm not! [runs off crying]
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Foxxy: Chil', what is up with Captain Hero? Lately, he's been an emotional wreck. [we see Captain Hero in various emotional moments] Maybe he ran outta his superpower potion, if you know what I mean.
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Toot: We order Zebulonese take-out all the time. You love the deep-fried Zebulon eggs. [eats an egg]
Captain Hero: I never put the two together.
Captain Hero: I never put the two together.
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Foxxy: Those goddamn cunt shit dumbass piss fuck meatball dick cock motherfuckers!
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Clara: A suicide hotline! This is going to be so much fun!
Foxxy: No it ain't! Remember how you got bored with them pitbulls you adopted, and then I had to find them a new home with them Muppet Babies?
[we see some pitbulls attack the Muppet Babies, with one of them raping Baby Scooter]
Foxxy: And I do not wantz to be responsible for no stupid-ass suicide hotline.
Toot: Aw, come on, Foxxy, this time it'll be different. We'll stick with it. [everybody cheers]
Voice: [off-screen] I lit a homeless girl on fire.
Foxxy: What the...? That's horrible. Who said that?
[the housemates look at each other]
Voice: [off-screen] Fire's happy now.
Foxxy: No it ain't! Remember how you got bored with them pitbulls you adopted, and then I had to find them a new home with them Muppet Babies?
[we see some pitbulls attack the Muppet Babies, with one of them raping Baby Scooter]
Foxxy: And I do not wantz to be responsible for no stupid-ass suicide hotline.
Toot: Aw, come on, Foxxy, this time it'll be different. We'll stick with it. [everybody cheers]
Voice: [off-screen] I lit a homeless girl on fire.
Foxxy: What the...? That's horrible. Who said that?
[the housemates look at each other]
Voice: [off-screen] Fire's happy now.
TV Show: Drawn Together
End Credits Bonus Feature: The housemates go "Yip yip yip" around the telephone.
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Unusually Flexible Girl: I missed you more than a retard misses the point.
Captain Hero: What do you mean?
Captain Hero: What do you mean?
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All talking at a rapid pace
Foxxy Phat: He ain't lookin' at you Love.
Foxxy Dark: He wasn't lookin' at yo fat ass.
Foxxy Yella: What did you call me?
Lil' Foxxy: Step off!
Foxxy Love: Bring it!
Foxxy Phat: Girrrrrl!
Foxxy Dark: Drop it like it's hot!
Foxxy Yella: Can I get a witness!?
Lil' Foxxy: Holla!
Foxxy Phat: Hey hey hey!
Foxxy Phat: He ain't lookin' at you Love.
Foxxy Dark: He wasn't lookin' at yo fat ass.
Foxxy Yella: What did you call me?
Lil' Foxxy: Step off!
Foxxy Love: Bring it!
Foxxy Phat: Girrrrrl!
Foxxy Dark: Drop it like it's hot!
Foxxy Yella: Can I get a witness!?
Lil' Foxxy: Holla!
Foxxy Phat: Hey hey hey!
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Foxxy Love: [to other Foxxy's] Hold up! Foxxy's, ain't y'all tired of people thinkin' we has-beens. Now I know thangs were said, feelings was hurt, kidneys were shived, boyfriends was anal licked, braids were cut and fetus' were abducted but if we put aside our differences and work together, we can make it back to the top!(We then see all the Foxxy Five in orgies in various places,with Lil' Foxxy jumping up to kiss the others)
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Captain Hero: I just wanted her because I couldn't have her, and now that I have her I don't want her. It's just like that time I was all excited to catch herpes.
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UFG: After the wedding, we can move in with my mother Unusually Jewish Woman and you can go into my father's business!
[Captain Hero breaks wind]
[Captain Hero breaks wind]
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Wooldoor: Now everybody's happy!
[Cuts to Ling Ling outside with a party set up]
Ling Ling: This worst birthday party ever.
[Cuts to Ling Ling outside with a party set up]
Ling Ling: This worst birthday party ever.
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Foxxy Dark: Foxxy...
Foxxy Yella: Why you do dis to us Foxxy?
Li'l Foxxy: Why yo run us over?
Foxxy Phat: Hey hey hey.
Foxxy: [picking up the phone] I need to call an ambulance! Oh girls, I am so sorry. I never should have been drinking and driving. Tat is the last time I mix liquor and beer and cough syrup and Kool-Aid and Grape Kool-Aid and Lemon Pledge!
Foxxy Yella: Why you do dis to us Foxxy?
Li'l Foxxy: Why yo run us over?
Foxxy Phat: Hey hey hey.
Foxxy: [picking up the phone] I need to call an ambulance! Oh girls, I am so sorry. I never should have been drinking and driving. Tat is the last time I mix liquor and beer and cough syrup and Kool-Aid and Grape Kool-Aid and Lemon Pledge!
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Spanky: You made it!
Foxxy Love: (after seeing herself on the television) Oh my god, I'm on the picture square!
Foxxy Love: (after seeing herself on the television) Oh my god, I'm on the picture square!
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Captain Hero: Tell that crazy girl I am not marrying her!
Wooldoor: I'm not comfortable doing that.
Capt. Hero: Would you be more comfortable if I broke your arm in 3 places then wrapped it in $100 bills?
Wooldoor: Are you threatening me... or bribing me?
Capt. Hero: What an insulting accusation! Take that back before I rip out your spleen & drive you to the hospital in your BRAND NEW CAR!
Wooldoor: I'm not comfortable doing that.
Capt. Hero: Would you be more comfortable if I broke your arm in 3 places then wrapped it in $100 bills?
Wooldoor: Are you threatening me... or bribing me?
Capt. Hero: What an insulting accusation! Take that back before I rip out your spleen & drive you to the hospital in your BRAND NEW CAR!
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Captain Hero: Don't make me kick your ass!
Wooldoor: Don't make me suck your dick!
Captain Hero: Don't make me cuddle you like a baby!
Wooldoor: Don't make me suck your dick!
Wooldoor: Don't make me suck your dick!
Captain Hero: Don't make me cuddle you like a baby!
Wooldoor: Don't make me suck your dick!
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Clara: Have you noticed that we haven't been getting any screen time this week?
Toot: Well a Duh! That's because we've been in the basement all week making this awesome potato gun!
[Clara places a potato inside the gun and ignites the fuse]
Clara: Are you sure this is safe?
Toot: Oh yeah, sure.
[Toot fires the gun and is blown away by the explosion created by the gun.]
Toot: Damn it!
Toot: Well a Duh! That's because we've been in the basement all week making this awesome potato gun!
[Clara places a potato inside the gun and ignites the fuse]
Clara: Are you sure this is safe?
Toot: Oh yeah, sure.
[Toot fires the gun and is blown away by the explosion created by the gun.]
Toot: Damn it!
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Wooldoor: You know, now that I think about it, I don't want her. Guess I'm just like you. That means I can fly! Wheee! (Jumps through a window)
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Foxxy: I couldn't believe everybody thought I was yesterday's news. Sure, the Foxxy 5 ain't had a hit in 20 years, but our message is still fresh: Have lotsa unprotected sex and defeat the Soviet Union.
TV Show: Drawn Together