Drawn Together Quotes
Clara: Oh my goodness! My whites-only drinking fountain is just beautiful!
Wooldoor: Sorry fellas, we can't show you Clara's pink sink. Don't blame us, blame the FCC, which stands for faggoty cock-blocking clamfuckers! Wheeeeeeeee!
Wooldoor: Sorry fellas, we can't show you Clara's pink sink. Don't blame us, blame the FCC, which stands for faggoty cock-blocking clamfuckers! Wheeeeeeeee!
TV Show: Drawn Together
[Clara is walking by the pool, depressed]
Clara: Ever since my evil stepmother turned my vagina into a monster, I felt like people were disgusted by me and my Octopussoir.
[the entire kingdom sees baby Clara and Octopussoir comes out]
Random Man: Oh my God! [everyone barfs]
Clara: I had to give up my dream of being Miss Toddler Beauty Queen after they added the thong competition.
Octopussoir: Hi Mom!
[Clara tries to hide Octopussoir, but all the toddlers barf]
Clara: Even the time I visited the circus was a total disaster.
Ringmaster: Step right up and see the amazing Never Vomits Guy!
Octopussoir: I gotta see this. [the Never Vomits Guy and the ringmaster barf]
Never Vomits Guy: Gosh darn.
[Clara is walking on a beach]
Clara: Why, oh why, can't I have a normal temple of chastity? [Ling-Ling sits right over by the wall, writing these words on his belly with a pencil]
Clara: Ever since my evil stepmother turned my vagina into a monster, I felt like people were disgusted by me and my Octopussoir.
[the entire kingdom sees baby Clara and Octopussoir comes out]
Random Man: Oh my God! [everyone barfs]
Clara: I had to give up my dream of being Miss Toddler Beauty Queen after they added the thong competition.
Octopussoir: Hi Mom!
[Clara tries to hide Octopussoir, but all the toddlers barf]
Clara: Even the time I visited the circus was a total disaster.
Ringmaster: Step right up and see the amazing Never Vomits Guy!
Octopussoir: I gotta see this. [the Never Vomits Guy and the ringmaster barf]
Never Vomits Guy: Gosh darn.
[Clara is walking on a beach]
Clara: Why, oh why, can't I have a normal temple of chastity? [Ling-Ling sits right over by the wall, writing these words on his belly with a pencil]
TV Show: Drawn Together
Clara: You fix my crotch stigmata right now, or I'll sue.
Wooldoor: Go ahead. I'll just counter-sue.
Clara: Well, then I'll hire the smartest Jew in Jewtown!
Wooldoor: Well, then I'll hire the smartest Jew in the Jew-SA!
Clara: Well, then I'll hire the smartest Jew in the Jew-niverse!
Wooldoor: [gasps] You'd really hire Abe Goldblatt from Space Shuttle 34?
Wooldoor: Go ahead. I'll just counter-sue.
Clara: Well, then I'll hire the smartest Jew in Jewtown!
Wooldoor: Well, then I'll hire the smartest Jew in the Jew-SA!
Clara: Well, then I'll hire the smartest Jew in the Jew-niverse!
Wooldoor: [gasps] You'd really hire Abe Goldblatt from Space Shuttle 34?
TV Show: Drawn Together
Octopussoir: Two pieces of advice, Princess. One: You won't wanna change your body, if you learn to love it. And two: When you wipe, it's front to back.
Narrator: An important lesson was learned that day on Wisteria Lane. Even the slimiest cunt can get a job in real estate.
Narrator: An important lesson was learned that day on Wisteria Lane. Even the slimiest cunt can get a job in real estate.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Clara: Just to be sure, I asked for some other opinions.
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling would love to drop his bomb on that Pearl Harbor.
Xandir: Oh, it's adorable. What is it?
Foxxy: Now you got some fine-lookin' flesh sandwich.
Clara: I didn't care what the Choriental, the Sodomite or the Ethiop had to say. I knew my church door was too fat and I had to fix it.
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling would love to drop his bomb on that Pearl Harbor.
Xandir: Oh, it's adorable. What is it?
Foxxy: Now you got some fine-lookin' flesh sandwich.
Clara: I didn't care what the Choriental, the Sodomite or the Ethiop had to say. I knew my church door was too fat and I had to fix it.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Jew producer: Let's take a look at the past season and pay our respects to all the korean children who died drawing
TV Show: Drawn Together
[Captain Hero drops a pill into his beer, drinks it and passes out]
Wooldoor: I think the mailman meant a Greek family moved in next door, and not a fraternity.
Xandir: And that wasn't a roofie Captain Hero..... that was a Tic-Tac.
[short pause]
Capt. Hero: Are you guys gonna fuck me or not?
Wooldoor: I think the mailman meant a Greek family moved in next door, and not a fraternity.
Xandir: And that wasn't a roofie Captain Hero..... that was a Tic-Tac.
[short pause]
Capt. Hero: Are you guys gonna fuck me or not?
TV Show: Drawn Together
Ling-Ling: Father why? You have so much to live for.
Jun-Jee: Oh, nothing bling me joy. I too old to battle, and my cataract make karaoke impossible.
Jun-Jee: Oh, nothing bling me joy. I too old to battle, and my cataract make karaoke impossible.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Ling-Ling: He my father, Ling-Ling deserve money, not you.... filthy srut! [spits]
Toot: Heeeey I'm no SLUT, I EARNED this money! I've been letting Jun-Jee ram his tank into my Tiananmen Square!
Toot: Heeeey I'm no SLUT, I EARNED this money! I've been letting Jun-Jee ram his tank into my Tiananmen Square!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Jun-Jee: Jun-Jee decide... no one get his fortune!
Ling-Ling: YOKO-OH-NO!
Toot: YooHoo-HoHo!
Ling-Ling: YOKO-OH-NO!
Toot: YooHoo-HoHo!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: We're not going to let them destroy us, are we, pledges?
Wooldoor & Xandir: Sir, never, sir!
Captain Hero: And to prove it, Xandir, lock yourself in a trunk of a car with this bottle of whiskey and don't come out until it's empty!
Xandir: Sir, yes, sir!
[Later in the episode]
Captain Hero: Oh, Xandir's not gonna believe this- [cut to Captain Hero and Wooldoor opening the trunk and finding something that looks like a corpse covered with flies]
Captain Hero: Oh, my God... [vomits in disgust]
Wooldoor: Sir, you're a fucking idiot, sir!
Wooldoor & Xandir: Sir, never, sir!
Captain Hero: And to prove it, Xandir, lock yourself in a trunk of a car with this bottle of whiskey and don't come out until it's empty!
Xandir: Sir, yes, sir!
[Later in the episode]
Captain Hero: Oh, Xandir's not gonna believe this- [cut to Captain Hero and Wooldoor opening the trunk and finding something that looks like a corpse covered with flies]
Captain Hero: Oh, my God... [vomits in disgust]
Wooldoor: Sir, you're a fucking idiot, sir!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Ling Ling: We split it 50-50.
Toot: (furiously) WHAT?!?!?! YOU WANT HALF MY HO-HO?!?!?! I SHOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!!!!!!!!
Ling Ling: Nooooo. Half of father's fortune.
Toot: (furiously) WHAT?!?!?! YOU WANT HALF MY HO-HO?!?!?! I SHOULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!!!!!!!!
Ling Ling: Nooooo. Half of father's fortune.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Jun-Jee: Space turns Asians into queers. That only explanation for George Takei.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Ling-Ling: It's Ling-Ling money!
Toot: No, it's my money!
Ling-Ling: It's Ling-Ling money!
Toot: It's my money!
Ling-Ling: It's Ling-Ling money!
Toot: That's my money!
Ling-Ling: Duck season!
Toot: No, it's my money!
Ling-Ling: It's Ling-Ling money!
Toot: It's my money!
Ling-Ling: It's Ling-Ling money!
Toot: That's my money!
Ling-Ling: Duck season!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Clara: Hey Foxxy, when are you gonna contribute to the parent pile?
Foxxy: When my daddy get back from buyin' them cigarettes.
Foxxy: When my daddy get back from buyin' them cigarettes.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Mr. Georgiopolis: [to Captain Hero after he causes chaos in his family's house] Please, scary man, get out of my house and don't come back.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: So now you're from the future, too? I thought you were from a video game.
Xandir: VIDEO GAMES ARE THE FUTURE!!!
Xandir: VIDEO GAMES ARE THE FUTURE!!!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: Hey bro, what do you think about...bagina?
Terminator Guy: Dude, I love the bagina.
Captain Hero: Dude! I love the bagina! What do you like to do to the bagina?
Terminator Guy: What do you think I like to do to the bagina?
Captain Hero: I think you like to f**k it!
Terminator Guy: Damn straight, I totally like to to f**k the bagina.
Both: Sweet!
Terminator Guy: Dude, I love the bagina.
Captain Hero: Dude! I love the bagina! What do you like to do to the bagina?
Terminator Guy: What do you think I like to do to the bagina?
Captain Hero: I think you like to f**k it!
Terminator Guy: Damn straight, I totally like to to f**k the bagina.
Both: Sweet!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Foxxy: Senators! A children's tv show, won't make boys get fellatio. Watching tv on the sofa, can't turn your girl into Martina Navratilova. So senators, if you protect Wooldoor's free speech, I'll massage your prostates, each.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: Here's to congress for letting me do my show!
Spanky Ham: And to freedom of speech.
Wooldoor: F**k yeah!
Xandir: That's the sh*t!
Captain Hero: I want to f**k the head off of a f**king pig and rip its f**king guts out and then f**k its f**king f**k f**k f**k f**kity f**k...
Spanky Ham: And to freedom of speech.
Wooldoor: F**k yeah!
Xandir: That's the sh*t!
Captain Hero: I want to f**k the head off of a f**king pig and rip its f**king guts out and then f**k its f**king f**k f**k f**k f**kity f**k...
TV Show: Drawn Together
Xandir: Cum on me if you want to live.
Wooldoor: I think you mean, "come with you".
Xandir: Wh, why, what did I say?
Wooldoor: I think you mean, "come with you".
Xandir: Wh, why, what did I say?
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: No Xandir! Like Paul McCartney's ex-wife, we're not running anymore!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: What a weird night, first I was partying and drinking with my friends, much like a druken pro athelete. Then I was crying and running for my life, like the wife of a drunken pro athelete!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: Quick Xandir! Snarf my cavernous bunghole you snerd nurgling Jew!
Xandir: Don't you mean, "hold on"?
Wooldoor: Why, what did I say?
Xandir: Don't you mean, "hold on"?
Wooldoor: Why, what did I say?
TV Show: Drawn Together