Drawn Together Quotes
Spanky: Just do it, or you'll be lying at my feet in a pool of your own blood! And my urine! Which also has blood, but it's MY BLOOD!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Spanky: Hand over the chipmunk and nobody gets hurt. Except of course the chipmunk, which gets gutted, eaten, and eventually passed.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: I never check myself. Not for you, not for ticks, and not for melanoma!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: Our team had to invent a low-carb cure for polio before the other team could put an egg in a bucket.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Toot: Hello, I'm Toot Brownstein. You know me as Toot Braunstein from the popular reality show, Drawn Together. This episode, we poorly dealt with eating disorders.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Wooldoor: [gathered with housemates in front of house] Who's it gonna be, who's it gonna be?! WHEEEEEEE! [cut to Wooldoor in confessional] The producers decided to surprise one of us with a visit from a family member! I hope it's someone from my family, [holding up photos] like Flagfred Cheesewheel, Lingsume Brickshade or PromQueen DumpsterBaby.
Ling-Ling: [cut to confessional] Ling-Ling so want visit from father. He great warrior/dry cleaner. He coined classic phrase... "No ticky, no washy."
Ling-Ling: [cut to confessional] Ling-Ling so want visit from father. He great warrior/dry cleaner. He coined classic phrase... "No ticky, no washy."
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: I know I should have been more mad with Spanky, but I just won 50 bucks!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: Bleh, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Bleh: "Contrived, manipulative, and shamelessly sentimental" raves Peter Travers from Rolling Stone.
Bleh: "Contrived, manipulative, and shamelessly sentimental" raves Peter Travers from Rolling Stone.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: We come from two different worlds. I come from the planet Zebulan and you came from a mom who drank when she was pregnant.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Toot: [to Wooldoor] You'll have to stay here until all that Ling-Ling is out of your system. It'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do. TOODLES!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Xandir: [to Ling-Ling] I'm so sorry your father didn't show. We still love you. DON'T WE, TOOT?
Toot: [annoyed] Fine.
Toot: [annoyed] Fine.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Ling-Ling: Ling-Ling so want visit from father. He great warrior/dry cleaner. He coined classic phrase... "No ticky, no washy."
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: Damn! Clara's cousin is so hot!
[Captain Hero's nipples harden]
Spanky: Yeah, she's, like, retarded hot!
[Spanky's nipples harden, followed by four additional ones]
[Captain Hero's nipples harden]
Spanky: Yeah, she's, like, retarded hot!
[Spanky's nipples harden, followed by four additional ones]
TV Show: Drawn Together
[Captain Hero notices there is a dart in his neck]
Captain Hero: What the...
[cut to Clara holding a blowpipe]
Clara: Just a little added protection. You get the antidote when I get my Bleh back.
Captain Hero: What the...
[cut to Clara holding a blowpipe]
Clara: Just a little added protection. You get the antidote when I get my Bleh back.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Xandir: It just didn't make sense. When we licked Ling-Ling last time we got all fucked up, but this time nothing happened. Well, we got a little aroused... but not fucked up!
TV Show: Drawn Together
Spanky: Want to spin a bottle and kiss whoever it lands on?
Captain Hero: Not right now. I'm depressed.
[pause]
Spanky: How about now?
Captain Hero: Yeah, all right.
Captain Hero: Not right now. I'm depressed.
[pause]
Spanky: How about now?
Captain Hero: Yeah, all right.
TV Show: Drawn Together
[Captain Hero, Spanky, and Wooldoor are playing spin the bottle and when Captain Hero spins it lands on Wooldoor]
Wooldoor: WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Captain Hero: Hey! If you're going to be gay about this, you cant play!
Wooldoor: Sorry.
Wooldoor: WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
Captain Hero: Hey! If you're going to be gay about this, you cant play!
Wooldoor: Sorry.
TV Show: Drawn Together
[Xandir and Toot kiss Ling-Ling again, nothing happens]
Xandir: Why isn't this working?!
Toot: Maybe we have to eat Ling-Ling.
Xandir: Why is it that when something doesn't work your first reaction is to eat it?
[flashback to Toot eating the TV]
Xandir: Toot! What are you doing?!?!?!
Toot: I couldn't find the remote...
Xandir: Why isn't this working?!
Toot: Maybe we have to eat Ling-Ling.
Xandir: Why is it that when something doesn't work your first reaction is to eat it?
[flashback to Toot eating the TV]
Xandir: Toot! What are you doing?!?!?!
Toot: I couldn't find the remote...
TV Show: Drawn Together
[poking Ling-Ling with a stick]
Xandir: Look at me! I've become the very thing I hated most!
Toot: A guy who pokes things with sticks?
Xandir: Look at me! I've become the very thing I hated most!
Toot: A guy who pokes things with sticks?
TV Show: Drawn Together
[Xandir is holding Ling-Ling]
Xandir: Hey, Ling-Ling, are you excited about Christmas?
[Ling-Ling perks up]
Xandir: Too bad there's no such thing as Santa Claus! I bet you're disappointed!
[Ling-Ling becomes disappointed, and Xandir licks the secretion off, passing him to Toot]
Toot: Hey, look what I found in your ear! Is it a quarter?
[Ling-Ling perks up]
Toot: Oh, no! It's a TUMOR!
[Ling-Ling becomes disappointed, Toot licks him, and passes him to Wooldoor]
Wooldoor: Heya, Ling-Ling, you uh... excited for Christmas?
[Ling-Ling perks up and nods]
Wooldoor: Oh, no, it's a TUMOR!
[Wooldoor licks Ling-Ling]
Xandir: Hey, Ling-Ling, are you excited about Christmas?
[Ling-Ling perks up]
Xandir: Too bad there's no such thing as Santa Claus! I bet you're disappointed!
[Ling-Ling becomes disappointed, and Xandir licks the secretion off, passing him to Toot]
Toot: Hey, look what I found in your ear! Is it a quarter?
[Ling-Ling perks up]
Toot: Oh, no! It's a TUMOR!
[Ling-Ling becomes disappointed, Toot licks him, and passes him to Wooldoor]
Wooldoor: Heya, Ling-Ling, you uh... excited for Christmas?
[Ling-Ling perks up and nods]
Wooldoor: Oh, no, it's a TUMOR!
[Wooldoor licks Ling-Ling]
TV Show: Drawn Together
Captain Hero: Yes, I was confident that by the end of the night I'd have another notch on my utility belt and fifty bucks in my pocket, but then, I realized something. Bleh, she was really special, but not in a retarded way. In a traditionally special way.
TV Show: Drawn Together
Spanky: Well, nice work, Captain Hero. Here's the fifty dollars I bet you to have sex with Bleh.
[Clara gasps]
Spanky: Oh, I mean here's the fifty... dollars Captain Hero won off me because I bet him he would not have sex with your special cousin, Bleh, but he did, in fact, have sex with her... for fifty dollars. Whew. Saved it.
[Clara gasps]
Spanky: Oh, I mean here's the fifty... dollars Captain Hero won off me because I bet him he would not have sex with your special cousin, Bleh, but he did, in fact, have sex with her... for fifty dollars. Whew. Saved it.
TV Show: Drawn Together