Duck Soup Quotes
Secretary of Labor : The Department of Labor wishes to note that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours.
Rufus T. Firefly : Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.
Rufus T. Firefly : Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to 20 minutes.
Movie: Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale : Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
Rufus T. Firefly : Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Rufus T. Firefly : Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Movie: Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale : As chairman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms.
Rufus T. Firefly : Is that so? How late do you stay open?
Rufus T. Firefly : Is that so? How late do you stay open?
Movie: Duck Soup
Chicolini : Here, have a cigar. [ it's only a stub ]
Chicolini : That's a good quarter cigar. I smoke the other 3/4 myself.
Chicolini : That's a good quarter cigar. I smoke the other 3/4 myself.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Just for that, you don't get the job I was going to give you.
Chicolini : What job?
Rufus T. Firefly : Secretary of War.
Chicolini : All right, I take it.
Rufus T. Firefly : Sold.
Chicolini : What job?
Rufus T. Firefly : Secretary of War.
Chicolini : All right, I take it.
Rufus T. Firefly : Sold.
Movie: Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale : Your excellency, the ambassador's here on a friendly visit. He's had a change of heart.
Rufus T. Firefly : A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face.
Ambassador Trentino : I'm sorry we lost our tempers; I'm willing to forgot if you are.
Rufus T. Firefly : Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again. Nothing doing. I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed; I'm expecting company.
Rufus T. Firefly : A lot of good that'll do him: he's still got the same face.
Ambassador Trentino : I'm sorry we lost our tempers; I'm willing to forgot if you are.
Rufus T. Firefly : Forget? You ask me to forget? A Firefly never forgets. Why, my ancestors would rise from their graves, and I'd only have to bury them again. Nothing doing. I'm going back and clean the crackers out of my bed; I'm expecting company.
Movie: Duck Soup
Prosecutor : Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
Chicolini : Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Prosecutor : No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars!
Chicolini : Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
Chicolini : Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Prosecutor : No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars!
Chicolini : Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Don't look now, but there's one man too many in this room, and I think it's you.
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Rufus T. Firefly : I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.
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Rufus T. Firefly : [ into radio ] This is Rufus T. Firefly coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. We're in a mess folks, we're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women! [ Pinky enters and raises three fingers ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Make that three more women!
Rufus T. Firefly : Make that three more women!
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Rufus T. Firefly : Where's my Stradivarius?
Officer : Here, sir.
Rufus T. Firefly : I'll show 'em they can't fiddle around with old Firefly! [ he pulls a tommygun out of his violin case and opens fire ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Look at 'em run! Now they know they've been in a war!
Bob Roland : Your Excellency!
Rufus T. Firefly : Hahahahahaha, they're fleeing like rats!
Bob Roland : But sir, I've got to tell you...
Rufus T. Firefly : Remind me to give myself the Firefly Medal for this! [ he fires again ]
Bob Roland : Your Excellency, you're shooting your own men! [ Firefly fires again ]
Rufus T. Firefly : What?
Bob Roland : You're shooting your own men!
Rufus T. Firefly : Here's $5, keep it under your hat. [ holds out his hat to take the $5 back ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Never mind, I'll keep it under my hat.
Officer : Here, sir.
Rufus T. Firefly : I'll show 'em they can't fiddle around with old Firefly! [ he pulls a tommygun out of his violin case and opens fire ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Look at 'em run! Now they know they've been in a war!
Bob Roland : Your Excellency!
Rufus T. Firefly : Hahahahahaha, they're fleeing like rats!
Bob Roland : But sir, I've got to tell you...
Rufus T. Firefly : Remind me to give myself the Firefly Medal for this! [ he fires again ]
Bob Roland : Your Excellency, you're shooting your own men! [ Firefly fires again ]
Rufus T. Firefly : What?
Bob Roland : You're shooting your own men!
Rufus T. Firefly : Here's $5, keep it under your hat. [ holds out his hat to take the $5 back ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Never mind, I'll keep it under my hat.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : [ singing ] If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited! I'll put my foot down, so shall it be... this is the land of the free! The last man nearly ruined this place he didn't know what to do with it. If you think this country's bad off now, just wait till I get through with it! The country's taxes must be fixed, and I know what to do with it. If you think you're paying too much now, just wait till I get through with it!
Movie: Duck Soup
[ reporting on shadowing Firefly ]
Chicolini : Monday we watch-a Firefly's house, but he no come he wasn't home. Tuesday we go to the ball game, but he fool us: he no show up. Wednesday HE go to the ball game, but we fool him, WE no show up. Thursday it was a double-header, nobody show up. Friday it rained all day, there was no ball game, so we stayed home, we listen to it over the radio.
Chicolini : Monday we watch-a Firefly's house, but he no come he wasn't home. Tuesday we go to the ball game, but he fool us: he no show up. Wednesday HE go to the ball game, but we fool him, WE no show up. Thursday it was a double-header, nobody show up. Friday it rained all day, there was no ball game, so we stayed home, we listen to it over the radio.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : I'm in a hurry! To the House of Representatives! Ride like fury! If you run out of gas, get ethyl. If Ethel runs out, get Mabel! Now step on it!
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Ambassador Trentino : Have you been trailing Firefly?
Chicolini : Have we been trailing Firefly? Why, my partner, he's got a nose just like a bloodhound.
Ambassador Trentino : Oh really?
Chicolini : Yeah, and the rest of his face don't look so good either.
Chicolini : Have we been trailing Firefly? Why, my partner, he's got a nose just like a bloodhound.
Ambassador Trentino : Oh really?
Chicolini : Yeah, and the rest of his face don't look so good either.
Movie: Duck Soup
Chicolini : Well, you remember you gave us a picture of this man and said, 'Follow him?'
Ambassador Trentino : Oh, yes.
Chicolini : Well, we get on-a the job right away and in the one hour - even-a less than one hour...
Ambassador Trentino : Yes?
Chicolini : We lose-a the picture. That's-a pretty quick work, eh?
Ambassador Trentino : Oh, yes.
Chicolini : Well, we get on-a the job right away and in the one hour - even-a less than one hour...
Ambassador Trentino : Yes?
Chicolini : We lose-a the picture. That's-a pretty quick work, eh?
Movie: Duck Soup
Ambassador Trentino : Now will you tell me what happened on Saturday?
Chicolini : I'm glad you ask me. We follow this man down to a roadhouse, and at this roadhouse he meet a married lady.
Ambassador Trentino : A married lady?
Chicolini : Yeah, I think it was his wife.
Ambassador Trentino : Firefly has no wife!
Chicolini : No?
Ambassador Trentino : No!
Chicolini : Then you know what I think, boss?
Ambassador Trentino : What?
Chicolini : I think-a we follow the wrong man.
Chicolini : I'm glad you ask me. We follow this man down to a roadhouse, and at this roadhouse he meet a married lady.
Ambassador Trentino : A married lady?
Chicolini : Yeah, I think it was his wife.
Ambassador Trentino : Firefly has no wife!
Chicolini : No?
Ambassador Trentino : No!
Chicolini : Then you know what I think, boss?
Ambassador Trentino : What?
Chicolini : I think-a we follow the wrong man.
Movie: Duck Soup
Mrs. Teasdale : As chairwoman of the reception committee, I extend the wishes of every man, woman, and child of Freedonia.
Rufus T. Firefly : Never mind that stuff. [ He takes out a deck of cards ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Take a card.
Mrs. Teasdale : [ as she takes one ] Card? What will I do with the card?
Rufus T. Firefly : You can keep it. I've got fifty-one left. Now what were you saying?
Rufus T. Firefly : Never mind that stuff. [ He takes out a deck of cards ]
Rufus T. Firefly : Take a card.
Mrs. Teasdale : [ as she takes one ] Card? What will I do with the card?
Rufus T. Firefly : You can keep it. I've got fifty-one left. Now what were you saying?
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : [ to Trentino ] Now, how about lending this country twenty million dollars, you old skinflint?
Ambassador Trentino : Twenty million dollars is a lot of money. I'd have to take that up with my Minister of Finance.
Rufus T. Firefly : Well, in the meantime, could you let me have twelve dollars until payday?
Ambassador Trentino : Twelve dollars?
Rufus T. Firefly : Don't be scared, you'll get it back. I'll give you my personal note for ninety days. If it isn't paid by then, you can... keep the note.
Ambassador Trentino : Twenty million dollars is a lot of money. I'd have to take that up with my Minister of Finance.
Rufus T. Firefly : Well, in the meantime, could you let me have twelve dollars until payday?
Ambassador Trentino : Twelve dollars?
Rufus T. Firefly : Don't be scared, you'll get it back. I'll give you my personal note for ninety days. If it isn't paid by then, you can... keep the note.
Movie: Duck Soup
Ambassador Trentino : But I asked you to dig up something I can use against Firefly. Did you bring me his record? [ Pinky hands him a gramophone record ]
Ambassador Trentino : No, no! [ Trentino flings the record away like a clay pigeon skeet. Pinky takes out a rifle and blasts it out of the air. Chicolini rings a bell on the desk and awards Pinky a cigar ]
Chicolini : And the boy gets a cigar!
Ambassador Trentino : No, no! [ Trentino flings the record away like a clay pigeon skeet. Pinky takes out a rifle and blasts it out of the air. Chicolini rings a bell on the desk and awards Pinky a cigar ]
Chicolini : And the boy gets a cigar!
Movie: Duck Soup
Ambassador Trentino : You didn't shadow Firefly?
Chicolini : Oh, sure we shadow Firefly - we shadow him all day.
Ambassador Trentino : But what day was that?
Chicolini : Shadowday! [ laughs loudly ]
Chicolini : That's-a some joke, eh, boss? [ Trentino buries his face in his hands ]
Chicolini : Oh, sure we shadow Firefly - we shadow him all day.
Ambassador Trentino : But what day was that?
Chicolini : Shadowday! [ laughs loudly ]
Chicolini : That's-a some joke, eh, boss? [ Trentino buries his face in his hands ]
Movie: Duck Soup
Chicolini : Mister you no understand. Look, he's a spy and I'm a spy, he work-a for me. I want him to find out-a something, but he no find out what I wanna find out. Now how am I gonna find out what I wanna find out if he no find out what I gotta find out?
Movie: Duck Soup
Lemonade Vendor : I'll teach you to kick me!
Chicolini : You don't have to teach me, I know how! [ He kicks him ]
Chicolini : You don't have to teach me, I know how! [ He kicks him ]
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Now that you're Secretary of War, what kind of an army do you think we ought to have?
Chicolini : Well, I tell you what I think, I think we should have a standing army.
Rufus T. Firefly : Why should we have a standing army?
Chicolini : Because then we save money on chairs.
Chicolini : Well, I tell you what I think, I think we should have a standing army.
Rufus T. Firefly : Why should we have a standing army?
Chicolini : Because then we save money on chairs.
Movie: Duck Soup
Bob Roland : This letter's the work of Trentino. The man is trying to undermine you. Now what are you going to do about it?
Rufus T. Firefly : I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run.
Rufus T. Firefly : I've got a good mind to ring his doorbell and run.
Movie: Duck Soup
Rufus T. Firefly : Hey! Do you want to be a public nuisance?
Chicolini : Sure! How much does the job pay?
Chicolini : Sure! How much does the job pay?
Movie: Duck Soup