Due South Quotes
Colonel Shank: [to Fraser and Ray] Now you have been spared the full weight of these penalties thanks to the intercession of the city of Chicago and the government of Canada. Both of whom have requested leniency, claiming, er, diminished mental capacity.
TV Show: Due South
Constable Benton Fraser: [Fraser, dressed in his red Mountie uniform, is teaching Social Studies in an elementary classroom] ... which makes the border between Canada and the United States the longest undefended border in the world. So that since their formation, our countries have found a peaceful way to coexist. Except for the War of 1812, where your country invaded ours and we sent you packing - but that's hardly worth mentioning. Now, I think I'll open the floor to questions. [a boy raises his hand]
Constable Benton Fraser: Yes?
Schoolboy: Do you have to undo all your buttons to go to the toilet?
Constable Benton Fraser: No. Anyone else? [the boy raises his hand again]
Schoolboy: How many do you have to undo?
Constable Benton Fraser: Just enough to get your trousers undone. [the boy raises his hand yet another time]
Constable Benton Fraser: Yes.
Schoolboy: Do they have toilets in Canada?
Constable Benton Fraser: Yes. We do. Anyone else? [the boy raises his hand]
Constable Benton Fraser: Anyone else a'tall? [the boy is frantically raising his hand as Fraser ignores him]
Constable Benton Fraser: Any other questions a'tall?
Constable Benton Fraser: Yes?
Schoolboy: Do you have to undo all your buttons to go to the toilet?
Constable Benton Fraser: No. Anyone else? [the boy raises his hand again]
Schoolboy: How many do you have to undo?
Constable Benton Fraser: Just enough to get your trousers undone. [the boy raises his hand yet another time]
Constable Benton Fraser: Yes.
Schoolboy: Do they have toilets in Canada?
Constable Benton Fraser: Yes. We do. Anyone else? [the boy raises his hand]
Constable Benton Fraser: Anyone else a'tall? [the boy is frantically raising his hand as Fraser ignores him]
Constable Benton Fraser: Any other questions a'tall?
TV Show: Due South
Fraser: Grace loves the opera but she can't afford to sit close.
Ray Vecchio: Yeah, but she's deaf.
Fraser: Well, that doesn't mean she can't enjoy good music.
Ray Vecchio: Really? Oh, I thought it did.
Ray Vecchio: Yeah, but she's deaf.
Fraser: Well, that doesn't mean she can't enjoy good music.
Ray Vecchio: Really? Oh, I thought it did.
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: [to his father's ghost] Don't you have things to do in hell or wherever you are?
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: [Ray and Fraser are trapped inside a meat locker. Both have meat wrapped around them and Ray is wearing Fraser's Stetson] Some people die in their sleep. Others die making love to a beautiful woman. I am going to die wrapped in meat.
Constable Benton Fraser: Don't talk, Ray. You're expending body heat.
Ray Vecchio: I'm going to freeze to death inside My Friend Flicka.
Constable Benton Fraser: Don't talk, Ray. You're expending body heat.
Ray Vecchio: I'm going to freeze to death inside My Friend Flicka.
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Does the word incarcerate mean anything to you?
Fraser: Well it's from the Medieval Latin, incarcerata...â?
Ray Vecchio: Medieval Latin? You let a perp go and you're giving me Medieval Latin?
Fraser: Actually, perpetrator is also Latin, from perpetrare...â?
Ray Vecchio: Shut up, ok? Just shut up.
Fraser: Well it's from the Medieval Latin, incarcerata...â?
Ray Vecchio: Medieval Latin? You let a perp go and you're giving me Medieval Latin?
Fraser: Actually, perpetrator is also Latin, from perpetrare...â?
Ray Vecchio: Shut up, ok? Just shut up.
TV Show: Due South
[The door to the bar crashes open as Fraser enters]
Benton Fraser: Excuse me, can I have your attention please?
[jukebox cuts off abruptly]
Benton Fraser: Thank you. Anyone carrying illegal weapons, if you would place them on the bar. You are under arrest.
[Patrons pull out numerous guns and point them at him. A knife is thrown into the wall near Fraser's head; he never even blinks]
Benton Fraser: You realize I'm going to have to confiscate that?
Benton Fraser: Excuse me, can I have your attention please?
[jukebox cuts off abruptly]
Benton Fraser: Thank you. Anyone carrying illegal weapons, if you would place them on the bar. You are under arrest.
[Patrons pull out numerous guns and point them at him. A knife is thrown into the wall near Fraser's head; he never even blinks]
Benton Fraser: You realize I'm going to have to confiscate that?
TV Show: Due South
[Fraser and Ray are standing in Lt. Walsh's office after a gun fight broke out in a bar]
Lt. Walsh: One solid oak bar, sixteen tables, twelve chairs, one etched mirror, six by nine, one antique pool table, two doors, thirty-two bottles of liquor, and a Pabst Blue Ribbon neon clock. Does this seem like a fairly accurate list of the damages, Detective Vecchio?
Ray Vecchio: I don't believe the pool table was an antique, sir.
Lt. Walsh: Oh, well we'll never know now, will we? Because all that's left is this bag of felt.
Ray: I sought refuge behind the item in question when the suspect pointed a shot gun in my direction and fired repeatedly, sir.
Lt. Walsh: Suspect. I'm glad we finally got around to that because I would hate to think we were responsible for all this damage without a very good reason. You say you identified him by his nose?
Ray: Yes, sir.
Lt. Walsh: You didn't say something about his nose, causing him to fire repeatedly into the bar?
Ray: Ah, no sir.
Lt. Walsh: You just felt that his nose was so offensive that you decided to pursue and arrest him?
Ray: Captain, the suspect is a known felon and you see, I had this hunch that--
Lt. Walsh: You had a hunch? [laughs] A hunch! And you coupled your hunch with with your positive identification of his nose? And this was the basis of your investigation? An investigation which resulted in injury of seven people, three with gun shot wounds, two with broken limbs, one hospitalized with a concussion, and one who claims to have been bitten by a wolf.
Ray: The wolf was just trying to help, sir.
Lt. Walsh: [sarcastically] They usually are!
Lt. Walsh: One solid oak bar, sixteen tables, twelve chairs, one etched mirror, six by nine, one antique pool table, two doors, thirty-two bottles of liquor, and a Pabst Blue Ribbon neon clock. Does this seem like a fairly accurate list of the damages, Detective Vecchio?
Ray Vecchio: I don't believe the pool table was an antique, sir.
Lt. Walsh: Oh, well we'll never know now, will we? Because all that's left is this bag of felt.
Ray: I sought refuge behind the item in question when the suspect pointed a shot gun in my direction and fired repeatedly, sir.
Lt. Walsh: Suspect. I'm glad we finally got around to that because I would hate to think we were responsible for all this damage without a very good reason. You say you identified him by his nose?
Ray: Yes, sir.
Lt. Walsh: You didn't say something about his nose, causing him to fire repeatedly into the bar?
Ray: Ah, no sir.
Lt. Walsh: You just felt that his nose was so offensive that you decided to pursue and arrest him?
Ray: Captain, the suspect is a known felon and you see, I had this hunch that--
Lt. Walsh: You had a hunch? [laughs] A hunch! And you coupled your hunch with with your positive identification of his nose? And this was the basis of your investigation? An investigation which resulted in injury of seven people, three with gun shot wounds, two with broken limbs, one hospitalized with a concussion, and one who claims to have been bitten by a wolf.
Ray: The wolf was just trying to help, sir.
Lt. Walsh: [sarcastically] They usually are!
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Okay, okay. It was the mud right? You knew it came off his shoe because when you sniffed it, it smelled like...mud! I mean, what else does mud smell like?
Benton Fraser: Perhaps it was something off the floor of the bar.
Ray: Wood? No, no, no. Beer and maybe peanut shells. And when you tasted it - which, by the way, I can't believe you put that in your mouth - you tasted the salt from the peanut shells and knew that he had been here, right?
Fraser: Wrong. I guessed. I had a hunch.
Ray: No, no, no, no. You don't have hunches. I have hunches.
Fraser: I had one of your hunches, Ray. Felt good.
Ray: And what was it with the mud? You put mud in your mouth.
Fraser: Ray, she was looking out the window and I simply made her believe I found something.
Ray: You made her believe you were a mud-eater. I can't believe I'm sitting in the same car with you!
Fraser: Where's this address?
Ray: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell him to surrender or you're gonna eat something off the curb?
Benton Fraser: Perhaps it was something off the floor of the bar.
Ray: Wood? No, no, no. Beer and maybe peanut shells. And when you tasted it - which, by the way, I can't believe you put that in your mouth - you tasted the salt from the peanut shells and knew that he had been here, right?
Fraser: Wrong. I guessed. I had a hunch.
Ray: No, no, no, no. You don't have hunches. I have hunches.
Fraser: I had one of your hunches, Ray. Felt good.
Ray: And what was it with the mud? You put mud in your mouth.
Fraser: Ray, she was looking out the window and I simply made her believe I found something.
Ray: You made her believe you were a mud-eater. I can't believe I'm sitting in the same car with you!
Fraser: Where's this address?
Ray: Why? What are you gonna do? Tell him to surrender or you're gonna eat something off the curb?
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: One-two-seven-hundred Franklin. One officer on the scene and tell 'em not to shoot the guy in the hat.
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: So we got some fishing rods, a rifle last used by Chuck Conners, and a bag of rice. So what's your plan?
Benton Fraser: We wait for them to come.
Ray: Yeah? And?
Fraser: Then we arrest them.
Ray: You see that's such a simple plan that the American mind automatically tends to discount it, so let me run it back to you: We wait here. Gerard and God knows who else comes - sometime when? We're not sure. And then, when we least expect it, they shoot us dead with automatic weapons. Any part I left out?
Fraser: Yes. I need Gerard alive to testify, so we can't kill him.
Ray: Oh, I don't think we're in any danger of doing that.
Benton Fraser: We wait for them to come.
Ray: Yeah? And?
Fraser: Then we arrest them.
Ray: You see that's such a simple plan that the American mind automatically tends to discount it, so let me run it back to you: We wait here. Gerard and God knows who else comes - sometime when? We're not sure. And then, when we least expect it, they shoot us dead with automatic weapons. Any part I left out?
Fraser: Yes. I need Gerard alive to testify, so we can't kill him.
Ray: Oh, I don't think we're in any danger of doing that.
TV Show: Due South
Benton Fraser: When I graduated from the Academy my father gave me one piece of advice. He said, "Always..." No, he said, "Never..." Well, actually, he gave me two pieces of advice but I've forgotten the other one. But the important one is, "Never chase a man over a cliff."
Ray Vecchio: That's supposed to mean something in Canadian, isn't it?
Ray Vecchio: That's supposed to mean something in Canadian, isn't it?
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: You know, we just took out seven guys. One more and you qualify for American citizenship.
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: ...Listen, I just want to know if you can really smell what's in mud? 'Cause I've been following this guy... [Ray gets no response from Fraser] Are you listening to me? I can't believe it! I get my ass blown off for you and you can't even nod! [still nothing] Okay, how about winking? [nothing] Winking's against the law?!
TV Show: Due South
Bum: Ah, when he gets off work can you give him this? It's the hundred he lent me.
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Fraser, you do not want to live in this neighborhood. Cops do not live in areas like this. Most people we bust won't live here.
Benton Fraser: Why? It's central, convenient. I could walk to work in seven minutes.
Ray: Not without backup.
Benton Fraser: Why? It's central, convenient. I could walk to work in seven minutes.
Ray: Not without backup.
TV Show: Due South
Ray Vecchio: Do me a favor, let's just turn around. I'll take you back to your hotel.
Fraser: No, I can't. I checked out - the windows wouldn't open.
Ray: Fraser, this is Chicago. The only reason to open a window is to get a better aim.
Fraser: No, I can't. I checked out - the windows wouldn't open.
Ray: Fraser, this is Chicago. The only reason to open a window is to get a better aim.
TV Show: Due South
Dennis: Yo, I found the key.
Benton Fraser: I'll be right up, sir. [whispers] Ray, Ray, Ray.
Ray Vecchio: What?
Fraser: Is my lanyard straight?
Ray: [referring to Dennis] He's a slum lord !
Benton Fraser: I'll be right up, sir. [whispers] Ray, Ray, Ray.
Ray Vecchio: What?
Fraser: Is my lanyard straight?
Ray: [referring to Dennis] He's a slum lord !
TV Show: Due South