Entourage Quotes
[Just before the Queens Boulevard premiere, Vince and E see Turtle and Drama try ignore each other]
Turtle: Come on Drama, what are you thinking, bro?
Drama: [brushes off Turtle] Don't touch me, Turtle. I can't hear you, I can't even see you, I don't even wanna know you
Turtle: You're yelling, alright?
E: What's your problem, Drama?
Turtle: Me and Drama had a little incident.
E: What kind of incident?
Drama: Don't fucking say it, man.
Vince: No no, say it.
Turtle: [long pause] We accidentally crossed swords.
E: Eww, really?
Vince: Really? Were there any women in there, at least?
Turtle: It was a threesome, dickhead. It's no biggie, crossing is an occupational hazard.
Turtle: Come on Drama, what are you thinking, bro?
Drama: [brushes off Turtle] Don't touch me, Turtle. I can't hear you, I can't even see you, I don't even wanna know you
Turtle: You're yelling, alright?
E: What's your problem, Drama?
Turtle: Me and Drama had a little incident.
E: What kind of incident?
Drama: Don't fucking say it, man.
Vince: No no, say it.
Turtle: [long pause] We accidentally crossed swords.
E: Eww, really?
Vince: Really? Were there any women in there, at least?
Turtle: It was a threesome, dickhead. It's no biggie, crossing is an occupational hazard.
TV Show: Entourage
[Vince receives a call from Ari]
Vince: Oww, what's up?
Ari: Vinnie, say hello to James Cameron.
James Cameron: Call me Jim, Vince.
Vince: Okay, Jim. What's happening?
Cameron: I could only stay for a bit of the film, but I gotta tell ya, it was all I needed to see. How'd you like to come play Aquaman for me?
Vince: Ahh, sure. I could do that for you.
Cameron: Fantastic. Let's get together next week and talk about it.
Vince: Okay!
Cameron: See you then, looking forward to it.
Vince: Talk to you later, bye. [to gang, giving phone back to E] Cameron just offered me Aquaman.
Vince: Oww, what's up?
Ari: Vinnie, say hello to James Cameron.
James Cameron: Call me Jim, Vince.
Vince: Okay, Jim. What's happening?
Cameron: I could only stay for a bit of the film, but I gotta tell ya, it was all I needed to see. How'd you like to come play Aquaman for me?
Vince: Ahh, sure. I could do that for you.
Cameron: Fantastic. Let's get together next week and talk about it.
Vince: Okay!
Cameron: See you then, looking forward to it.
Vince: Talk to you later, bye. [to gang, giving phone back to E] Cameron just offered me Aquaman.
TV Show: Entourage
Vince: Any big news stories today, E?
Eric: What do you mean?
Vince: Mandy's really smart. She was always testing me on what was going on in the world.
[Everyone is silent.]
Turtle: I heard Pamela Anderson dropped another tit size.
Eric: What do you mean?
Vince: Mandy's really smart. She was always testing me on what was going on in the world.
[Everyone is silent.]
Turtle: I heard Pamela Anderson dropped another tit size.
TV Show: Entourage
Drama: This is kind of embarrassing, but sometimes I wake up in the morning fully tented. Any advice?
Dr. Joyce Brothers: Well, at your age, consider yourself lucky.
Dr. Joyce Brothers: Well, at your age, consider yourself lucky.
TV Show: Entourage
Turtle: [upon seeing Ari give Drama Lakers tickets instead of U2 concert tickets for his birthday] Ari Gold, you just got demoted to Silver.
TV Show: Entourage
[At the San Diego Comic Con, E and Turtle has failed to convince RJ Spencer to drop his plans to slam Vince over his website]
Jesse Jane: [seeing Spencer walk away upon being threatened by Turtle] What the fuck is his problem?
E: He hates Vince. He's gonna trash him on his website, saying he's gonna make a shitty Aquaman.
Jesse Jane: Why? Vince would make an adorable Aquaman.
E: You should tell him that.
Turtle: Yeah sweetie, you should. If Aquaman is in trouble, and the fate of the land and all mankind is in his hands, he should unleash the power of the pussy.
Jesse Jane: Don't bullshit me, tough guy. If I do it, I'll do it because I like Vince.
Jesse Jane: [seeing Spencer walk away upon being threatened by Turtle] What the fuck is his problem?
E: He hates Vince. He's gonna trash him on his website, saying he's gonna make a shitty Aquaman.
Jesse Jane: Why? Vince would make an adorable Aquaman.
E: You should tell him that.
Turtle: Yeah sweetie, you should. If Aquaman is in trouble, and the fate of the land and all mankind is in his hands, he should unleash the power of the pussy.
Jesse Jane: Don't bullshit me, tough guy. If I do it, I'll do it because I like Vince.
TV Show: Entourage
[Ari confronts Terrence McQuewick over his attempt to get Vince as a client.]
Ari: Vince is my client. I took him from nothing, alright, and now he is on the cusp. I ain't sharing him.
Terrence: You know when I started this company in 1971, my mantra was, "Every client should be represented by every agent in the building." And yes alright, technically, he is your client, but this is my agency.
Ari: And I'm a fucking partner.
Terrence: I've had more than a few partners. Not all of them have lasted. Enjoy your evening. [leaves]
Ari: Vince is my client. I took him from nothing, alright, and now he is on the cusp. I ain't sharing him.
Terrence: You know when I started this company in 1971, my mantra was, "Every client should be represented by every agent in the building." And yes alright, technically, he is your client, but this is my agency.
Ari: And I'm a fucking partner.
Terrence: I've had more than a few partners. Not all of them have lasted. Enjoy your evening. [leaves]
TV Show: Entourage
[Drama tries to talk two kids out of asking for a cigarette lighter]
Drama: One day you're lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next you're cruisin' Santa Monica Boulevard offering handjobs for a crack rock.
Kid: Which one of you did that? [Drama looks guilty.]
Drama: One day you're lighting up in front of a dozen adults at a Bat Mitzvah, the next you're cruisin' Santa Monica Boulevard offering handjobs for a crack rock.
Kid: Which one of you did that? [Drama looks guilty.]
TV Show: Entourage
Drama: I remember I broke up with Stacy Laruzzo a week before Valentine's Day. I got back with her a week after. No chocolates, no roses...
Eric: No class.
Eric: No class.
TV Show: Entourage
Vince: We look at it like we've been dating for five years with a four and a half-year break.
TV Show: Entourage
[The gang just got back the Maserati]
Drama: I'm telling you, once your car's been stolen, it never runs the same again. It's like a guy sleeping with your girl. He leaves his mark all over her.
Drama: I'm telling you, once your car's been stolen, it never runs the same again. It's like a guy sleeping with your girl. He leaves his mark all over her.
TV Show: Entourage
[Vince is not happy with a supposed revelation from James Cameron about being replaced in Aquaman because of co-star Mandy Moore]
Vince: He didn't call?
Ari: No, he did not call.
Eric: Jesus Christ!
Vince: [to Ari] No, you're fucking pathological.
Ari: Listen. Read Jack Welch, Tony Robbins, Phil Jackson. Motivation! This shit works! You want to be Shaq or Kobe? Michael or Scotty? Damon or Affleck?
Eric: [angrily] Ari, do you want to be out of our lives, man, 'cause this could seriously be the end of you
Ari: I am your biggest fan, I think you are this close to being the biggest movie star on the planet but you are slipping...over a girl?, I've never seen you like this before and it worries me.
Eric: Well, worry about yourself, he's fine
Vince: No...he's right to worry about me, I mean you both are, fuck!, i'm worried about me.
Vince: He didn't call?
Ari: No, he did not call.
Eric: Jesus Christ!
Vince: [to Ari] No, you're fucking pathological.
Ari: Listen. Read Jack Welch, Tony Robbins, Phil Jackson. Motivation! This shit works! You want to be Shaq or Kobe? Michael or Scotty? Damon or Affleck?
Eric: [angrily] Ari, do you want to be out of our lives, man, 'cause this could seriously be the end of you
Ari: I am your biggest fan, I think you are this close to being the biggest movie star on the planet but you are slipping...over a girl?, I've never seen you like this before and it worries me.
Eric: Well, worry about yourself, he's fine
Vince: No...he's right to worry about me, I mean you both are, fuck!, i'm worried about me.
TV Show: Entourage
[Ari has his Jerry Maguire moment after Terrence McQuewick fires him over the Tsetse Fly Elite Eight plan]
Ari: I will be starting my own agency. Two very important goals will apply: to make everyone who is in at the ground floor rich, and to burn this motherfucking place to the ground! Lloyd, are you with me? [Lloyd remains silent. Ari approaches him] Lloyd, what are you doing? You and me we have a special bond. Come on, let's go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari: I can't swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.
Ari: I will be starting my own agency. Two very important goals will apply: to make everyone who is in at the ground floor rich, and to burn this motherfucking place to the ground! Lloyd, are you with me? [Lloyd remains silent. Ari approaches him] Lloyd, what are you doing? You and me we have a special bond. Come on, let's go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation.
Ari: I can't swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after.
TV Show: Entourage
Turtle: He cries in front of her, shows her he's sensitive... bang! He moves right in.
Drama: Yeah. His tears will basically act as a lubricant.
Drama: Yeah. His tears will basically act as a lubricant.
TV Show: Entourage
[Lloyd notices Ari's angry face after leaving Vince's Malibu house]
Lloyd: How'd it go?
Ari: How'd the fucking Bay of Pigs go, Lloyd?
Lloyd: How'd it go?
Ari: How'd the fucking Bay of Pigs go, Lloyd?
TV Show: Entourage
[Drama finally confronts Adam Davies over why he is avoiding his calls.]
Drama: Are you my agent or not?
Davies: You were a family deal. If Vince is not a client, frankly, you're not a client.
Pauly Shore: [laughs] Karma is a bitch! [referring to how Drama helped him get banned from the Playboy Mansion. Drama tries to punch Davies but Turtle holds him back] We're in a fucking meeting, man.
Drama: You promised me something I would steal. [gets Davies' office TV]
Shore: Taking his TV, what're you a fucking Surreal Life cast member, you freak? [laughs]
Drama: [to Davies] I'll see you on the outside! [marches out of office]
Pauly Shore: Get a life, loser boy!
Drama: Are you my agent or not?
Davies: You were a family deal. If Vince is not a client, frankly, you're not a client.
Pauly Shore: [laughs] Karma is a bitch! [referring to how Drama helped him get banned from the Playboy Mansion. Drama tries to punch Davies but Turtle holds him back] We're in a fucking meeting, man.
Drama: You promised me something I would steal. [gets Davies' office TV]
Shore: Taking his TV, what're you a fucking Surreal Life cast member, you freak? [laughs]
Drama: [to Davies] I'll see you on the outside! [marches out of office]
Pauly Shore: Get a life, loser boy!
TV Show: Entourage
[The gang hands out Aquaman premiere invites to hot girls passing by]
Drama: It's like chummin’ for sharks, Vince. You throw enough blood and guts in the water, you're bound to catch a great white.
Eric: Yeah, except there's gonna be fifty girls at the party who all show up thinkin' they're your dates.
Turtle: And what happens when fifty sharks show up lookin' for their goodies, E?
Drama and Turtle: Feeding frenzy!
Drama: It's like chummin’ for sharks, Vince. You throw enough blood and guts in the water, you're bound to catch a great white.
Eric: Yeah, except there's gonna be fifty girls at the party who all show up thinkin' they're your dates.
Turtle: And what happens when fifty sharks show up lookin' for their goodies, E?
Drama and Turtle: Feeding frenzy!
TV Show: Entourage
[Vince tries to convince his mother to be with him at Aquaman's LA premiere...over the radio]
Vince: Ma?
Mrs Chase: Yeah, baby?
Vince: I love you and I've never pressured you to come out. Not for any of my premieres, not when I bought my house, but I didn't realize how big a night this is until a little while ago, and it's important to me that I share it with you. So I'll send a boat, I'll send a plane, I'll do whatever I have to do, but I want you by my side when I walk down that red carpet.
Shauna: [at engineer's room] This is moving shit.
Drama: Yeah. It still won't work.
Vince: Ma?
Mrs Chase: Vince?
Vince: Yeah?
Mrs Chase: All right, I will do it. I'm coming. [Vince is elated]
Radio hosts: Yeah! You gout yourself a date! [repeats last line many times]
Vince: Ma?
Mrs Chase: Yeah, baby?
Vince: I love you and I've never pressured you to come out. Not for any of my premieres, not when I bought my house, but I didn't realize how big a night this is until a little while ago, and it's important to me that I share it with you. So I'll send a boat, I'll send a plane, I'll do whatever I have to do, but I want you by my side when I walk down that red carpet.
Shauna: [at engineer's room] This is moving shit.
Drama: Yeah. It still won't work.
Vince: Ma?
Mrs Chase: Vince?
Vince: Yeah?
Mrs Chase: All right, I will do it. I'm coming. [Vince is elated]
Radio hosts: Yeah! You gout yourself a date! [repeats last line many times]
TV Show: Entourage
Ari: We're gonna dent that headboard. No bullshit. I guarantee you! You will not walk right tomorrow.
TV Show: Entourage
[Ari is at his house, nervous with the prospect that "Aquaman" may hit low numbers on its premiere.]
Ari: Blackouts? Fuckin' Blackouts! [looks up at the sky] Thank you very much!
Ari's Wife: The town will understand it, Ari. It's not the movie's fault.
Ari: : Baby... It wasn't the Cubs' fault when that douchebag grabbed the foul ball either, but they still don't get the World Series' ring. There are no asterisks in this life, only scoreboards, and ours is currently reading "FUCKED"!
Ari: Blackouts? Fuckin' Blackouts! [looks up at the sky] Thank you very much!
Ari's Wife: The town will understand it, Ari. It's not the movie's fault.
Ari: : Baby... It wasn't the Cubs' fault when that douchebag grabbed the foul ball either, but they still don't get the World Series' ring. There are no asterisks in this life, only scoreboards, and ours is currently reading "FUCKED"!
TV Show: Entourage
Ari: [to Turtle] Hey, moron. He's thirteen.
Drama: In celeb years, it's like 30.
Eric: So what's that make you, Drama? Like, 140?
Drama: So you're admitting I'm a celeb.
Drama: In celeb years, it's like 30.
Eric: So what's that make you, Drama? Like, 140?
Drama: So you're admitting I'm a celeb.
TV Show: Entourage
[In the kitchen, E, Turtle, and Drama are hearing the loud voices of a girl having sex with Dom]
Drama: You hearing this guy, E?
E: I hate being seen over here with this guy, Drama.
Drama: It's hysterical. [Drinks coffee]
E: Hysterical's waking up at 5am thinking somebody's been murdered.
Turtle: Guy's been out of commission for five years, he's making up for lost time.
[The girl finishes]
Drama: [checks watch] Couple of minutes more he would have had my record beat.
Drama: You hearing this guy, E?
E: I hate being seen over here with this guy, Drama.
Drama: It's hysterical. [Drinks coffee]
E: Hysterical's waking up at 5am thinking somebody's been murdered.
Turtle: Guy's been out of commission for five years, he's making up for lost time.
[The girl finishes]
Drama: [checks watch] Couple of minutes more he would have had my record beat.
TV Show: Entourage
Eric: [Waking up at 5: 30 a.m. and dialing Ari] Enjoy this, motherfucker.
Mrs Ari: [hearing Ari's phone ring] Who died?
Ari: No one, yet. [answers the phone] What?
Eric: It looks like I woke you up this time, Ari.
Ari: No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something. Is he?
Eric: No...
Ari: Then what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle?
Mrs Ari: [hearing Ari's phone ring] Who died?
Ari: No one, yet. [answers the phone] What?
Eric: It looks like I woke you up this time, Ari.
Ari: No, but you did wake my wife and kids, dickhead. Vinnie better be sitting in prison with a DUI or something. Is he?
Eric: No...
Ari: Then what the fuck do you want, cunt muscle?
TV Show: Entourage
[Ari has called E early in the morning]
E: So, we had an offer?
Ari: No, we got a problem.
E: Oh, don't tell me that Ari, not today. You said you were sure.
Ari: I was. I just got a call with Rubenstein's people. Somebody robbed his house at the party last night.
E: What?
Ari: Somebody stole the original Shrek doll right out of its apparently-impossible-to-break-into case.
E: Jesus.
Ari: Cops are all over this. I don't mean to tell you this E, but if this goes bad for us, you can kiss Bogota goodbye.
E: Why would it come bad for us?
Ari: I'm thinking about your new housemate, E.
E: Ari, there were 300 people there.
Ari: WELL, 299 OF THEM DIDN'T SERVE TIME!
E: So, we had an offer?
Ari: No, we got a problem.
E: Oh, don't tell me that Ari, not today. You said you were sure.
Ari: I was. I just got a call with Rubenstein's people. Somebody robbed his house at the party last night.
E: What?
Ari: Somebody stole the original Shrek doll right out of its apparently-impossible-to-break-into case.
E: Jesus.
Ari: Cops are all over this. I don't mean to tell you this E, but if this goes bad for us, you can kiss Bogota goodbye.
E: Why would it come bad for us?
Ari: I'm thinking about your new housemate, E.
E: Ari, there were 300 people there.
Ari: WELL, 299 OF THEM DIDN'T SERVE TIME!
TV Show: Entourage
Ari: Baby, those tears mean our little girl is gonna stay our little girl for at least another day.
Ari's Wife: Awww, Ari.
Ari: Now, how about a quick blowjob before my Vince dinner?
Ari's Wife: Awww, Ari.
Ari: Now, how about a quick blowjob before my Vince dinner?
TV Show: Entourage
Drama: You know what they say: "An actor with a no agent is..."
Eric: Is what?
Drama: Is fucked!
Eric: Is what?
Drama: Is fucked!
TV Show: Entourage
[Drama reflects on Sloan's friend, who joined the group on their night out and was introduced to him and Turtle]
Drama: She was ice cold. Did you hear what she said to me when I asked to buy her a drink?
Eric: No, what?
Drama: "No, thank you." What a bitch.
Drama: She was ice cold. Did you hear what she said to me when I asked to buy her a drink?
Eric: No, what?
Drama: "No, thank you." What a bitch.
TV Show: Entourage
Ari: People, staff meeting has been canceled. You will all have one goal today: to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. [shows pic of Drama] Any job. I don't care if its a porn shoot in which he is being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverback apes, if there are cameras rolling, everybody wins. Ten grand to anyone that can deliver this to me today.
Lloyd: [after following Ari out of the conference room] Can I vie for the ten grand prize also, Ari?
Ari: Sure, but you'll get paid in yen. Now try E one more fucking time.
Lloyd: [after following Ari out of the conference room] Can I vie for the ten grand prize also, Ari?
Ari: Sure, but you'll get paid in yen. Now try E one more fucking time.
TV Show: Entourage
Drama: Freud says there are no accidents...
Eric: Oh, yeah? You two crossed swords during your threesome... accident?
Eric: Oh, yeah? You two crossed swords during your threesome... accident?
TV Show: Entourage
Turtle: It could be fun, Vince. Like that time you got auctioned off at the Feed the World event.
Vince: Jesus. Remember that Cuban guy who bought me and wanted me to come live with him in Havana?
Drama: The guy never sent me those Cuban cigars he promised. I should call.
Turtle: Yeah. Ask him if he knows any good lefties for the Yanks' bullpen while you're at it.
Vince: Jesus. Remember that Cuban guy who bought me and wanted me to come live with him in Havana?
Drama: The guy never sent me those Cuban cigars he promised. I should call.
Turtle: Yeah. Ask him if he knows any good lefties for the Yanks' bullpen while you're at it.
TV Show: Entourage