Eureka Quotes
Jack Carter: This is obstruction of justice.
Zoe Carter: How do you figure?
Jack Carter: You’re making me late for work.
Zoe Carter: How do you figure?
Jack Carter: You’re making me late for work.
TV Show: Eureka
Zoe Carter: (about seeing Beverly) Actually, my Dad’s making me go here. Apparently I have issues with authority and listening and… I don’t know, other stuff. I wasn’t really paying attention, so…
TV Show: Eureka
Allison Blake: Are you okay?
Jo Lupo: Just my luck right? All the good ones are either gay, married, or robots.
Jo Lupo: Just my luck right? All the good ones are either gay, married, or robots.
TV Show: Eureka
Douglas Fargo: (while Stark is testing his invention) Why are you trying to access my file?
Nathan Stark: To see if you’re remotely qualified to be tapping into my cerebral cortex.
Nathan Stark: To see if you’re remotely qualified to be tapping into my cerebral cortex.
TV Show: Eureka
Jo Lupo: Another five minutes and I would have chewed off my own leg!
Zane Donovan: Your mouth is probably big enough.
Zane Donovan: Your mouth is probably big enough.
TV Show: Eureka
Zoe Carter: The school's gone completely out of control. Kids in fights, making out in the hallways, teachers apathetic.
Jack Carter: So, more like normal school, then.
Zoe Carter: Exactly.
Jack Carter: So, more like normal school, then.
Zoe Carter: Exactly.
TV Show: Eureka
Jo Lupo: Hey, um, after that call, do you um, maybe wanna go for a, a break-up dinner?
Zane Donovan: No. (long pause) How about a make-up dinner instead?
(they kiss)
Jo Lupo: Guess it's not so bad being stuck together.
Zane Donovan: No. (long pause) How about a make-up dinner instead?
(they kiss)
Jo Lupo: Guess it's not so bad being stuck together.
TV Show: Eureka
(Sheriff Andy has just been fried by a tensor field)
Sheriff Andy: (moaning) Ouch! I don't think I like this job.
Sheriff Andy: (moaning) Ouch! I don't think I like this job.
TV Show: Eureka
Jack Carter: [into phone] Hey, uh, Allison, it's Jack. Listen, um, people are acting a little weird and we...well, frankly you're acting a little weird. Um, but, we should really get together and sort this out before it gets any worse.
Jo Lupo: [manhandling Seth into the station] Caught him trying to burn down Fargo's house.
Jack Carter: (still into phone) Too late.
Jo Lupo: [manhandling Seth into the station] Caught him trying to burn down Fargo's house.
Jack Carter: (still into phone) Too late.
TV Show: Eureka
Douglas Fargo: I'm sure you were great in the last town you worked in-
Jack Carter: America, Fargo. I was a US Marshall, my last town was America.
Jack Carter: America, Fargo. I was a US Marshall, my last town was America.
TV Show: Eureka
Stark: Wake me when it's over.
Allison: Reminds me of the last time we slept together.
Carter: Ooh!
Stark: At least you can remember it.
Allison: Reminds me of the last time we slept together.
Carter: Ooh!
Stark: At least you can remember it.
TV Show: Eureka
(Allison is trying to seduce Carter)
Carter: I can't.
Allison: (glances down, amused) Really? (looks down again)
Carter: Oh, no, I mean, I can! I'm fully capable.
Carter: I can't.
Allison: (glances down, amused) Really? (looks down again)
Carter: Oh, no, I mean, I can! I'm fully capable.
TV Show: Eureka
Jo: You're no fun.
Carter: You know what'd be fun?
Jo: Ice skating!
Carter: Never mind.
Carter: You know what'd be fun?
Jo: Ice skating!
Carter: Never mind.
TV Show: Eureka
Carter: (armed with a flamethrower) Unless you want me to roast your chestnuts, back off!
Taggart: (naked and armed with a shovel) You wouldn't dare.
Carter: Try me.
(Taggart drops his shovel and runs off screaming)
Taggart: (naked and armed with a shovel) You wouldn't dare.
Carter: Try me.
(Taggart drops his shovel and runs off screaming)
TV Show: Eureka
Allison: All I know is that there is something inside section 5, something Nathan's obsessed with. Something that he thinks will change the world.
Carter: Of course, it's incredibly dangerous.
Allison: Have you ever known anything to change the world that wasn't incredibly dangerous?
Carter: Velcro.
Carter: Of course, it's incredibly dangerous.
Allison: Have you ever known anything to change the world that wasn't incredibly dangerous?
Carter: Velcro.
TV Show: Eureka
Jim Taggart: Smart mice. IQ's through the roof. Little varmints used vector formulas to keep me off their tracks.
Jo Lupo: How'd you catch them?
Jim Taggart: Smart cheese.
Jo Lupo: How'd you catch them?
Jim Taggart: Smart cheese.
TV Show: Eureka
Henry Deacon: I'm leaving Eureka, because I'm tired of watching noble ideas being turned into weapons, and here we are, here we are at the mercy of a weapon that had been turned into a noble idea.
TV Show: Eureka
Henry Deacon: Fargo turns a relic of war into something beautiful and life affirming and then gets chastised, because it's actually trying to help us avert disaster.
Nathan Stark: He got chastised, because it's holding us hostage!
Nathan Stark: He got chastised, because it's holding us hostage!
TV Show: Eureka
Nathan Stark: Fargo, please tell me you laid in a back door?
Douglas Fargo: I'd really, really like to.
Douglas Fargo: I'd really, really like to.
TV Show: Eureka
Jo Lupo: (holding a canister) Hey, could you come here for a second?
Zane Donovan: Why? So you can hit me with that?
Jo Lupo: Not until you tell me what it is first.
Zane Donovan: Why? So you can hit me with that?
Jo Lupo: Not until you tell me what it is first.
TV Show: Eureka
Zane Donovan: (to Jo) Don't you look at me in that tone of voice.
...
Jo Lupo: (answering Zane' s phone) Dr. Bonehead's lab.
Jack Carter: (on phone) Let me guess, you two are still stuck together.
Jo Lupo: Just until I can reach my gun.
...
Jo Lupo: (answering Zane' s phone) Dr. Bonehead's lab.
Jack Carter: (on phone) Let me guess, you two are still stuck together.
Jo Lupo: Just until I can reach my gun.
TV Show: Eureka
Carter: (to Jo and Zane, who are stuck together) Hey, guys, pick out a china pattern yet?
TV Show: Eureka
Jo Lupo: God, what if I have to go to the bathroom?
Zane Donovan: Why do you think I'm working so fast? I had four cups of coffee this morning.
Zane Donovan: Why do you think I'm working so fast? I had four cups of coffee this morning.
TV Show: Eureka
Jack Carter: We need dynamite. God I wish Lupo was here.
Henry Deacon: Thats's it. We'll just blow her up.
Jack Carter: She's not here.
(Nathan slides glass of beer away from Carter)
Henry Deacon: Thats's it. We'll just blow her up.
Jack Carter: She's not here.
(Nathan slides glass of beer away from Carter)
TV Show: Eureka
Zoe Carter: [during her graduation speech] Thank you for making me and my dad a part of your family. I promise to do my share of the chores, and I'll try not to blow up the world if you don't.
TV Show: Eureka