Eureka Quotes
Jack Carter: Taggart said the combustion was caused by meson particles coming from a solar flare. I'm no astrophysicist but I don't think there are a lot of solar flares inside a house.
Henry Deacon: He's right.
Jo Lupo: Really?
Jack Carter: Could you not act so surprised?
Henry Deacon: He's right.
Jo Lupo: Really?
Jack Carter: Could you not act so surprised?
TV Show: Eureka
Henry Deacon: There's not much tissue left but I can run a DNA sample and get an ID.
Jack Carter: Nah, I know who it is. It's fat, sweaty Asian guy.
Vincent: What?!
Allison Blake: Carter!
Jack Carter: I'm being descriptive - if I knew his name, I'd use it!
Jack Carter: Nah, I know who it is. It's fat, sweaty Asian guy.
Vincent: What?!
Allison Blake: Carter!
Jack Carter: I'm being descriptive - if I knew his name, I'd use it!
TV Show: Eureka
Jo Lupo: Maybe it was just a one time thing. You know. Adrenaline. Heat of the moment.
Zoe Carter: Making out with Taggart? More like a moment of insanity.
Jo Lupo: Not so loud. Look, I really need some outside perspective here. Please?
Zoe Carter: You want perspective?
Jo Lupo: Uh-huh.
Zoe Carter: You hooked up with a guy whose age difference with you is the same as me and my dad.
Jo Lupo: (Looks over at Taggart. Taggart waves. Jo waves back.)That did it.
Zoe Carter: Making out with Taggart? More like a moment of insanity.
Jo Lupo: Not so loud. Look, I really need some outside perspective here. Please?
Zoe Carter: You want perspective?
Jo Lupo: Uh-huh.
Zoe Carter: You hooked up with a guy whose age difference with you is the same as me and my dad.
Jo Lupo: (Looks over at Taggart. Taggart waves. Jo waves back.)That did it.
TV Show: Eureka
[as Stark prepares to shoot Fargo with a goo gun]
Douglas Fargo: Dr. Stark, are you smiling?
Nathan Stark: No, of course not!
Douglas Fargo: Dr. Stark, are you smiling?
Nathan Stark: No, of course not!
TV Show: Eureka
Jack Carter: Do we have any suspects yet?
Jo Lupo: No, unless you count this long list of people who find Fargo as annoying as we do.
Douglas Fargo: Hey! That's not true... oh yes it is.
Jo Lupo: No, unless you count this long list of people who find Fargo as annoying as we do.
Douglas Fargo: Hey! That's not true... oh yes it is.
TV Show: Eureka
Nathan Stark: Good job Carter. Wow that didn't even leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Jack Carter: Give it a second.
Nathan Stark: Oh there it is.
Jack Carter: Give it a second.
Nathan Stark: Oh there it is.
TV Show: Eureka
Jack Carter: You've never swung an ax in your life.
Nathan Stark: I've swung things you don't even know about.
Jack Carter: What does that even mean?
Nathan Stark: I've swung things you don't even know about.
Jack Carter: What does that even mean?
TV Show: Eureka
SARAH: Today’s forecast calls for heat, frost, rain, hail, gale force winds and severe lightning.
Jack Carter: [re: S.A.R.A.H.] I’ll have Fargo give her a check-up.
Jack Carter: [re: S.A.R.A.H.] I’ll have Fargo give her a check-up.
TV Show: Eureka
Allison Blake: [over the radio] How hard is it to push a button?
Jack Carter: [fighting gale-force winds] You wanna do it?
Jack Carter: [fighting gale-force winds] You wanna do it?
TV Show: Eureka
Abby Carter: SARAH, forgive me if I don’t feel the need to justify my parental choices to a talking bunker.
SARAH: Fine, don’t let the door hit you on the way…
Abby Carter: [interrupting] Yeah, you wanna piece of me?
Jack Carter: Ahem. Are you, uh, threatening the house?
Abby Carter: She started it.
SARAH: Fine, don’t let the door hit you on the way…
Abby Carter: [interrupting] Yeah, you wanna piece of me?
Jack Carter: Ahem. Are you, uh, threatening the house?
Abby Carter: She started it.
TV Show: Eureka
Douglas Fargo: Sorry, all class 8 research is classified.
Jack Carter: Oh. Y’know what else should be classified? Uh, a certain assistant’s American Idol audition.
Douglas Fargo: What? No, no, Zoe promised me she was gonna delete that!
Jack Carter: So what’s it gonna be?
Douglas Fargo: Fine. Give me an hour
Jack Carter: Oh. Y’know what else should be classified? Uh, a certain assistant’s American Idol audition.
Douglas Fargo: What? No, no, Zoe promised me she was gonna delete that!
Jack Carter: So what’s it gonna be?
Douglas Fargo: Fine. Give me an hour
TV Show: Eureka
Jack Carter: I mean, they’re only kids. How much trouble can they get into? I mean, uh, Jo made it seem like the sky is falling.
Nathan Stark: That hasn’t happened since 2004. And that was more of an igniting of the ionosphere.
Nathan Stark: That hasn’t happened since 2004. And that was more of an igniting of the ionosphere.
TV Show: Eureka
S.A.R.A.H: Sometimes I think she says these things just to hurt me.
Jack Carter: No I say things just to hurt you.
Jack Carter: No I say things just to hurt you.
TV Show: Eureka
Jack Carter: [about Fargo’s grandfather being in stasis] Hey, um, is anyone curious as to how he got in there?
Nathan Stark: He’s a Fargo. Are you really surprised?
Douglas Fargo: I am standing right here.
Nathan Stark: He’s a Fargo. Are you really surprised?
Douglas Fargo: I am standing right here.
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Dr. Fargo: Say, did we ever get to the moon?
Douglas Fargo: In ’62.
Dr. Fargo: Way to go, guys!
Douglas Fargo: Top secret of course. We didn’t go public until ’69.
Douglas Fargo: In ’62.
Dr. Fargo: Way to go, guys!
Douglas Fargo: Top secret of course. We didn’t go public until ’69.
TV Show: Eureka
Nathan Stark: Of all people to bring out of cryostasis I resurrect another Fargo.
Jack Carter: Yeah, karma's a bitch.
Jack Carter: Yeah, karma's a bitch.
TV Show: Eureka
Stark: This the new kid?
Zane: Who you calling kid, Spartacus?
Stark: Ooh, cocky, I like him.
Carter: You would.
Zane: Who you calling kid, Spartacus?
Stark: Ooh, cocky, I like him.
Carter: You would.
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Zane: (while being arrested) Excellent response time. You guys take Lake Street?
FBI agent: Went up by Lincoln Park. Less traffic.
FBI agent: Went up by Lincoln Park. Less traffic.
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Carter: (about the price of Zane) Whoa! Twenty-five thousand for this guy?
Zane: (to Allison) For thirty, I'll throw in dinner and a movie. But it won't go past second base. I'm not that kind of boy.
Zane: (to Allison) For thirty, I'll throw in dinner and a movie. But it won't go past second base. I'm not that kind of boy.
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Zane: What's the project status?
Allison: Ah, well, everyone at GD wants to get their hands on the data.
Zane: Big Bang whores, every one of 'em.
Allison: Ah, well, everyone at GD wants to get their hands on the data.
Zane: Big Bang whores, every one of 'em.
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Zane Donovan: Obsession with firearms can be a sign of unfulfilled sexual appetite. I'm not saying that's you, but if it is, I'm at your service.
[Jo points a large gun at Zane]
Zane Donovan: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Jack Carter: Jo, Jo, Jo! Don't shoot the prisoner. Don't.
Jo Lupo: How about I just wing him?
[Jo points a large gun at Zane]
Zane Donovan: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Jack Carter: Jo, Jo, Jo! Don't shoot the prisoner. Don't.
Jo Lupo: How about I just wing him?
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Zane: (re the chicken) I'm not eating that.
Carter: Why not? It's chicken.
Zane: Do you know how chickens are raised?
Carter: Aw, don't, just let me enjoy my meal.
Zane: Jammed together in a windowless warehouse, wading in feces until (slices hand across throat) they get decapitated, or pecked to death. (cheerfully) When you eat that chicken, you're eating all that hate.
(cut to Carter shoving Zane back in his jail cell)
Zane: Aw, c'mon, I have to sleep in here?
Carter: At least you're not wading in your own feces. GD has an apartment for you, but you're a criminal, and you don't deserve it.
Zane: You may think I'm a criminal, but my mom loves me and she wouldn't appreciate you insulting her boy.
Carter: Why not? It's chicken.
Zane: Do you know how chickens are raised?
Carter: Aw, don't, just let me enjoy my meal.
Zane: Jammed together in a windowless warehouse, wading in feces until (slices hand across throat) they get decapitated, or pecked to death. (cheerfully) When you eat that chicken, you're eating all that hate.
(cut to Carter shoving Zane back in his jail cell)
Zane: Aw, c'mon, I have to sleep in here?
Carter: At least you're not wading in your own feces. GD has an apartment for you, but you're a criminal, and you don't deserve it.
Zane: You may think I'm a criminal, but my mom loves me and she wouldn't appreciate you insulting her boy.
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Jo: Okay, what do you mean, they're stupid?
Carter: I mean, stupid. Like, like (acts 'stupid') stupid.
Jo: Carter, you can't catch stupid.
Zane: This may be my favorite conversation of all time.
...
Carter: How you feeling? You feel dumb?
Jo: No. You?
Zane: How could you tell? (Carter and Jo both nonchalantly zap him) OW! Gah!
Carter: I mean, stupid. Like, like (acts 'stupid') stupid.
Jo: Carter, you can't catch stupid.
Zane: This may be my favorite conversation of all time.
...
Carter: How you feeling? You feel dumb?
Jo: No. You?
Zane: How could you tell? (Carter and Jo both nonchalantly zap him) OW! Gah!
TV Show: Eureka
(Finding Zane after he's escaped)
Carter: You vacationed here when you were ten. Figured it's off the main road, place to hide out for a couple days first.
Zane: Well, I guess my FBI file's more detailed than I thought.
Carter: Not in your file.
Zane: Well, then that computer of yours must have an amazing predictive algorithm.
Carter: Didn't use the computer. I called your mother.
Zane: (starts laughing, then abruptly stops when he realizes Carter is serious) You called my mother?
Carter: You vacationed here when you were ten. Figured it's off the main road, place to hide out for a couple days first.
Zane: Well, I guess my FBI file's more detailed than I thought.
Carter: Not in your file.
Zane: Well, then that computer of yours must have an amazing predictive algorithm.
Carter: Didn't use the computer. I called your mother.
Zane: (starts laughing, then abruptly stops when he realizes Carter is serious) You called my mother?
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Guy 1: Marco.
Guy 2: Marco.
Guy 1: Marco.
Guy 2: Marco.
Jack Carter: Polo! One of you says 'Polo'. It's Marco Polo! (he walks away)
Guy 1: Polo.
Guy 2: Polo.
Guy 1: Polo.
Guy 2: Polo.
Guy 2: Marco.
Guy 1: Marco.
Guy 2: Marco.
Jack Carter: Polo! One of you says 'Polo'. It's Marco Polo! (he walks away)
Guy 1: Polo.
Guy 2: Polo.
Guy 1: Polo.
Guy 2: Polo.
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Lucas: Clearly Jasper thinks you're hot, but not smart enough to be his partner. [Zoe looks offended] In my opinion he's an idiot. [pauses] No one usually asks my opinion.
Science teacher: Does everyone have a partner?
Zoe Carter: [Looks around frantically] Well, it looks like we're stuck together.
Lucas: Welcome to my world. It's quiet, but it has its advantages.
Zoe Carter: Like what?
Lucas: Kidding, no advantages.
Science teacher: Does everyone have a partner?
Zoe Carter: [Looks around frantically] Well, it looks like we're stuck together.
Lucas: Welcome to my world. It's quiet, but it has its advantages.
Zoe Carter: Like what?
Lucas: Kidding, no advantages.
TV Show: Eureka