Eureka Quotes
Dr. Wilding: The bugs lay eggs, hatch larvae and then seek out new hosts.
Henry Deacon: Us.
Eva Thorne: Well, how did the ancient Egyptians deal with that problem?
Zane Donovan: They killed the infected and burned the city to the ground.
Jack Carter: Let's call that Plan B.
Henry Deacon: Us.
Eva Thorne: Well, how did the ancient Egyptians deal with that problem?
Zane Donovan: They killed the infected and burned the city to the ground.
Jack Carter: Let's call that Plan B.
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Jack Carter: (being attacked by a swarm of parasitic insects) Why couldn't it have been butterflies?!
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Allison Blake: We don't have a 'Quantum Phasing Department,' Carter.
Jack Carter: Well he didn't buy his walk-through-walls machine at 'Walk-Through Walmart.' Someone in this building's working on something like that.
Jack Carter: Well he didn't buy his walk-through-walls machine at 'Walk-Through Walmart.' Someone in this building's working on something like that.
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Jack Carter: Well let me know what you find, I have to go catch a nine-fingered superhero.
Henry Deacon: [nodding] Sure.
Henry Deacon: [nodding] Sure.
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Lexi Carter: I don't know if I'm ready for this. Seriously, I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom.
Jack Carter: You'll be fine!
Lexi Carter: It gets easier?
Jack Carter: [shakes his head] Noooo....Not in the least, no. But you adapt. And look, you were right! She can take care of herself.
Jack Carter: You'll be fine!
Lexi Carter: It gets easier?
Jack Carter: [shakes his head] Noooo....Not in the least, no. But you adapt. And look, you were right! She can take care of herself.
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Zane Donovan: Dude, it's like two zillion degrees out there! (smiling) Okay, I'm game!
Jack Carter: Do anything normal for fun?
Zane Donovan: Yeah, I play a wicked game of Yahtzee
Jack Carter: Do anything normal for fun?
Zane Donovan: Yeah, I play a wicked game of Yahtzee
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Zane Donovan: (preparing to launch the rocket) Carter? Yeah, whatever happens... It's been fun.
Jack Carter: No, it hasn't. Push the button!
Jack Carter: No, it hasn't. Push the button!
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Zane: Having fun yet?
Carter: Oh, yeah. 'Cause driving headlong into a fiery death is everyone's idea of a good time.
Jo: (coming in) Sometimes I think it's his. Carter, could we have a minute?
Carter: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. (leaves)
Zane: Jo, you're supposed to be miles away at an evac camp by now. (Jo kisses him) Wow. I should risk my life more often.
Jo: I prefer you didn't.
Zane: C'mon, Josefina, don't go all serious on me now.
Jo: Too late. (she hugs him)
Carter: Oh, yeah. 'Cause driving headlong into a fiery death is everyone's idea of a good time.
Jo: (coming in) Sometimes I think it's his. Carter, could we have a minute?
Carter: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. (leaves)
Zane: Jo, you're supposed to be miles away at an evac camp by now. (Jo kisses him) Wow. I should risk my life more often.
Jo: I prefer you didn't.
Zane: C'mon, Josefina, don't go all serious on me now.
Jo: Too late. (she hugs him)
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Jack Carter: [referencing Jo and Zane stuck together with Instantanium] How do we get them out?
Dr. Hendricks: You get a saw.
Jack Carter: Great! So you can just cut through it?
Dr. Hendricks: No. You, uh, cut through the legs.
Jack Carter: Ah! [then it hits him] Yes.
Dr. Hendricks: You get a saw.
Jack Carter: Great! So you can just cut through it?
Dr. Hendricks: No. You, uh, cut through the legs.
Jack Carter: Ah! [then it hits him] Yes.
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S.A.R.A.H.: I have an array of exotic flavors for you to choose from. I chose them specifically based on the regions you've traveled.
Lexi Carter: The fact that a house can actually try to suck up to me is almost as disturbing as a house taking my niece hostage.
Lexi Carter: The fact that a house can actually try to suck up to me is almost as disturbing as a house taking my niece hostage.
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Allison Blake: How much longer Fargo?
Douglas Fargo: The bunker's computers are 70 years old...it's like teaching Lincoln how to use an iPhone!
Douglas Fargo: The bunker's computers are 70 years old...it's like teaching Lincoln how to use an iPhone!
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Zane Donovan: I thought maybe we could, you know, have a bite?
Jo Lupo: A bite? What, we wouldn't want to have you commit to a whole meal.
Jo Lupo: A bite? What, we wouldn't want to have you commit to a whole meal.
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Dr. Leonardo: So where are your uniforms?
Carter: Er it's an unofficial visit.
Dr. Leonardo: So is true that you guys got fired?
Jo: He got fired, I quit.
Dr. Leonardo: Bummer.
Carter: Er it's an unofficial visit.
Dr. Leonardo: So is true that you guys got fired?
Jo: He got fired, I quit.
Dr. Leonardo: Bummer.
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Allison: Hey, are you sure that Larry did this?
Jo: Well, he had motive, knowledge and, uh, opportunity. It's a trifecta.
Henry: But what exactly was his motive?
Jo: Well, isn't it obvious? To steal.
Henry: Yeah, but why?
Jo: Criminal mind's an enigma.
Jo: Well, he had motive, knowledge and, uh, opportunity. It's a trifecta.
Henry: But what exactly was his motive?
Jo: Well, isn't it obvious? To steal.
Henry: Yeah, but why?
Jo: Criminal mind's an enigma.
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Allison: For the next 48 hours, they will try to push you to your limit. Physically, psychologically and emotionally.
Fargo: Uh, but don't worry. We haven't had a death or psychotic break in, like, forever.
Carter: That's reassuring.
Fargo: Uh, but don't worry. We haven't had a death or psychotic break in, like, forever.
Carter: That's reassuring.
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(Jo sneaks up behind Zane, covers his eyes, and kisses him)
Zane: Careful. My girlfriend might see you. (Moves Jo's hands) Oh, uh, hey, Jo. Awkward.
Jo: I will show you awkward. (kisses him again)
(pan to Fargo, who is watching the exchange)
Zoe: You okay, Fargo?
Fargo: Yeah! Just, uh, thinking...
Zoe: About making out with Jo?
Zane: Careful. My girlfriend might see you. (Moves Jo's hands) Oh, uh, hey, Jo. Awkward.
Jo: I will show you awkward. (kisses him again)
(pan to Fargo, who is watching the exchange)
Zoe: You okay, Fargo?
Fargo: Yeah! Just, uh, thinking...
Zoe: About making out with Jo?
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Jo: Okay, has everyone gone nuts?
Zane: (entering sheriff's office) That's what I'd like to know.
Jo: (distracted) Hi.
Zane: 'Hi?' That's all you have to say?
Jo: Uh, what do you expect me to say?
Zane: 'Sorry for getting wasted and making out with Fargo'?
Larry: Oooh, you made out with Fargo?
Jo: No!
Zane: Aaah, kinda, yeah.
Zane: (entering sheriff's office) That's what I'd like to know.
Jo: (distracted) Hi.
Zane: 'Hi?' That's all you have to say?
Jo: Uh, what do you expect me to say?
Zane: 'Sorry for getting wasted and making out with Fargo'?
Larry: Oooh, you made out with Fargo?
Jo: No!
Zane: Aaah, kinda, yeah.
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Zane: Jo?
Fargo: Uh-oh.
Zane: Fargo!
Fargo: You wanna dance? Let's dance! But just so you know, in high school, I took a semester of shoto-con!
Zane: (sighs) Fargo. I don't want to fight you. I'm worried about Jo.
Fargo: Oh.
Zane: One second, she's acting normal, and then the next, she's making out with you.
Fargo: Yeah, well maybe she's finally come to her senses?
Zane: You just talked to her, didn't she seem different to you?
Fargo: Uh, well, she...kinda just asked me out.
Zane: And that didn't strike you as odd?
Fargo: Uh-oh.
Zane: Fargo!
Fargo: You wanna dance? Let's dance! But just so you know, in high school, I took a semester of shoto-con!
Zane: (sighs) Fargo. I don't want to fight you. I'm worried about Jo.
Fargo: Oh.
Zane: One second, she's acting normal, and then the next, she's making out with you.
Fargo: Yeah, well maybe she's finally come to her senses?
Zane: You just talked to her, didn't she seem different to you?
Fargo: Uh, well, she...kinda just asked me out.
Zane: And that didn't strike you as odd?
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(Julia has switched places with Jo, so Jo--in Julia's body--is locked up because no one believes she's actually Jo)
Jo: Zane! Thank god you're here.
Zane: Julia, right? Allison told me what you did to Jo.
Jo: No. She's Julia Golden. And I'm Jo.
Zane: Ah, psych ward. I'm Henry.
Jo: I can prove it. Ask me something personal that only Jo could know.
Zane: (slightly uncomfortable) Ah, pet peeves.
Jo: Small guns, big egos...and overly-critical boyfriends.
Zane: Um, boxers or briefs?
Jo: Me or you?
Zane: Funny. Me.
Jo: Boxers. Except on laundry day, which...by my count, would be tomorrow.
Zane: (still unconvinced) First date?
Jo: Sunday brunch at Cafe Diem. (Zane moves closer) I was nervous. You brought a rose, I wore a sundress. You said something smart that made me feel dumb...But you made up for it on our second date.
(Zane moves as if to leave, then types a code into the door and enters the cell)
Zane: So...Does that mean I sounded dumb, or I made you feel smart?
Jo: A little bit of both.
Zane: And how'd the date end?
Jo: Let me give you a reminder. (kisses him)
Zane: That's my Josefina.
Jo: (hits him) Now get me out of here before I taser you for kissing another woman.
Zane: Yep, definitely Jo.
Jo: Zane! Thank god you're here.
Zane: Julia, right? Allison told me what you did to Jo.
Jo: No. She's Julia Golden. And I'm Jo.
Zane: Ah, psych ward. I'm Henry.
Jo: I can prove it. Ask me something personal that only Jo could know.
Zane: (slightly uncomfortable) Ah, pet peeves.
Jo: Small guns, big egos...and overly-critical boyfriends.
Zane: Um, boxers or briefs?
Jo: Me or you?
Zane: Funny. Me.
Jo: Boxers. Except on laundry day, which...by my count, would be tomorrow.
Zane: (still unconvinced) First date?
Jo: Sunday brunch at Cafe Diem. (Zane moves closer) I was nervous. You brought a rose, I wore a sundress. You said something smart that made me feel dumb...But you made up for it on our second date.
(Zane moves as if to leave, then types a code into the door and enters the cell)
Zane: So...Does that mean I sounded dumb, or I made you feel smart?
Jo: A little bit of both.
Zane: And how'd the date end?
Jo: Let me give you a reminder. (kisses him)
Zane: That's my Josefina.
Jo: (hits him) Now get me out of here before I taser you for kissing another woman.
Zane: Yep, definitely Jo.
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(Jo has just been zapped back into her own skin)
Jo: Hey.
Zane: You had me worried there.
Jo: How do I look?
Zane: Perfect.
(Note: is in reference to a fight they had earlier in the episode, in which Zane stated no one was perfect)
Jo: Hey.
Zane: You had me worried there.
Jo: How do I look?
Zane: Perfect.
(Note: is in reference to a fight they had earlier in the episode, in which Zane stated no one was perfect)
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Tess: If we can feel each other, how can we be dead? And, and why aren't there any other dead people around here besides us? Huh?
Carter: How do you know there aren't?
Tess: Hey! Calling all dead people! Club meeting in the rotunda! See?
Carter: How do you know there aren't?
Tess: Hey! Calling all dead people! Club meeting in the rotunda! See?
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Carter: (about the blob) I should be able to handle a mindless eating machine.
Allison: (glaring) You looked at me again.
Carter: Oh, no. The- No, no, I was the... you're pretty.
Tess: Ooh, nice save.
Allison: (glaring) You looked at me again.
Carter: Oh, no. The- No, no, I was the... you're pretty.
Tess: Ooh, nice save.
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(The car drives itself into Carter's parking space at the sheriff station.)
Zoe: See? We're here, and I didn't even have to do anything.
Carter: Yeah, another victory for total laziness.
Zoe: Isn't it awesome? I can sleep all the way to school.
Carter: Yeah, that's what the world needs, is more people asleep at the wheel.
Zoe: See? We're here, and I didn't even have to do anything.
Carter: Yeah, another victory for total laziness.
Zoe: Isn't it awesome? I can sleep all the way to school.
Carter: Yeah, that's what the world needs, is more people asleep at the wheel.
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Jo: (about her new car) Totally high-performance, but completely under my control.
Carter: Kinda like Zane.
Carter: Kinda like Zane.
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Carter: What's Ranger Tom calling six times about? Somebody steal a tree?
Jo: I wrote it down.
Carter: (holds up note) 'Something weird.'
Jo: I wrote it down.
Carter: (holds up note) 'Something weird.'
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Tess: (eating pizza) Stakeouts are fun.
Carter: They're, they're more fun with, um, pepperoni, than with, uh, organic tofu medley.
Tess: You mean, thank you for the pizza?
Carter: That is a thank you for the pizza.
Tess: Yeah, you're welcome. Mm, you want anything else? I've got a protein bar, juice box... (gasps) Funyons!
Carter: (laughing) You always eat this much?
Tess: You always this smooth with the ladies?
Carter: ...Yeah.
Carter: They're, they're more fun with, um, pepperoni, than with, uh, organic tofu medley.
Tess: You mean, thank you for the pizza?
Carter: That is a thank you for the pizza.
Tess: Yeah, you're welcome. Mm, you want anything else? I've got a protein bar, juice box... (gasps) Funyons!
Carter: (laughing) You always eat this much?
Tess: You always this smooth with the ladies?
Carter: ...Yeah.
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(Tabitha, with Fargo and Larry hostage in the trunk, has come to a stop)
Fargo: I think this is it.
Larry: Oh, god. Hold me! (hugs Fargo, sobbing)
(Jo opens the trunk to see Larry and Fargo hugging and crying)
Jo: Um, hello, boys.
Larry: He hugged me!
Fargo: You wish!
. . .
Larry: Listen, about that hug--
Fargo: What happens in the trunk, stays in the trunk.
Fargo: I think this is it.
Larry: Oh, god. Hold me! (hugs Fargo, sobbing)
(Jo opens the trunk to see Larry and Fargo hugging and crying)
Jo: Um, hello, boys.
Larry: He hugged me!
Fargo: You wish!
. . .
Larry: Listen, about that hug--
Fargo: What happens in the trunk, stays in the trunk.
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Jo: If Lieber says that that booster converter isn't his, I say we let Fargo and him settle it in a cage match.
Carter: I put five bucks on Fargo.
Jo: Nice.
Carter: He's scrappy.
Carter: I put five bucks on Fargo.
Jo: Nice.
Carter: He's scrappy.
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