Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
Narrator: The classes that I thought would be exciting would be boring, and the boring classes were even worse.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Greg: Dude, the movie The Invisible Man has absolutely nothing to do with the book Invisible Man. I don't know what you wrote, but whatever it is, you better not let Ms. Rivera read it.
Narrator: Too bad I didn't write that paper in invisible ink!
Narrator: Too bad I didn't write that paper in invisible ink!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: While I was tryin' not to fail English, my parents were tryin' not to fail inspection.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Julius: Rochelle, it just burns me up to think that we're up here workin' while Mr. Omar's downstairs in our house, chillin'. Oh, he's not that bad.
Rochelle: "Not bad?" Julius, in one night he managed to drink all the Kool-Aid, file his toenails on my table, and keep me up half the night playin' records.
Julius: Maybe he is a little nuisance.
Rochelle: Yeah, like cancer.
Rochelle: "Not bad?" Julius, in one night he managed to drink all the Kool-Aid, file his toenails on my table, and keep me up half the night playin' records.
Julius: Maybe he is a little nuisance.
Rochelle: Yeah, like cancer.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Drew: Is that all you watch? The Munsters?
Narrator: Yeah, he watches The Addams Family, too.
Narrator: Yeah, he watches The Addams Family, too.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Ms. Rivera: Let's do it.
Narrator: Years later, those very same words sent Mary Kay Letourneau to jail.
Narrator: Years later, those very same words sent Mary Kay Letourneau to jail.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Drew went on to make a fortune sellin' sub-prime mortgages.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: Well, once again, I learned a lesson. I learned that movies can teach you almost as much as books can, but in the process, I lost the best teacher I ever had.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Monk: So, what made you think of this, anyway, Chris?
Chris: Well, I remembered that Jaws was a book before a movie, so I figured they made a movie out of The Invisible Man.
Kill Moves: I wish they'd start makin' movies into books. Popcorn gettin' expensive.
Chris: Well, I remembered that Jaws was a book before a movie, so I figured they made a movie out of The Invisible Man.
Kill Moves: I wish they'd start makin' movies into books. Popcorn gettin' expensive.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Topless Teacher: Does anyone know what these are?
Narrator: Reason her husband cries?
Narrator: Reason her husband cries?
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Walter Dickerson: I don't know why we need to learn about history, anyway. What difference does it make who won World War III? It's over. The Japanese won, and now we have Walkmans.
Narrator: Thank God Italy won World War IV and we got pizza.
Narrator: Thank God Italy won World War IV and we got pizza.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: When Dickerson said, "My man," it was like bein' vice president.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Julius: Anything can happen at any time. A toilet could fall outta the sky and crush you. A bus door could clamp on your neck and choke you. A poisonous lizard could escape from the zoo and bite you. You could fall off a bridge and drown, and you could trip and fall in front of a power mower and be decapitated. You could be smokin' a cigarette and blow up while siphonin' 65 cents' worth of gas, and you could eat some bad coleslaw and get diarrhea and die of dehydration. You could step in a puddle and be electrocuted by a downed wire. You could blow your nose and startle a cat with rabies...
Rochelle: OK, OK, we get it! We can die at any time, and you're happy!
Rochelle: OK, OK, we get it! We can die at any time, and you're happy!
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: At school, things were gettin' ugly, but to my father, life was beautiful.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Mr. Thurman: Do I have black sunglasses and a piano?
Narrator: Actually, he did.
Narrator: Actually, he did.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Mr. Omar: Don't you already have two jobs? You want another one?
Narrator: That's like asking Amy Winehouse if she wants another drink.
Narrator: That's like asking Amy Winehouse if she wants another drink.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Priest: Are you Christopher?
Chris: Yeah.
Priest: Dickerson said you can get the Devil out of this little girl. [we see a possessed girl next to him]
Chris: Yeah.
Priest: Dickerson said you can get the Devil out of this little girl. [we see a possessed girl next to him]
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: While I had it hard, my father became a soft touch.
Risky: Hey, I need $10 for gas.
Julius: Regular or premium?
Risky: Premium!
Julius: [giving Risky some money] Here you go.
Risky: My man! [walks off]
Vanessa: I need to get my hairdryer fixed.
Julius: Just buy yourself a new one. [gives Vanessa some money]
Vanessa: Ooh! [walks off]
Monk: I need some ammo for my bazooka.
Julius: Anti-tank or anti-personnel?
Monk: Anti-tank, of course.
Julius: [giving Monk some money] Here you go.
Monk: Thank you. [walks off]
Jerome: Can you lemme hold some bail money?
Julius: And get yourself a lawyer, too. [gives Jerome some money]
Policeman: C'mon, boy. [drags Jerome away]
Jerome: I didn't do nothin'.
Risky: Hey, I need $10 for gas.
Julius: Regular or premium?
Risky: Premium!
Julius: [giving Risky some money] Here you go.
Risky: My man! [walks off]
Vanessa: I need to get my hairdryer fixed.
Julius: Just buy yourself a new one. [gives Vanessa some money]
Vanessa: Ooh! [walks off]
Monk: I need some ammo for my bazooka.
Julius: Anti-tank or anti-personnel?
Monk: Anti-tank, of course.
Julius: [giving Monk some money] Here you go.
Monk: Thank you. [walks off]
Jerome: Can you lemme hold some bail money?
Julius: And get yourself a lawyer, too. [gives Jerome some money]
Policeman: C'mon, boy. [drags Jerome away]
Jerome: I didn't do nothin'.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Stacy: Doc's told me so much about you.
Narrator: He didn't tell me a thing about you.
Narrator: He didn't tell me a thing about you.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: When Stacy said I had to work for her, she meant it. I had to go for groceries, get her dry cleaning, and mine her coal.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: I was happy Doc had a girlfriend. Too bad I have to kill her.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: While I wanted less attention from my boss, Tonya wanted more attention from boys.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Chris: If I don't have a woman by the time I'm 60...
Narrator: I'll kill myself.
Narrator: I'll kill myself.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: I was like Cupid's retarded little brother. Damn, I'm good.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Stacy: It is the same thing over and over again, and Stacy is tired of it! Stacy is not a fool! When Stacy smells smoke, Stacy doesn't stand around and wait for the fire! Stacy is leaving!
Narrator: Referrin' to yourself in the third person. It ain't just for athletes no more.
Narrator: Referrin' to yourself in the third person. It ain't just for athletes no more.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Doc: Get that bottle of whisky for me.
Narrator: At least he didn't ask me for a box of tissues.
Narrator: At least he didn't ask me for a box of tissues.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris
Narrator: While Doc was feedin' the bums, losin' Stacy was eatin' him up.
TV Show: Everybody Hates Chris