Fight Club Quotes
Tyler Durden : Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : First person that comes out this fucking door gets a... gets a *lead salad*, you understand?
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : [ V.O ] This is Bob. Bob had bitch tits. [ Camera pans to a REMAINING MEN TOGETHER sign ]
Narrator : [ V.O ] This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me... that was Bob.
Robert 'Bob' Paulson : We're still men.
Narrator : [ slightly muffled due to Bob's enormous breasts ] Yes, we're men. Men is what we are.
Narrator : [ V.O ] Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit...
Robert 'Bob' Paulson : They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid.
Narrator : [ V.O ] Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.
Narrator : [ V.O ] This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big moosie slobbering all over me... that was Bob.
Robert 'Bob' Paulson : We're still men.
Narrator : [ slightly muffled due to Bob's enormous breasts ] Yes, we're men. Men is what we are.
Narrator : [ V.O ] Eight months ago, Bob's testicles were removed. Then hormone therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen. And that was where I fit...
Robert 'Bob' Paulson : They're gonna have to open my pecs again to drain the fluid.
Narrator : [ V.O ] Between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Oh, it's late. Hey, thanks for the beer.
Tyler Durden : Yeah, man.
Narrator : I should find a hotel.
Tyler Durden : [ in disbelief ] What?
Narrator : What?
Tyler Durden : A hotel?
Narrator : Yeah.
Tyler Durden : Just ask, man.
Narrator : What are you talking about?
Tyler Durden : [ laughs ] Three pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask.
Narrator : What?
Tyler Durden : You call me because you need a place to stay.
Narrator : Oh, hey, no, no, no, I didn't mean...
Tyler Durden : Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask.
Narrator : Would - would that be a problem?
Tyler Durden : Is it a problem for you to ask?
Narrator : Can I stay at your place?
Tyler Durden : Yeah.
Tyler Durden : Yeah, man.
Narrator : I should find a hotel.
Tyler Durden : [ in disbelief ] What?
Narrator : What?
Tyler Durden : A hotel?
Narrator : Yeah.
Tyler Durden : Just ask, man.
Narrator : What are you talking about?
Tyler Durden : [ laughs ] Three pitchers of beer, and you still can't ask.
Narrator : What?
Tyler Durden : You call me because you need a place to stay.
Narrator : Oh, hey, no, no, no, I didn't mean...
Tyler Durden : Yes, you did. So just ask. Cut the foreplay and just ask.
Narrator : Would - would that be a problem?
Tyler Durden : Is it a problem for you to ask?
Narrator : Can I stay at your place?
Tyler Durden : Yeah.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : Where'd you go, psycho boy?
Narrator : I felt like destroying something beautiful.
Narrator : I felt like destroying something beautiful.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake.
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Tyler Durden : Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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Tyler Durden : Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells "stop!", goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : [ about the soap ] Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.
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Narrator : When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
Marla Singer : - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?
Marla Singer : - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?
Movie: Fight Club
[ after meeting and having sex with Marla ]
Tyler Durden : Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though...
Tyler Durden : Man, you've got some fucked up friends, I'm tellin' ya. Limber, though...
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden : C'mon, do me this one favor.
Narrator : Why?
Tyler Durden : Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?
Narrator : No, but that's a good thing.
Tyler Durden : No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.
Narrator : This is crazy.
Tyler Durden : So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Narrator : I don't know about this.
Tyler Durden : I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
Narrator : Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden : That's right.
Narrator : What, like in the face?
Tyler Durden : Surprise me.
Narrator : This is so fucking stupid... [ Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head ]
Tyler Durden : Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!
Narrator : Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.
Tyler Durden : Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?
Narrator : Guess I fucked it up...
Tyler Durden : No, that was perfect!
Tyler Durden : C'mon, do me this one favor.
Narrator : Why?
Tyler Durden : Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?
Narrator : No, but that's a good thing.
Tyler Durden : No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.
Narrator : This is crazy.
Tyler Durden : So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Narrator : I don't know about this.
Tyler Durden : I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
Narrator : Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden : That's right.
Narrator : What, like in the face?
Tyler Durden : Surprise me.
Narrator : This is so fucking stupid... [ Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head ]
Tyler Durden : Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!
Narrator : Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.
Tyler Durden : Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?
Narrator : Guess I fucked it up...
Tyler Durden : No, that was perfect!
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Narrator : [ to Tyler, while looking at a Calvin Klein-esque ad on the bus ] Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?
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Narrator : [ being embraced by Bob at the group therapy session for Testicular Cancer ] Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.
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[ Tyler and Jack stand in the bathroom doorway, watching Steph finish shaving off all of his hair. Tyler comes to give the top of Steph's head a sharp slap ]
Tyler Durden : Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good.
Tyler Durden : From now on, all those with shaved heads: "Space Monkeys".
Tyler Durden : Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good.
Tyler Durden : From now on, all those with shaved heads: "Space Monkeys".
Movie: Fight Club
[ Tyler and Narrator are discussing ideal opponents ]
Tyler Durden : OK: any historic figure.
Narrator : I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden : Good answer.
Narrator : How about you?
Tyler Durden : Lincoln.
Narrator : Lincoln?
Tyler Durden : Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.
Tyler Durden : OK: any historic figure.
Narrator : I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden : Good answer.
Narrator : How about you?
Tyler Durden : Lincoln.
Narrator : Lincoln?
Tyler Durden : Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane : Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator : You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane : Which car company do you work for?
Narrator : A major one.
Business woman on plane : Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator : You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane : Which car company do you work for?
Narrator : A major one.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?
Narrator : No, I did not know that; is that true?
Tyler Durden : That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items.
Narrator : Really...?
Tyler Durden : If one were so inclined.
Narrator : Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving...
Tyler Durden : Oh I get it, it's very clever.
Narrator : Thank you.
Tyler Durden : How's that working out for you?
Narrator : What?
Tyler Durden : Being clever.
Narrator : Great.
Tyler Durden : Keep it up then... Right up. [ Gets up from airplane seat ]
Tyler Durden : Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?
Narrator : No, I did not know that; is that true?
Tyler Durden : That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items.
Narrator : Really...?
Tyler Durden : If one were so inclined.
Narrator : Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving...
Tyler Durden : Oh I get it, it's very clever.
Narrator : Thank you.
Tyler Durden : How's that working out for you?
Narrator : What?
Tyler Durden : Being clever.
Narrator : Great.
Tyler Durden : Keep it up then... Right up. [ Gets up from airplane seat ]
Tyler Durden : Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?
Movie: Fight Club
[ while burning the Narrator's hand with lye ]
Tyler Durden : Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
Narrator : No, no, I... don't...
Tyler Durden : Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
Narrator : It isn't?
Tyler Durden : We don't need him!
Tyler Durden : Shut up! Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?
Narrator : No, no, I... don't...
Tyler Durden : Listen to me! You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.
Narrator : It isn't?
Tyler Durden : We don't need him!
Movie: Fight Club
First Man at Auto Shop : Here's where the infant's head went through the wind-shield. Three points.
Man #2 at Auto Shop : The teenager's braces are still wrapped around the backseat ashtray. Might make a good anti-smoking ad.
First Man at Auto Shop : The driver must have been huge, see where the fat burned to the seat? The polyester shirt? Very modern art. [ they laugh ]
Man #2 at Auto Shop : The teenager's braces are still wrapped around the backseat ashtray. Might make a good anti-smoking ad.
First Man at Auto Shop : The driver must have been huge, see where the fat burned to the seat? The polyester shirt? Very modern art. [ they laugh ]
Movie: Fight Club