Fight Club Quotes
Narrator : Was it ticking?
Airport Security Officer : Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator : Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer : Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator : My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer : Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [ whispering ]
Airport Security Officer : it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Narrator : I don't own... [ Officer waves Narrator off ]
Airport Security Officer : Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.
Narrator : Sorry, throwers?
Airport Security Officer : Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.
Narrator : My suitcase was vibrating?
Airport Security Officer : Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... [ whispering ]
Airport Security Officer : it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Narrator : I don't own... [ Officer waves Narrator off ]
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Fight Club wasn't about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal Church.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : I got in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. Yes, I'm comfortable with that. I am enlightened.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans.
Narrator : Wait. What is this place?
Tyler Durden : A liposuction clinic.
Narrator : Wait. What is this place?
Tyler Durden : A liposuction clinic.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room. My parents pulled this exact same act for years.
Movie: Fight Club
Marla Singer : ...Condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night... then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger.
Narrator : What?
Narrator : What?
Movie: Fight Club
Marla Singer : I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar.
Narrator : It was worth every penny.
Marla Singer : It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road. [ Grabs Narrator's crotch ]
Marla Singer : Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape.
Narrator : Well, then it suits you.
Marla Singer : You can borrow it sometime.
Narrator : It was worth every penny.
Marla Singer : It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree. So special. Then, bam, it's on the side of the road. [ Grabs Narrator's crotch ]
Marla Singer : Tinsel still clinging to it. Like a sex crime victim. Underwear inside out. Bound with electrical tape.
Narrator : Well, then it suits you.
Marla Singer : You can borrow it sometime.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.
Narrator : Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden : Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.
Narrator : Martha Stewart.
Tyler Durden : Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Marla... the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : You had to give it to him: he had a plan. And it started to make sense, in a Tyler sort of way. No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : [ his face is soaked in blood; he is shaking it over Lou and screaming ] You don't know where I've been. You don't know where I've been. Just let us have the basement, Lou!
Movie: Fight Club
[ while the narrator is on the phone with the police ]
Tyler Durden : Tell him. Tell him, The liberator who destroyed my property has realigned my perceptions.
Tyler Durden : Tell him. Tell him, The liberator who destroyed my property has realigned my perceptions.
Movie: Fight Club
Richard Chesler : [ Reading a piece of paper ] The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club?
Narrator : [ Voice-over ] I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine.
Richard Chesler : The second rule of Fight Club - is this yours?
Narrator : Huh?
Richard Chesler : Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?
Narrator : [ pauses ] Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. [ Gets up from the chair ]
Narrator : [ Talking slowly ] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.
Narrator : [ Voice-over ] Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. [ Snatches the piece of paper from boss' hands ]
Narrator : [ Voice-over ] And I used to be such a nice guy.
Narrator : Or maybe you shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up. [ Phone rings ]
Narrator : [ Into phone ] Compliance and Liability...?
Marla Singer : My tit's gonna rot off.
Narrator : [ to boss ] Would you excuse me? I need to take this.
Narrator : [ Voice-over ] I'm half asleep again; I must've left the original in the copy machine.
Richard Chesler : The second rule of Fight Club - is this yours?
Narrator : Huh?
Richard Chesler : Pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?
Narrator : [ pauses ] Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous. [ Gets up from the chair ]
Narrator : [ Talking slowly ] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.
Narrator : [ Voice-over ] Tyler's words coming out of my mouth. [ Snatches the piece of paper from boss' hands ]
Narrator : [ Voice-over ] And I used to be such a nice guy.
Narrator : Or maybe you shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up. [ Phone rings ]
Narrator : [ Into phone ] Compliance and Liability...?
Marla Singer : My tit's gonna rot off.
Narrator : [ to boss ] Would you excuse me? I need to take this.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : What are we doing tonight?
Tyler Durden : Tonight? We make soap.
Narrator : Really.
Tyler Durden : To make soap, first we render fat.
Tyler Durden : Tonight? We make soap.
Narrator : Really.
Tyler Durden : To make soap, first we render fat.
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Hello?
Tyler Durden : [ Eating breakfast cereal ] Who is this?
Narrator : Tyler?
Tyler Durden : Who is this?
Narrator : Uh... we met... we met on the airplane. We had the same suitcase. Uh... the clever guy?
Tyler Durden : Oh yeah, right. [ Snickers ]
Tyler Durden : Ok?
Narrator : I called a second ago, th - there was no answer, I'm at the payphone...
Tyler Durden : - yeah, I *69ed you, I never pick up my phone. [ Crunch, crunch ]
Tyler Durden : So what's up, huh?
Narrator : Uh, well... You're not gonna believe this...
Tyler Durden : [ Eating breakfast cereal ] Who is this?
Narrator : Tyler?
Tyler Durden : Who is this?
Narrator : Uh... we met... we met on the airplane. We had the same suitcase. Uh... the clever guy?
Tyler Durden : Oh yeah, right. [ Snickers ]
Tyler Durden : Ok?
Narrator : I called a second ago, th - there was no answer, I'm at the payphone...
Tyler Durden : - yeah, I *69ed you, I never pick up my phone. [ Crunch, crunch ]
Tyler Durden : So what's up, huh?
Narrator : Uh, well... You're not gonna believe this...
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : I know it seems like I have more than one side sometimes...
Marla Singer : More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass!
Marla Singer : More than one side? You're Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass!
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : I flipped through catalogs and wondered: What kind of dining set defines me as a person?
Movie: Fight Club
Narrator : Marla's philosophy of life is that she might die at any moment. The tragedy, she said, was that she didn't.
Movie: Fight Club
Marla Singer : [ after taking a bottle of sleeping pills ] This isn't a real suicide-thing. This is probably one of those cry-for-help things.
Movie: Fight Club
Tyler Durden : Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!
Movie: Fight Club
[ to the Narrator who has just fired a warning shot into the window of an explosives filled van ]
Tyler Durden : WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE!
Tyler Durden : WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE!
Movie: Fight Club