Firefly Quotes
Wash: I think they captured him, though. Captured his essence.
Kaylee: He looks sorta angry, don't he?
Wash: That's kinda what I meant.
Kaylee: He looks sorta angry, don't he?
Wash: That's kinda what I meant.
TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: Hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?
Mal: I don't know. This here's a spectacle that might warrant a moment's consideration.
Kaylee: [shifting back and forth] Wherever I move to, his eyes keep... followin' me.
Mal: I don't know. This here's a spectacle that might warrant a moment's consideration.
Kaylee: [shifting back and forth] Wherever I move to, his eyes keep... followin' me.
TV Show: Firefly
Inara: Magistrate Higgins, I may presume.
Higgins: You may. But I only make the people I own use my title. Mister Higgins will do fine.
Higgins: You may. But I only make the people I own use my title. Mister Higgins will do fine.
TV Show: Firefly
[Shepherd Book prepares a meal as he absentmindedly addresses River.]
Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?
River: Fixing your Bible.
Book: I, um... What?
[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]
River: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics... doesn't make sense.
Book: No, no. You—you can't...
River: So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.
Book: Really?
River: We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.
. . .
Book: River, you don't... fix the Bible.
River: It's broken. It doesn't make sense.
Book: It's not about... making sense. It's about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.
Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?
River: Fixing your Bible.
Book: I, um... What?
[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]
River: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics... doesn't make sense.
Book: No, no. You—you can't...
River: So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.
Book: Really?
River: We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.
. . .
Book: River, you don't... fix the Bible.
River: It's broken. It doesn't make sense.
Book: It's not about... making sense. It's about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It's about faith. You don't fix faith, River. It fixes you.
TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: Can't be a statue of me, no reason for it. Flies in the face of every kinda sense.
Wash: Won't argue with that. [Drinks, then spits it out]Je shr shuh muh lan dong shi?!
Jayne: Mm. They call it "Mudder's milk". All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol.
Wash: Won't argue with that. [Drinks, then spits it out]Je shr shuh muh lan dong shi?!
Jayne: Mm. They call it "Mudder's milk". All the protein, vitamins and carbs of your grandma's best turkey dinner, plus fifteen percent alcohol.
TV Show: Firefly
Mudder: [singing] He robbed from the rich and he gave to the poor / Stood up to the man and he gave him what-for / Our love for him now ain't hard to explain / The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne!
TV Show: Firefly
[Sitting in a bar, listening to "The Ballad of Jayne Cobb" being sung]
Mal: Uh, Jayne?
Jayne: Yeah, Mal?
Mal: You got any light you'd like to shed on this particular development?
Jayne: No, Mal.
. . .
Simon: No. This must be what going mad feels like.
. . .
Wash: We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!
Mal: Uh, Jayne?
Jayne: Yeah, Mal?
Mal: You got any light you'd like to shed on this particular development?
Jayne: No, Mal.
. . .
Simon: No. This must be what going mad feels like.
. . .
Wash: We gotta go to the crappy town where I'm a hero!
TV Show: Firefly
[Simon and Kaylee, both drunk, chat during the town's toasting of its hero, Jayne.]
Simon: I— I reattached a girl's leg. Her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, he gets a town.
Kaylee: Hamsters is nice.
Simon: To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.
Simon: I— I reattached a girl's leg. Her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, he gets a town.
Kaylee: Hamsters is nice.
Simon: To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.
TV Show: Firefly
[A drunken Jayne stumbles down the stairs, entwined with a local girl.]
Jayne: [singing] "The hero of Canton, the man they call 'me'." [speaking] Eggs! The living legend needs eggs!
Jayne: [singing] "The hero of Canton, the man they call 'me'." [speaking] Eggs! The living legend needs eggs!
TV Show: Firefly
[River is hiding from Book, freaked out by his enormous unbundled mane of white hair.]
River: They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
Book: River? Please, why don't you come on out?
River: No! Can't. Too much hair.
Book: Is— is that it?
Zoe: Hell, yes, preacher. If I didn't have stuff to get done, I'd be in there with her.
. . .
Zoe: River, honey, he's putting the hair away now.
[Book starts to tie his hair back.]
River: Doesn't matter. It'll still be there. Waiting.
River: They say the snow on the roof is too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
Book: River? Please, why don't you come on out?
River: No! Can't. Too much hair.
Book: Is— is that it?
Zoe: Hell, yes, preacher. If I didn't have stuff to get done, I'd be in there with her.
. . .
Zoe: River, honey, he's putting the hair away now.
[Book starts to tie his hair back.]
River: Doesn't matter. It'll still be there. Waiting.
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne learns what extent the mudders went to show their devotion to Jayne]
Jayne: [overcome by emotion] You guys had a riot... on account of me? My very own riot?
Jayne: [overcome by emotion] You guys had a riot... on account of me? My very own riot?
TV Show: Firefly
Mal: So, that's where the little "Jayne Day Celebration" we got planned comes in. Should give us enough time to get the goods back onto Serenity.
Jayne: I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
Mal: You better laugh when you say that.
Jayne: No, really, Mal, I mean, maybe there's something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know, me, Jayne Cobb.
Mal: I know your name, jackass!
Jayne: I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?
Mal: You better laugh when you say that.
Jayne: No, really, Mal, I mean, maybe there's something to this. The Mudders? I think I really made a difference in their lives. You know, me, Jayne Cobb.
Mal: I know your name, jackass!
TV Show: Firefly
[Inara's client, Fess Higgins, tells her about an upcoming hearing for a criminal.]
Fess: He stole a ton of money from my dad and gave it to the poor, to my father's workers. He's become kind of a folk hero in Canton.
Inara: Go on.
Fess: Well, he's back. Apparently, he landed here yesterday.
Inara: Yesterday? [to herself] Oh, no. [to Fess] I-I know this man. He's... He just has this idiotic sense of nobility, you know? He can never just let things go. He thinks he's this hard-hearted criminal, and he can be unrelenting, but... there's a side to him that's just so...
Fess: You mean you actually know... Jayne?
[Long pause.]
Inara: Jayne? Jayne Cobb? You're talking about Jayne Cobb?
Fess: He stole a ton of money from my dad and gave it to the poor, to my father's workers. He's become kind of a folk hero in Canton.
Inara: Go on.
Fess: Well, he's back. Apparently, he landed here yesterday.
Inara: Yesterday? [to herself] Oh, no. [to Fess] I-I know this man. He's... He just has this idiotic sense of nobility, you know? He can never just let things go. He thinks he's this hard-hearted criminal, and he can be unrelenting, but... there's a side to him that's just so...
Fess: You mean you actually know... Jayne?
[Long pause.]
Inara: Jayne? Jayne Cobb? You're talking about Jayne Cobb?
TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: [Addressing the collected Mudders] Far as I see it, you people been given the shortest end of the stick ever been offered a human soul in this crap-heel 'Verse. But you took that end, and you... [pause] Well, you took it. And that's... Well, I guess that's somethin'.
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne's ravaged former partner, Stitch Hessian, confronts him at the celebration.]
Stitch: For six months, we run together. He turned me out 'fore I could scream!
Jayne: You'd-a done the same.
Stitch: No. Never. You protect the man you're with. You watch his back! Everybody knows that! Well, except the "hero of Canton".
Stitch: For six months, we run together. He turned me out 'fore I could scream!
Jayne: You'd-a done the same.
Stitch: No. Never. You protect the man you're with. You watch his back! Everybody knows that! Well, except the "hero of Canton".
TV Show: Firefly
[Jayne is horrified after a young Mudder's sacrifice to save him.]
Jayne: All of you! You think there's someone just gonna drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain't people like that. There's just people like me.
Jayne: All of you! You think there's someone just gonna drop money on ya?! Money they could use?! Well, there ain't people like that. There's just people like me.
TV Show: Firefly
[A tidied-up Book stops by to talk to River, who is still "fixing" the Bible.]
River: Just keep walkin', preacher-man.
River: Just keep walkin', preacher-man.
TV Show: Firefly
[Simon tries to explain himself to Kaylee.]
Simon: I mean, my way of being... polite, or however it's... Well, it's the only way I have of... showing you... that I like you... of showing respect.
Kaylee: So, when... we made love last night—
Simon: When we what?!
[Kaylee grins.]
Kaylee: You really are such an easy mark.
Simon: I mean, my way of being... polite, or however it's... Well, it's the only way I have of... showing you... that I like you... of showing respect.
Kaylee: So, when... we made love last night—
Simon: When we what?!
[Kaylee grins.]
Kaylee: You really are such an easy mark.
TV Show: Firefly
Jayne: Hell, there weren't a-one of them understood what happened out there; they're... probably stickin' that statue right back up.
Mal: Most like.
Jayne: I don't know why that eats at me so.
Mal: It's my estimation that... every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need.
Mal: Most like.
Jayne: I don't know why that eats at me so.
Mal: It's my estimation that... every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. Ain't about you, Jayne. It's about what they need.
TV Show: Firefly
[Flashback to Mal trying to sell Zoe on the worthiness of his new ship.]
Zoe: You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?
. . .
Mal: Ship like this, be with you till the day you die.
Zoe: Because it's a death trap.
. . .
Mal: Try to see past what she is, and on to what she can be.
Zoe: What's that, sir?
Mal: Freedom, is what.
Zoe: [pointing] I meant, what's that?
Mal: Oh. Yeah, just step around that. I think somethin' must've been livin' in here.
Zoe: You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?
. . .
Mal: Ship like this, be with you till the day you die.
Zoe: Because it's a death trap.
. . .
Mal: Try to see past what she is, and on to what she can be.
Zoe: What's that, sir?
Mal: Freedom, is what.
Zoe: [pointing] I meant, what's that?
Mal: Oh. Yeah, just step around that. I think somethin' must've been livin' in here.
TV Show: Firefly
Mal: Tell you, Zoe, we get a mechanic, get her up and runnin' again, hire a good pilot, maybe a cook. Live like real people. Small crew, them as feel the need to be free, take jobs as they come. Ain't never have to be under the heel of nobody ever again. No matter how long the arm of the Alliance might get, we'll just get ourselves a little further.
Zoe: Get her running again?
Mal: Yeah.
Zoe: So not running now?
Mal: Not so much.
Zoe: Get her running again?
Mal: Yeah.
Zoe: So not running now?
Mal: Not so much.
TV Show: Firefly
[In near-present day, Wash comes in late to hear Book's dinner-table tales.]
Wash: Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.
. . .
[Simon is unable to quickly convey a funny story about being a doctor]
Jayne: [interrupting] Now, Inara - she's gotta have some funny whorin' stories, I'd wager.
Inara: [laughing] Do I ever! Funny and sexy. [laughs] You have no idea... [suddenly serious] and you never will.
. . .
[The crew surprises Simon with a birthday cake.]
Simon: How did… how'd you know? River, did you...?
River: "Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable. [pauses] I didn't get you anything.
. . .
Kaylee: Hope you like it. Couldn't get ahold of no flour, so it's mostly protein. In fact, it's pretty much what we just had for dinner. [everyone laughs] But I tried to make the frosting as chocolate-y tasting as possible, so.
Simon: Thank you. I'm really, I'm, um, very, very deeply moved. Thank you.
Jayne: Well... deeply move yourself to blow out them candles so we can try a slice.
Wash: Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun.
. . .
[Simon is unable to quickly convey a funny story about being a doctor]
Jayne: [interrupting] Now, Inara - she's gotta have some funny whorin' stories, I'd wager.
Inara: [laughing] Do I ever! Funny and sexy. [laughs] You have no idea... [suddenly serious] and you never will.
. . .
[The crew surprises Simon with a birthday cake.]
Simon: How did… how'd you know? River, did you...?
River: "Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable. [pauses] I didn't get you anything.
. . .
Kaylee: Hope you like it. Couldn't get ahold of no flour, so it's mostly protein. In fact, it's pretty much what we just had for dinner. [everyone laughs] But I tried to make the frosting as chocolate-y tasting as possible, so.
Simon: Thank you. I'm really, I'm, um, very, very deeply moved. Thank you.
Jayne: Well... deeply move yourself to blow out them candles so we can try a slice.
TV Show: Firefly
Simon: Suffocation's not exactly the most dignified way to go. The human body will involuntarily-
Inara: Please, I don't really require a clinical description right now.
Simon: I'm sorry. I just, uh... It was my birthday.
Inara: Please, I don't really require a clinical description right now.
Simon: I'm sorry. I just, uh... It was my birthday.
TV Show: Firefly
[River peeks in on Book, who is reading his Bible.]
River: You're afraid we're going to run out of air, that we'll die gasping. But we won't. That's not going to happen.
[Book looks up at her, hopefully.]
River: We'll freeze to death first.
River: You're afraid we're going to run out of air, that we'll die gasping. But we won't. That's not going to happen.
[Book looks up at her, hopefully.]
River: We'll freeze to death first.
TV Show: Firefly
Mal: I'm gettin' a little weary of this attitude, Wash.
Wash: [chuckling] Are you? Well, I'm so very sorry, sir. I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me a little snippy.
. . .
[The conversation escalates to a shouting match.]
Wash: What do you expect me to do, Mal?
Mal: Whatever you have to! And if you can't do it from here, then get a suit on and go outside on the side of the boat—
Wash: And what?! Wave my arms around?
Mal: Wave your arms around, jump up and down, divert the navsats to the transmitter - whatever.
Wash: Divert the— Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!
Mal: Give the beacon a boost, wouldn't it?
Wash: Yes, Mal! It would boost the signal. But even if some passerby did happen to receive, all it would do is muck up their navigation!
Mal: Could be that's true.
Wash: Damn right, it's true! They'd be forced to stop and dig out our signal before they could even go anyplace.
[Mal stares at Wash. Wash stares back, realization dawning.]
Wash: Well, maybe I should do that then!
Mal: Maybe you should!
Wash: Ok!
Mal: Good!
Wash: Fine!
[Jayne walks in on Mal and Wash arguing.]
Jayne: Hey! [they both turn] [What the] guay you two think you're doin'? Fightin' at a time like this. [pause] [You'll] use up all the air.
Wash: [chuckling] Are you? Well, I'm so very sorry, sir. I guess the news that we're all gonna be purple and bloated and fetal in a few hours has made me a little snippy.
. . .
[The conversation escalates to a shouting match.]
Wash: What do you expect me to do, Mal?
Mal: Whatever you have to! And if you can't do it from here, then get a suit on and go outside on the side of the boat—
Wash: And what?! Wave my arms around?
Mal: Wave your arms around, jump up and down, divert the navsats to the transmitter - whatever.
Wash: Divert the— Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!
Mal: Give the beacon a boost, wouldn't it?
Wash: Yes, Mal! It would boost the signal. But even if some passerby did happen to receive, all it would do is muck up their navigation!
Mal: Could be that's true.
Wash: Damn right, it's true! They'd be forced to stop and dig out our signal before they could even go anyplace.
[Mal stares at Wash. Wash stares back, realization dawning.]
Wash: Well, maybe I should do that then!
Mal: Maybe you should!
Wash: Ok!
Mal: Good!
Wash: Fine!
[Jayne walks in on Mal and Wash arguing.]
Jayne: Hey! [they both turn] [What the] guay you two think you're doin'? Fightin' at a time like this. [pause] [You'll] use up all the air.
TV Show: Firefly
[Flashback to Serenity's' early days, with a mechanic named Bester, whom Mal catchesin flagrante delicto.]
Mal: Bester - get your prairie harpy off my boat, and put us back in the air.
Bester: Okay-y, but... can't.
Mal: What do you mean, "can't"?
Bester: No can do, Cap. Secondary grav boot's shot.
[Bester's local girlfriend calls out from behind the engine, where she's getting dressed again.]
Kaylee: No, it ain't! Ain't nothing wrong with your grav boot. Grav boot's just fine. [waves to Mal] Hello!
Bester: She doesn't... eh, that's not what... [to Kaylee] No it ain't!
Kaylee: Sure it is! Grav boot ain't your trouble. I seen the trouble plain as day when I was down there on my back before. Your reg couple's bad.
. . .
Mal: You got much experience with a vessel like this?
Kaylee: I never even been up in one before.
Mal: Wanna?
Kaylee: You mean...
Mal: Sure.
Kaylee: For how long?
Mal: Long as you like. Long as you can keep her in the sky.
Kaylee: You offerin' me a job?
Bester: W-w-w—what?
Mal: Believe I just did.
Kaylee: [grins] I just gotta ask my folks. [starts to leave, turns back] Don't leave without me! [runs off]
Bester: Mal! What do you need two mechanics for?
Mal: [Turning and leaving the engine bay] I really don't.
Mal: Bester - get your prairie harpy off my boat, and put us back in the air.
Bester: Okay-y, but... can't.
Mal: What do you mean, "can't"?
Bester: No can do, Cap. Secondary grav boot's shot.
[Bester's local girlfriend calls out from behind the engine, where she's getting dressed again.]
Kaylee: No, it ain't! Ain't nothing wrong with your grav boot. Grav boot's just fine. [waves to Mal] Hello!
Bester: She doesn't... eh, that's not what... [to Kaylee] No it ain't!
Kaylee: Sure it is! Grav boot ain't your trouble. I seen the trouble plain as day when I was down there on my back before. Your reg couple's bad.
. . .
Mal: You got much experience with a vessel like this?
Kaylee: I never even been up in one before.
Mal: Wanna?
Kaylee: You mean...
Mal: Sure.
Kaylee: For how long?
Mal: Long as you like. Long as you can keep her in the sky.
Kaylee: You offerin' me a job?
Bester: W-w-w—what?
Mal: Believe I just did.
Kaylee: [grins] I just gotta ask my folks. [starts to leave, turns back] Don't leave without me! [runs off]
Bester: Mal! What do you need two mechanics for?
Mal: [Turning and leaving the engine bay] I really don't.
TV Show: Firefly
[Flashback to Inara leasing the shuttle. Mal wonders why a registered Companion would associate with smugglers.]
Mal: If it's Alliance trouble you got, you might want to consider another ship. Some on board here fought for the Independents.
Inara: The Alliance has no quarrel with me. I supported unification.
Mal: Did ya? Well, I don't suppose you're the only whore that did.
Inara: [smiling] Oh, one further addendum. That's the last time you get to call me "whore".
Mal: Absolutely. Never again.
Mal: If it's Alliance trouble you got, you might want to consider another ship. Some on board here fought for the Independents.
Inara: The Alliance has no quarrel with me. I supported unification.
Mal: Did ya? Well, I don't suppose you're the only whore that did.
Inara: [smiling] Oh, one further addendum. That's the last time you get to call me "whore".
Mal: Absolutely. Never again.
TV Show: Firefly
[Back in near-present day, Mal "prepares" Inara's shuttle.]
Mal: I'm not leaving Serenity.
Inara: Mal, you don't have to die alone.
Mal: Everybody dies alone.
Mal: I'm not leaving Serenity.
Inara: Mal, you don't have to die alone.
Mal: Everybody dies alone.
TV Show: Firefly
[Flashback to Mal's years-earlier encounter with three bandits, one of whom is Jayne.]
Marco: Reason? He's gonna talk to us about reason now.
Jayne: Yeah, that's a joke.
Mal: Which one you figure tracked us?
Zoe: The ugly one, sir.
Mal: [nods, pauses] Could you be more specific?
Marco: Do we look reasonable to you?
Mal: Well, looks can be deceiving.
Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low-down... dirty... deceiver.
[Marco laughs]
Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?
Zoe: Had a kind 'o poetry to it, sir.
. . .
[Figuring out it was Jayne who tracked them, Mal offers him a better cut of the goods]
Mal: Look, forget anything I said. I'm sure you're treated very well. You get the perks, got your own room.
[Jayne looks dejected]
Mal: No? You share a bunk?
Jayne: [indicates third bandit] With that one.
Mal: [smirks] Really.
Marco: Jayne, this ain't funny!
Jayne: Huh, yeah, I ain't laughing.
Mal: You move on over to this side, we'll not only show you where the stuff's at, we'll see to [it] you get your fair share. Not no sad seven.
Jayne: [piqued] Private room?
Marco: Jayne!
Mal: Your own room. Full run of the kitchen. Whole shot.
Marco: Jayne, I ain't asking-
Jayne: [shoots Marco in the leg] Shut up. [aims at the other bandit without looking] How big a room?
Marco: Reason? He's gonna talk to us about reason now.
Jayne: Yeah, that's a joke.
Mal: Which one you figure tracked us?
Zoe: The ugly one, sir.
Mal: [nods, pauses] Could you be more specific?
Marco: Do we look reasonable to you?
Mal: Well, looks can be deceiving.
Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low-down... dirty... deceiver.
[Marco laughs]
Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?
Zoe: Had a kind 'o poetry to it, sir.
. . .
[Figuring out it was Jayne who tracked them, Mal offers him a better cut of the goods]
Mal: Look, forget anything I said. I'm sure you're treated very well. You get the perks, got your own room.
[Jayne looks dejected]
Mal: No? You share a bunk?
Jayne: [indicates third bandit] With that one.
Mal: [smirks] Really.
Marco: Jayne, this ain't funny!
Jayne: Huh, yeah, I ain't laughing.
Mal: You move on over to this side, we'll not only show you where the stuff's at, we'll see to [it] you get your fair share. Not no sad seven.
Jayne: [piqued] Private room?
Marco: Jayne!
Mal: Your own room. Full run of the kitchen. Whole shot.
Marco: Jayne, I ain't asking-
Jayne: [shoots Marco in the leg] Shut up. [aims at the other bandit without looking] How big a room?
TV Show: Firefly