Freaks and Geeks Quotes
Harold: Last time I had this much fun, I was pinned down in a foxhole by the North Koreans.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Ken: Would you quit it, you're making me sick!
Daniel: Why don't you make out with Nicky, and we'll call it a foursome?
Ken: (Mocking) Yeah, why don't you make out with my butt, and we'll call it love?
Daniel: Why don't you make out with Nicky, and we'll call it a foursome?
Ken: (Mocking) Yeah, why don't you make out with my butt, and we'll call it love?
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Millie: I heard about what she does in the yearbook darkroom.
Lindsay: What? She does what? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Millie: She does it.
Lindsay: What do you mean, it?
Millie: She fornicates it!
Lindsay: What? She does what? I have no idea what you're talking about.
Millie: She does it.
Lindsay: What do you mean, it?
Millie: She fornicates it!
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Sam: What am I supposed to do with a porno?
Neal: You watch it. Over and over.
Sam: Ew, only perverts watch pornos, right?
Neal: Well, then every guy in America is a pervert.
Neal: You watch it. Over and over.
Sam: Ew, only perverts watch pornos, right?
Neal: Well, then every guy in America is a pervert.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Harold: She's hanging with a bad crowd. She's lying and cheating and next thing you know, she's Patty Hearst with a gun to our heads.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Neal: What is wrong with them? Why do they think that hitting people with towels is so funny?
Bill: If it wasn't us, it would be kind of funny.
Bill: If it wasn't us, it would be kind of funny.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Sam: Will girls ever like us?
Neal: I think our best play is to go for the smart, sexy librarian type.
Neal: I think our best play is to go for the smart, sexy librarian type.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Bill: Stop looking up my shorts.
Neal: Why would we? There's nothing to see.
Sam: Just keep climbing, Wonder Woman.
Bill: There is something to see.
Neal: Why would we? There's nothing to see.
Sam: Just keep climbing, Wonder Woman.
Bill: There is something to see.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Neal: My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.
Bill: But you're not funny.
Neal: Screw you. I'm hilarious!
Bill: But you're not funny.
Neal: Screw you. I'm hilarious!
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Daniel: I wrote out some Ramones songs.
Nick: The Ramones? They only use like three chords.
Daniel: Alright, so I'll learn another one.
Nick: The Ramones? They only use like three chords.
Daniel: Alright, so I'll learn another one.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Daniel: Rock 'n roll don't come from your brain. It comes from your crotch.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Jean: Nobody's home. You wanna have a little sex?
Harold: Sex?! Well, okay.
Harold: Sex?! Well, okay.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Harold: You can hardly stand to be around us. When you two were kids, you used to run around naked and lay in bed with us all night. We bathed you and we cleaned your butts when you pooped and we loved it. Now, we try to pat you on the head and you run for the hills. Well, I'm fed up. We are going to be close from now on whether you like it or not. We're going to spend quality time together, and we're going to enjoy it, damn it!
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Daniel: I hate astrology. What, everybody born in the same month is gonna have the same life?
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Ken: I just want to be older so I can go to bars. Everything fun in this world happens in bars.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Daniel: Lindsay... I think it's really great that you and Nick are going out.
Lindsay: Yeah. Me too.
Daniel: No, I mean it. Nick's a great guy. We give him a hard time, but you know... he's the man. I just think it's really great you guys are going out. He's a really great guy.
Lindsay: Yeah, I know.
Daniel: Nick's a stud. You know? I mean, he may not seem like it, but he is.
Ms. Yeats: Mr. Desario, don't you have something to do?
Daniel: Right, but I thought we were going to do that after class, Ms. Yeats.
Ms. Yeats: Oh, be still my beating heart.
Daniel: [whispers to Lindsay] I like that dress.
Lindsay: Yeah. Me too.
Daniel: No, I mean it. Nick's a great guy. We give him a hard time, but you know... he's the man. I just think it's really great you guys are going out. He's a really great guy.
Lindsay: Yeah, I know.
Daniel: Nick's a stud. You know? I mean, he may not seem like it, but he is.
Ms. Yeats: Mr. Desario, don't you have something to do?
Daniel: Right, but I thought we were going to do that after class, Ms. Yeats.
Ms. Yeats: Oh, be still my beating heart.
Daniel: [whispers to Lindsay] I like that dress.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Nick: Hey, man, I heard Kim got an A on her world civ test. That's great. Oh, no, that's right, that was MY girlfriend. Ohhh...
Daniel: That's really funny.
Nick: Oh, you know what though? Lindsay got detention for flipping off her gym teacher. Oh no, that's right, that was YOUR girlfriend. Oh ho ho...
Daniel: I heard Kim punched you in the chest really hard. Oh, whoops, that was me. [Daniel punches Nick.]
Nick: That was really hard.
Daniel: That's really funny.
Nick: Oh, you know what though? Lindsay got detention for flipping off her gym teacher. Oh no, that's right, that was YOUR girlfriend. Oh ho ho...
Daniel: I heard Kim punched you in the chest really hard. Oh, whoops, that was me. [Daniel punches Nick.]
Nick: That was really hard.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Sam: Cindy is not abnormal.
Bill: Yeah? She cut the cheese.
Neal: Oh my God.
Sam: That's not funny.
Bill: I heard it, man, I swear. She blamed it on the chair. But she cut the cheese.
Sam: Well, some chairs make weird noises. What kind of a chair was it?
Bill: I don't know. Vinyl?
Sam: Vinyl chairs always squeak.
Bill: It wasn't a squeak. It was the sound of cheese being cut.
Bill: Yeah? She cut the cheese.
Neal: Oh my God.
Sam: That's not funny.
Bill: I heard it, man, I swear. She blamed it on the chair. But she cut the cheese.
Sam: Well, some chairs make weird noises. What kind of a chair was it?
Bill: I don't know. Vinyl?
Sam: Vinyl chairs always squeak.
Bill: It wasn't a squeak. It was the sound of cheese being cut.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Jean Weir: Honey, tell her about Korea.
Harold Weir: Korea. [sighs] Well, one day, I, uh, went into Seoul on a weekend pass. And I went to this bar. And I had a few too many. And I followed a couple of my buddies to the red-light district.
Jean Weir: Your father's first time wasn't special, and he's always regretted it.
Harold: It was the worst $5 I've ever spent. And I wish I could get that $5 back.
Harold Weir: Korea. [sighs] Well, one day, I, uh, went into Seoul on a weekend pass. And I went to this bar. And I had a few too many. And I followed a couple of my buddies to the red-light district.
Jean Weir: Your father's first time wasn't special, and he's always regretted it.
Harold: It was the worst $5 I've ever spent. And I wish I could get that $5 back.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Nick: See, Lindsay. Nothing 'bout you and me should ever be rushed. I made that mistake before, but I'm not gonna make it with you. Cause we've got time. We've got all the time in the world. And you know why? [singing] Cause you're my lady of the morning. Love shines in your eyes. Sparkling, clear and lovely. [speaking] You're my lady. See, Lindsay. We were made for each other.
Lindsay: You wanna make out or something?
Nick: No. All guys wanna make out. But I just wanna hold you. [holds her] What's better than this?
Lindsay: You wanna make out or something?
Nick: No. All guys wanna make out. But I just wanna hold you. [holds her] What's better than this?
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Sam: Think we could be arrested for making prank calls?
Neal: Yeah, and we'll get sent to telephone prison.
Neal: Yeah, and we'll get sent to telephone prison.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Bill: Fredericks? You're a turd. A stinky fat turd. Go sniff a jock strap, you poophead. You love patting boys butts. You love patting boys butts, butt. You butt patter. You're a perv, and a loser, and a stinky turd.
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks
Mr. Weir: We are not robots and things do not need to change. I like how things are! I like eating the same things. You know why? Because those are the things I like! I like chicken. And I like pot roast. And, that's how I feel about you Jean.
Mrs. Weir: Oh please. You like me like you like a pot roast?
Mr. Weir: I love pot roast!
Mrs. Weir: Oh please. You like me like you like a pot roast?
Mr. Weir: I love pot roast!
TV Show: Freaks and Geeks