Friends Quotes
[Everyone is watching Joey finish off the turkey.]
Joey: Well, that’s it. I’m done. Whew! [wipes his forehead] There come the meat sweats. [Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.]
Monica: Well, Joey, we’re all... we’re all very proud of you.
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
Phoebe: Is there anything we can do for you?
Joey: No, just nobody press on my stomach.
Rachel: You can keep those pants, by the way.
[Joey notices that Monica has a pie.]
Joey: Whoa—hey—wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?
Monica: Yeah. You want some?
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver.
[Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.]
Joey: A little bigger.
[Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.]
Joey: Little bigger.
[Monica moves the knife again.]
Joey: What? Are you afraid you’re gonna run out? Cut me a real piece!
Joey: Well, that’s it. I’m done. Whew! [wipes his forehead] There come the meat sweats. [Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.]
Monica: Well, Joey, we’re all... we’re all very proud of you.
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
Phoebe: Is there anything we can do for you?
Joey: No, just nobody press on my stomach.
Rachel: You can keep those pants, by the way.
[Joey notices that Monica has a pie.]
Joey: Whoa—hey—wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?
Monica: Yeah. You want some?
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver.
[Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.]
Joey: A little bigger.
[Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.]
Joey: Little bigger.
[Monica moves the knife again.]
Joey: What? Are you afraid you’re gonna run out? Cut me a real piece!
TV Show: Friends
[Ross baby-talks to Rachel's belly.]
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Okay, 'cause when — when he said "I can't wait to hear your first words," I thought, "There's a trick!"
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Okay, 'cause when — when he said "I can't wait to hear your first words," I thought, "There's a trick!"
TV Show: Friends
Trudie Styler: Look, I've just pressed a button triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here.
Phoebe: The Police, here? A reunion?
Phoebe: The Police, here? A reunion?
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Ross, How did the conversation go ?
Ross: Great. I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where ?
Ross: Great. I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where ?
TV Show: Friends
[Phoebe plays Ms. Pacman, her wedding gift to Monica and Chandler.]
Monica: Oh, my God, Phoebe, you are on fire!
Phoebe: I know!
Chandler: One more score to go. You can do it! [touches Phoebe's shoulder]
Phoebe: Don't touch me.
Monica: [To Chandler] Don't touch her!
Chandler: All right. Go left, go left, go right, go right!
Phoebe: I can't, I can't [she loses] No! You son of a bi-!
[Ben comes in with Ross. Epic music swells, drowning out Phoebe's 90-second curse-rant]
Ross: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!
Monica: Oh, my God, Phoebe, you are on fire!
Phoebe: I know!
Chandler: One more score to go. You can do it! [touches Phoebe's shoulder]
Phoebe: Don't touch me.
Monica: [To Chandler] Don't touch her!
Chandler: All right. Go left, go left, go right, go right!
Phoebe: I can't, I can't [she loses] No! You son of a bi-!
[Ben comes in with Ross. Epic music swells, drowning out Phoebe's 90-second curse-rant]
Ross: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Ben. No, don't look at the machine!
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: How about: for a girl, Rain?
Ross: Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln and my dress is made out of wheat."
Phoebe: I know her!
Ross: Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln and my dress is made out of wheat."
Phoebe: I know her!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: I'm not great with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?... Cheese?
TV Show: Friends
Monica: [Browsing through their CD's] Honey, the Miami Vice Soundtrack, really?
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store... in exchange for money.
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store... in exchange for money.
TV Show: Friends
Parker: To quote Ross, "I better be going!"
Pheobe: Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!
Pheobe: Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Well, if you're gonna get to know him then you'd better do it now.
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because I'm gonna kill him.
Joey: What? Why?
Phoebe: You guys were right, Parker's too excited about everything. I mean I'm all for living, but come on, this is the Geller's 35th wedding anniversary, let's call a spade a spade, this party stinks!
Joey: I know, I'm having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, then when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?
Joey: I dunno, I guess it could've been. I didn't really look at it. I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell outta there.
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because I'm gonna kill him.
Joey: What? Why?
Phoebe: You guys were right, Parker's too excited about everything. I mean I'm all for living, but come on, this is the Geller's 35th wedding anniversary, let's call a spade a spade, this party stinks!
Joey: I know, I'm having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, then when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?
Joey: I dunno, I guess it could've been. I didn't really look at it. I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell outta there.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: (About Parker) Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
TV Show: Friends
Parker: Wait. I want to take a mental picture of this moment. Click!
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.
TV Show: Friends
Parker: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word wrong? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical and aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Parker: Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam!
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word wrong? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical and aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Parker: Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam!
TV Show: Friends
Parker: I'm a positive person!
Phoebe: No. I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus...on Prozac...in Disneyland...getting laid!
Phoebe: No. I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus...on Prozac...in Disneyland...getting laid!
TV Show: Friends
[Joey is reluctant to do anotherSoap Opera Digestinterview because the previous one got him fired.]
Joey: Who knows what I might say this time?
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say!
Joey: Fine, all right, I'll do it. But, hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid!
Ross: Just then, or — or all the time, 'cause... we have jobs, you know.
Joey: Who knows what I might say this time?
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say!
Joey: Fine, all right, I'll do it. But, hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid!
Ross: Just then, or — or all the time, 'cause... we have jobs, you know.
TV Show: Friends
Joey: In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind. And I'm also a mento for kids.
Interviewer: A "mento"?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role model.
Interviewer: A men-to.
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.
Interviewer: A "mento"?
Joey: You know, a mento. A role model.
Interviewer: A men-to.
Joey: Right.
Interviewer: Like the candy?
Joey: As a matter of fact, I do.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Ross, why are you all hot and sweaty?
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler!
[Monica looks confused.]
Ross: Which isn't a sexual thing.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler!
[Monica looks confused.]
Ross: Which isn't a sexual thing.
TV Show: Friends
Monica: Hey Joey, come taste this.
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well… (Feeds him a spoonful of what she’s cooking.) I’m getting my revenge!
Joey: You cooked him?
Joey: What is it?
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well… (Feeds him a spoonful of what she’s cooking.) I’m getting my revenge!
Joey: You cooked him?
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Well, the interview…
Chandler: What about it?
Phoebe: Y’know! You don’t make a very good first impression.
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Phoebe: Oh you don’t know.
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Phoebe: Well it’s just like you’re trying too hard. Always making jokes, y’know, you just—You come off a little needy.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, I’m not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Chandler: What about it?
Phoebe: Y’know! You don’t make a very good first impression.
Chandler: (shocked) What?!
Phoebe: Oh you don’t know.
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Phoebe: Well it’s just like you’re trying too hard. Always making jokes, y’know, you just—You come off a little needy.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, I’m not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
TV Show: Friends
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, that’s the first A I’ve gotten since seventh grade, and I didn’t have to sleep with the teacher this time.
TV Show: Friends