Friends Quotes
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Hmm?
Rachel: Who is George Snuffleupagus?
Phoebe: He's Big Bird's friend. (laughs)
Phoebe: Hmm?
Rachel: Who is George Snuffleupagus?
Phoebe: He's Big Bird's friend. (laughs)
TV Show: Friends
Ross: It's amazing, okay? You just reach in there, there's just one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right? As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm trying that.
Joey: You know what blows my mind? Women can see breast whenever they want, you just look down and they are there! How you get any work done is beyond me.
Phoebe: You know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things and, like, not even care.
[Long Pause]
Ross: ... Multiple Orgasms!
Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm trying that.
Joey: You know what blows my mind? Women can see breast whenever they want, you just look down and they are there! How you get any work done is beyond me.
Phoebe: You know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things and, like, not even care.
[Long Pause]
Ross: ... Multiple Orgasms!
TV Show: Friends
[Chandler and Phoebe both get ready to break up with their significant others.]
Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
Phoebe: This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us.
Chandler: It's great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car and run over some puppies.
TV Show: Friends
[Ross draws his laundry detergent]
Rachel: What is that?
Ross: Überweiss! It's new, it's German, it's Extra tough
Rachel: What is that?
Ross: Überweiss! It's new, it's German, it's Extra tough
TV Show: Friends
[The gang watches Joey's performance in Freud!, a local musical.]
Joey: [in a German accent]Well, Eva, we've doon some excellent work here, and I would have to say, your problem is qviiite clear.
[singing]All you want is a dinkle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang!
Joey: [in a German accent]Well, Eva, we've doon some excellent work here, and I would have to say, your problem is qviiite clear.
[singing]All you want is a dinkle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.
Jill Goodacre: [gives him a strange look and a stick of gum]
Chandler: [thinking] Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
Jill Goodacre: [gives him a strange look and a stick of gum]
Chandler: [thinking] Gum would be perfection. Gum would be perfection. I could have said gum would be nice, could have said I'll have a stick. But no no no no no, for me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: [after being told by everyone he makes a gay first impression even though he said "be vague about it"] So... what is it about me?
Monica: I don't know....You...you have a quality.
Everyone: Yeah. Absolutely. A quality.
Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality! Good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
Monica: I don't know....You...you have a quality.
Everyone: Yeah. Absolutely. A quality.
Chandler: Oh, oh, a quality! Good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: What is it about me? Is it my hair?
Rachel: Yes, it's exactly that, Chandler. It's your hair.
Phoebe: You have homosexual hair.
Rachel: Yes, it's exactly that, Chandler. It's your hair.
Phoebe: You have homosexual hair.
TV Show: Friends
[Ross' grandmother woke up from being "dead" and then died.]
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Aunt Lillian: She may have died?
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
Mr. Geller: She may have died.
Aunt Lillian: She may have died?
Mr. Geller: We're looking into it.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Susan: Yeah, you know, you have to take a course, otherwise they don't let you do it.
Susan: Yeah, you know, you have to take a course, otherwise they don't let you do it.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: [talks to his unborn baby] And everyone's telling me, "You gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major." So on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills any more!
TV Show: Friends
Monica: [complaining about her Thanksgiving] Did anyone ever give a hoot about what I wanted? NO, NO, NO, NO! And I'm just... [her voice gets very squeaky and high-pitched]
Chandler: Okay, Monica, only dogs can hear you now.
Chandler: Okay, Monica, only dogs can hear you now.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe[singing]: I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?
La lalala laaa la lala La lalala la la...
My mother's ashes, even her eyelashes, are resting in a little yellow jar.
And sometimes, when it's breezy, I feel a little sneezy...
How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?
La lalala laaa la lala La lalala la la...
My mother's ashes, even her eyelashes, are resting in a little yellow jar.
And sometimes, when it's breezy, I feel a little sneezy...
TV Show: Friends
[Rachel hands out copies of her steamy romance novel draft to the gang.]
Rachel: Oh, and — and on page 2, he's not reaching for her heaving beasts.
Monica: What's a niffle?
Joey: You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. So I'm not a great typist…
Ross: Wait! Did you get to the part about "his huge, throbbing pens"? I tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Phoebe: I just got to the part about "her public hair."
Rachel: Oh, and — and on page 2, he's not reaching for her heaving beasts.
Monica: What's a niffle?
Joey: You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. So I'm not a great typist…
Ross: Wait! Did you get to the part about "his huge, throbbing pens"? I tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Phoebe: I just got to the part about "her public hair."
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: What are you guys doing out here?
Ross: Uh... uh... Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung. Somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Joey: Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size.
Chandler: Okay, you guys spend way too much time together.
Ross: Uh... uh... Well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game. But, um, apparently, somebody overslept.
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung. Somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Joey: Yeah, well you didn't call and leave your grip size.
Chandler: Okay, you guys spend way too much time together.
TV Show: Friends
[Chandler is setting the record straight with his mother and Joey's listening in
Joey: (to Ross) ... and then he said, "When are you gonna start acting like my mom?" then she said "When are you
gonna realize I have a bomb?"
Ross: Are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna realize I am your mom?
Joey: Oh... That makes more sense.
Joey: (to Ross) ... and then he said, "When are you gonna start acting like my mom?" then she said "When are you
gonna realize I have a bomb?"
Ross: Are you sure she didn't say "When are you gonna realize I am your mom?
Joey: Oh... That makes more sense.
TV Show: Friends
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like [snaps fingers] that.
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like [snaps fingers] that.
TV Show: Friends
[Monica has just beaten Joey and Chandler at foosball with just herself playing for the "who-knows?" how many times]
Monica: [happy] And that would be a shut-down!
Joey and Chandler: [in unison] SHUT-OUT!!
Monica: [happy] And that would be a shut-down!
Joey and Chandler: [in unison] SHUT-OUT!!
TV Show: Friends
Ross: Wait, what were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler: Look, it was an accident! It wasn't like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts!
Chandler: Look, it was an accident! It wasn't like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts!
TV Show: Friends
Ross: All right, all right. We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
Chandler: You know, I don't see that happening.
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler: Well, I'm not showing you my tat.
Chandler: You know, I don't see that happening.
Rachel: C'mon, he's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler: Well, I'm not showing you my tat.
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: You are supposed to be in there so i can see your thing.
Chandler: Sorry. My-my thing was in there with me.
Chandler: Sorry. My-my thing was in there with me.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: (preparing to break up with Janice for the third time) There's no easy way to say this. At least, there's no new way for me to say this.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date place in the neighborhood?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: Hey, does anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
Joey: How about Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
Ross: Hey, does anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?
TV Show: Friends
Stoned guy: Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are fantastic!
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you like them.
Stoned guy: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of 'em!
Monica: Oh... well, um... [chuckles] there's all there is of these. But, in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Stoned guy: Tartlets? Tarlets? Tarlets? Word has lost all meaning.
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you like them.
Stoned guy: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of 'em!
Monica: Oh... well, um... [chuckles] there's all there is of these. But, in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Stoned guy: Tartlets? Tarlets? Tarlets? Word has lost all meaning.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: [about why she and her twin sister Ursula don't get along] It’s mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know. I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking. Even though I did it, later that same day. But to my parents, by then it was like, "Yeah, right, so what else is new?"
TV Show: Friends