Friends Quotes
Monica: So, what'd you think of the house?
Chandler: It's perfect! It's everything we've been looking for!
Monica: Isn't it? And what about the amazing wainscoting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Chandler: And the wigglewoms and the zipzorps?... What were the things you said?
Chandler: It's perfect! It's everything we've been looking for!
Monica: Isn't it? And what about the amazing wainscoting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?
Chandler: And the wigglewoms and the zipzorps?... What were the things you said?
TV Show: Friends
Ross: We think Chandler might be having an affair.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street, and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. I'm so sorry.
Monica: Oh, my God... oh, my God, that's awful... What did you think of the house?
Phoebe: What?
Joey: Monica, you understand what we're saying, right?
Monica: Yeah... sure... I'm... devastated, obviously!... Did you think the neighborhood was homey?
[Chandler enters]
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: You son of a bitch.
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings really gone downhill around here?
Monica: What?
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street, and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: They went in together. I'm so sorry.
Monica: Oh, my God... oh, my God, that's awful... What did you think of the house?
Phoebe: What?
Joey: Monica, you understand what we're saying, right?
Monica: Yeah... sure... I'm... devastated, obviously!... Did you think the neighborhood was homey?
[Chandler enters]
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: You son of a bitch.
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings really gone downhill around here?
TV Show: Friends
[On the game showPyramid, Joey's partner Gene gets the word "cream."]
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Joey: A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
Gene: It's heavier than milk.
Joey: A rock! A dog! The earth!
Gene: Pass!
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Joey: A spoon! Your hands! Your face!
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper! Snow! A ghost!
Gene: It's heavier than milk.
Joey: A rock! A dog! The earth!
Gene: Pass!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then, who was on my bed?
Monica: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross: No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats!
Ross: Oh my God!
Monica: You were my midnight mystery kisser?
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
Chandler: What did I marry into?
Ross: Well, then, who was on my bed?
Monica: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross: No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats!
Ross: Oh my God!
Monica: You were my midnight mystery kisser?
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
Chandler: What did I marry into?
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers!
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers!
TV Show: Friends
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it!
Ross: You're mad at me about last night? I was trying to do the right thing!
Rachel: Really? Well, if you had done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Ross: Well...
Rachel: Stop that!!
Ross: I can't believe this! I was being a good guy! I treated you with respect and understanding!
Rachel: [sarcastically] That's so hot!
Ross: I was looking out for you!
Rachel: I am a big girl! I don't need someone telling what's best for me!
Ross: I've got to say, I've not had sex a lot of times before; this is the worst ever!
Rachel: It wasn't very good for me, either!
Ross: You're mad at me about last night? I was trying to do the right thing!
Rachel: Really? Well, if you had done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed. I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Ross: Well...
Rachel: Stop that!!
Ross: I can't believe this! I was being a good guy! I treated you with respect and understanding!
Rachel: [sarcastically] That's so hot!
Ross: I was looking out for you!
Rachel: I am a big girl! I don't need someone telling what's best for me!
Ross: I've got to say, I've not had sex a lot of times before; this is the worst ever!
Rachel: It wasn't very good for me, either!
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: As of today, my name is Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
Mike: I thought you had to just make your name Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan!
Phoebe: I can change it to anything I want.
Mike: Well, if you can, I can. My name is Crap Bag.
Mike: I thought you had to just make your name Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan!
Phoebe: I can change it to anything I want.
Mike: Well, if you can, I can. My name is Crap Bag.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Will you please be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about 'Buffay-Hannigan'?
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock!
Mike: Do you know what a bananahammock is?
Phoebe: It's a funny word!
Mike: It's a speedo!
Phoebe: [pauses] Oh crap!
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about 'Buffay-Hannigan'?
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock!
Mike: Do you know what a bananahammock is?
Phoebe: It's a funny word!
Mike: It's a speedo!
Phoebe: [pauses] Oh crap!
TV Show: Friends
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Rachel: What?
Ross: Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What've I got to do to get a goodbye? Be best friends with you? Go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things!
Rachel: What?
Ross: Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What've I got to do to get a goodbye? Be best friends with you? Go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things!
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: You really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care?
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Rachel: I cannot believe that after ten years you do not know one thing about me!
Ross: Fine. Then why didn't you say something?
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard, Ross! I can't even begin to explain to you how much I am going to miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go. Okay? So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right? There's your goodbye.
Ross: That's what it seemed like.
Rachel: I cannot believe that after ten years you do not know one thing about me!
Ross: Fine. Then why didn't you say something?
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard, Ross! I can't even begin to explain to you how much I am going to miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go. Okay? So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right? There's your goodbye.
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I don't know what I'm going to do without you!
Monica: [crying, barely understandable] You're the greatest friend I ever had.
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!
Monica: [crying] What?
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I...I...I... I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!
Monica: [crying, barely understandable] That is so sweet! [they hug]
Monica: [crying, barely understandable] You're the greatest friend I ever had.
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!
Monica: [crying] What?
Rachel: [crying, barely understandable] I...I...I... I'm gonna miss seeing you everyday!
Monica: [crying, barely understandable] That is so sweet! [they hug]
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die—
Phoebe: —Dive. Yeah, they dove headfirst into fun on the farm.
Phoebe: —Dive. Yeah, they dove headfirst into fun on the farm.
TV Show: Friends
Doctor: You do know it's twins, right?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. These are the faces of two people in the know!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. These are the faces of two people in the know!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: What do we do?
Monica: What do you mean "what do we do"?
Chandler: Twins! Twins!
Monica: Chandler, you're panicking.
Chandler: A-ha. Join me, won't you?
Monica: What do you mean "what do we do"?
Chandler: Twins! Twins!
Monica: Chandler, you're panicking.
Chandler: A-ha. Join me, won't you?
TV Show: Friends
Monica: What if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Chandler: What if it's not? What if it's a king?
Monica: [sarcastically] Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Chandler: What if it's not? What if it's a king?
Monica: [sarcastically] Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: Next time, can I say breathe?
Monica: No! The last time you did, you said it like Dracula and it scared her!
Monica: No! The last time you did, you said it like Dracula and it scared her!
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: [while Erica is giving birth] Is it really that bad?
Erica: Uh-huh. I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Erica: Uh-huh. I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
TV Show: Friends
Monica: I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies. I don't care if the entire cast of Eight Is Enough comes out of there!
TV Show: Friends
Monica: We decided to name the baby girl, Erica.
Erica: Hey, that's just like my name!
Monica: Son of a gun, it is.
Erica: Hey, that's just like my name!
Monica: Son of a gun, it is.
TV Show: Friends
Joey: What kinds are they?
Monica: This is a boy and that's a girl.
Chandler: Yeah, her name's Erica.
Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.
Chandler: Yeah, it's a shame you two never spent more time together.
Monica: This is a boy and that's a girl.
Chandler: Yeah, her name's Erica.
Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.
Chandler: Yeah, it's a shame you two never spent more time together.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Have you ever chased someone to the airport before?
Ross: Not since my cop show got canceled.
Ross: Not since my cop show got canceled.
TV Show: Friends
[Phoebe and Ross are driving to John F. Kennedy Airport to find Rachel. Phoebe calls Rachel and tries to convince her to get off the plane in an attempt to stall her]
Rachel: [Rachel's cell phone rings] Hello?
Phoebe: Rachel! Oh good! Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: [to Ross: ] For what it's worth, we would've caught her if we were at the right airport.
Ross: [sarcastically] Yay...
Phoebe: Uh, Rach, hang on. [Phoebe holds out her phone to Ross, but he refuses to talk and repeatedly mouths "No!"]
Rachel: Phoebe, is everything okay?
Phoebe: Um... actually, no. No, y-you have to get off the plane.
Rachel: What, why?
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left phalange.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. All right, look, I have to go, I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris. [Rachel hangs up and chuckles]
[A passenger sitting beside her has been eavesdropping on her conversation and shows signs of worry.]
Worried passenger: Um, ahem, what was that?
Rachel: Oh! That was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane because she had a "feeling" that there was something wrong with the "left phalange".
Worried passenger: Okay, uh, that doesn't sound good.
Rachel: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this and you know what? She's almost never right.
Worried passenger: But she is sometimes?
Rachel: Well?
[The man gets up from his seat and starts gathering his luggage from the overhead compartment.]
Ra
Rachel: [Rachel's cell phone rings] Hello?
Phoebe: Rachel! Oh good! Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: [to Ross: ] For what it's worth, we would've caught her if we were at the right airport.
Ross: [sarcastically] Yay...
Phoebe: Uh, Rach, hang on. [Phoebe holds out her phone to Ross, but he refuses to talk and repeatedly mouths "No!"]
Rachel: Phoebe, is everything okay?
Phoebe: Um... actually, no. No, y-you have to get off the plane.
Rachel: What, why?
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left phalange.
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. All right, look, I have to go, I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris. [Rachel hangs up and chuckles]
[A passenger sitting beside her has been eavesdropping on her conversation and shows signs of worry.]
Worried passenger: Um, ahem, what was that?
Rachel: Oh! That was just my crazy friend. She told me I should get off the plane because she had a "feeling" that there was something wrong with the "left phalange".
Worried passenger: Okay, uh, that doesn't sound good.
Rachel: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this and you know what? She's almost never right.
Worried passenger: But she is sometimes?
Rachel: Well?
[The man gets up from his seat and starts gathering his luggage from the overhead compartment.]
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TV Show: Friends
[After failing to convince Rachel to get off the plane, Ross heads to his apartment in despair and finds a message from Rachel on his answering machine.]
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: Ross? Hi, it's me. I just got back on the plane and I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I... wasn't expecting to see you and then all of the sudden, you're there and saying these things and... now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you... I love you... I love you... what am I doing? I love you. Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Ross: Oh, my god!
Rachel: [to flight attendant] Okay, e-excuse me--
Flight attendant: Ma'am, please sit down!
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I needed to tell someone that I love them.
Flight attendant: Ma'am, I can't let you off the plane.
Ross: [listening to the conversation] Let her off the plane!!
Flight attendant: I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Rachel: Oh, please miss, you don't understand!
Ross: Try to understand!!
Rachel: Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you could just let me off the-- [the message cuts before Rachel finishes her sentence]
Ross: No, no!! Oh, my god. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
Rachel: [coming into room] I got off the plane.
Ross: You got off the plane.
[they passionately make out]
Rachel: I do love you.
Ross: I love you, too, and I am never letting you go again.
Rachel: Okay, because this is where I want to be. Okay, no more of this, I don't wanna mess this up again.
Ross: Me either, okay, we are done being stupid.
Rachel: It's you and me, all right, this is it? You and me, this is it.
Ross: Oh, my god!
Rachel: [to flight attendant] Okay, e-excuse me--
Flight attendant: Ma'am, please sit down!
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I needed to tell someone that I love them.
Flight attendant: Ma'am, I can't let you off the plane.
Ross: [listening to the conversation] Let her off the plane!!
Flight attendant: I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Rachel: Oh, please miss, you don't understand!
Ross: Try to understand!!
Rachel: Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you could just let me off the-- [the message cuts before Rachel finishes her sentence]
Ross: No, no!! Oh, my god. Did she get off the plane? Did she get off the plane?
Rachel: [coming into room] I got off the plane.
Ross: You got off the plane.
[they passionately make out]
Rachel: I do love you.
Ross: I love you, too, and I am never letting you go again.
Rachel: Okay, because this is where I want to be. Okay, no more of this, I don't wanna mess this up again.
Ross: Me either, okay, we are done being stupid.
Rachel: It's you and me, all right, this is it? You and me, this is it.
TV Show: Friends