Friends Quotes
Joey: Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical.
Chandler: I want to say you, but that seems like such an easy answer.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of "Tale of Two Cities." So I think I'm gonna sing "New York, New York", and uh, oh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
Ross: Ah, Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: What?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Joey: Who?
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment.
Joey: Oh, okay. [to Ross] The what?
Chandler: I want to say you, but that seems like such an easy answer.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of "Tale of Two Cities." So I think I'm gonna sing "New York, New York", and uh, oh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
Ross: Ah, Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: What?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick 'em.
Joey: Who?
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment.
Joey: Oh, okay. [to Ross] The what?
TV Show: Friends
Rachel: (After giving a very long kiss to Ross) Well, that'll be a kiss he won't forget for a few hours.
Chandler: Yeah. Or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Rachel: (Pauses to think, then runs after Ross) Wait! Ross- I'm jealous! I'm jealous!
Chandler: Yeah. Or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Rachel: (Pauses to think, then runs after Ross) Wait! Ross- I'm jealous! I'm jealous!
TV Show: Friends
[Monica is returning a video.]
Clerk: Six dollars, please.
Monica: Six? I just had it for one night. It's three.
Clerk: Eight o'clock is the cut-off and — aww, it's 8: 02.
Monica: You know, in a weird way, you have too much power.
Clerk: Six dollars, please.
Monica: Six? I just had it for one night. It's three.
Clerk: Eight o'clock is the cut-off and — aww, it's 8: 02.
Monica: You know, in a weird way, you have too much power.
TV Show: Friends
[Phoebe's former singing partner left her again for commercial fame]
Phoebe: [singing about her]Jingle Bitch screwed me over!
Go to hell, Jingle Whore!
Go to hell, go to hell,
Go to hell...
Phoebe: [singing about her]Jingle Bitch screwed me over!
Go to hell, Jingle Whore!
Go to hell, go to hell,
Go to hell...
TV Show: Friends
[Leslie finishes a song and everybody claps.]
Phoebe: See, see, everyone else is happy she's done.
Leslie: Okay, my next song's called: Phoebe Buffay, what can I say?
I really love when we were singing partners
And I shouldn't have left you that way.
Phoebe: Oh, no: one of those look-for-the-hidden-meaning songs.
Phoebe: See, see, everyone else is happy she's done.
Leslie: Okay, my next song's called: Phoebe Buffay, what can I say?
I really love when we were singing partners
And I shouldn't have left you that way.
Phoebe: Oh, no: one of those look-for-the-hidden-meaning songs.
TV Show: Friends
[During Rachel's phone call, Ross loudly grinds pepper. Then his picnic basket catches fire from a candle.]
Rachel: Excuse me — I'm sorry, I'm going to have to call you back. I've got Shemp in my office.
Rachel: Excuse me — I'm sorry, I'm going to have to call you back. I've got Shemp in my office.
TV Show: Friends
[Monica and Phoebe are on a double date with UN Diplomat Sergei and his translator.]
Monica: I speak a little French too. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
[The translator shrugs and blushes.]
Monica: What did I say?
Translator: You just asked me whether I wanted to go to bed with you tonight!
Monica: I speak a little French too. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
[The translator shrugs and blushes.]
Monica: What did I say?
Translator: You just asked me whether I wanted to go to bed with you tonight!
TV Show: Friends
Joey: Do you think I need a new walk?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Well, I've been walking the same way since high school. You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? I think I need a "take-notice" walk!
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Well, I've been walking the same way since high school. You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? I think I need a "take-notice" walk!
Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: All right, look. If you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: Oh, my God! This is like 60 Minutes, when at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then, you know, you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
TV Show: Friends
Joey: It's never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Monica: It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Monica: It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
TV Show: Friends
[Chandler lights a cigarette]
Phoebe: Chandler, what are you doing?
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh, my God!
Joey: You're smoking again?
Chandler: Well, actually yesterday I was smoking again, today I'm smoking still.
Phoebe: Chandler, what are you doing?
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: Oh, my God!
Joey: You're smoking again?
Chandler: Well, actually yesterday I was smoking again, today I'm smoking still.
TV Show: Friends
[Joey has spelled out "pleh" in sticks at the rest stop to get rescued]
Chandler: What's that?
Joey: It's "help" spelled backward so the helicopters in sky'll read it right.
Chandler: What's that?
Joey: It's "help" spelled backward so the helicopters in sky'll read it right.
TV Show: Friends
[Ross has trampled the sticks spelling out "pleh" and Joey started gasping]
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Now it's not gonna make any sense!
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Now it's not gonna make any sense!
TV Show: Friends
Monica: Don't you think he's a little young to get married?
Phoebe: What? He's 18.
Ross: Exactly. It'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah, or — or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal, Joe.
Phoebe: What? He's 18.
Ross: Exactly. It'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah, or — or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal, Joe.
TV Show: Friends
[Joey and Ross are trying to talk Frank Jr. out of marrying his teacher Alice.]
Joey: You're 18, she's 44. When you're 36, she's going to be 88!
Joey: You're 18, she's 44. When you're 36, she's going to be 88!
TV Show: Friends
[Chandler has been listening to an anti-smoking hypnosis tape for women without knowing it's for women, and Joey overheard the tape and inserted his overlaping recording into it to make Chandler stop listening to it]
Joey's Voice On Recording: Joey's your best pal. You want to make him fresh sandwiches everyday. You also want to buy him thousands of dollars in pants.
Joey's Voice On Recording: Joey's your best pal. You want to make him fresh sandwiches everyday. You also want to buy him thousands of dollars in pants.
TV Show: Friends
Ross: [spying on Rachel and Mark through the peephole in Chandler and Joey's door] Here they come, here they come. If she kisses him goodnight, I’m gonna kill myself, I swear. I can’t watch this. Come on! Date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go. She's going in. She’s going in... Wait! He’s going in! He’s going in! The door's closed! I can’t see anything with the door closed!
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.
TV Show: Friends
Chandler: You slept with someone three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower.
TV Show: Friends
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama she thinks she's like, the greatest actress since, since...sliced bread!
Chandler: Ahh, sliced bread. A wonderful Lady Macbeth.
Chandler: Ahh, sliced bread. A wonderful Lady Macbeth.
TV Show: Friends
[Phoebe plays with a toy dinosaur while making barking sounds.]
Ross: Uh, Phoebe, while we're on the subject, dinosaurs don't go "Ruff!"
Phoebe: The little ones do.
Ross: Uh, Phoebe, while we're on the subject, dinosaurs don't go "Ruff!"
Phoebe: The little ones do.
TV Show: Friends
Kate: I don't think you're doing a good job disguising your hate for that...sweater over there.
Joey: It's not the sweater. It's what's underneath the sweater that counts.
Joey: It's not the sweater. It's what's underneath the sweater that counts.
TV Show: Friends
Phoebe: You guys, do you know anything about chicks?
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women?... No.
Chandler: Fowl? No. Women?... No.
TV Show: Friends
(Chandler walks in on Ross and Rachel)
Chandler: Not to be rude, but does anyone know how to get a chick out of a VCR?
Chandler: Not to be rude, but does anyone know how to get a chick out of a VCR?
TV Show: Friends
(Chandler is putting the duck in the hall)
Chandler: Now you just stay out here, and think about what you did!
Chandler: Now you just stay out here, and think about what you did!
TV Show: Friends
[A bedraggled Phoebe misses Joey's play, having spent all night on the phone while kept on hold by customer service.]
Joey: Hey, Pheebs — where were ya?
Phoebe: I'm so, so sorry, Joey. I am definitely going to see your play. I swear, your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play I'm gonna see.
Joey: Hey, Pheebs — where were ya?
Phoebe: I'm so, so sorry, Joey. I am definitely going to see your play. I swear, your play is very important to us. Thank you for your patience. Your play is the next play I'm gonna see.
TV Show: Friends
Tommy: [petting a chick in his hand] Mr. Fuzzy Man, how you doin'? Aww... [The chick poos in his hand.] Ew! Oh, ew! Gross! IDIOT! STUPID LITTLE FUZZY YELLOW CREATURE! Ooh, look at me, I'm so cute, I'm a little chick who's DISGUSTING! God, you're so stupid, how are you not yet extinct?
[The duck, hearing all the commotion, waddles into the kitchen and starts quacking.]
Tommy: Quack quack, quack quack! What are you quacking about? DUMB DONALD DODO!
[Tommy looks up to see the gang in the doorway, staring at him in shock.]
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
[The duck, hearing all the commotion, waddles into the kitchen and starts quacking.]
Tommy: Quack quack, quack quack! What are you quacking about? DUMB DONALD DODO!
[Tommy looks up to see the gang in the doorway, staring at him in shock.]
Chandler: Step away from the duck.
TV Show: Friends
Monica: I gotta go water Pete's plants. You know what? If he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or — ha, ha! — we could go over there and pee on them!
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Or — ha, ha! — we could go over there and pee on them!
TV Show: Friends