Friends with Benefits Quotes
Jamie: Why don't they ever a make a movie about what happens after they kiss?
Dylan: They do, it's called porn.
Dylan: They do, it's called porn.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Tommy: You know what I discovered? It's not who you want to spend Friday night with, it's who you want to spend all day Saturday with. Feel me, Felix?
Dylan: Yeah, but then it's every Saturday for the rest of your life...
Tommy: It's OK, you don't get it. It's no big deal. But you will. One day you'll meet someone and it'll literally take your breath away. Like you can't breathe. Like no oxygen to the lungs. Like a fish...
Dylan: Yeah, I... I get it, Tommy.
Tommy: Yeah, you don't.
Dylan: Yeah, but then it's every Saturday for the rest of your life...
Tommy: It's OK, you don't get it. It's no big deal. But you will. One day you'll meet someone and it'll literally take your breath away. Like you can't breathe. Like no oxygen to the lungs. Like a fish...
Dylan: Yeah, I... I get it, Tommy.
Tommy: Yeah, you don't.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Dylan: Why do women think the only way to get men to do what they want is to manipulate them?
Jamie: History, personal experience, romantic comedies.
Jamie: History, personal experience, romantic comedies.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Jamie: Everybody, this is Dylan. He's from L.A. [Everybody boos him]
Jamie: He's the reason I can afford all this beer! [Everybody cheers him]
Jamie: He's the reason I can afford all this beer! [Everybody cheers him]
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Dylan: Breasts.
Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.
Dylan: They're still breasts.
Jamie: Thank you!
Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.
Dylan: They're still breasts.
Jamie: Thank you!
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Jamie: I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love. [sees posters for The Ugly Truth on a wall]
Jamie: Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!
Jamie: Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Jamie: Why do I get the feeling this is the first real commitment you've ever made?
Dylan: It's not. T-Mobile. Two years. And fuck do I regret that one!
Dylan: It's not. T-Mobile. Two years. And fuck do I regret that one!
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Dylan: I'm supposed to meet up with Jamie.
Tommy: Who's that? That headhunter?
Dylan: Uh-huh.
Tommy: What, you guys going out now?
Dylan: No, no, no, we're just friends. We're... messing around a little bit.
Tommy: What do you mean?
Dylan: Sleeping together. But it's just sex.
Tommy: That never works, bro. She's a girl. Sex always means more to them even if they don't admit it.
Dylan: Jamie's different.
Tommy: Does she have a penis where most girls have a vagina?
Dylan: No penis.
Tommy: Then she's no different.
Tommy: Who's that? That headhunter?
Dylan: Uh-huh.
Tommy: What, you guys going out now?
Dylan: No, no, no, we're just friends. We're... messing around a little bit.
Tommy: What do you mean?
Dylan: Sleeping together. But it's just sex.
Tommy: That never works, bro. She's a girl. Sex always means more to them even if they don't admit it.
Dylan: Jamie's different.
Tommy: Does she have a penis where most girls have a vagina?
Dylan: No penis.
Tommy: Then she's no different.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Jamie: Oh... my butt.
Dylan: What?
Jamie: My butt!
Dylan: Really?
Jamie: No! My butt is cramping. Can you grab a pillow?
Dylan: [puts a pillow in her low back]So... there is not butt?
Jamie: NO.
Dylan: What?
Jamie: My butt!
Dylan: Really?
Jamie: No! My butt is cramping. Can you grab a pillow?
Dylan: [puts a pillow in her low back]So... there is not butt?
Jamie: NO.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Jamie: I have the perfect body for Photoshop. This [face]
Jamie: gets more angular, these [legs]
Jamie: get longer and this [nose]
Jamie: gets way more Christian.
Jamie: gets more angular, these [legs]
Jamie: get longer and this [nose]
Jamie: gets way more Christian.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Dylan: [after he spills coffee on his pants, Dylan is asking another employee for a replacement pair]I'm your boss! Give me your pants!
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Kayla: Maybe you should care a little bit less about work and a little bit more about the girl you're dating because last time I checked work doesn't reassure you that liking a finger up your ass doesn't make you gay.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Dylan: What do you know about women, anyway?
Tommy: Dude, I've turned down more tail than you'll ever have.
Dylan: Yeah, bro - you're gay!
Tommy: But the offers keep rolling in, naturally. Look at me! And hey, I love women. They're beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day. But me likes cock, so I'm strickily-dickily.
Tommy: Dude, I've turned down more tail than you'll ever have.
Dylan: Yeah, bro - you're gay!
Tommy: But the offers keep rolling in, naturally. Look at me! And hey, I love women. They're beautiful, majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures. Smart, empathetic, far superior to men in every way. And if I had a choice, I would be with women to my dying day. But me likes cock, so I'm strickily-dickily.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
[from trailer]Tommy: The babies you two are gonna have. Those things are gonna get *really* big and then *really* small.
Jamie: We're not together.
Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.
Jamie: We're not together.
Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
[Tommy leaps over a wall into the Hudson River, and Dylan finds out... ]Dylan: You have a boat?
Tommy: I live in Jersey. I ain't taking no ferry... Unless it's out to dinner and a show.
Tommy: I live in Jersey. I ain't taking no ferry... Unless it's out to dinner and a show.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Dylan: So, it's always just about sex, then?
Tommy: No... I've been in love. I went down that rabbit hole.
Tommy: No... I've been in love. I went down that rabbit hole.
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Annie Harper: We get it! You're men! You like sports! You're men! You like sports!
Movie: Friends with Benefits
Police officer: This is the LAPD. You are trespassing. Get down from the sign.
Jamie: We gotta jump. [Jamie jumps down from the sign]
Jamie: Dylan, jump!
Dylan: I'm f-frozen!
Police officer: Come on, get down! Sir, this is your last warning.
Jamie: Use the ladder!
Dylan: I have a fear of heights! Also, he-he-helicopters! They don't make sense to me!
Jamie: What do you mean you have a fear of heights? Why would you come up here?
Dylan: You called me a pu-pussy!
Jamie: We gotta jump. [Jamie jumps down from the sign]
Jamie: Dylan, jump!
Dylan: I'm f-frozen!
Police officer: Come on, get down! Sir, this is your last warning.
Jamie: Use the ladder!
Dylan: I have a fear of heights! Also, he-he-helicopters! They don't make sense to me!
Jamie: What do you mean you have a fear of heights? Why would you come up here?
Dylan: You called me a pu-pussy!
Movie: Friends with Benefits