Futurama Quotes
Countess de LaRoca: Bender, you risked your life to save me!
Bender: And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
Bender: And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it.
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I break his legs?
TV Show: Futurama
Guenter: All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit... that's why I'm transferring to business school!
Professor Farnsworth: NOOOOOO!
Professor Farnsworth: NOOOOOO!
TV Show: Futurama
Dean Vernon: You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House! Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House! Whenever a human corpse is desecrated...!
Bender: Now I can explain that!
Bender: Now I can explain that!
TV Show: Futurama
Zapp Brannigan: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp Brannigan: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
TV Show: Futurama
Zapp Brannigan: The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
TV Show: Futurama
[Bender feels sick]
Amy Wong: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc.
Bender: I'm 40% zinc!
Amy Wong: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort.
Professor Farnsworth: Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap!
Amy Wong: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc.
Bender: I'm 40% zinc!
Amy Wong: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort.
Professor Farnsworth: Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap!
TV Show: Futurama
Glermo: You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie!
Fry: When will that be?
Glermo: Soon enough.
Fry: That's not soon enough!
Fry: When will that be?
Glermo: Soon enough.
Fry: That's not soon enough!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
Dwayne: Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!
Leela: No. We're on the top.
Fry: Daylight and everything.
Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
Bender: Meh.
Dwayne: Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you!
Leela: No. We're on the top.
Fry: Daylight and everything.
Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
Bender: Meh.
TV Show: Futurama
Zapp Brannigan: Throw her in the brig.
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
[Later]
Kif: What shall I do with your civilian clothes?
Zapp Brannigan: Take them to the laundry-brig!
Fry: We don't have a brig.
Zapp Brannigan: Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig".
[Later]
Kif: What shall I do with your civilian clothes?
Zapp Brannigan: Take them to the laundry-brig!
TV Show: Futurama
Zapp Brannigan: Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you.
Zapp Brannigan: I meant physically. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
Leela: You don't know how to do any of those.
Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
Leela: I never loved you.
Zapp Brannigan: I meant physically. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
Leela: You don't know how to do any of those.
Zapp Brannigan: Kif might!
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree.
Professor Farnsworth: But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
Professor Farnsworth: But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver.
TV Show: Futurama
Morbo: Morbo will now introduce tonight's candidates... PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon.
Richard Nixon's Head: Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Richard Nixon's Head: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
Richard Nixon's Head: Hello Morbo, how's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Richard Nixon's Head: Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
TV Show: Futurama
Zoidberg: You, a bobsledder? That I'd like to see!
Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab! 1,000 years ago, there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsleders.
Fry: Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.
Hermes: Listen, you filthy crab! 1,000 years ago, there was a legendary team of Jamaican bobsleders.
Fry: Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages.
Hermes: A true inspiration for the children.
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd.
TV Show: Futurama
Dr. Zoidberg: Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?
Fry: Fatal.
Dr. Zoidberg: [hands Bender a wad of dollar bills] Large bet on myself in round one.
Fry: Fatal.
Dr. Zoidberg: [hands Bender a wad of dollar bills] Large bet on myself in round one.
TV Show: Futurama
[Dr. Zoidberg is attempting to woo Edna, with help from Fry.]
Fry: Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
Dr. Zoidberg: [to Edna] I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. [to Fry] Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But okay.
Fry: Tell her she looks thin.
Dr. Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?
Edna: Why yes! Thanks for noticing.
Dr. Zoidberg: [to Fry] Now what?
Fry: Ask her how her day was.
Dr. Zoidberg: Why would I want to know that?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway!
Fry: Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.
Dr. Zoidberg: [to Edna] I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. [to Fry] Fry, that doesn't make sense.
Edna: Dr. Zoidberg, that doesn't make sense. But okay.
Fry: Tell her she looks thin.
Dr. Zoidberg: You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?
Edna: Why yes! Thanks for noticing.
Dr. Zoidberg: [to Fry] Now what?
Fry: Ask her how her day was.
Dr. Zoidberg: Why would I want to know that?
Fry: You wouldn't. Ask anyway!
TV Show: Futurama
Voice on T.V.: Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient?
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
Bender: Shut up and get to the point!
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry?
Amy: I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
Amy: Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."
Amy: I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
Fry: I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
Amy: Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."
TV Show: Futurama
George Foreman: As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.
Rich Little: No argument here.
Rich Little: No argument here.
TV Show: Futurama
[Bender is disguised as a sexy nurse, talking to a chat room participant.]
Bender: Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.
Chat room participant: Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most.
[He hands Bender the money.]
Bender: So, how 'bout them Knicks?
Bender: Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute.
Chat room participant: Oh, you're a dollar naughtier than most.
[He hands Bender the money.]
Bender: So, how 'bout them Knicks?
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?
Bender: [sarcastically] Is the Space Pope reptilian!?
Bender: [sarcastically] Is the Space Pope reptilian!?
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Nothing is impossible! Not if you believe in it. That's what being a scientist is all about!
Cubert Farnsworth: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about!
Cubert Farnsworth: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: [being escorted away by a Sunset Squad robot] Goodbye, cruel world! Goodbye, cruel lamp! Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. [the robot groans] Cruel though they may be, I-- [the rather fed-up robot abruptly picks up Farnsworth and carries him away.]
TV Show: Futurama