Futurama Quotes
Fry: You can see how I lived before I met you.
Bender: You lived before you met me?!
Fry: Yeah, lots of people did.
Bender: Really?!
Bender: You lived before you met me?!
Fry: Yeah, lots of people did.
Bender: Really?!
TV Show: Futurama
Al Gore: My fellow Earthicans, as I discuss in my book "Earth in the Balance," and the much more popular "Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth," we need to defend our planet against pollution. As well as dark wizards.
Dark Wizard in the Audience: Sure, blame the wizards!
Dark Wizard in the Audience: Sure, blame the wizards!
TV Show: Futurama
Linda: I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!
Morbo: WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOODNIGHT!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now I have to pay them!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop.
Nibbler: Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.
Nibbler: Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers.
TV Show: Futurama
Nibblonian: You are the last hope of the universe.
Fry: So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibblonian: Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
Fry: So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibblonian: Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
TV Show: Futurama
Leonard Nimoy: Melllvar, you have to respect your actors. When I directed Star Trek IV, I got a magnificent performance out of Bill because I respected him so much.
William Shatner: And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much.
William Shatner: And when I directed Star Trek V, I got a magnificent performance out of me because I respected me so much.
TV Show: Futurama
Walter Koenig: When we woke up, we had these bodies.
Fry: Say it in Russian!
Walter Koenig: [sigh] Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.
Fry: Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"!
Walter Koenig: No!
Fry: Say it in Russian!
Walter Koenig: [sigh] Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.
Fry: Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"!
Walter Koenig: No!
TV Show: Futurama
Father Changstein-El-Gamal: I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
Hermes: Soothe us with sweet lies.
Father Changstein: It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.
Hermes: Soothe us with sweet lies.
Father Changstein: It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: Professor, make a woman out of me.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I think we should just stay friends.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I think we should just stay friends.
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: You've fallen into the final debilitating stages of womanhood.
TV Show: Futurama
Bender: I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in.
TV Show: Futurama
[The Planet Express crew is trapped under the ship, surrounded by a ring of burning fuel.]
Hermes: Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! [pause] Also, we're dying!
Bender: Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg!
Hermes: Bender, hurry! This fuel's expensive! [pause] Also, we're dying!
Bender: Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg!
TV Show: Futurama
Professor Farnsworth: Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.
TV Show: Futurama
[Morbo's wife is adjusting his tie.]
Morbo: Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will destroy you!
Morbo: Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will destroy you!
TV Show: Futurama
Porno-dealing Lizard: I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.
Everyone else: Eew!
Porno-dealing Lizard: Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?
Everyone else: Eew!
Porno-dealing Lizard: Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?
TV Show: Futurama
Ndnd: For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs!
Lrrr: She also liked to shut up!
Lrrr: She also liked to shut up!
TV Show: Futurama
Robot Devil: This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
Bender: Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
Bender: That's not irony! it's just a coincidence!
Bender: Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
Bender: That's not irony! it's just a coincidence!
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Fetal stem cells? Aren't those controversial?
Professor Farnsworth: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
Professor Farnsworth: In your time, yes, but nowadays—shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stem cells.
TV Show: Futurama
Fry: Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?
Bender: I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
Bender: I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
TV Show: Futurama
Zoidberg: Who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?
TV Show: Futurama