Gin Tama Quotes

Soyohime: It's okay, Ms. Queen. I'll just go back home now.
Kagura: What? Didn't you say you wanted to be free? Well let me help you be free!
Soyohime: Sure, I want to be free, but... I'd just be causing you trouble if we kept this up...
Kagura: That ain't no trouble at all! After all, we promised each other to be friends for a day! You don't need to have a reason to help a friend out, that's what we Edo girls do! I still have so many cool things to show you!
Soyohime: ...Yes. We are friends. But...
Kagura: Huh?
Soyohime: ...That's exactly why I can't cause you any more trouble. Thank you very much, Ms. Queen. It was just for half a day, but you made me feel like an average girl. It was wonderful. [bows] Well, I'll be going.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Kagura: Wait! That's not fair! How can you break a promise just like that? I still want to play around with you! I want us to get to know each other! It's not fair!
Soyohime: Yes, I know. I'm that selfish. So please, let me be selfish just one more time. Even though it was just one day, we'll always be friends.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Shinpachi: [watching TV with Gintoki] So the princess likes to eat sukonbu, eh.
Gintoki: What are you, stupid? That's a big fat lie! She's just acting like ordinary people to make us think royals can be lovable! I bet when she gets back to the palace, she chows down on tons of sushi! Now, take a look at a real sukonbu girl. [turns towards Kagura, who is sleeping] You can see how poor she is just by looking at the way she sleeps! That's reality for you.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: [wearing a pink apron] Afternoon…it’s Cooking Today…
Otae: Today’s menu is omu rice! It’s popular with the oldest grandmothers and the youngest children! Right, sensei?
Gintoki: I hate children. Besides, why do I have to cook for other people anyway?
Otae: [pointing a knife at Gintoki] Let’s skip the extra talking, and get with the cooking, sensei.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Otae: Let’s begin with the chicken rice. Sensei, where do we start?
Gintoki: Kagura, cut the vegetables. Slice them into small pieces.
Kagura: Got it! [slices the onion, and table, into pieces with her hands]
Shinpachi: Hey! Now what will we do?
Kagura: I definitely sliced it into small pieces.
Gintoki: You’re supposed to cut vegetables this way. Oi! [throws an onion in the air and dices it with his bokuto] Yep, that’s how it’s done.
Shinpachi: Hey! No way can people cut onions with a bokuto!
Gintoki: It’s all in the mind! The mind! Not just cutting onions—you can do anything with the mind!

TV Show: Gin Tama
Otae: Um, sensei, since the show started, you’ve just thrown in ingredients. Aren’t you going to explain what you’re doing?
Gintoki: It’s all right. Don’t worry. All these should be easy to do.
Otae: But we’re running a cooking show, after all. It’s pretty abnormal not to explain clearly what’s happening…
Gintoki: Well, when men cook, it’s always like this. If you just follow what I do, then…[sudden cut to a finished dish]
Otae: The dish is finally ready.
Shinpachi: When did you add the noodles??

TV Show: Gin Tama
Otae: It seems like the base is ready. The rice should also…[pan to Kagura eating the rice out of the rice cooker]
Shinpachi: Hey!! The dish isn’t done! You’re not supposed to eat the rice yet!
Kagura: Can I have another helping?
Shinpachi: This is such a disaster…

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Oi, oi, What did you do? We don’t have anymore rice here now…
Otae: I thought something like this would happen, so I’ve already prepared the completed dish.
Shinpachi: It can’t be…
Gintoki: It’s not some burnt eggs, is it? [They open the box to a disembodied scream. There are charred eggs inside.] I knew it…
Kagura: Do we really have to eat this?

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki as Ginpachi Sensei: Well, all the good kids out there, light up your rooms... And stay in school, unless you wanna grow up to become bums like me. That's it.

TV Show: Gin Tama
[Gintoki is trying to pull Sadaharu by its leash, fruitlessly]
Gintoki: Bad dog, you can't poop there [in the middle of the street]! Your shit's bigger than kids' dreams! Dammit, that's why I didn't wanna walk you! And she [Kagura] said she'd look after you! In the end, it's the mother who's supposed to look after the dog! Hey... So I'm the mother?

TV Show: Gin Tama
Katsura: If you can't even make a single animal obey you, how are you supposed to protect your country? You dare call yourself a samurai like that?

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Zura... What the hell's that? That's unpleasant!
Katsura: It's not unpleasant; it's Elizabeth.
Gintoki: Maybe it doesn't look bad by itself, but being next to you makes it unpleasant! I mean, it's you who's unpleasant.

TV Show: Gin Tama
Gintoki: Well yeah, I think the years have softened him [Katsura]. I wonder if he'd like to take this one [Sadaharu, that is chewing on Gintoki's head] too? We don't need anything from which we can't profit. This thing only gives us shit and pain.
Kagura: Aren't you being a bit unfair to Sadaharu? Keep crushing his skull, Sadaharu. [Sadaharu bites harder on Gintoki until he starts bleeding.]
Gintoki: Wait, wait, wait, wait! Got it, got it! Shit and pain, plus piss!
Kagura: Well, it's okay, Sadaharu. Let him go. [Sadaharu glomps Gintoki's head]
Shinpachi: It's NOT okay! You didn't add anything positive!

TV Show: Gin Tama
Otose: One week?
Gintoki: Yeah, I'll be sure to pay you within the next week, interests included.
Kagura: And I've promoted myself for that! I'll be able to eat as much sukonbu as I want!
Shinpachi: You've got such narrow goals...

TV Show: Gin Tama
[Kagura and Catherine are locked in a catfight.]
Kagura: You may steal whatever you want, but keep your hands off my things, you cat-eared two-timer!
Catherine: If you can't look after your stuff, then stop acting so tough, you brat!
Kagura: Just you try it, fox-eared dumbass! I hope a car runs you over!
Catherine: Who's gets run over by a car these days, you little bitch?!
Kagura: Say what?!

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[Sadaharu is sitting on top of Gintoki and Shinpachi.]
Gintoki: Uh, couldn't you finish this in a more delicate way?
Shinpachi: It's like we're putting our lives on the line with every blow.

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Katsura: So, you decided to heed my advice and train Sadaharu?
Gintoki: Don't be stupid! Why would I change my mind just by listening to you?
Kagura: We're gonna take Sadaharu here to TV!
Katsura: TV?
Gintoki: That's why we're training! Not that it would matter to you, anyway-- WAAARGH! [Sadaharu stomps on Gintoki and Shinpachi's groins with its hind feet.]
Kagura: Yeah, great! Hit 'em where it hurts, Sadaharu!

TV Show: Gin Tama
TV Announcer: Uh, that thing chewing on your head... is it Sadaharu? Is he fine?
Gintoki: Yeah, no prob. Sadaharu's pretty smart, he knows just how much I can take.
TV Announcer: But you seem to be bleeding...

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Shinpachi: Geez, can't you take this any more seriously? Keep it up, and we won't make it to the finals!
Gintoki: [bleeding, with his head bitten on by Sadaharu] Really? But the judges are staring so much at my beautiful face...
Shinpachi: Of course they are! Take a look in a mirror!

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[The Yorozuya crew sees Katsura enter the stage dressed in his Space Captain outfit, accompanied by Elizabeth.]
Gintoki: What the crap does that guy think he's doing? Even being in the most wanted list, he dares to show up on TV in disguise.
Shinpachi: I think he really loves his pet.
Kagura: Not just the pet; I think he loves to play dress-up.

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TV Announcer: So, Katsura-san, what do you mean with "Space Captain"?
Katsura: Well, it means that I'm a captain from space.

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[Elizabeth has painted a Picasso-like portrait of Katsura.]
TV Announcer: It's such a magnificent piece of art! Looks just like it was painted by a human!
Katsura: [grabbing the announcer by the collar] Please. That comparison is an offense to Elizabeth's talent.

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[at the second part of the pet competition]
TV Announcer: By the way, the winner will get 30,000 points, so give it your best!
Katsura: Hey, Mr. Announcer! Then what was the first part of the competition for?
TV Announcer: Well, that was just to make the show more entertaining...
Katsura: There's no need for that kind of thing! I demand you change the rules immediately!
Gintoki: Hey Zura, stop bothering the announcer with your demands. If you got any beef with this, then just go home.

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Kondo: [dramatically] Oh no! My famous Kotetsu sword is broken! That cannot be!!! Toushi... My Kotetsu... Impossible!
Hijikata: Shut up! This is no time to talk about it!
Kondo: But I'm still paying its benefits... It can't be!

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[a close shot of Elizabeth running shows a man-like leg underneath an apparent costume.]
TV Announcer: Eh... Am I seeing things? It seems like I caught a glimpse of a geezer's leg for a while... [the camera is showing Elizabeth's feet in slowmotion. The human leg is shown again] Ah! I saw it again! Take a look!
Katsura: [holding his sword against the announcer's throat] Stop talking nonsense. Elizabeth's been working real hard for today. Don't you dare say she looks like a geezer.

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[Gintoki, Katsura and Sadaharu are piled on top of Elizabeth, preventing her to reach for the bone. Gintoki is pressing his bokuto against Elizabeth's neck, Katsura has Gintoki in a chokehold, and Sadaharu is biting on Katsura's head.]
Male voice: Ahhh, I'm getting tired of this... What a pain in the ass...
[Everyone stops fighting, and reels back in panic upon realizing the voice comes from Elizabeth.]
"Elizabeth": I wanna go home. Could you guys please get off my back?

TV Show: Gin Tama
Hasegawa: You may still be young, kiddo, but remember to think about the consequences before you do anything. Life's pretty long, you know.
Kagura: I don't want no advice from a loser like you. [starts to leave] See ya, good-for-nothing old fart [maru de dame na ossan]. Or madao, to shorten it. C'mon, Sadaharu.
[Sadaharu pounces on Kagura, but she kicks him away.]

TV Show: Gin Tama
[a man in the waiting room for a job interview lights his cigarette and accidentally sets his hair on fire.]
Hasegawa: Hey, hey! You're burning, you're burning!
Guy: Yeah. The desire for responsibility is burning inside of me.
Hasegawa: That's not it! Your head is in flames!
Guy: Oh? Eh... [notices the fire] Aaaaahhh! [spins around in panic] What'll I do?! What'll I do?!
Office worker: Mr. Shoji Gindo? It's time for your interview-- [sudden deep voice] He's on fire!
Guy: [standing straight, nervously] I promise to put my burning passion in my work for this company starting now!!
Office worker: You're not employed yet!!! [splashes the man with water]

TV Show: Gin Tama
[Hasegawa has recognized an old working partner in his job interview.]
Hasegawa: Well, well, since you work for this company, I suppose I can get relieved. So, for old times' sake, wouldn't you have some nice job there? [gets stomped on the head]
Onishi: Is that for real??
Hasegawa: Wh-what? Onishi-kun!
Onishi: Damn you, Hasegawa! Am I supposed to deal with you like you used to deal with me? [flashbacks show Hasegawa beating Onishi up]
Hasegawa: No... That-those were superior orders--
Onishi: Shut the fuck up! If you wanna work here, you should take me as a role model and lose the beard, dickhead!
Hasegawa: My-my beard?!
Onishi: And while you're at it, take off those shades too!
Hasegawa: No! Leave the shades alone!
Onishi: So you want a job, but you don't wanna sacrifice yourself for it? I get it. You're really the old-timer kind [maji de dassai oyaji] - in short, a madao.
[Hasegawa gets angry and beats Onishi up.]

TV Show: Gin Tama
[Hasegawa remembers other job interviews he had later.]
Interviewer 1: Can't you do anything about that hairdo and the shades? They make you seem like an old guy with a taste for old stuff [massa ni datsuou na oji-san], in other words, a madao.
Interviewer 2: Your breath's bad and the shades are a bit... Gee, they make you seem like a depraved old fart [mattaku, darakushite ossan], or a madao, if we abbreviate.
Hasegawa: Wherever I went, it was "madao" this, "madao" that. [he then remembers being at a soba stand]
Customer: Hey, old guy? What the hell's with this horrible bean soup [mazui dashi to oage]? Or madao for short?
Hasegawa: Shut it!!! [Hasegawa knocks the man out.] What the hell's wrong with being a madao?!

TV Show: Gin Tama