Gin Tama Quotes

[after everyone causes a ruckus which makes the car on which they were riding crash]
Gintoki: Dammit, what an useless car.
Kagura: Damn right. To think it couldn't even play a cassette! Useless! Useless!
Shinpachi: I don't think that was the problem.

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Otae: Good God, after all the work I had to get us a ride, you had to go and mess it all up...
Gintoki: She talks as if she had stopped that car all by herself.

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[Shinpachi tries to drink water from a barrel hanging on Sadaharu's leash, but the cork is closed with barbed wire]
Shinpachi: Wh-what is this?
Kagura: Oh! I heard that non-boiled water is poison for the body.
[Shinpachi tries to claw at the cork, then despairs and stays kneeling on the ground in defeat, under a monochromatic spotlight]
Shinpachi: W-water, please...
Gintoki: Are you pretending to be a defeated boxer? 'Cause if you are, it's not funny when you do it here. Different from saying that you're feeling hot when it's hot, it's pointless to do that, you know?

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Gintoki: [to the beach vendor who offered the reward on the sea monster] So you said that jokingly, while you were drunk? Look, old man, this is about my living. I'm very serious when it comes to that. A man should be responsible, even when joking. A man should keep his promises.
Beach vendor: Wait! Calm down! I'll pay! I've got the money here!
[Kagura picks up some yakisoba from the grill and eats them]
Kagura: Don't lie. If you can't fry your yakisoba properly, then you might not have enough money to pay us. Your life must be pretty messed up, uh? Say it with me: "messed up"! [eats another handful of yakisoba] Yeah, messed up!
Beach vendor: Hey! Who told you to eat my merchandise?

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Hasegawa: In a deserted beach, with a monster and three "beach samurai" on it... [sits up] If we can't protect the sea, then who can? When you're feeling down, how do you do to feel better? You can say there's two kinds of things men do to feel better: [takes a smoke from his cigarette. Gintoki and Shinpachi stare, uninterested] One is looking at someone who's feeling worse to make sure he's alright. The other is looking at something much bigger to see his problems are meaningless. I belong to the second kind. [flashback] Whenever I find myself in hard times, I look at the sea to remember how meaningless I am. [another flashback, Hasegawa is pissing from a cliff over the sea as a woman looks on in embarrassment] It was also looking at the sea that I met my wife, Hatsu. Do you understand? The sea is both book and teacher to me. Everybody has a place closer to their hearts. Even if I keep changing jobs, my heart will stay here. Work is just a little something that helps me live through the days. But it's got nothing to do with money. That's what I was born for. Can you guys understand this feeling?
[no response. He turns around and sees everyone else is ignoring him.]
Shinpachi: Is that true, sister?
Otae: Yes, I talked to the city officers, and they said they will reward us if we can get rid of the alien.
Hasegawa: Hey, are you listening to--
Gintoki: Well then, let's just do that.
Hasegawa: Hey, how about my feel--
Gintoki: Okay, let's go.

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Beach vendor: [crucified in the middle of the sea] Let me go! My legs are getting soaked here! I'm getting all wrinkled here! Please don't do it!
Gintoki: [bored] The bait isn't working.
Shinpachi: [bored] Maybe it's not even in this sea anymore. [yawns]

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Hasegawa: Hey miss, you understand my feelings, don't you?
Otae: [unwrapping her obento] Yes, I do.
Hasegawa: Ah. Thanks, mis-- [Otae offers him the obento, containing unrecognizable piles of ashes]
Otae: If you feel like, pick one for yourself. I made these fried eggs this morning.
Hasegawa: Eh? Uh... Well...
Otae: I'm sure you can't do anything on an empty stomach.
[Hasegawa picks one up and eats it. He turns blue from the taste]
Otae: Don't you want to get the other one?
Hasegawa: Eh... Uh... No thanks, I'm full.

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Kagura: [carrying a large boulder] Oh boy, can they swim.
Hasegawa: Hey girl, what are you gonna do? Where'd you get that?
Kagura: [straight-faced] Instead of watching others being happy, I'd much rather destroy them.

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Hasegawa: [after he sees the sea monster coming] Hey guys, run away! It's a double punch! Two dangerous things are going your way!
Gintoki: What's he saying?
Shinpachi: "Double pants"? I wonder if he forgot to bring an extra pair of pants? (in Japanese, daburu pantsu - "double panties")

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Gintoki: I can't swim fast enough!!! [Shinpachi swims past him] Hey! Hold on, Shinpachi! [grabbing on to the strap of Shinpachi's swimming goggles] How can you swim so well? that's so unlike you! Weren't you supposed to be the guy who falls for everything but traps? Huh?!
Shinpachi: Owowowowowow! My eyes are bulging out! My eyes are bulging out!!!

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[Kagura tries throwing the boulder to hit the monster, but ends up hitting Gintoki and Shinpachi in the sea instead.]
Kagura: I missed.

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Hasegawa: So that's how it was. Well, maybe it was its love for the sea that influenced it.
Gintoki: Men don't need to speak the same language. They can communicate on a spiritual level.
Hasegawa: Even though it looked ugly, on the inside it wasn't. It just wanted to play, I guess. I'm sure of this: every creature of the sea is good. [stands up and starts leaving] When we live close to the sea, the dirt that covers us all is washed away.
Gintoki: Dirt, eh? Somehow, this still looks pretty dirty. [cut to the newspaper Gintoki is reading. There is a story on it about the sea monster playing with kids]. Hmph. So what? [throws the newspaper away]

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[after the end credits and preview]
Gintoki: Maybe I should wear a different kimono someday...

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[At a factory producing Justaways, Yamazaki is told Gintoki has amnesia]
Gintoki: That is the case, so excuse me. You seem to be someone I used to know, but I don't remember. Uh, Shinsengumi's... what was it? Should I call you Shin-chan maybe?
Yamazaki: [hits Gintoki on the head] Hey! I said it was a secret operation, didn't I?! Ah, I said it! [drags Gintoki off to the side]
Gintoki: What is it, you? Bang bang banging on people's heads like that. Are you hoping to become a tambourine player? If you don't like Shin-chan, then how about Sen-chan from secret operation?
Yamazaki: Are you harassing me? Am I not telling you that it's Yamazaki?
Gintoki: Oh, I don't remember, so I will go with Tanbara.
Yamazaki: It's not that you don't remember, it's that you don't want to remember, isn't it!!

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Yamazaki: Master, I'm withdrawing from here now. It looks like our commander has gone missing.
Gintoki: Jimmy, are you going to lose heart that quickly? Nobody can do that well at first. You can do anything you put your mind into!
Yamazaki: Who the heck is Jimmy?! Is it possible that you're getting that from "jimi" (plain)? Besides, I only came here as a spy!

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[Yamazaki warns Gintoki that the factory boss, Mamushi, is suspected of illegally producing weapons for the Joui.]
Gintoki: The boss is an ero list? Stop making false accusations! The boss is the one who took me in, he saved me!
Yamazaki: I don't really understand what you're saying... "Ero"? "List"?

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Kondo: Sakata-san. We're gonna start working again.
Yamazaki: Ah, oops. Well then, time for me to... [turns to leave]
Kondo: Sakata-san, will you take a look at my Justaway?
Yamazaki: [turns back and sees Kondo and Gintoki]
Kondo: So what do you think of it?
Gintoki: Hm... maybe you could raise this part just a little bit, Gori-san.
Yamazaki: [Gives Kondo a punch] What the hell are you saying?!
Gintoki: Gori-san!
Yamazaki: [on the phone] Hello? I have found the idiot. Yes, I'll bring him back right away.
Gintoki: Gori-san, wake up! Jimmy, what was that for? Gori-san, you know, is the same as me, he lost his memory. If you don't treat his head gently he'll lose consciousness right away! He's as delicate as a Nintendo!
Yamazaki: [crushes his phone in shock] Amnesia?! Are you serious, Commander?! Even though you're an idiot, what sort of crazy situation have you gotten yourself into?! Even though you're an idiot!
Gintoki: That's too much, Jimmy! Idiots in their idiotic way have their own idiotic worries!
Yamazaki: Enough! This is pathetic, this is a pain in the ass, you guys! Anyway, we'll go back together, Commander!
Kondo: [with tears in his eyes] Stop it! I've decided to become the number one Justaway craftsman in Edo! It doesn't matter what happens, I'll become number one, I promised the boss I would!
Yamazaki: In that case, don't worry, you're the world's number one idiot. Now come on!
Kondo: I don't wanna, I don't wanna!
[A Justaway flies into the air by accident and explodes upon landing]

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Kondo: The Justaways are not at fault! The one at fault is the boss, the Justaways haven't done anything wrong!

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[Gintoki throws a huge barrel onto an advancing Mamushi, and Kondo throws a Justaway onto it to detonate it]
Yamazaki: Hey! Didn't you guys say you weren't gonna fight him?! You went all out just now, didn't you!
Gintoki: Did we say something like that, Gori-san?
Kondo: It's no good, I can't remember. I have amnesia so...
Yamazaki: That's some convenient amnesia there, oi!

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[A piece of flying debris from the explosion hits Hijikata on the head and he starts bleeding]
Okita: [to the crowd] It's dangerous, so please stand back. You'll end up like this person. He puts on a poker face, but it really really hurts. It's embarassing.
Hijikata: This has really turned into something, hasn't it?
Okita: Your face is really turning into something too, Hijikata-san.
Hijikata: Didn't Yamazaki already die by now?
Okita: Aren't you going to die, too?

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Shinsengumi member: Vice-captain!
Hijikata: Huh?
Shinsengumi member: Some information was just reported. It seems both Yamazaki and the Commander are inside.
Hijikata: What are you saying? Oi, oi, I thought that if it was only Yamazaki inside, I could leave him, but if Kondo-san's there too, we can't do that.
Okita: Hijikata-san. I forgot my flute at the headquarters, so I'm gonna go back and get it real quick.
Hijikata: Right, be sure not to come back again. Damn, I'm sick of you guys, it's enough! I'll go alone, so wait there, you bastards.
Shinsengumi member: Hey! Look at that! Something has come out!
Shinsengumi member: What's that?!
Shinsengumi member: It's a cannon! A big ass cannon has come out!
Shinsengumi member: I-Is that the secret weapon they were working on?!
Hijikata: Sougo, I forgot the protractor at the headquarters, so I'm gonna go back and get it real quick.
Okita: Hijikata-san, it's ok. If you want a protractor, I have one right here.

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[Okita counting Hijikata corspes in place of sheep]
Okita: 987 Hijikata corpses ,988 hijikata corpses , 989 hijikata corspes...
Hijikata: (getting ready to kill him)I'm going to kill you for counting corpses of me! Why don't you count sheep? Huh?
Okita: Oh hello number 990 you came to wake me up? I didn't get any sleep at all Hijikata.

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[At a soba restaurant, Mitsuba fills her bowl of soba with red pepper]
Kondo: Ah, wait, Mitsuba-dono! You shouldn't put so much red pepper! How many times do I have to tell you that it's bad for you?!
Mitsuba: But it tastes so much better!
Kondo: That's not the point! It's definitely bad for your health! It's completely red! Really, there's something wrong with the younger generation's sense of taste. Don't you agree, Toushi?
[Hijikata fills his bowl of soba with mayonnaise.]
Kondo: TOUSHI!! What are you doing?! What's that?! What are you eating?!
Hijikata: This is a flavor IT revolution.
Kondo: What are you saying?! What's that?! Who are you mimicking?!
Kondo: Hey, wait! Mitsuba-dono, don't eat that!
Mitsuba: I want to bring down public health insurance with what I eat!
Kondo: Eh? I don't get it! What is that anyway?!
Hijikata: Inside your mouth, it's rat-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta, wonderful.
Kondo: Now who is it?! Hiroko? Masami?! Either way, it's disgusting!
Mitsuba: [giggles]

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[A group of samurai have surrounded Gintoki with their swords drawn]

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Samurai: Now, fair and square.
Gintoki: Heh. Fair? [puts hand on his sword] Don’t make me laugh. [runs away]
Samurai: Bah! He’s running! He turned tail and ran! After him!
Gintoki: [while running] In this modern age, sword fighting isn’t the thing to do, you know. [climbs over the wall] Sorry, but there’s something I want to watch on TV at four.

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Shinpachi: Gin-san! S-save me!
Gintoki: Oi, oi, why are you letting them chase you, idiot?
Shinpachi: I’m not letting them chase me!

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Samurai: We finally cornered you!
Gintoki: What are you talking about? We LET you corner us.
Kagura: Be thankful!
Samurai: What the hell? Are you being a sore loser? Do you think we’re idiots? You led us all around town.

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[The “Bad Guys” are meeting and discussing their fiendish plan]
Kariya: Yo!
Shikei/Buu: Yo!
Kariya: I can’t hear you. One more time. Yo!
Shikei/Buu: Yo!
Kariya: You’re still not loud enough. Wanna do it again?
Ronin: No, we haven’t much time.
Kariya: I see.

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Kariya: How is that matter proceeding?
Buu: Yes, it’s going very well. Please take a look at this proposal. [hands him a thick stack of paper]
Kariya: [reading] “The first party, henceforth referred to as ‘the planners,’ shall hereby requisition”…I don’t know what the hell this means! Is this some kind of legal bullshit?

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[While Hijikata’s back is turned, Okita aims a bazooka at him]
Okita: Goodbye, vice captain. Why don’t you suck on some mayonnaise in the afterlife? [he shoots, blowing up the whole wall]
Hijikata: [straightening up from being bent down] Oi Sougo, just what do you think you’re doing? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?
Okita: Oh, no. It was just a joke. A joke! I’m always doing it, aren’t I?
Hijikata: You’re always trying to kill me?

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