Gin Tama Quotes

[Shinpachi has come out of the kitchen]
Shinpachi: Gin-san, this isn’t looking good.
Gintoki: Yeah, I know. It’s not good to be reading Jump at my age.
Kagura: That’s true, the onigiri you roll taste terrible.
Shinpachi: I don’t mean either of those! I’m talking about this!
Gintoki: Our checkbook?
Kagura: Ha! Don’t make fun of me. You can’t eat a thing like that!

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Gintoki: What are you, some tantrum throwing brat who forgot to buy his Jump? Having no money is like having a sinus infection. You just have to ignore it and not pick at it, and it’ll go away.

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Gintoki: That’s….
Kagura: a sinus infection?
Shinpachi: It’s an earthquake, dummy!

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Gintoki: The earth’s rowdier than a group of five high school guys living under the same roof.
Kagura: That’s just not normal is it?
Gintoki: Well, it happens in Jump.

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Otose: What’s with this girl? She’s already eaten five bowls!
Shinpachi: Five, eh? She’s still got a long way to go.
Gintoki: We’ve got nothing left at home but salt and sugar.

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[Someone rings the doorbell, Shinpachi opens the door]
Shinpachi: Right, right, I'm coming. We already have a newspaper...
Client: I heard this is the place that will do anything you ask.
Shinpachi: [lightning flashes in the background] BA!!
Kagura: Shinpachi, what are you doing? If you don't hurry, my show's gonna start.
Client: I heard that you were the Yorozuya.
Kagura: [lightning flashes in background] KA!!
Gintoki: Jesus, man, is he really being so forceful? If he's not backing off, just say you'll kick his ass and-
Client: This is the Yorozuya, isn't it?
Gintoki: [lightning flashes in background] NA!!
[Even more lightning flashes in the background]
Shinpachi: BA!
Kagura: KA!
Gintoki: NA!

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Ayame: I see. So the money wasn’t a dowry for us, Gin-san.
Gintoki: Why would I love you? You can’t even have a lover in your profession.
Ayame: Cold as usual, I see. But I won’t give up even after such a warning.
Gintoki: Hey, what’s that natto for, anyway? If you intend to seduce me with it, you’re way off base, you know.
Ayame: Do you think that pushing me away is going to make me happy?
Gintoki: Just do something about it, Natto woman!
Ayame: [falls to the ground, spilling the natto on Gintoki’s head] That’s right. That’s what I want. It’s my passion. It’s what turns me on!
Shinpachi: What’s with this? It stinks.
Kagura: The natto smell turns her on?

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[After the client asks Shinpachi, Kagura and Ayame to get him stronger]
Gintoki: Well, whatever. At any rate, raise his hit points another hundred or so.

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[At the Shinsengumi headquarters]
Kondo: Oh, so this is the blueprint.
Narrator: Kondo Isao. He’s the terrifying captain of the Shinsengumi.
Kondo: By the way, Hijikata, I don’t understand a bit of it.
Hijikata: I’ve been talking for ten minutes about how it’s a blueprint for an Amanto machine, Kondo-san.
Kondo: Oh yes, that’s right. Some kind of machine, is it?
Hijikata: So there’s someone here in Edo who wants to use that device to power some evil machination.
Kondo: [gasps] But wait…[dramatic pause] What’s an evil machination?

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[Katsura sees Gintoki]
Katsura: Gintoki.
Gintoki: Zura!
Katsura: It’s not Zura. It’s Katsura.

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Katsura: What are you doing here?
Gintoki: Well, I suppose I’m doing something odd, like jogging or taking a walk or something like that.
Katsura: That’s fine then.

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Gintoki: See you, Zura.
Katsura: It’s not Zura. It’s Katsura.

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[Gintoki meets a samurai wearing a hat that covers his eyes]
Gintoki: Why are you hiding your eyes like that? Have you been up all night playing tetris?

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[The client is undergoing strength training from Ayame]
Ayame: You have quite a bit of potential.
'[Shinpachi is tied up, hanging from a tree, and the rope is held by the client]
Shinpachi: What kind of training is this? What kind of potential does he have?
Ayame: He could be an S&M queen.
Shinpachi: He’s a guy, isn’t he? Anyway, there are more pressing issues at hand!
Kagura: Oh, you’re taking it pretty well. I’ll have to reward you later.
Shinpachi: Just untie me!

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[After avoiding being cut by a sword, Gintoki’s kimono is cut.]
Gintoki: You ruined my best suit! My mom’s gonna have my ass!

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[Talking about Gintoki]
Kagura: It’s the same as always. He doesn’t pursue those who leave, and ignores those who come.

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[Talking about Gintoki’s trustworthiness]
Kondo: I’ve told you before, he’s not one to trust, Otae-san. No trustworthy man has eyes that look like a dead fish’s eyes.

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[Gintoki meets a client at a restaurant]
Gintoki: Want some?
Client: What’s that?
Gintoki: It’s red beans over rice. A Gintoki-don.
Client: T-that’s alright.

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Gintoki: Did I really drink so much? My head’s spinning, and everything’s so blurry.
Client: No, it’s an earthquake, isn’t it?
Gintoki: I can’t hold it!
Client: I think I’m going to throw up too. [vomits right behind Gintoki]
Gintoki: Don’t do it there. Go down there a little bit.

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[Kagura, Gintoki, Shinpachi and the client enter the villain’s lair]

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Kagura: How are we going to sneak in?
Gintoki: We’re not going to sneak in, we’re gonna bust in. To bust in means to go in from the front, guns blazing.
Shinpachi: Gin-san!
Gintoki: Sorry, Excuse me! [kicks the gate in]
Kagura: Bunta! Are you trying to be like Bunta?!

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[The party enters, and finds a banquet table]
Shinpachi: [putting his hand near a food dish] It’s still warm. There were people here a minute ago.
Gintoki: That’s true it’s nice and warm. [Camera pans to Gintoki and Kagura eating the food]
Kagura: Is this meat really meat? It’s so tender!
Shinpachi: Oi, why are you eating?
Gintoki: Well, it’s not good to waste food, is it?
Kagura: And there’ll be fewer leftovers!

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[A cage comes down over the table and the party is trapped. Gintoki addresses the villains]
Gintoki: But hey, you guys, aren’t you ashamed of yourselves for laying such a stupid trap?
Kariya: Aren’t you ashamed for being caught in it?
Kagura: I’m ok with it since I can eat such great chow!

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Shinpachi: Elizabeth-san! Why are you here?
Gintoki: So then Zura’s here too.
Katsura: It’s not Zura; it’s Katsura.

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[Katsura gives Gintoki the blueprints]
Gintoki: Ah, no good. I’m bad with technical things.
Katsura: What do you think after reading that, Gintoki?
Gintoki: I really have no idea.
Katsura: Then I’ll tell you. They intend to destroy Edo!
Gintoki/Shinpachi: Eh??
Katsura: They’re going to enjoy Edo?
Shinpachi: Destroy it, you dummy!

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Katsura: They’ll use it [a giant earthquake] to destroy Edo!
Client: Oh no!
Gintoki: That’s like what an evil organization in some anime would do.

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Katsura: Hey Gintoki! Where are you going? It’ll be dangerous if you guys go alone!
Gintoki: Still, we have to go! See you, Zura!
Katsura: It’s not Zura; it’s Katsura!
Client: [riding on Sadaharu with Kagura] Um, if I may?
Gintoki: [riding on his motor scooter] What? If you’ve got something to say, say it now!
Shinpachi: [riding behind Gintoki] That’s right! Time is of the essence!
Client: Then I’ll say it. We missed our turn.

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[The villains have explained that the Shinsengumi fighting them would be going against territorial law]
Hijikata: Territorial law, huh?
Kondo: Dammit! [looks at Hijikata] But…what’s territorial law?
Buu: If you really want to get into the house, then come back with the proper paperwork.
Kariya: Wahahaha!
Kondo: [to Okita] Hey, what are you doing?
Okita: [aiming for the house with his bazooka] Well, if this house no longer exists, we can go inside, right?
Hijikata: Who are you? Ikkyuu-san?

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[crashing through the gate on his motor scooter]
Gintoki: Thanks for the support! Here come the real heros!

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[the guy Gintoki taunted about playing tetris steps in front of Gintoki]
Guy: Wait! I’ve wanted to settle our score!
Gintoki: Don’t go thinking you’re my rival, you circus freak!

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