Glee Quotes
Santana: [groans and knocks on the bathroom door] Quinn, quit hogging the bathroom! I needs to re-pencil my eyebrows on. [turns to Brittany] I mean, doesn't she-
Quinn: [opens the door and walks out] It's all yours.
Santana: Everyone's already in the other room working.
Quinn: Oh yeah? Is Mr. Schue in there? Because I think I'm going to tell him that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking off together.
Brittany: You can't do that. He'll have to suspend them.
Quinn: And there goes our chances at nationals. Darn!
Santana: You know what? We get it. You're pissed at Finn for dumping your sweet ass. Get over it.
Quinn: I don't want to get over it! Okay?
Santana: The only person that you're sabotaging is yourself.
Quinn: I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID SHOW CHOIR COMPETITION!!
Santana: Well you should because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves!
Quinn: [begins to cry] Aren't we suppose to be the popular ones? So why can't we all have our dreams come true? She has love, Tina has it, even Zizes hooks up. [sits on a bed and Santana and Brittany sit next to her] I just want somebody to love me.
Quinn: [opens the door and walks out] It's all yours.
Santana: Everyone's already in the other room working.
Quinn: Oh yeah? Is Mr. Schue in there? Because I think I'm going to tell him that Rachel and Kurt keep sneaking off together.
Brittany: You can't do that. He'll have to suspend them.
Quinn: And there goes our chances at nationals. Darn!
Santana: You know what? We get it. You're pissed at Finn for dumping your sweet ass. Get over it.
Quinn: I don't want to get over it! Okay?
Santana: The only person that you're sabotaging is yourself.
Quinn: I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID SHOW CHOIR COMPETITION!!
Santana: Well you should because this is the one chance that we have to actually feel good about ourselves!
Quinn: [begins to cry] Aren't we suppose to be the popular ones? So why can't we all have our dreams come true? She has love, Tina has it, even Zizes hooks up. [sits on a bed and Santana and Brittany sit next to her] I just want somebody to love me.
TV Show: Glee
Mr. Schuester: I love my kids.
Goolsby: What? No you don't. They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.
Goolsby: What? No you don't. They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Santana? [sees Sunshine coming out of the stall] Oh! Shoving your fingers down your throat like the rest of your brainwashed Vocal Adrenaline brothers & sisters?
Sunshine: I'm not throwing up on purpose. I used to love singing. It was the only thing that relaxes me. Now I hate it.
Rachel: Do you think I'm an idiot?
Sunshine: No! I think you're kinda mean but I don't think you're stupid.
Rachel: I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me feel bad for you so that I don't try as hard to crush you on the stage.
Sunshine: What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? When I came to your school, I heard that the Glee club was where kids went when no one else would take them, a safe place, for some reasons, you made me the only one who wasn't safe there. [begins to leave]
Rachel: Where are you going?
Sunshine: To the Philippine Embassy. I'm going to beg them to revoke my visa and deport me back home.That's the only way I'm gonna be able to escape Vocal Adrenaline.
Rachel: Jus... wai.. wait. It's because you're good. That's why I hated you, that's why I've sent you to that crack house. I'm Sorry. But you have to go out there and sing. You have a gift! Something that Dustin Goolsby would kill for.
Sunshine: I can't. I'm gonna barf all over the stage.
Rachel: If you feel like you're gonna throw up, just look at me and I'll help you through it
Sunshine: Why? Don't you wanna win?
Rachel: Guys like us have to stick together. I'm hugging now. [hugs Sunshine]
Sunshine: I'm not throwing up on purpose. I used to love singing. It was the only thing that relaxes me. Now I hate it.
Rachel: Do you think I'm an idiot?
Sunshine: No! I think you're kinda mean but I don't think you're stupid.
Rachel: I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me feel bad for you so that I don't try as hard to crush you on the stage.
Sunshine: What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? When I came to your school, I heard that the Glee club was where kids went when no one else would take them, a safe place, for some reasons, you made me the only one who wasn't safe there. [begins to leave]
Rachel: Where are you going?
Sunshine: To the Philippine Embassy. I'm going to beg them to revoke my visa and deport me back home.That's the only way I'm gonna be able to escape Vocal Adrenaline.
Rachel: Jus... wai.. wait. It's because you're good. That's why I hated you, that's why I've sent you to that crack house. I'm Sorry. But you have to go out there and sing. You have a gift! Something that Dustin Goolsby would kill for.
Sunshine: I can't. I'm gonna barf all over the stage.
Rachel: If you feel like you're gonna throw up, just look at me and I'll help you through it
Sunshine: Why? Don't you wanna win?
Rachel: Guys like us have to stick together. I'm hugging now. [hugs Sunshine]
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: I think we were good.
Finn: Good? We were amazing!
Rachel: The kiss was... interesting.
Finn: Yeah, I'm calling it the kiss of the century-
Jesse: That kiss was unprofessional. It was too personal and intense. The judges won't like it. They'll consider it common and vulgar and will cost you nationals. Hi Rachel, you look amazing and you sounded great. You just shouldn't have kissed him.
Rachel: Why are you here Jesse?
Jesse: For you.
Finn: Dude, back off; you're just jealous. Jealous of what we have, and what we shared with the entire audience because it was shared between two people who love each other. It was the Superman of kisses! It came with its own cape, right Rachel?
Finn: Good? We were amazing!
Rachel: The kiss was... interesting.
Finn: Yeah, I'm calling it the kiss of the century-
Jesse: That kiss was unprofessional. It was too personal and intense. The judges won't like it. They'll consider it common and vulgar and will cost you nationals. Hi Rachel, you look amazing and you sounded great. You just shouldn't have kissed him.
Rachel: Why are you here Jesse?
Jesse: For you.
Finn: Dude, back off; you're just jealous. Jealous of what we have, and what we shared with the entire audience because it was shared between two people who love each other. It was the Superman of kisses! It came with its own cape, right Rachel?
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: We all just looked at the top ten list for showcase and we all just went numb. And then Jesse just kept going on and on about how Rachel and Finn's kiss was what cost us nationals.
Blaine: While I do understand passion I do think that was unprofessional. Sorry keep going.
Kurt: And then we get back to the hotel, and Santana loses it.
Blaine: While I do understand passion I do think that was unprofessional. Sorry keep going.
Kurt: And then we get back to the hotel, and Santana loses it.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: [angrily yelling at Rachel and being held back] Escucha! Soy de Lima Heights Adjacents y yo tengo orgullo!. Sabes lo que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacents? Cosas Malas! (English translation: I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud! Do you know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent? Bad things!)
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: I mean, on the plane ride home it was completely silent, like no one said a word. We just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary issues of SkyMall.
Blaine: Wait a second...I don't get it. You don't seem that sad at all.
Kurt: It was still amazing. I mean, I flew in a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany's, I sung on a Broadway stage.
Blaine: I love you.
Kurt: [silent for a few seconds] I love you too. You know when you stop to think about it, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year.
Blaine: Wait a second...I don't get it. You don't seem that sad at all.
Kurt: It was still amazing. I mean, I flew in a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany's, I sung on a Broadway stage.
Blaine: I love you.
Kurt: [silent for a few seconds] I love you too. You know when you stop to think about it, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: [walks up to Santana] Hey, you still pissed?
Santana: [holds up a voodoo doll] Do you think this voodoo doll looks enough like Rachel Berry to actually work?
Brittany: Come on, we can't be mad at Rachel forever.
Santana: Uh, yes we can. How could you possibly be so clam?
Brittany: I hated losing just as much as everyone but this year wasn't about winning for me.
Santana: Clearly, cause we got our asses kicked.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: Sorry. Was was it about?
Brittany: Acceptance. I know that all the kids in the glee club they fight and steal each others boyfriends and girlfriends and they threaten to quit like every other week. But weird stuff like that happens in families.
Santana: Yeah, well this a club. This not a family.
Brittany: OK well, family is a place where everybody loves you no matter what. And they accept you for who you are. I know I'm going to be a bridesmaid at Mike and Tina's wedding. And I'm going to be anxiously waiting just like everybody else to see if their babies are Asian too. When they find an operation to make Artie's legs work again, I'm going to be there for his first steps. I love them, I love everyone in glee club and I get to spend another year with the people I love. So, I'm good.
Santana: What about you and I?
Brittany: I love you Santana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world. All I know about you and I is that because of that, I think any thing's possible.
Santana: [holds up a voodoo doll] Do you think this voodoo doll looks enough like Rachel Berry to actually work?
Brittany: Come on, we can't be mad at Rachel forever.
Santana: Uh, yes we can. How could you possibly be so clam?
Brittany: I hated losing just as much as everyone but this year wasn't about winning for me.
Santana: Clearly, cause we got our asses kicked.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: Sorry. Was was it about?
Brittany: Acceptance. I know that all the kids in the glee club they fight and steal each others boyfriends and girlfriends and they threaten to quit like every other week. But weird stuff like that happens in families.
Santana: Yeah, well this a club. This not a family.
Brittany: OK well, family is a place where everybody loves you no matter what. And they accept you for who you are. I know I'm going to be a bridesmaid at Mike and Tina's wedding. And I'm going to be anxiously waiting just like everybody else to see if their babies are Asian too. When they find an operation to make Artie's legs work again, I'm going to be there for his first steps. I love them, I love everyone in glee club and I get to spend another year with the people I love. So, I'm good.
Santana: What about you and I?
Brittany: I love you Santana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world. All I know about you and I is that because of that, I think any thing's possible.
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Where have you been?
Finn: Hiding out. Everyone hates me.
Rachel: No, they don't. And that doesn't explain why you haven't said a word to me since we've been back.
Finn: You should be more pissed at me than anyone else. I screwed up. I'm humiliated! And we worked so hard for everything and I was supposed to be this big-shot leader holding everyone together and…I blew it. Cost us the championship.
Rachel: Look, being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequences. What were you feeling in that moment?
Finn: That I loved you. And I would've done or given anything to kiss you one more time.
Rachel: So you did. You know, you gave it all up for one kiss… Was is worth it?
Finn: Yeah. What about you? Was it worth it for you?
Rachel: Yeah. Because in my heart, I know we'll have another shot at nationals. You have to know that I'm leaving, Finn. I'm going to New York and I'm never coming back.
Finn: Graduation's a year away. You got any plans 'til then? [kisses Rachel]
Rachel: Okay, let's go. [gets up]
Finn: [confused] Where are we going?
Rachel: Final glee club meeting of the year!
Finn: Hiding out. Everyone hates me.
Rachel: No, they don't. And that doesn't explain why you haven't said a word to me since we've been back.
Finn: You should be more pissed at me than anyone else. I screwed up. I'm humiliated! And we worked so hard for everything and I was supposed to be this big-shot leader holding everyone together and…I blew it. Cost us the championship.
Rachel: Look, being an artist is about expressing your true feelings in the moment no matter what the consequences. What were you feeling in that moment?
Finn: That I loved you. And I would've done or given anything to kiss you one more time.
Rachel: So you did. You know, you gave it all up for one kiss… Was is worth it?
Finn: Yeah. What about you? Was it worth it for you?
Rachel: Yeah. Because in my heart, I know we'll have another shot at nationals. You have to know that I'm leaving, Finn. I'm going to New York and I'm never coming back.
Finn: Graduation's a year away. You got any plans 'til then? [kisses Rachel]
Rachel: Okay, let's go. [gets up]
Finn: [confused] Where are we going?
Rachel: Final glee club meeting of the year!
TV Show: Glee
Rachel: Wait, won't appearing in a commercial revoke our amateur status and make us ineligible for glee club competition?
TV Show: Glee
Sue: A pox on all of you! [leaves]
Puck: Thanks a lot, Raquel.
Rachel: How is this my fault?
Brittany: I was gonna donate my Chevy Cruze to charity. Charity is my cat. She totaled her SUV last weekend.
Puck: Thanks a lot, Raquel.
Rachel: How is this my fault?
Brittany: I was gonna donate my Chevy Cruze to charity. Charity is my cat. She totaled her SUV last weekend.
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: [raises her hand]
Mr. Schuester: Yes Brittany?
Brittany: Who're all these people?
Mr. Schuester: That's the audience.
Brittany: Well when did they get here? I got a hard-boiled egg from this homeless man at the back of the theater. And now I don't know where I am and everything smells like an airport.
Mr. Schuester: Let's get back to the music. Rachel, I assume you'd like to go first?
Mr. Schuester: Yes Brittany?
Brittany: Who're all these people?
Mr. Schuester: That's the audience.
Brittany: Well when did they get here? I got a hard-boiled egg from this homeless man at the back of the theater. And now I don't know where I am and everything smells like an airport.
Mr. Schuester: Let's get back to the music. Rachel, I assume you'd like to go first?
TV Show: Glee
Brittany: These men back here are called stagehands. I made out with every single one of them. I'm waiting for my friend Kurt. He took me on a date. He gave me a facial and now I'm in love with him.
Kurt: [walks on stage wearing a costume]
Brittany: You look like a boy peacock.
Kurt: Why thank you, Brittany.
Brittany: You look like a boy peacock that likes other boy peacocks.
Kurt: You'd be surprise Britt that the male peacocks are the fancy ones and the female ones are the drab ones.
Brittany: I don't know what the word drab means.
Kurt: Really?
Brittany: I do know that verbs are action words. Why are you dressed up like that?
Kurt: Well Britt, we've reached the eleven o'clock number. We have to push through to the finish. I think the only way we can beat Vocal Adrenaline is with fashion.
Brittany: We're jumping on mattresses. I think your lady cape might get ruined.
Kurt: You know, Britt? For the first time, I think you're right.
Brittany: Remember when we made out?
Kurt: [silent for a few seconds] Yeah.
Brittany: I'm incredibly turned on right now. I want to touch your soft baby hands.
Kurt: Y'know, Brit, I-I have thi-this thing that I- [runs off the stage]
Brittany: One day, I will make Kurt Hummel mine. You can count on that. Even though...I can't count.
Kurt: [walks on stage wearing a costume]
Brittany: You look like a boy peacock.
Kurt: Why thank you, Brittany.
Brittany: You look like a boy peacock that likes other boy peacocks.
Kurt: You'd be surprise Britt that the male peacocks are the fancy ones and the female ones are the drab ones.
Brittany: I don't know what the word drab means.
Kurt: Really?
Brittany: I do know that verbs are action words. Why are you dressed up like that?
Kurt: Well Britt, we've reached the eleven o'clock number. We have to push through to the finish. I think the only way we can beat Vocal Adrenaline is with fashion.
Brittany: We're jumping on mattresses. I think your lady cape might get ruined.
Kurt: You know, Britt? For the first time, I think you're right.
Brittany: Remember when we made out?
Kurt: [silent for a few seconds] Yeah.
Brittany: I'm incredibly turned on right now. I want to touch your soft baby hands.
Kurt: Y'know, Brit, I-I have thi-this thing that I- [runs off the stage]
Brittany: One day, I will make Kurt Hummel mine. You can count on that. Even though...I can't count.
TV Show: Glee
Finn: [speaking into microphone and playing drums] Test, test, test, one. Oh hold on, we got a dead mic. [throws the batteries into the trash]
Mercedes: You know you're not suppose to throw batteries out.
Narrator: Some people want to do good.
Finn: But they're out of juice.
Rachel: But if you don't recycle batteries they'll leak acid into the landfill and it's very bad for the environment. [takes the batteries out of the trash] You know I'm trying to make a documentary about it right now but Al Gore is very bad at returning phone calls.
Santana: Does it count as recycling if you collect old batteries to throw at clowns?
Narrator: Some people don't.
Tina: I recycle clothes.
Kurt: I've noticed.
Finn: [plays a rimshot on drums]
Brittany: I don't really know what recycling is but I do what know bicycling is.
Narrator: Which one are you? Take the quiz and find out at memebersproject.com/glee. You could even win a trip to volunteer with the cast thanks to Members Project from American Express.
Mercedes: You know you're not suppose to throw batteries out.
Narrator: Some people want to do good.
Finn: But they're out of juice.
Rachel: But if you don't recycle batteries they'll leak acid into the landfill and it's very bad for the environment. [takes the batteries out of the trash] You know I'm trying to make a documentary about it right now but Al Gore is very bad at returning phone calls.
Santana: Does it count as recycling if you collect old batteries to throw at clowns?
Narrator: Some people don't.
Tina: I recycle clothes.
Kurt: I've noticed.
Finn: [plays a rimshot on drums]
Brittany: I don't really know what recycling is but I do what know bicycling is.
Narrator: Which one are you? Take the quiz and find out at memebersproject.com/glee. You could even win a trip to volunteer with the cast thanks to Members Project from American Express.
TV Show: Glee
Kurt: [about to have his head plunged into the toilet by Puck] Wait! No please! I'm a terrible swimmer! I'm allergic to water!
Puck: Get in there, dweeb!
Kurt: Stop! [Puck stops] It's a waste of water.
Narrator: Some people want to do good.
Puck: [pulls Kurt out of the stall]
Kurt: Let's calmly walk down the hall and you can give me a swirlie there. In one of those low flushed toilets that are good for the environment.
Puck: You say it's close?
Kurt: [nods]
Puck: I'm really pressed for time. I gotta go throw Artie's wheelchair off the roof in like, five.
Narrator: Some people don't.
Kurt: [points] Oh look, pretty girl.
Puck: [turns to the side while Kurt runs to the door]
Kurt: You'll never catch me alive. [runs out]
Puck: Man, I gotta stop being nice to people.
Puck: Get in there, dweeb!
Kurt: Stop! [Puck stops] It's a waste of water.
Narrator: Some people want to do good.
Puck: [pulls Kurt out of the stall]
Kurt: Let's calmly walk down the hall and you can give me a swirlie there. In one of those low flushed toilets that are good for the environment.
Puck: You say it's close?
Kurt: [nods]
Puck: I'm really pressed for time. I gotta go throw Artie's wheelchair off the roof in like, five.
Narrator: Some people don't.
Kurt: [points] Oh look, pretty girl.
Puck: [turns to the side while Kurt runs to the door]
Kurt: You'll never catch me alive. [runs out]
Puck: Man, I gotta stop being nice to people.
TV Show: Glee
The Sign on the Homecoming Voting Table Written by Brittany: Vote for Homcoming King and Queen...
TV Show: Glee
Text: She [Quinn] should have known better to than to trust her [Brittany] with anything important.
TV Show: Glee
Santana: (replying to Tina's question about the faulty smoke machine not being faulty) Of course not.
Text: She smiled. She could act. She'd been in a school play in 8th grade, and her mother said she'd been very convincing in the role of "Old Lady with Monacle."
Text: She smiled. She could act. She'd been in a school play in 8th grade, and her mother said she'd been very convincing in the role of "Old Lady with Monacle."
TV Show: Glee
(Finn is at a Celibacy Club waiting for Quinn)
Freshman Cheerio!: Where's Quinn?
Finn: I don't know.
Text: All he knew was, if Quinn wasn't showing up, you wouldn't count on him staying. Then it hit him: This was the perfect excuse to leave.
Finn: I'm sorry, I have to be somewhere. (runs out to the hall)
Freshman Cheerio!: Where's Quinn?
Finn: I don't know.
Text: All he knew was, if Quinn wasn't showing up, you wouldn't count on him staying. Then it hit him: This was the perfect excuse to leave.
Finn: I'm sorry, I have to be somewhere. (runs out to the hall)
TV Show: Glee