Green Wing Quotes
Dr. Caroline Todd: [at Caroline's housewarming party. Caroline is standing in the doorway saying goodbye to some people. Sue White jumps up to her] Bye, bye, um, thanks for coming. Oh, oh, you were here...? Well, thank you for coming.
Sue White: [she leans in and speaks to Caroline's breasts] Thank you, Dr Trodd, for inviting me to your party...
Dr. Caroline Todd: I didn't know I did, but you were here and now you're going so that's all that matters.
Sue White: [leans in and kisses her passionately]
Dr. Caroline Todd: I've been sick.
Sue White: [with her hands on her own breasts] Well, so have I. And I am completely shaved! [panting]
Dr. Caroline Todd: Oh, God. Oh, God.
Sue White: Bye-bye then. I'll see you at work, okay? [sings and skips away]
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: Aha! Where have you been, aren't you supposed to be back in theatre and I've been looking for you.
Dr. Macartney: Here, no, and well done, you've found me. It's your turn to hide.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: Boyce, you're friends with Mac and Guy. Who's the biggest scumbag?
Boyce: Guy. Guy, Guy, Guy, Guy.
Dr. Caroline Todd: Guy? Why Guy?
Boyce: He once ethically objected to resuscitating a woman with an A-cup.
Dr. Caroline Todd: An egg cup?
Boyce: No, an A-cup, small puppies. He said it wasn't worth saving less than a handful.
Dr. Caroline Todd: Dear God!
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: Did you just throw your breast at me?
Sue White: No. Do you want me to?
Dr. Caroline Todd: No.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: Go away.
Dr. Macartney: Shan't.
Dr. Caroline Todd: I am such a tit.
Dr. Macartney: Yep. Yep.
Dr. Caroline Todd: You don't have to agree with me.
Dr. Macartney: I was just being polite.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: How was the interview?
Dr. Macartney: Not sure... think I might have used the words 'job', 'stick', 'up' and 'arse' all in one sentence. Is that a bad thing?
Dr. Caroline Todd: Well I... I think tone of voice is very important.
Dr. Macartney: Is it, is it? Damn. Shit. Excuse me, I have some patients to see.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: I do like him.
Sue White: I see.
Dr. Caroline Todd: In a non-professional way.
Sue White: Ah.
Dr. Caroline Todd: And I work with him every day so... [Sue makes strange gagging noises]
Dr. Caroline Todd: What?
Sue White: Nothing. It's - er - you work with him every day?
Dr. Caroline Todd: Yeah.
Sue White: Guy?
Dr. Caroline Todd: No.
Sue White: The other one?
Dr. Caroline Todd: Yeah.
Sue White: [close to tears] The - er - the one with the lion's mane?
Dr. Caroline Todd: I - w - yeah.
Sue White: I see. Well, Dr Trod, maybe you've had your chance with him. Maybe it's too late. Maybe someone else deserves to take priority. Maybe you should just STAY AWAY or pay the price. Mmm, mmm? Now maybe you should think about that. You've been warned, lady.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: I don't think I like your tone tonight, Martin.
Dr. Martin Dear: [looks in other direction] Fuck off.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Caroline Todd: Please can I have a quick word?
Dr. Macartney: Zoom. Whoosh. There's two for you. [walks off]
TV Show: Green Wing
Joanna Clore: [on answering machine] It's over, Alan. Don't contact me. You will never feel my super-vagina again.
Dr. Alan Statham: I, I, I wish people would leave a name!
TV Show: Green Wing
Joanna Clore: [on Mac's hair] Well, at least I don't look like a girl.
Dr. Macartney: Ah, touche, touche...
TV Show: Green Wing
Joanna Clore: And I suppose radiology is proper medicine then, is it?
Dr. Alan Statham: I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer. [pause]
Dr. Alan Statham: Yes, it bloody is!
TV Show: Green Wing
Joanna Clore: God, you've changed your tune.
Dr. Alan Statham: Yes, I march to a different tune. [sings]
Dr. Alan Statham: La la la la la la-la-laaa, la la la la...
TV Show: Green Wing
Joanna Clore: What kind of masked kidnapper are you?
Dr. Alan Statham: Well, one who is loathe to contravene local bye-laws, actually.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Alan Statham: [hanging in Joanna's office in a hangmansnoose] Help! [no reaction]
Dr. Alan Statham: I need a wee!
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Alan Statham: Do you want me to report you for that earring?
Dr. Macartney: Only if I can report you for the moustache.
Dr. Alan Statham: Most females find body piercing repugnant. Luckily, I am still intact.
Dr. Macartney: Yes, even I draw the line at piercing arseholes. [leaves]
Dr. Alan Statham: Exactly! [realizes insult]
Dr. Angela Hunter: Banter?
Dr. Alan Statham: Yes.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Alan Statham: Erm... you may be thinking that I am comparing my penis to that of a corpse. [looks shifty and wanders away]
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: [holding a keyboard singing] Mackenzie, gonna get the finger, cos his daddy, so freaky ginger.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: [in operating theatre] What? Does it say no smoking? [bad Geordie accent]
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Does it say no smoking? Which way to the dole office? Do you know I'm unemployed and I have a mullet?
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: I was only down the old Hackney Stadium last night... blew a monkey on a dog.
Dr. Macartney: Really? You'll have the RSPCA after you.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: No, a monkey, it's fifty sheets.
Terry: Five hundred.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Really? So what's a pony?
Dr. Macartney: It's kind of a small horse...
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Kissing in the toilet?
Dr. Caroline Todd: Yes... who sang Kissing In The Toilets in 1978?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Er... was it a young Geroge Michael?
Dr. Caroline Todd: Yes. [leaves]
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Fucking hell, that was a guess! [sings]
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Kissing in the toilet - don't flush, it's lush...
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Oh, what are you scared about Marty?
Dr. Martin Dear: Oh, er, well, er, failing my exams again and everyone I know realising what a loser I am and always will be, and losing any self-esteem that I ever had, and hating myself and being myself for the rest of my life.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Fair enough.
Dr. Martin Dear: Still, I suppose everyone feels like that about exams, don't they?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Er, no. Not me.
Dr. Martin Dear: Why not?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Ooh, let me see. Is it because exams are easy peasy lemon squeezy or I'm brilliant? It's both! See, the Secretans have never been a home to self-doubt, I have no idea what you're feeling.
Dr. Martin Dear: Well, it's bloody horrible. [Martin puts on his doctor's coat. A tiger tail is pinned to the back. Guy notices]
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Erm, Martin.
Dr. Martin Dear: What?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Nothing.
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Oi, I made up a song, it goes - [sings]
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: who's the man? Who's the man? Is Guy the man? Yes yes I am!
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: That's how I remembered your name when I first met you.
Dr. Macartney: What?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Massively annoying chap.
Dr. Macartney: Massively annoying chap?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Yeah. Mac. I was going to say Massively Annoying... [scene cuts]
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Yes, I've died and gone to heaven, females are fighting over their pants. They're going to rip each other's clothes off!
Boyce: I'm getting a semi.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Semi? What's wrong with you boy, I'm like a flagpole!
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: You - are a *gingre*.
Dr. Macartney: I am a *fraise-blonde*.
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Dr. Macartney: [bangs Guy's head against lockers] Say it!
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Je suis desole...
Dr. Macartney: [bangs Guy's head] In English!
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Martin I'm s... I'm s... I'm s... sorry I told you you'd passed your exams when you hadn't. [Martin pulls Guy's lip]
Dr. Macartney: Now hug.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan, Dr. Martin Dear: What?
Dr. Macartney: I said hug. [there is no reaction]
Dr. Macartney: FUCKING HUG! [Guy and Martin hug very awkwardly but break apart when Mac walks away. He turns back]
Dr. Macartney: I said hug!
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Macartney: [into phone] He had sex with his mother.
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Don't tell them that!
Dr. Macartney: Why not?
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: Jesus, what's wrong with you?
Dr. Macartney: Why not, it's not a crime! [listens into phone]
Dr. Macartney: Oh, it is? Wow. Apparently you can get up to seven years...
Dr. Guilaume Secretan: This is you talking someone out of a suicidal depression?
TV Show: Green Wing
Dr. Macartney: Can I go and cut people up now?
Dr. Caroline Todd: Yes.
Dr. Macartney: Excellent!
TV Show: Green Wing