Greg the Bunny Quotes
Gil: Guys, guys, can we just try and get this right, because the new boss from the network is here.
Dottie: Where'd she come from?
Gil: PBS.
Blah: Looks more like PMS, blah.
Dottie: Where'd she come from?
Gil: PBS.
Blah: Looks more like PMS, blah.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: The, uh, the line, Rochester, is, "Can static electricity be used to light up a Christmas tree?"
Rochester: Yeah, well, the only thing that's lit up is Warren.
Rochester: Yeah, well, the only thing that's lit up is Warren.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Alright. Alright. Send your friend in, I'll see what I can do. But, Jimmy, I'm really worried about you, son. You know, I just read this article about children of highly successful fathers. And these kids, they sabotage their own futures, 'cause they can't compete with their father's, you know, brilliant accomplishments.
Jimmy: You babysit actors on some lame kiddie show.
Jimmy: You babysit actors on some lame kiddie show.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Fact: There are 3.2 million puppets -- or as we prefer to be called, Fabricated Americans -- currently residing in the United States. And, despite all of our many accomplishments, most people would still rather chamois their car with us than have us date their daughters. But, you know, I don't let it get me down. Hey, after all, you know, some of my best friends are humans.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Yeah, well, at least you have a job. It is impossible for a puppet to find work out there.
Jimmy: Well, they're hiring at the arcade.
Greg: Yeah. Dollar fifty an hour to be a whack-a-mole. I don't think so. You should see the guy I'd be replacing. Talks like Mohammed Ali.
Jimmy: Well, they're hiring at the arcade.
Greg: Yeah. Dollar fifty an hour to be a whack-a-mole. I don't think so. You should see the guy I'd be replacing. Talks like Mohammed Ali.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Needless to say, we went back to the old Sweetknuckle Junction. Alison told Jimmy that his ideas just weren't jelling creatively with the network. Not to mention all the lawsuits we got from the parents of those twitching kids. Jimmy, you know, the hard-driven creative consultant went back to just being, well... Jimmy. And that's a'ight with me.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: You know, I really feel great about this new direction. I just--you know, it's--it's fun, and it's fresh, and it's--it's full of new ideas.
Jimmy: Then why are we testing it?
Alison: To see if we like it.
Jimmy: Then why are we testing it?
Alison: To see if we like it.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Dottie: You think I'm fat.
Blah: No, that's--that's Warren.
Warren: Would you like a fistful of gold, Liberace?
Blah: Oh, Liberace. Tough talk coming from Notorious P.I.G.
Blah: No, that's--that's Warren.
Warren: Would you like a fistful of gold, Liberace?
Blah: Oh, Liberace. Tough talk coming from Notorious P.I.G.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Dottie: Jimmy, I like this outfit, but... don't you think it's a bit much? I mean, my grandmother watches this show.
Jimmy: Well, Dottie, we're not doing this show for the grandmothers. We're doing it for the kids.
Dottie: Oh, okay. As long as it's for the kids. I'll just be practicing on my go-go pole.
Jimmy: Well, Dottie, we're not doing this show for the grandmothers. We're doing it for the kids.
Dottie: Oh, okay. As long as it's for the kids. I'll just be practicing on my go-go pole.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Why didn't you just call a doctor?
Warren: Oh, yes, there's a fine way to make my case with the network. "Oh, I am not overweight, I tell you. And, by the way, here's the bill from when my ass exploded."
Warren: Oh, yes, there's a fine way to make my case with the network. "Oh, I am not overweight, I tell you. And, by the way, here's the bill from when my ass exploded."
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Warren: I am not fat! I... don't be ridiculous! Of course, I can touch my toes! Here, I will prove it to you.
[rip]
Warren: Uh... um, something ripped. No, I'm not wearing pants! I... Maury... I--I think I just tore myself a new one.
[rip]
Warren: Uh... um, something ripped. No, I'm not wearing pants! I... Maury... I--I think I just tore myself a new one.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Yeah, well, like I said, it's not my problem.
Dottie: But that's what you do. When we complain, you fix.
Gil: Top four answers on the board. Show me "Not My Problem." Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Warren: Yeah, I'd like to change categories, and take "Television's Biggest Jackasses" for $400.
Dottie: But that's what you do. When we complain, you fix.
Gil: Top four answers on the board. Show me "Not My Problem." Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Warren: Yeah, I'd like to change categories, and take "Television's Biggest Jackasses" for $400.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: Jimmy. He's Gil's son. I'm putting him in charge. He's the... P.A.
Warren: Wait, I have to listen to the kid who lets my coffee get cold? While you're at it, why don't you make Tardy Turtle the head of the network?
Warren: Wait, I have to listen to the kid who lets my coffee get cold? While you're at it, why don't you make Tardy Turtle the head of the network?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: I know you all fear change, so from now on, any changes will be referred to as "enhancements."
Dottie: Oh, I got enhancements.
Dottie: Oh, I got enhancements.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: You can't put the future of this show in the hands of a P.A. A P.A. who, by the way, only has the job 'cause I'm trying to give that moron some self confidence.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Yes, Alison.
Alison: Jimmy just left my office.
Gil: Oh, God. Whatever he did, wherever he touched you, I apologize.
Alison: No, he was telling me his ideas for the show.
Gil: Oy. I apologize for that, too.
Alison: Jimmy just left my office.
Gil: Oh, God. Whatever he did, wherever he touched you, I apologize.
Alison: No, he was telling me his ideas for the show.
Gil: Oy. I apologize for that, too.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: See, now this one's the bullet train. So I'm thinkin' silver. I'm thinkin', you know, James Cameron. Like--like, The Matrix.
Gil: Yeah, you're thinking The Matrix, but you're babbling like Rain Man.
Gil: Yeah, you're thinking The Matrix, but you're babbling like Rain Man.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jimmy: Oh, please. The cartoon train station?
Alison: It's true. You know, kids today don't even like trains.
Gil: Everybody likes trains!
Alison: No, Gil, have you been on a train? It's depressing. Nobody wants to spend their vacation staring at poor people's backyards.
Alison: It's true. You know, kids today don't even like trains.
Gil: Everybody likes trains!
Alison: No, Gil, have you been on a train? It's depressing. Nobody wants to spend their vacation staring at poor people's backyards.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: There's an old saying: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And, personally, I never liked that saying. No, I thought it should go: If it's workin' alright, just say goodnight. Huh, see, 'cause, well, for starters, it rhymes. And... well, anyway, who would I talk to about changing that?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Gil: Ah, network testing. What could be more fun than this? Oh, I know. Who wants to kick me in the face?
Warren: Ooh. [Raises hand] Heh heh. Oh, I'm sorry, was that a rhetorical question?
Warren: Ooh. [Raises hand] Heh heh. Oh, I'm sorry, was that a rhetorical question?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Jack: Well, there's your problem there. In fact, you got two problems. And they're both between his legs.
Blah: Eh, what? They look fine to me, blah. I wish mine looked that healthy. Mine hang so low, I need a cold shower before I can get on an escalator, blah.
Blah: Eh, what? They look fine to me, blah. I wish mine looked that healthy. Mine hang so low, I need a cold shower before I can get on an escalator, blah.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Alison: You don't have the guts. Drop it.
Dottie: You drop it.
Susan: Ladies, ladies. Let's just cool out. Now let's all agree that it'd be nice to have a penis. But the sad truth is, we don't. And some of us probably never will.
Dottie: You drop it.
Susan: Ladies, ladies. Let's just cool out. Now let's all agree that it'd be nice to have a penis. But the sad truth is, we don't. And some of us probably never will.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Oh. Hi. I, uh, I must've, uh, dozed off.
Jimmy: Right next to the killer dog, no less.
Chelsea: Oh, aren't they cute.
Greg: Well. Yeah. You know, uh, he does seem much calmer, doesn't he? I guess we patched things up.
Jimmy: Right next to the killer dog, no less.
Chelsea: Oh, aren't they cute.
Greg: Well. Yeah. You know, uh, he does seem much calmer, doesn't he? I guess we patched things up.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Chelsea: Oh my God. Oh my God. James, what did he do to my dog?! Make it stop!
Jimmy: Hey, what happened?
Greg: Oh, Jimmy. Come on--what do you want me to say, man? You want me to say that Jack came over here, neutered the pooch and replaced his kabangers with Sammy Davis, Jr.'s eyes? Is that what you want me to say?
Jimmy: Hey, what happened?
Greg: Oh, Jimmy. Come on--what do you want me to say, man? You want me to say that Jack came over here, neutered the pooch and replaced his kabangers with Sammy Davis, Jr.'s eyes? Is that what you want me to say?
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: He attacked me.
Chelsea: You must have been taunting him!
Greg: Oh, you know, you should be a rape counselor.
Chelsea: You must have been taunting him!
Greg: Oh, you know, you should be a rape counselor.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: My fur is aching.
Bucky: I am going to violate you, bunny.
Burnt Leader: I am a man of mystery.
Bucky: I am going to violate you, bunny.
Burnt Leader: I am a man of mystery.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Chelsea: Okay, you're apologizing to him?
Jimmy: Yeah, well, look--
Chelsea: He castrated my dog!
Greg: You castrated my best friend.
Jimmy: Yeah, well, look--
Chelsea: He castrated my dog!
Greg: You castrated my best friend.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Warren: Hey, what do humans see in these things, anyway? If I wanted someone to lick my face and poop on my lawn, I'd get back together with Farrah Fawcett.
TV Show: Greg the Bunny
Greg: Jimmy, come on, this is paintball! We practiced for a month! We devised intricate battle plans! I even had myself Scotchguarded!
TV Show: Greg the Bunny