Holby City Quotes
[Playing a slightly inebriated game of mini-golf while discussing song lyrics.]
Diane: Really really really wanna zig-a-zig… ahhhh.
Dan: Now that's what I call girl power!
Diane: Really really really wanna zig-a-zig… ahhhh.
Dan: Now that's what I call girl power!
TV Show: Holby City
[Watching Matt from a distance.]
Dan: The last person I saw standing like that was Julian Clary.
Maddy: He’s not gay!
Dan: Has he made a pass at you?
Maddy: No.
Dan: I rest my case.
Maddy: You are such an ass sometimes.
Dan: Fifty quid says he is.
Maddy: Done.
Dan: Okay, now you’ve got to prove it.
Maddy: He’s not gay, I know he’s not!
Dan: You’ve slept with him you tart! I wanna see pictures of this.
Maddy: Of course I haven't.
Dan: Oh don’t be so offended, you Sam Strachan girl you.
Maddy: What if I got a third female party to verify he’d made a pass at them? Would that do?
Dan: Okay, but I still wanna see pictures!
Dan: The last person I saw standing like that was Julian Clary.
Maddy: He’s not gay!
Dan: Has he made a pass at you?
Maddy: No.
Dan: I rest my case.
Maddy: You are such an ass sometimes.
Dan: Fifty quid says he is.
Maddy: Done.
Dan: Okay, now you’ve got to prove it.
Maddy: He’s not gay, I know he’s not!
Dan: You’ve slept with him you tart! I wanna see pictures of this.
Maddy: Of course I haven't.
Dan: Oh don’t be so offended, you Sam Strachan girl you.
Maddy: What if I got a third female party to verify he’d made a pass at them? Would that do?
Dan: Okay, but I still wanna see pictures!
TV Show: Holby City
[Discussing Joseph's questioning by the police.]
Sam: Come on Faye, dish the dirt…
Faye: What about?
Sam: Squeaky clean Joseph Byrne being beaten with rubber hoses as we speak!
Sam: Come on Faye, dish the dirt…
Faye: What about?
Sam: Squeaky clean Joseph Byrne being beaten with rubber hoses as we speak!
TV Show: Holby City
[Connie is operating in Ric's operating theatre which is smaller than her own.]
Connie: I don't know how you work in this shoebox.
Ric: It's not so bad.
Connie: Really? By whose standards?
Ric: Well, you see, we leave our egos at the door - that way, there's more room.
Connie: I don't know how you work in this shoebox.
Ric: It's not so bad.
Connie: Really? By whose standards?
Ric: Well, you see, we leave our egos at the door - that way, there's more room.
TV Show: Holby City
[Discussing Diane's dislike of Jac.]
Dan: You two ever thought about mud wrestling?
Diane: Why is it she thinks she's got Lord Byrne wrapped around her little finger?
Dan: They're having wild sex when we're not looking.
Diane: Actually, they were getting on terribly well after the tele-surgery at the hotel.
Dan: No, he's 70 odd. I think a spell to put lead back in pencils is beyond even Miss Naylor.
Diane: Oh, I dunno, she's such a witch.
Dan: You think Lord Byrne would stoop that low?
Diane: Maybe not.
Dan: Listen, ah, Friday morning, I, ah, got a golf tournament, you couldn't cover me could you?
Diane: What's my reward?
Dan: Wild. Unlimited. Sex.
Diane: [Shakes her head.]
Dan: With me, not with Lord Byrne.
Diane: Still no.
Dan: You two ever thought about mud wrestling?
Diane: Why is it she thinks she's got Lord Byrne wrapped around her little finger?
Dan: They're having wild sex when we're not looking.
Diane: Actually, they were getting on terribly well after the tele-surgery at the hotel.
Dan: No, he's 70 odd. I think a spell to put lead back in pencils is beyond even Miss Naylor.
Diane: Oh, I dunno, she's such a witch.
Dan: You think Lord Byrne would stoop that low?
Diane: Maybe not.
Dan: Listen, ah, Friday morning, I, ah, got a golf tournament, you couldn't cover me could you?
Diane: What's my reward?
Dan: Wild. Unlimited. Sex.
Diane: [Shakes her head.]
Dan: With me, not with Lord Byrne.
Diane: Still no.
TV Show: Holby City
Judi Marsh: I keep seeing dead people.
Donna: Is that people you know or just general dead people?
Donna: Is that people you know or just general dead people?
TV Show: Holby City
[Connie is heavily pregnant, but she is adamant that she will be the one to perfom life-saving surgery on Lola.]
Sam: You're here to observe, Mrs Beauchamp, until Mr Hope arrives.
Connie: Ridiculous rule! My pregnancy wasn't a problem yesterday. Today I'm deemed unfit!
Greene: But you can't get close enough to the patient in your condition, Mrs Beauchamp. The Trust is thinking of you and Dr. Griffin.
Connie: A large stomach doesn't seem to hamper Mr. Hope!
Sam: You're here to observe, Mrs Beauchamp, until Mr Hope arrives.
Connie: Ridiculous rule! My pregnancy wasn't a problem yesterday. Today I'm deemed unfit!
Greene: But you can't get close enough to the patient in your condition, Mrs Beauchamp. The Trust is thinking of you and Dr. Griffin.
Connie: A large stomach doesn't seem to hamper Mr. Hope!
TV Show: Holby City
Ric has just announced to the department that Diane has been killed when her car was in collision with a train.]
Mark: You never know what's round the corner.
Donna: Yeah, like a whacking great train.
Mark: You never know what's round the corner.
Donna: Yeah, like a whacking great train.
TV Show: Holby City
[Donna, Maria, Lola, Chrissie, Abra and Mark are staring at an abstract sculpture that is being erected in the grounds.]
Abra: What d'you suppose it is?
Donna: It's obvious, isn't it? It's an escargot.
Sutherland: The artist calls it "The Circle of Life". Made entirely of recycled materials. Appropriate, don't you think?
[Lola looks highly sceptical.]
Sutherland: Come now, Doctor Griffin. It's well documented that art plays a crucial role in keeping patients calmer and more relaxed.
Lola: If I'd have known that, I'd have given out easels instead of drugs.
[Sutherland walks away.]
Donna: Still looks like a bloody snail to me.
Lola: I don't know about you, but I'd never trust a man who deals in scrap metal.
Abra: What d'you suppose it is?
Donna: It's obvious, isn't it? It's an escargot.
Sutherland: The artist calls it "The Circle of Life". Made entirely of recycled materials. Appropriate, don't you think?
[Lola looks highly sceptical.]
Sutherland: Come now, Doctor Griffin. It's well documented that art plays a crucial role in keeping patients calmer and more relaxed.
Lola: If I'd have known that, I'd have given out easels instead of drugs.
[Sutherland walks away.]
Donna: Still looks like a bloody snail to me.
Lola: I don't know about you, but I'd never trust a man who deals in scrap metal.
TV Show: Holby City
[Connie wants to take her father William to Holby for an operation.]
William Chase: I aren't going in a private ambulance!
Connie: Think of it as a taxi with a defibrillator.
William Chase: I aren't going in a private ambulance!
Connie: Think of it as a taxi with a defibrillator.
TV Show: Holby City
[During Lord Byrne’s operation]
Dan: One point to us
Joseph Byrne: There’s the rupture there and there
Dan: Oh...two points to God. [fixes hole] …The equalizer.
Dan: One point to us
Joseph Byrne: There’s the rupture there and there
Dan: Oh...two points to God. [fixes hole] …The equalizer.
TV Show: Holby City
[Abra is giving his best-man's speech at the wedding of Ric and Thandie.]
Abra: We're honoured to have one of Ric's ex-wives here today - the lovely Lola - and I have a text from the others saying "Sorry we're late. Both minibuses broken down on the M4!"
Abra: We're honoured to have one of Ric's ex-wives here today - the lovely Lola - and I have a text from the others saying "Sorry we're late. Both minibuses broken down on the M4!"
TV Show: Holby City
[Dan, Jac and Paul are operating on an elderly patient]
Dan: So, Miss Naylor, have you checked out the patient's status?
Jac: Sorry?
Dan: As your next potential conquest.
Jac: Hilarious.
Dan: He's just about the age for you, isn't he? He's worth a bob or two, by all accounts.
Jac: Blah, blah, blah.
Paul: It's a bit of a come-down from the landed gentry.
Jac: Zip it, mini-me!
Dan: So what time's the funeral?
Jac: I wouldn't know.
Dan: Are you persona non grata?
Jac: I'm glad you find the death of an eminent surgeon the source of such endless amusement.
Dan: [to Paul Rose] She really is an ice-queen, isn't she Rosie?
Paul: Positively arctic.
Dan: So, Miss Naylor, have you checked out the patient's status?
Jac: Sorry?
Dan: As your next potential conquest.
Jac: Hilarious.
Dan: He's just about the age for you, isn't he? He's worth a bob or two, by all accounts.
Jac: Blah, blah, blah.
Paul: It's a bit of a come-down from the landed gentry.
Jac: Zip it, mini-me!
Dan: So what time's the funeral?
Jac: I wouldn't know.
Dan: Are you persona non grata?
Jac: I'm glad you find the death of an eminent surgeon the source of such endless amusement.
Dan: [to Paul Rose] She really is an ice-queen, isn't she Rosie?
Paul: Positively arctic.
TV Show: Holby City
Joseph: No-one's ever wanted you, have they Jac, and no-one ever will.
Jac: Your dad did.
Joseph: That wasn't exactly what he wanted from you.
Jac: And what about you? You wanted me.
Joseph: Right up until I looked into that cold dead heart.
Jac: And yet as he lay there dying, thinking about me and what he'd be missing, rather than his dried-up old stiff of a wife or his spineless son, where were you? Holding his hand? Offering a last few words of comfort? Or locking horns with yours truly, trying to put a dent in my cold dead heart. And that's what really gets you, isn't it? You've got to carry that round for the rest of your days. If it was your father, we both know he'd shrug it off and move on. But not you - not the nail-scrubbing little worry-wart. You'll never shake the feeling that even on his death-bed, you were one big let-down.
[Provoked beyond endurance, Joseph hits Jac very hard across the face.]
Jac: Your dad did.
Joseph: That wasn't exactly what he wanted from you.
Jac: And what about you? You wanted me.
Joseph: Right up until I looked into that cold dead heart.
Jac: And yet as he lay there dying, thinking about me and what he'd be missing, rather than his dried-up old stiff of a wife or his spineless son, where were you? Holding his hand? Offering a last few words of comfort? Or locking horns with yours truly, trying to put a dent in my cold dead heart. And that's what really gets you, isn't it? You've got to carry that round for the rest of your days. If it was your father, we both know he'd shrug it off and move on. But not you - not the nail-scrubbing little worry-wart. You'll never shake the feeling that even on his death-bed, you were one big let-down.
[Provoked beyond endurance, Joseph hits Jac very hard across the face.]
TV Show: Holby City
Jac: Don't mess with me!
Joseph: But it's such fun.
[Jac slaps Joseph]
Joseph: Will that be all?
[Jac slaps Joseph again, even harder]
Jac: Now we're even.
Joseph: But it's such fun.
[Jac slaps Joseph]
Joseph: Will that be all?
[Jac slaps Joseph again, even harder]
Jac: Now we're even.
TV Show: Holby City
[Connie is showing a group of Chinese doctors round the department. Robbie Ling is translating.]
Connie: [to Robbie] You translate what I say. Translate this. This is Mr. Clifford. Mr. Clifford is a General Surgeon. As we all were before graduating to the specialism of Cardiothoracics.
Connie: [to Robbie] You translate what I say. Translate this. This is Mr. Clifford. Mr. Clifford is a General Surgeon. As we all were before graduating to the specialism of Cardiothoracics.
TV Show: Holby City
Connie: Are you disputing my diagnosis Mr Strachan?
Sam: Of course not.
Connie: Because in my humble, professional opinion, that's a dead body.
Sam: Of course not.
Connie: Because in my humble, professional opinion, that's a dead body.
TV Show: Holby City
[Elderly relative has just died.]
Relative 1: You mean she's dead?
Faye: We had to move the body but you can see her when you're ready.
Relative 1: Yes
Relative 2: Don't.
Relative 1: Yes...Yes...
Relative 2: Stop it!
Relative 1: Oh come on Lorna, don't pretend you aren't relieved.
Relative 2: Not here.
Relative 1: Why not? What's she gonna do? The old bat has finally pegged it. YES!
Relative 2: [To Faye and Sam] You must think we're evil...
Relative 1: Well I don't know about you, but I'm cracking open the champagne.
Relative 1: Sorry...
Sam: No...uh...it's OK.
Relative 1: Ding dong the witch is dead!
Relative 1: Darren!...shhh...
Faye: Somehow I don't think they'll be pushing for a malpractice suit!
Relative 1: You mean she's dead?
Faye: We had to move the body but you can see her when you're ready.
Relative 1: Yes
Relative 2: Don't.
Relative 1: Yes...Yes...
Relative 2: Stop it!
Relative 1: Oh come on Lorna, don't pretend you aren't relieved.
Relative 2: Not here.
Relative 1: Why not? What's she gonna do? The old bat has finally pegged it. YES!
Relative 2: [To Faye and Sam] You must think we're evil...
Relative 1: Well I don't know about you, but I'm cracking open the champagne.
Relative 1: Sorry...
Sam: No...uh...it's OK.
Relative 1: Ding dong the witch is dead!
Relative 1: Darren!...shhh...
Faye: Somehow I don't think they'll be pushing for a malpractice suit!
TV Show: Holby City
[Jac's ruthless ambition has made her notorious. Connie very reluctantly accepts Jac as acting registrar in her own department.]
Connie: You are very much on probation. I will be watching you.
Jac: I'll do whatever it takes.
Connie: Yes, that's what I'm afraid of.
Connie: You are very much on probation. I will be watching you.
Jac: I'll do whatever it takes.
Connie: Yes, that's what I'm afraid of.
TV Show: Holby City
[Earlier, Jac told Kevin Mathers that she had no time for "God botherers". She is now about to perform a very risky operation on a patient whose confession Kevin has been hearing.]
Kevin: Will it annoy you if I pray for you?
Jac: Yep!
Kevin: I might do it anyway, then.
Jac: I'll do some extra sinning to cancel it out.
Kevin: Will it annoy you if I pray for you?
Jac: Yep!
Kevin: I might do it anyway, then.
Jac: I'll do some extra sinning to cancel it out.
TV Show: Holby City
[Michael and Connie are arguing over the best way to treat Sam Strachan.]
Connie: You should have treated this conservatively with blood and antibiotics.
Michael: Well I beg to disagree.
Connie: Begging may be your only option - if he dies.
Michael: He's not going to, now, is he?
Connie: I'm sorry. Where does this arrogance come from?
Michael: My ability - just like your arrogance, Connie.
Connie: No! No! I'm not arrogant, Mr Spence. I am profoundly gifted.
Michael: And hugely modest!
Connie: You should have treated this conservatively with blood and antibiotics.
Michael: Well I beg to disagree.
Connie: Begging may be your only option - if he dies.
Michael: He's not going to, now, is he?
Connie: I'm sorry. Where does this arrogance come from?
Michael: My ability - just like your arrogance, Connie.
Connie: No! No! I'm not arrogant, Mr Spence. I am profoundly gifted.
Michael: And hugely modest!
TV Show: Holby City
Sam: So, you've knocked Faye up you dirty old dog.
Joseph: What? No no...it's a patient.
Sam: Come off it Joey boy.
Joseph: Alright it's Faye.
Joseph: What? No no...it's a patient.
Sam: Come off it Joey boy.
Joseph: Alright it's Faye.
TV Show: Holby City
Jac: How much? How much did you give her Joseph?
Joseph: Five thousand. I made it out to cash.
Jac: You gave him a cheque? You idiot.
Joseph: What?
Joseph: Five thousand. I made it out to cash.
Jac: You gave him a cheque? You idiot.
Joseph: What?
TV Show: Holby City
Faye: What if our presence upsets her?
Joseph: Why did you tamper with the brakes?
Joseph: Why did you tamper with the brakes?
TV Show: Holby City