Homicide - Life on the Street Quotes
Det. Meldrick Lewis: [punchline to a joke Lewis tells in episodes broadcast nearly two years apart] ... so the bear says, "You didn't really come here to hunt, did you?"
Movie: Homicide - Life on the Street
Det. Meldrick Lewis: .. and for that matter, d'you ever know anybody in the witness protection program, or know anybody who knows anybody in the witness protection program?
Det. Paul Falsone: Nobody knows. That's the point, they're invisible. Just like the Nielsen families.
Det. Paul Falsone: Nobody knows. That's the point, they're invisible. Just like the Nielsen families.
Movie: Homicide - Life on the Street
Det. Frank Pembleton: You're Mrs. Nawls, Darryl's mother?
Mary Nawls: I'm his mother. [she reads their faces and begins to panic]
Mary Nawls: Where's Darryl? Is he in trouble? Is he okay? Has he been in an accident or something?
Det. Frank Pembleton: Mrs. Nawls, I'm a homicide detective.
Mary Nawls: I'm his mother. [she reads their faces and begins to panic]
Mary Nawls: Where's Darryl? Is he in trouble? Is he okay? Has he been in an accident or something?
Det. Frank Pembleton: Mrs. Nawls, I'm a homicide detective.
Movie: Homicide - Life on the Street
Det. Meldrick Lewis: Baltimore, home of the misdemeanor homicide.
Movie: Homicide - Life on the Street
Det. Meldrick Lewis: Luther, Luther. Look both ways when you cross the street, my brother.
Luther Mahoney: You do the same.
Luther Mahoney: You do the same.
Movie: Homicide - Life on the Street
Potential Waitress: I'm not really a waitress. I write. One-acts.
Det. John Munch: Hunh, one-act plays.
Potential Waitress: Read them and we'll talk about them, okay?
Det. Meldrick Lewis: You're a writer and you had to ask me for a pen?
Potential Waitress: My life is total irony.
Det. John Munch: All in one act, huh?
Det. John Munch: Hunh, one-act plays.
Potential Waitress: Read them and we'll talk about them, okay?
Det. Meldrick Lewis: You're a writer and you had to ask me for a pen?
Potential Waitress: My life is total irony.
Det. John Munch: All in one act, huh?
Movie: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: I like that. He dies at home of a broken heart. It's refreshing.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Let me just say something, sir; this is where I've always wanted to be. You know what I'm saying? Homicide. Thinking cops. Not a gun. [Taps his temple] This.
Gee: [Slightly bemused] That's very poetic.
Gee: [Slightly bemused] That's very poetic.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: [to a medical examiner, in the morgue] What's a lady like you doing in a place like this?
Dr. Blythe: Looking for Mr. Right.
Dr. Blythe: Looking for Mr. Right.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Felton: Amazing. Life is amazing.
Pembleton: Really?
Felton: This must be a mistake. Am I actually going on a routine call with Frank Pembleton?
Pembleton: You're right. It's a mistake.
Felton: Frank Pembleton only works the big investigations. This is just some dead guy.
Pembleton: See what happens when I come into the office?
Felton: Imagine - handling a routine call with Detective Frank Pembleton.
Pembleton: I'm slumming.
Pembleton: Really?
Felton: This must be a mistake. Am I actually going on a routine call with Frank Pembleton?
Pembleton: You're right. It's a mistake.
Felton: Frank Pembleton only works the big investigations. This is just some dead guy.
Pembleton: See what happens when I come into the office?
Felton: Imagine - handling a routine call with Detective Frank Pembleton.
Pembleton: I'm slumming.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Then what you will be privileged to witness will not be an interrogation, but an act of salesmanship as silver-tongued and thieving as ever moved used cars, Florida swamp land or bibles. For what I am selling is a long prison term to a client who has no genuine use for the product.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: You're saving your really good lies for some smarter cop, is that it? I'm just a donut in the on-deck circle. Wait until the real guy gets here. Wait until that big guy comes back. I'm probably just his secretary. I'm just Montel Williams. You want to talk to Larry King.
Criminal: I'm telling you the truth.
Munch: I've been murder police for ten years. If you're going to lie to me, you lie to me with respect. What is it? Is it my shoes? Is it my haircut? Got a problem with my haircut? Don't you ever lie to me like I'm Montel Williams. I am not Montel Williams. I am not Montel Williams! I am not Montel Williams!
Criminal: Who is Montel Williams?
Munch: I'm not Montel Williams. Do you hear me, I am not Montel Williams!
Criminal: I'm telling you the truth.
Munch: I've been murder police for ten years. If you're going to lie to me, you lie to me with respect. What is it? Is it my shoes? Is it my haircut? Got a problem with my haircut? Don't you ever lie to me like I'm Montel Williams. I am not Montel Williams. I am not Montel Williams! I am not Montel Williams!
Criminal: Who is Montel Williams?
Munch: I'm not Montel Williams. Do you hear me, I am not Montel Williams!
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Munch: Mrs. Doohen, if you and your husband were so unhappy, why didn't you just get a divorce?
Mrs. Doohen: We talked about it, but we decided to wait until after the children died.
Mrs. Doohen: We talked about it, but we decided to wait until after the children died.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Howard: Your conscience is going to gnaw at you. Gnaw at you like a. Like a ...
Felton: Chipmunk.
Howard: Yeah, like a chipmunk.
Felton: Chipmunk.
Howard: Yeah, like a chipmunk.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: [to Dr. Blythe] Detective Lewis says you tend to have crabs.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bolander: This lady says to me, "Some of the men I know think its perverse; but I like to make love iguana style."
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Howard: Let me tell you what happened last night.
Felton: Is this about sex?
Howard: No.
Felton: Forget it.
Howard: I'm lying in bed...
Felton: Ooh, what were you wearing?
Howard: Stop it.
Felton: Is this about sex?
Howard: No.
Felton: Forget it.
Howard: I'm lying in bed...
Felton: Ooh, what were you wearing?
Howard: Stop it.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: Murderers lie cuz they got to, witnesses lie because they think they got to, and everyone else lies for the sheer joy of it.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Lewis: Refresh my memory. Was the name Abraham Lincoln up on the board today?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Tim, will you stop beating that horse? It's dead, it's dog meat, it's glue.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Felton, Felton, Felton!
Felton: What?
Pembleton: Help me out here, will ya?
Felton: Frank's a serious guy.
Orville: And not very well-tempered either.
Felton: What?
Pembleton: Help me out here, will ya?
Felton: Frank's a serious guy.
Orville: And not very well-tempered either.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Bayliss: Why should the killer even stay in Baltimore anymore?
Munch: Well, if he is from Baltimore, he won't go. He'll talk about it, but he won't do it.
Munch: Well, if he is from Baltimore, he won't go. He'll talk about it, but he won't do it.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Tucker: You got your dark side, and it terrifies you, and it frightens you. It scares you cause it's powerful and it makes you capable of doing anything. Anything. Without it, you look in the mirror, and all you see is an am-a-teur.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Crosetti: You got toilet paper over there?
Lewis: No.
Crosetti: You got five ones for a five?
Lewis: No.
Crosetti: You got five ones for a five?
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: You want to trust me. I know that. But you're holding back that little bit. Tell me what happened. I'm not going to write it down or anything. I'm going to sit right here. You see no...I have no pen in my hand. Nothing up my sleeve. Please, don't look at me as a cop. Look at me as a friend. Look at me as a friend. Cause that's how I'm looking at you. As a friend. Not as somebody that committed murder. Not as a really vicious person. Because you're not. I think a lot of you. You told me about your drinking and about being an Araber and everything else. I got problems too. Hell, we all got problems. Tell me what happened. I'll believe anything that you say.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Araber: [to Tim Bayliss] You from Baltimore, right? Do you say BAWL-mer or BALL-di-more? Come on, say it. I'll tell you which neighborhood you're from. I rode the streets. I talk to people. Say Baltimore, and I'll tell you within ten blocks where you were born. Yeah, you from here. You got that home grown look. The not too southern, not too northern, not on the ocean but still on the water look. With maybe a touch of inbreeding.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: I owned a Komondor. You with that Molly, you wouldn't have a clue; would you?
Bayliss: You had a Komondor? One of them foul-smelling sheep dogs from Hungary? You want me to be impressed?
Pembleton: Well, compared with an Irish setter, my dog is a genius; an Einstein.
Bayliss: Genius? And this genius's name was Rex.
Bayliss: You had a Komondor? One of them foul-smelling sheep dogs from Hungary? You want me to be impressed?
Pembleton: Well, compared with an Irish setter, my dog is a genius; an Einstein.
Bayliss: Genius? And this genius's name was Rex.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Pembleton: Life would be perfect, if it was only kids and dogs.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street
Danvers: The jury's coming back.
Felton: That was fast.
Howard: Is that good or bad? I can't remember.
Felton: Of course it's good! We can go eat dinner soon.
Felton: That was fast.
Howard: Is that good or bad? I can't remember.
Felton: Of course it's good! We can go eat dinner soon.
TV Show: Homicide - Life on the Street